


Another chance at love

by smkkbert



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-03-13 02:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 104,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13561101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smkkbert/pseuds/smkkbert
Summary: It's been almost two years since Oliver lost his fiancée Detective McKenna Hall when she died in the line of duty. He closed his heart to love ever since, unable or unwilling to give love another chance. That changes when he meets Felicity Smoak at the annual gala of the Starling City Police Foundation. Is he ready to give love another chance, though?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> “I promise you won’t regret agreeing to this.”

“Too late,” Felicity whispered more to herself than to Sara, but given the look she shot her, Felicity was sure she had heard her nonetheless. Quickly, Felicity put on a smile and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want to go alone?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Sara replied, her voice firm and determined.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, swallowing the words she had tasted on the tip of her tongue. She knew that, since she didn’t know anyone in Starling City except Sara and Quentin, she’d most likely cling to her coat-tails for the majority the evening. Sara on the other hand was deeply rooted in Starling City as she had lived here most of her life, only moving away for college, so she’d know a lot of people there. Felicity didn’t want to bother her all evening and be a third wheel. She also knew Sara didn’t want to hear any of that,  so she kept her thoughts to herself.

Once she had checked her coat, Sara dropped the ticket into her purse. She pushed her clutch purse under her arm then and linked her free arm with Felicity’s. She led her closer to where Felicity could hear low music, a babel of voices and other noises.

“I know this is not how you imagined spending your first evening in Starling City.”

“No, I didn’t,” Felicity replied with a sigh. “I was actually thinking about burgers from Big Belly, a good movie and either milkshakes or wine. I’m not picky.”

“I know you wanted a calm evening rather than this.” Sara smiled and stroked her hand up and down Felicity’s upper arm. “We don’t have to stay long. We are just going to show our faces for a bit, sponging some champagne and food in the process. Then I will introduce you to a few people dad and I are friends with and that’s it. We will be home again in three hours which is a shame because I put more time than that into my look.”

“Yeah, you look stunning,” Felicity said.

While they were walking up the stairs to where the gala was taking place, Felicity looked Sara up and down. She was wearing a dark green dress with long sleeves and a low back neckline. There was a high slit in the skirt of her dress that reached the middle of her thigh. Her hair was pinned-up elegantly. Her dark eye makeup highlighting her cool blue eyes. Given that she had Sara only seen in jeans and shirts up until now, she had definitely put a lot of work into her style for evening.

“You know that I am all in for the power of single women and, hence, absolutely support dressing up only for oneself,” Felicity added after a moment, gesturing down to her off-shoulder dress, “just look at me, however, I do wonder if maybe there is someone in particular you want to see you like this?”

Sara chuckled, shaking her head. “No, not really.”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow. “Does ‘not really’ mean that there kind of is someone after all?”

“No,” Sara said with a sigh. “Since Nyssa and I broke up, there is no one. Not really.”

Felicity chuckled, cocking her head at Sara. “What now? Is there someone or isn’t there someone?”

“No there isn’t,” Sara promised, and Felicity looked at her intently, almost waiting for her to say  _ not really _ once more. Sara only rolled her eyes slightly, though, and added, “If there is someone, you will be the first to know.”

“Good,” Felicity said with a smile.

When she and Sara stepped into the spacious room of City Hall, Felicity had to suppress a deep sigh. The lights were dimmed, highlighting the framed photos at the wall that showed the policemen and -women of the SCPD that had lost their lives in the twelve months since the last gala of the Starling City Police Foundation. Low music, something classical, came from the hidden loudspeakers. A wide buffet had been set up, and waiters were walking around taking orders and serve drinks. The guests were dressed formally, the men in tuxes and the women in dresses with extravagant hairstyles and expensive jewelry. They were chatting to each other lightly and, though Felicity could only hear fractions of what they were saying, she was sure their conversations didn’t go past small talk.

No matter how much she had tried, a low sigh escaped her lips. Immediately Sara turned towards her, cocking her head.

“How can you not like occasions like these?” Sara asked. “You just took a job as vice president of a local company with sub-offices in Moscow and probably some other countries. You have representative obligations from now on.”

“Don’t remind me,” Felicity said. “Whenever I think about officially representing the company or, even worse, stepping onto a stage and giving a speech, I actually feel nauseated.”

Sara frowned. “Then why did you accept Palmer’s offer? Don’t get me wrong, I was more than happy that you chose to live here. Otherwise, it would be Laurel enjoying your company now. If the thought of your new range of tasks makes you this nervous, why did you choose to accept the promotion instead of going to Central City like you planned? I know a lot of people say jobs like yours and mine leave you lonely, but I love working in forensics, and I know you love working with computers. Why change that for a job as an executive if it’s not what you feel comfortable with? You did say the pay didn’t matter to you anyway.”

“It doesn’t,” Felicity told her. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than having a job that she hated, where her abilities weren’t challenged, or she couldn’t achieve anything. She’d take a small apartment and little to no food over that anytime, not that it had ever looked that bad. Felicity waved it off. “Let’s not talk about that. I have made my decision. There is still enough time to think about all the reasons it was right and the reasons it was wrong later. I’ve been brooding over my pros-and-cons list for weeks. Let’s forget that for tonight.”

“Okay then,” Sara agreed without hesitation, shooting Felicity a smile. She let go of her arm to turn to the passing waiter and grab two glasses of champagne from his tray. While she was handing Felicity one, she raised the other. “To you being here and accepting the challenge of leaving your comfortable basement office to step into the spotlight as one of the leading ladies in the STEM field.”

Felicity chuckled. “My office wasn’t really in the basement, and I wouldn’t exactly say I am a leading lady yet.”

Sara shot a brief look at her watch. “But in five hours, when your promotion is official, you are.”

There was a part of Felicity that still wanted to keep denying. She had no idea why. Starting tomorrow, she would be the vice president of a tech company. Vice president was a leading position, especially given that the CEO spent most of his time in New York where his holding company was located. She was a leading lady in the STEM field after all, or at least she would be as soon as her new employment agreement went into action at midnight.

“To me,” Felicity agreed to Sara’s toast with a smile.

They clinked glasses and sipped at the champagne. Felicity had to admit that the champagne was indeed delicious, and the food looked great too. She hadn’t minded milkshakes and burgers. Since she was here now, she would have to make the best out of it.

“So,” Felicity asked, turning to Sara after she had taken another look around, “who do you want to introduce me to?”

“Dad’s new partner and-“

“What was his name again? Billy Mahoney?”

Sara cocked her head. “You watch too much Police Academy, Honey.”

Felicity grinned. “Possible.”

“His last name is Malone,” Sara replied, shaking her head, “but he moved to Coast City six months ago.”

“Oh,” Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She should have known that since she had really tried to be a good sister for the last one and a half years which had included weekly video chats with Sara and Laurel. “Sorry.”

Sara just waved it away. “His new partner is Dinah Drake. She’s super cool. And, of course, you have to get to know the mayor. By the way, Dinah and Ollie come over for dinner on most Wednesdays. At least there is an invitation for them to come over whenever they have time, but with their busy jobs and everything it doesn’t always work out.”

“Okay,” Felicity said.

She was unsure if Sara had just said it to let her know that they were Quentin’s friends or if there was something more about it. Like, did she want to invite her without urging her to go given she had just moved here and eighteen months ago she had barely had contact with any of them or-

“Yeah, that started like two and a half years ago, right after Donna died actually,” Sara said as casually as possible. She didn’t give Felicity a chance to reply to that, though. Instead, she quickly cleared her throat and leaned closer to her, explaining, “My panties are riding up my hips all the time, so they are most literally a pain in the ass. I’ll head to the ladies’ room for a minute to fix that. Then we can look for them if it’s not already time for Mayor Handsome’s speech.”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow. “Mayor Handsome?”

“The press gave him the name.” Sara chuckled. She quickly downed the rest of her champagne before she thrust her empty glass into Felicity’s hand and asked, “Are you waiting here?”

Felicity took a quick look around and nodded to one of the cocktail tables. “I’ll wait over there, so I’m not in the way.”

“I’ll hurry,” Sara promised.

With that she walked away, Felicity looked after her for a moment before moving to the cocktail table and taking another look around, trying to find any familiar faces. She had only been in Starling City a handful of times, though, and it had been more than two years since her last visit. Hence, even if she had met anyone at her mother’s funeral, she probably wouldn’t remember them. To say she felt lost and alone here would be a terrible understatement.

Felicity tugged at the pink fabric of her dress nervously, trying to occupy herself with something. She wasn’t a fan of these kinds of events, never had been. When she had accepted the promotion instead of taking the job in Central City, Ray had asked her to go to a few of these, so she was already known for her connection to one of his companies. He had said it would be easier for her once she was in Starling. Felicity doubted the slight aura of social awkwardness that was radiating from her would ever make it easier.

Shaking her head, Felicity pushed that thought away. She had decided to accept this challenge. Now she had to live with it. It was at least five hours too early to worry about that yet, so Felicity should probably distract herself more effectively. Biting down on her bottom lip, she looked around for something more effective to distract her than her dress. When she caught sight of the framed photos of the fallen police officers, she figured maybe it wouldn’t hurt to take a look. Honoring the memory of those who had lost their lives to keep this city safe was part of the reason why they had all come here together after all and-

As she had turned around, she had bumped right into a broad chest, her champagne spilling onto the white dress shirt and soaking the fabric.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” Felicity said quickly.

“It’s not-“

“I didn’t see you. Really, I am so sorry,” she added, not letting him get a word in edgeways. “It’s so clear something like this would happen to me, though. It could happen to anyone, but it is happening to me because things like this always happen to me. I am just not the kind of person for events like these. I am not the kind of person for any kind of event. I have no idea what- Oh my god, I am just making it worse.”

She had put her empty glass on the table and grabbed some of the dark red paper napkins. She had rubbed them over the wet shirt, trying to dry some of the champagne, but it only left red stains. Quickly, she pulled her hands away and bit down on her bottom lip, looking at the stained shirt.

“It’s fine.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Felicity said, dropping the wet paper napkins to the table behind her. “You should definitely send me the bill for the cleaners and I-“

“Oh, please, that’s not necessary. It’s not that big of a deal. I’ll just button my jacket and it’ll be fine.”

Felicity shot a brief look back over her shoulder, seeing that the red stains had indeed disappeared under the jacket. She released a sigh of relief, drying her hands on another paper napkin before she turned around to the man she had bumped into. The tux and bowtie did nothing to hide the strong, muscular body beneath. Her eyes lifted, taking in his edgy face with dark blonde hair and stubble. When her eyes met his piercing blue ones, she decided spontaneously that he was attractive.

“I haven’t seen you around here, have I?” he asked with a slight frown as his eyes were taking her in intently.

“No,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “I just moved here. Today actually.”

The man perked up his eyebrows. “And now you’re here?”

“My step sister gave me no choice,” Felicity explained. “She dragged me here.”

“How heartless,” he replied with a chuckle.

Felicity shook her head. “Not really. She just didn’t want me to spend my first evening in Starling City alone. Since this gala is somewhat work related, she also didn’t want to skip this, so she felt it was best to make me come along with her.”

“Your sister works for the SCPD?”

“In forensics,” Felicity replied. “She’s specialist for forensic chemistry.”

“Sara Lance?”

“Yes, exactly.” Felicity nodded enthusiastically before she mumbled, “I know that according to the census of last year, there are 576,324 people living in Starling City, but sometimes I really feel like it’s a village.”

“In some ways it is,” the man replied matter-of-factly, “but this is a little different.”

“Because you work for the SCPD?”

“No. I don’t think that would be something for me,” he replied, shaking his head. “I went to school with Laurel, so I have known Sara almost my entire life.”

“Oh,” Felicity said. “That makes sense too.”

He just nodded at her, still not smiling. He didn’t look particularly angry or even unkind. He just looked a little disinterested. Eventually, the slightest smile formed on his lips, though, and he held out his hand. “Oliver Queen.”

Felicity shook his hand, already about to answer with her own name, when she stopped. Frowning she looked him up and down once more before she asked, “Oliver Queen as in Queen Consolidated?”

There was a moment of hesitation, his smile trembling for a split second. Then he nodded, “Yes, exactly. You're the new vice president of the company, well, Palmer Technologies to be exact, right?”

“Oh my,” Felicity said, internally facepalming herself. “I guess it’s a little insensitive to ask that given your mother had to sell the company.”

“She didn’t have to.” He shrugged his shoulders. “She wanted to. Her new husband got a job offer in London. Since my sister and I are both adults, she felt it was a good idea for a fresh start somewhere else.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. “And this is why Sara shouldn’t have left me alone. I am spilling champagne onto strangers and let my nosiness forget my manners.”

Again, he only shrugged it off. “It’s absolutely okay and- Oh, wait a second.”

He grabbed two glasses of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter and handed her one of them like Sara had before. Felicity smiled, whispering a low, “Thanks.”

“Welcome to Starling City, Felicity,” he said.

Felicity wondered how he knew her name, but she assumed that Laurel or Sara might have mentioned it to him. Her mother and Quentin had been married for almost two years before Donna had died after all. Maybe her name had been mentioned once or twice in that time. She just smiled and clinked glasses with him. At least she knew one person apart from her stepfamily now.

“So, what are Sara’s plans for you tonight?” he – Felicity had to admit that she had been so focused on his surname that she had forgotten his first name – asked.

“She wants to introduce me to some of her friends, Quentin’s new partner Dinah and some other friend. That might have to wait a little longer if she takes much longer, though. She mentioned the mayor was going to give a speech? Mayor Handsome,” Felicity added. When he perked up his eyebrows at the way she said the mayor’s nickname, she chuckled. “Sara told me the press called him that. I actually think it might be a euphemism for a man in his mid-forties with sparse hair and a potbelly.”

There was a hint of an amused smile playing around the corner of his lips now, and Felicity could almost feel a tension she hadn’t noticed before fading from the air. He did his best to hold his amusement back, but he seemed to be struggling. There was a wide smile forming on his lips. Taking a sip from his champagne, he took a brief look around the room.

“I don’t see him right now,” he said after a moment, leaning just a little closer, so he could lower his voice a little more, “but he does kind of fancy himself.”

“So, no man in his mid-forties with sparse hair and a potbelly?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that.”

Felicity smiled and the way he smiled back at her gave her a feeling of content and pleasantness she didn’t feel often when talking to someone she had just met. After she had spilled the champagne onto him and had made it even worse when she had tried to fix it, she would have understood if he had just rolled his eyes, groaned some words about her clumsiness and left.

“Your stepfather-“

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” a short brunette in a long, black dress said, stepping closer with an apologetic smile on her lips, “but it’s time.”

“I’ll be there in a second, Speedy,” he replied.

The brunette looked back and forth between Felicity and him for a moment. There was an expression on her face, a hint of a smile with a glint in her eyes, that Felicity didn’t know what to think of or how to interpret. After a long second, the brunette smiled politely and stepped back, though.

“I am sorry,” the handsome Queen man said to Felicity. “I have to go.”

“Of course,” Felicity replied with a smile. “Sara should be here any second anyway.”

He held out his hand and Felicity took it to shake.

“It was nice meeting you, Felicity,” he said and there was something in his eyes or maybe in the way he said it that let her know that he meant it.

“It was very nice to meet you too,” Felicity replied.

They smiled at each other for a moment longer, their eyes locking. Felicity enjoyed the feeling his calloused fingertips felt on the back of her hand. His hand was warm and big, much bigger than hers, so it encompassed almost her entire hand. He squeezed it gently before he turned around and walked away, following the brunette, who was waiting for him.

Felicity continued smiling. One of the many reasons she had hesitated to take the job here in Starling City was that she didn’t know anyone here except Sara and Quentin. She wasn’t particularly good at getting to know new people, and with her new position at Palmer Tech, she doubted there was much time to make any either. Maybe she was lucky and  would actually get to meet some nice people here. Starling City was supposed to be her home for a long time after all. It probably would have grown into a second home for her a long time ago if it had been up to her mother, but she had never given the city a chance.

Before Felicity got to revel in old regrets, Sara returned.

“Hey, sorry, it took me so long,” Sara said. Her eyes landed on the used napkins on the table. “What happened here?”

“Oh, I figured the best way to get to know someone is to be my typical clumsy self, so I spilled a glass of champagne on a guy.”

Sara chuckled. “I hope he looked good at least.”

“He did,” Felicity replied a little too quickly and felt herself blush. She cleared her throat, adding, “You know him. He’s a Queen… I mean… from the Queen family. He said he went to school with Laurel.”

“You met Ollie already?” Sara hissed. “Was he very… brusque?”

Felicity frowned. “No, should he have?”

“Ollie can be difficult,” Sara said with a sad smile.

Felicity cocked her head. “You sound like you are describing a bull terrier or a pubescent teenager.”

“I kind of do, right?” Sara replied. She took Felicity’s glass and took a sip from her champagne. When Felicity continued looking at her, wordlessly asking what was going on and what she meant. Sara hesitated for a moment before she gave in with a sigh and nodded. “His fiancée died two years ago.”

“Oh,” Felicity said.

Sara nodded sadly. “It’s been terrible. You know, McKenna was dad’s partner when your mom died. They almost had like a father-daughter-relationship because he trained her years ago before she moved to Ivy Town for a few years. Anyway, McKenna was there for dad when Donna died. She supported him and helped him not drown his pain in alcohol. Laurel and I couldn’t have done it without her help.”

“Sounds like she’s been a great person,” Felicity whispered.

She felt a stitch of guilt at the thought that she, unlike McKenna, hadn’t been such a help in the time after her mother’s death. She had been broken and full of regrets of never even trying to have a better relationship with her mother, hence, too distracted to listen to Sara or Laurel when they had called her to ask if she could talk to him. They had thought it would mean more if it came from her as she had been closer to Donna which Felicity hadn’t even been sure was true, still wasn’t too be honest. Her mother had loved Sara and Laurel almost like they were her own daughters. Felicity had been the only one who had constantly opted out of the family idyll even when Donna had still been alive.

“How did she die?” Felicity asked, pushing those thoughts away.

Sara shrugged her shoulders. “She was shot in the line of duty. They were chasing a drug dealer when it happened. It’s been hard on Ollie. My dad helped him through it as much as he could. He had experience with grieving your loved one’s death and McKenna had been there for him, so he wanted to be there for Oliver. He kind of became a part of our family through it. He’s really a good guy, but he’s been closed off since then and-“

When the music stopped, they both turned their heads to see the spotlights being directed to the stage for a moment.

“I’ll tell you more later,” Sara whispered.

“Not necessary,” Felicity replied and took her glass back from Sara, taking a huge gulp. “I feel like I already know more about him than I knew about any of my friends in New York.”

Sara linked her arm with Felicity’s. “You’ll see that the anonymity of the city is outweighed by the citizen’s ability to gossip here. If this city is ever renamed, it should be Gossip City.”

Felicity chuckled. “I guess I can- Oh my god!”

Her eyes went wide, and she grabbed Sara’s hand tightly when the man she had talked with so nicely before stepped onto the stage with a wide smile, earning him applause from everyone around.

“The press does have all the reason in the world to call him Oliver ‘Mayor Handsome’ Queen, don’t they?”

Felicity let her head fall into her hands, squeezing her eyes shut. She should really just lock herself into a room and stay there forever. She should definitely not meet new people and, if she does, she should keep her mouth shut.

“Why do I always need to put my foot in it with whoever I meet?”

“Why what did you do?”

When Felicity looked up, she saw Sara frowning at her.

While Oliver started giving his speech, Felicity leaned closer to Sara and whispered, “I might have mentioned my suspicion that Mayor Handsome is a euphemism for a not so handsome mayor?”

Sara grinned, biting back a chuckle. “And Ollie didn’t tell you who he was?”

“No or otherwise I would have known that Mayor Handsome is indeed kind of handsome. He just went with it like he felt the mayor was a shallow, self-regarding idiot,” Felicity replied. When Sara pressed her lips together and pulled them into to her mouth, Felicity slapped her hand playfully. “That’s not funny.”

“Yes, it is,” Sara replied. She did her best to bite back a chuckle, but it wouldn’t really work. “It’s been awhile since Ollie played a trick like that, or at least that is what I have heard.”

“That doesn’t make it better,” Felicity whispered.

Sara grinned, looking at him once more. They listened to his speech about the importance of the city being united and his gratitude to the police who were keeping all of them safe. He seemed to be an eloquent speaker though Felicity wondered if he had written the speech himself or if it had been written for him. After a minute of silence to remember the people that had died to keep this city safe, he smiled. It didn’t look honest to Felicity, but he did smile.

“Now, I’d suggest all of you get some drinks and some food and enjoy the evening,” he said. “I, for one, will probably skip both as I have recently been made aware that a Mayor Handsome with a potbelly would turn the handsome into a euphemism.”

There was some laughter, but Felicity couldn’t tune into it, mainly because Oliver’s eyes suddenly found hers for a split second. He looked honestly amused. Felicity recognized it though their eyes had locked for barely longer than two seconds before he looked away and said something else that Felicity didn’t hear. She was too distracted, hoping the earth would just swallow her whole.

Sara bumped her hip against Felicity’s playfully. “Okay, whatever it is about you, we need to collect it in a bottle. I haven’t seen him that cheerful since… I have no idea when the last time was that I saw him this cheerful, maybe when Thea accidentally fell into the pool during a private Christmas party last year.”

Felicity shot Sara a look. “Yeah, there is just something about me that makes people laugh all the time, about me rather than with me. I guess I can’t be picky.”

Sara chuckled, resting her head on Felicity’s shoulder for a moment. “I’d never thought Laurel’s position of my favorite sister was challenged, but it is being challenged now.”

Felicity smiled genuinely. “If anyone had told me that I would ever say I have a sister, I would have laughed, but I do feel like I have a sister now.”

It was true. It hadn’t been long since they had started to connect and most of that had happened over the internet. Meeting face-to-face and spending time together was new, but it almost felt like it had never been different. It only made her regret never really trying with the Lances before.

“Now, are we going to lunge for the buffet?”

“Hell, yes,” Felicity said, glad Sara mentioned it. “I have been starving for hours.”

* * * * *

“I am so sorry I couldn’t pick you up from the airport,” Quentin said, still hugging Felicity. “I have been doing my best, but my job is kind of unpredictable.”

“I know that,” Felicity replied honestly, tightening her arms around Quentin for a moment. Then she let go and pulled back, smiling at her stepfather. “Busy day at work?”

“Very busy,” he replied with a sigh. “Dinah and I played rock, paper, scissors  to decide who would have to write the report.”

“I guess you won?” Sara asked.

Quentin chuckled. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.”

“Dutiful as always,” she teased her dad.

Felicity just smiled at the two of them for a moment before she cleared her throat and said, “Thanks for the warm welcome by the way and for letting me stay at your house. I will find an apartment as soon as I can and-“

“No hurry,” Sara interrupted her. “We are glad you decided to move in with us, so take your time finding something of your own.”

Quentin nodded. “There is no hurry, and, just in case you want a second or third pair of eyes, we’ll gladly join you when you  apartment hunt.”

“Thank you,” Felicity whispered and lowered her eyes for a moment.

When she had decided to take the promotion over the new job, she had searched the web for apartments to live in. Since she didn’t know much about Starling City, she had been hesitate to decide on one. She had just started to look into an apartment in the Glades – spacious and affordable – when Sara had advised against it as the Glades seemed to be the most dangerous neighborhood. Almost in the same sentence she had mentioned that she and Laurel had converted the upper floor and attic of Quentin’s house ino to an apartment for them and that, since Laurel had moved to Central City a while ago, she had a free room Felicity could have. Felicity had hesitated to accept the offer, but Sara hadn’t allowed any objection.

“How would you two like to have dinner together tomorrow?” Quentin asked. “I think Felicity moving here calls for a little celebration.”

“Why? We threw this giant party for Felicity,” Sara said. When Quentin shot her a look, she sighed dramatically. “Yeah, Felicity reacted the same way.”

“Having dinner together tomorrow sounds great,” Felicity replied and smiled. “I have my first day at PT, so I can’t say when I will be home because I am not sure what to expect there, but I will do my best to be home by seven. Is that okay?”

“Perfect,” Quentin replied. “We can all cook together.”

“Yeah, I can’t cook,” Felicity said.

Sara chuckled. “Donna couldn’t either. We always asked her to sit at the counter and enjoy the wine while we were cooking.”

Even if Felicity hadn’t heard Sara, she could have pinpointed the second her mother’s name had fallen. Though Quentin was still smiling, she had seen the way his smile had turned from hopeful and grateful to sad. She guessed he had lived through his grief long enough to hide it behind a smile, so nobody else would see as it always made people uncomfortable to see someone they cared about in pain. Felicity didn’t know Quentin well, but she could see through him, and she guessed so could everyone else.

Sara reached out a hand, gently rubbing it up and down her father’s arm. Felicity lowered her gaze. She didn’t want to watch this intimate moment between father and daughter. She felt like she was intruding.

“Donna would have liked this evening,” Quentin said eventually, making Felicity look back up. “She always liked occasions like these.”

Felicity smiled, nodding her head. “She loved dressing up and going out. Las Vegas was in her DNA.”

“Wherever she is, I think she’s watching over us right now and is happy,” Sara whispered. “I mean… the three of us together? How many times did that happen while she was alive?”

Not often enough, Felicity thought to herself immediately. The thought made her stomach twist once more like it always did. Only this time it was so bad that it almost made her feel like her throat was tightening.

“Could you excuse me for a second?” Felicity asked, hurriedly putting her glass way. “I need some fresh air.”

“Should I come with you?” Sara asked.

“No,” Felicity hurried to say, turning back to Sara. “I’m fine. I just need a little fresh air. It’s a little hot in here.”

She turned around again, barely managing to avoid running into another person today. She lifted her hand as a silent apology and hurried outside. Since she doubted that City Hall had any terrace or balconies or anything like that, she pushed through the front doors and hurried down the steps in front of the building. As soon as she had reached the foot of the stairs, she closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

Since the day Sara had called her to tell her that her mother had died in a car crash, Felicity had lived with regrets. She knew she had had every reason to be angry with her mom. When she had found out her mother had lied to her for years, she had left and broken contact for four years, she had had every reason to. She had tried to forgive her mother, but she hadn’t been able to. It was only when she had received the wedding invitation that she had done her mother the favor. Still, those two years until she had died, it hadn’t been the way a relationship between mother and daughter was supposed to be. Admittedly, their relationship had never been the way the relationship between a typical mother and daughter was supposed to be, but it had been particularly bad since the reveal of her mother’s lie.

Felicity took in another deep breath, feeling her lungs filling with the cold night air. For a long time, she had doubted her decision to move to Starling City and she was sure she’d continue to regret it occasionally for the next few months. Living in the house her mother had lived in during the years before her death, and living with the people that had been her family during that time, was overwhelming. At least Felicity imagined it to be overwhelming. She hadn’t been here long enough to be sure yet. Anyway, she hadn’t made this decision just to silence her conscience. She had moved here because the job was-

“In need of some fresh air, too?”

Gasping for breath, Felicity turned around. She had been so deep in thought that she hadn’t realized she was no longer alone.

“Sorry,” Oliver said quickly, lifting his hands as a sign that he had come in peace. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“You did frighten me,” Felicity said with a chuckle, holding her hand to her racing heart, “but I was in thought, so it was at least partly my fault.”

Oliver smiled at her, and Felicity smiled back. When the memory of not just ruining his shirt, but also babbling about Mayor Handsome, not knowing he was the mayor, came back to her mind, she bit her bottom lip. She had tried to avoid him all evening, turning around or looking down whenever she had seen him anywhere near her. She knew it was probably kind of childish, but she felt she had taken enough embarrassment for one day.

So, now that she couldn’t avoid him anymore, she wondered what exactly was the appropriate reaction. Did she have to apologize? Technically, she hadn’t said anything that would call for an apology as she hadn’t offended him. At least she thought she hadn’t. She had stated an expectation that had been raised by a name that she hadn’t even known belonged to him. On the other hand, what else was she supposed to say? She couldn’t just tell him that obviously she had been wrong and Mayor Handsome was kind of handsome.

“I’m sorry about before,” she said hesitatingly, gesturing to the building of City Hall vaguely. When she looked back at Oliver, seeing his facial expression still unchanged, she suddenly felt a wave of nervousness raise inside and she suddenly found herself in the middle of a long babble. “I mean technically you should apologize too because it was a little impolite to just let me talk about the Mayor though you knew exactly that you are the Mayor. Then again, I guess there was barely a way to stop me and, after the words were out, what were you supposed to say? ‘Hey, I’m the Mayor. Do I look like your vision?’ And then I would have had to find an answer, but that doesn’t matter because I am pretty sure you didn’t come out here to listen to me babble. Which will end in three, two, one.”

Felicity pressed her lips together and rolled them into her mouth, feeling heat rising to her cheeks. She looked down at her feet for a moment, silently cursing herself for having zero control over what her mouth was doing, before she looked up again. Oliver still hadn’t said a word. He just stood there, his hands buried in the pockets of his pants as he grinned widely.

Eventually, he cleared his throat and nodded. “You are right. I am very sorry. That was not very nice of me.”

Felicity cocked her head, narrowing her eyes at him. When Oliver couldn’t hide his amusement, she pressed her lips together and hit his chest with her purse gently. He only chuckled in response.

They looked at each other. While Felicity was smiling, Oliver’s smile slowly faded. He still looked content, but his face was quieter now if faces could be quiet. He looked at her, taking deep breaths. Felicity felt the need to look away, but she couldn’t. She didn’t know why.

“Do you want to go back inside, or do you want to walk a little?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Don’t you have to go back?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I can take a few minutes. Events like these can be quite exhausting and they usually take a lot of time. It never hurts to take a break once or twice each evening. I usually walk once around the block. It’s not very far.”

Felicity hesitated. She didn’t want Sara or Quentin to worry after she had left so quickly. She didn’t want to go back in just yet either, though. She just really didn’t want to explain to them that talking about her mother still hurt her sometimes.

“Yeah, a walk would probably be good.”

Oliver smiled. “Do you want my jacket?”

“No, I’m fine,” Felicity replied honestly.

They started walking side by side, neither of them saying a word. Felicity wasn’t sure what this was. She barely knew Oliver aside from some small talk before and the little bit she knew from Sara. For some weird reason she didn’t understand it didn’t feel like he was a stranger. She felt comfortable around him, at least as long as she didn’t babble.

“So, I heard you and my stepdad are good friends?” Felicity asked, feeling the need to say something that could fill the silence.

“Yes,” Oliver replied, smiling at her briefly, before he lowered his eyes that looked sad all of a sudden. He looked at his feet, his head ducked between his shoulders. “He helped me through a hard time.”

Felicity nodded quickly, whispering, “Yeah, Sara mentioned it.”

Oliver lifted his head in surprise, looking at her for a long moment. His eyes were scrutinizing her, looking for any reaction it seemed. Felicity just looked back, not saying a word. She didn’t know if that was the reaction he wanted or had expected.

Eventually, he nodded. “Yeah.”

Felicity lowered her gaze once more, pulling her bottom lip between her front teeth and biting down on it nervously. They really needed something else to talk about if they didn’t want to  walk the other half around the block in silence too. Since she was at a lack of possible subjects that wouldn’t lead them back to any heavy topics, Felicity just stayed silent. Usually, silence bothered her, especially when being with people. There was something to the silence here that made her feel comfortable, though. Besides, she knew she’d only start babbling again if she opened her mouth.

Just when City Hall came back into sight, their walk almost over way too soon, Oliver asked, “Any plans about what to do with Palmer Tech yet?”

Surprised and incredibly grateful that he had come up with something, Felicity looked up and smiled. Shaking her head, she answered, “No, not yet. I think I need to learn the ropes first, but I heard PT is great at biotechnical developments in the medical field. They did invent this biochip to help with nerve damage last year. It would be nice to take up on that if possible. The chip is still unbelievably expensive so far, so it’s not affordable for most people. I think that needs to be changed. Then of course there are so many other medical problems that could be helped with the right tech. I think the industry has been sleeping on that a lot, especially on creating something affordable. Why should those treatments be limited to the top three percent of the world?”

Oliver nodded. “Ambitious.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I think if people aren’t ambitious, they don’t even have to try in the first place. That doesn’t mean you have to reach for the stars all of the times. You just have to challenge yourself.”

Again, he nodded, and a smile broke onto his lips. “Can I use that for a speech if it’s working?”

Felicity chuckled. “Sure.”

Oliver smiled at her for a moment, then saying seriously, “I guess PT can expect some huge changes in the near future then.”

“If everything works out the way I imagine it to, yes,” Felicity replied with a smile. “I did have to promise the Chief of Police to check the system at the SCPD first, though. Really, you have so many companies that work in the tech field here in Starling City, and your police’s system crashes all the time?”

Oliver scrunched up his nose slightly. “I’d be more shocked if the same didn’t happen to the system in City Hall too.”

Felicity gasped for breath dramatically, holding her hand to her heart. “I am shocked. It breaks my heart if computers are treated like that. They need care and attention. Otherwise they get angry and don’t behave. They are like children… or dog.”

They both chuckled at that and smiled at each other. Felicity wondered if it was even possible that Oliver was brusque or closed off as Sara had described him before. He was avoiding talking about his fiancée, but, really, she wouldn’t want to talk about her mother either. They didn’t know each other to touch on those subjects yet. Outside of that, he seemed really nice and nothing like what Sara had told her about him.

“We are back,” Felicity stated after a moment.

“We are,” Oliver agreed with a nod and sighed. “I am not sure I am ready to go back in there. I did promise one or two ladies a dance, though.”

Felicity chuckled. “Don’t you like occasions like these?”

“They are the  rather annoying part of the job I really love,” Oliver replied and sighed once more. “I know it’s important, though, so I am doing my best. The dancing is the most struggle, but I can’t say no, so…”

Felicity smiled. “You are probably doing the best you can.”

Oliver smiled back at her, not saying anything more. Felicity moved her hands up and down her thighs, unsure what to do with her hands otherwise. Since she would probably need more dresses for galas and other events like these, she should make sure they had pockets. Oliver, with his hands pushed into the pockets of his pants, just had it a lot easier.

“Do you-“

“Oh, here you are,” Sara interrupted Oliver. She quickly approached them and put a hand to Felicity’s shoulder, almost like she was wordlessly apologizing for mentioning her mother before. “I think it’s time to leave, right?”

“Yes, I think so,” Felicity agreed and nodded.

Sara looked back and forth between her and Oliver for a moment. “I will get our jackets.”

“Yes, thanks,” Felicity replied, watching Sara walk up the stairs to the entrance again. After a moment, she looked back at Oliver and held out her hand for him. “It was nice meeting you, Oliver.”

He took her hand, an assessing expression on his face as he looked into his eyes. While he was still shaking her hand, he lifted his free hand to the inside of his jacket, saying, “Maybe I can give you my card, so you could call me when… you have time to take a look at the system in City Hall… or… I don’t know… need an exclusive city tour by the Mayor himself.”

Felicity faltered for a second, unsure what that was supposed to mean, but she nodded. “Yes, sure.”

Oliver smiled, continuing to look for the card. After a few seconds, he scrunched up his nose, though. “I think I might have given out all my cards tonight. Do you have five minutes more, so I can find my sister? She usually has some cards in reserve.”

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary,” Felicity replied and quickly opened her purse to pull a card out. “The address and phone number are wrong, but the mail and mobile number are still the same. You can call me any time.”

Just like Felicity had before, Oliver faltered for a moment. Felicity wondered why as it made no difference who took the card of the other. He took the card after a moment of hesitation nonetheless, though, and smiled.

It wasn’t long until Sara came back. Felicity handed her stepsister her purse for a moment, so she could put on her jacket. When they were both ready to go, she turned back to Oliver one last time.

“Goodnight,” she said.

Oliver smiled. “Goodnight to you too, Felicity… and to you too, Sara, of course.”

“Night, Ollie,” Sara replied, not able to bite back an amused grin.

Oliver looked at Sara for a moment, his body tensing suddenly, before he gave them a nod and stalked away. Felicity frowned slightly at the sudden change of behavior. The thought faded away when Sara linked her arm with hers, though, and they started walking to catch a cab. When Sara continued smiling, Felicity frowned.

“Did I miss a joke or something?”

“No,” Sara replied with a chuckle. “It’s like… it’s your first evening here and you are already hooking yourself the Mayor.”

Felicity frowned. “I didn’t.”

Sara shot her a look. “He basically asked you out on a date.”

“He asked me to fix the system at City Hall. That’s part of my job.”

“Yes, or he wants to show you the city,” Sara replied, “which is most definitely not part of your job.”

“That was just a friendly suggestion or whatever.”

“I doubt it,” Sara answered. “You know it’s the first time that he asked someone out since McKenna died, at least as far as I know.”

“Which only confirms my point that he did not ask me out. He just wanted to be nice. I mean he and your dad are friends after all.”

Sara beckoned for a cab to stop, shooting Felicity a look. “I’d bet that he’ll call you to ask you out in less than a week.”

“I still doubt it.”

Sara cocked her head, opening the door of the cab. “Don’t want him to ask you out?”

Felicity chuckled, screwing up her face slightly. “Sara, I have known him for three hours. We barely talked two dozen sentences with each other. How would I know?”

Sara shrugged it off, not saying anything more, as they got in the cab. Felicity frowned to herself slightly, but she was grateful Sara let it go for now. This day had been exhausting as it had been. She didn’t want to think about any possible future romances right now. Even if it might be nice and Oliver seemed like a genuinely good guy, she had enough on her plate as it was. There was just no time for a romance.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Though it had been more than two years since she had last been here, Felicity found her way easily. It was like the moment she stepped through the archway, her feet took over. Almost effortlessly they carried her to her destination. There was a gravestone on her mother’s burial plot now, and fresh sunflowers had been left atop it. Quentin came here every day. Who else would leave her mother’s favorite flowers?

Felicity pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat and hunched her shoulders, overwhelmed by a wave of guilt. She hadn’t even thought about bringing flowers or anything. She had been too busy debating with herself whether or not to come here at all. When she had decided to move to Starling City, she had agreed with herself that she’d take baby steps. Visiting her mother’s grave felt like a lot more than a baby step. She had wanted to be absolutely sure that she was ready before coming here. With all the doubts, she had forgotten to bring flowers.

Standing here now, Felicity worried that maybe she had pushed herself too far too fast. She felt the anger she had forgotten, or at least pushed down, for so long seething in the pit of her stomach. Even worse was the regret and the guilt of wasted time that was crashing down on her. It strangled her, making her chest tighten and her breath falter.

Taking in a deep breath despite the pain in her chest, Felicity started moving the thumb of her right hand over the long line on the palm of her left hand. It was a technique her friend Iris had recommended to her when these moments of feeling overwhelmed had first occurred. It helped her more than Felicity had thought it would. She felt the pressure easing from her chest. Her heartbeat slowed down and the anger as well as the guilt and regret vanished, at least for the most part.

“Baby steps.”

Felicity nodded slowly, letting her whispered words sink in. She could still slow down and take her time until she was ready, so Felicity started with taking a closer look at the gravestone.  _ Beloved mother and wife  _ it said. Quentin had suggested the grave inscription, and Felicity had just nodded along. She hadn’t felt like she had any right to disagree with it, and she hadn’t had any other suggestion anyway. As ordinary and uncreative the words Quentin had picked were, Felicity had felt like maybe they were the best choice.

Once Felicity had gotten used to the sight of her mother’s name on the gravestone, she crouched down in front of it. With a little bit of hesitation, she reached out her hand and touched the cold stone. She felt a stitch in her heart when she remembered the way her mother had liked to frame her face in her hands when she had been little. She would tell her how much she loved her and then kiss the tip of her nose.

“Hi, Mom.”

Felicity felt her throat starting to burn and tears welling in her eyes. When she had traveled to her mother’s wedding, she had debated whether to refer to her mom as  mom or Donna. She had been so angry still that she had felt her pain could only be eased if she hurt her mother as badly as she had hurt her. She had decided for the first, but there had been a part of her that had almost felt like it was wrong.

“I know I haven’t visited since… you moved here,” Felicity said slowly. “I just… I know that…”

Felicity stopped, closing her eyes for a moment. She had practiced the words she wanted to say to her mother, so she was a hundred percent sure that they really expressed what she felt. Yet, being here made it unbelievably hard to say them. She felt a single tear slip down her cheek, and she quickly wiped it away.

“I came here to tell you that I am sorry,” Felicity continued eventually. “When we talked before your wedding, I know I said I forgave you, but the truth is that I didn’t. I didn’t forgive you, at least not then. I tried or at least I thought I tried, but… I just wasn’t ready, and I didn’t really understand then. I still don’t understand. At least I still have trouble understanding some things. I had trouble understanding why you decided to not go  with dad because I could have kept my father and we could have still been a family. I think I only realized recently that dad probably left us a long time before he really left. As a kid, I felt he was a great dad to me because he understood me, and he shared the same interests as I did. I guess he chose a life without us over a life with us though. He never tried to reach out. All those years I tried to make him proud and he never tried to contact me, so he made his decision to leave us, not you. You have always been there for me in the only way that matters. I couldn’t appreciate that because I was too caught up in shallowness and thinking how much closer and similar I was with dad than you.”

She took a moment to think about her words. She and her dad had always been closer than she and her mother. Donna had just been so different. Sure, she had been as quirky as Felicity was around people from time to time, but she had always felt that it was the only thing that was similar for her and her mother. On the other hand, her father and her had been the same on so many levels. They had both been blessed with a high IQ, sharing a love for technology and especially computers. It was why she had always been closer to her dad.

When he had left, it had been like a world ending for Felicity. She had sat at the window of her room, looking outside and waiting for her dad to come back for weeks. As it had slowly dawned on her that her dad was not going to come back, she had started blaming herself, thinking he must have left because of her. She had grown up with that thought in mind, and, yet, she had still given her best to make her father proud.

It hadn’t been until one of the many fights between her and her mother that it had slipped Donna’s lips that Noah had actually wanted Felicity and her to join him wherever he had gone. Donna had been the one to decide to stay behind.

It had taken until last year for Felicity to really get how much blame she had put on her mother, and how little that had changed even when she had given in to her mother’s tries of reaching out and attending her wedding.

“I know you always wanted what was best for me, and I get that now,” Felicity continued. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see that while you were still alive. I was just so blinded by my pain and anger that I couldn’t see things from your perspective. I think the truth is that I had a right to my anger, but that you probably did what you thought what was best for both of us. So, I am not sure there is anything that I need to forgive, but I am just going to tell you that I forgive you nonetheless, for real this time. Maybe you don’t need to hear it, but I need to know that I said it.”

Felicity smiled quietly, releasing a long breath. It suddenly hit her how much she had needed to tell her mother that. She hoped her mother could hear her and forgive her for the grudge she had held against her. Felicity could honestly say that she was feeling better now, but she doubted that the little knot in the pit of her stomach would ever completely go away. Her mother had died, unsure if Felicity had really forgiven her. Felicity would always wonder if her mother would have forgiven her if she had come to her earlier.

“I moved to Starling City in case you didn’t know yet,” Felicity added, feeling like maybe now was the time to tell her mother how she was planning to make up for everything. “I have been here for almost three weeks now, leading Palmer Tech which is part of the company I worked for before. I am living in Sara’s apartment for now, but I will find something of my own sooner or later. I know it’s late, but I am really trying to bond with them now. Like, we are living together and eating together and everything. It’s really great. You would have loved seeing us together.”

Felicity felt tears welling in her eyes once more. This time, she had a lot more trouble holding them back. When the first tears fell, she straightened up, having trouble keeping  her balance in the crouched position. She wiped some tears away, but it didn’t help much as the next were already falling.

“I am really trying to make Starling City my home now, and Sara and Quentin are doing their best to help me with that,” Felicity said despite the tears. “Sara and I are meeting for a coffee in half an hour. She wants to introduce me to Dinah. She had hoped we would just meet on one of those Wednesday evening dinners they always have, but they needed to be canceled these last few weeks because Dinah and Quentin were on duty.”

She looked at her mother’s grave, feeling the anger and regret being replaced with grief. It wasn’t as overwhelming as it had been when she had first learned about her mother’s death, but it was still bad. Felicity knew it was a good sign. It was a sign that she was making progress because you couldn’t make progress in grieving without any pain. She knew that from the way she had grieved when her father had left. Her childhood had taught her a lot, and she had come out stronger from it. It was probably something else she and her mother had had in common and-

“Hi.”

Gasping for breath and flinching in surprise, Felicity turned around. A tall woman with dark brown hair and light brown eyes stood not far from Felicity, smiling at her apologetically. Felicity quickly wiped her tears away.

“I am so sorry,” she said, trying to smile. “I was… Was I too loud?”

“Oh no,” the woman hurried to say. “When I am here, I always talk to my daughter, too.”

Felicity shot her a sad smile. The woman couldn’t be much older than Donna had been when she died. She was too young for a dead daughter, but she guessed you could never be old enough to have a dead child. Your children weren’t supposed to die before you.

“I just wanted to ask if you need anything.” the woman replied. “A ear to listen or maybe tissue?”

Felicity chuckled sadly, knowing she must look terribly tear-stained. She took in a deep breath, wiping her hands over her cheeks once more.

“Thank you,” she said after a moment, “but I am fine. I was simply overwhelmed for a few minutes. I… visiting my mother’s grave for the first time since the funeral and… and I am fine.”

“Okay,” the woman replied. “If you change your mind, I’ll be right over there.”

She gestured in the opposite direction with the flowers in her hand before she waved with a smile and turned around.

“Maybe-“ Felicity said to hold her back, and immediately the woman turned back around to her. Felicity smiled, taking a step towards her. “I know it’s a weird question, but could I buy one of those flowers?”

The woman looked at her with surprise before she lowered her eyes to the tulips in her hand. Without any hesitation, she tugged out one of them and held it out to her.

“No money needed,” she said. “It’s a gift.”

Felicity smiled, taking the flower from her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The woman smiled at her for a moment longer before she turned around and walked away. Felicity smiled. Either she had just met the nicest person of the city or people here were just nicer in general. Turning back to her mother’s grave once more, she crouched down and put the single tulip next to the sunflowers.

“Next time, I will bring you a bouquet,” Felicity whispered with a smile. “I promise.”

Felicity kissed the tips of her fingers before she pressed them against the gravestone. As she got up and walked away, she still felt the pang of grief, but she also felt something wonderful. As tiny as it was, there was a glimpse of hope that had been planted in her chest. She’d get over the regrets and the anger that had plagued her the last few  years. It would take time to make her peace with it completely, but she’d get there one day. Change would come. Felicity could feel it in her bones.

* * * * *

Taking another look at her watch, Felicity sighed. Sara and Dinah were supposed to be here almost ten minutes ago. Neither of them had texted to tell her that they were running late or anything. They just left her waiting, and Felicity had no idea whether to order or just wait. She had chosen to wait, but it really wasn’t easy because she was craving coffee and the muffins smelled so wonderful that they only reminded her of how hungry she was. She hadn’t been able to get down a single bite of her breakfast this morning with her plan of visiting her mother in her head, so she really needed something to eat and some caffeine to keep her body running.

Pushing her bottom lip forward Felicity decided that she couldn’t wait any longer, at least not without a mug of coffee and one of those wonderful muffins. Immediately she slid off her chair to take a closer look at the offered pastries and bumped right into someone, their coffee spilling over the rim of the paper cup and on their black coat.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry! Felicity hurried to say and quickly grabbed some paper napkins from the counter to dry the wet fabric. “I didn’t see you and-“

“Is it just me or do you have the feeling of déjà-vu too?”

Surprised, Felicity looked up to see Oliver looking at her with amusement. His lips were spread into a wide smile and his eyes sparkled. There was no sign that he was upset about her clumsiness and the coffee that was now all over his coat.

Felicity pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit down on it, feeling a deep blush spreading over her cheeks. She was indeed getting the feeling of a déjà-vu given she had run into Oliver only three weeks ago, spilling her champagne on him then like she had spilled his coffee on him just now. It had been the chaotic start of what had had the potential to grow into a friendship or maybe something more, at least according to Sara. She and Oliver had had some nice conversation and maybe there had been a little spark as they had taken to each other instantly. Oliver had had her number for the last three weeks but hadn’t call her, though.

When it had first dawned on Felicity that Oliver wasn’t going to call her, she had felt the slightest bit of disappointment. She had really enjoyed talking to him during the gala and the short walk they had taken together. With all the unfinished business with her mother, she hadn’t been sure if it had been a good idea to go out with him though, even if he asked her. Besides, trying to make herself feel at home in Starling City was more important than anything right now. Throwing herself into whatever there could or couldn’t be between her and Oliver, who also was her stepfather’s friend, was probably just going to make things harder, especially in the long run.

It took a moment for Felicity to get over her surprise. Eventually, she put on a smile and handed Oliver the paper napkins. She figured there was no reason to dry him again like she had three weeks ago. She was probably just going to make it worse. Felicity watched Oliver clean up his coat, taking his coffee mug from him unasked, so he had both hands free. He shot her a brief smile in response before he went back to making good use of the paper napkins.

“I am really sorry,” Felicity said once more. “I should probably pay more attention my surroundings before I get arrested for repeatedly attacking the mayor.”

“You are lucky I didn’t have my bodyguard around on either of these occasions.”

“Bodyguard?” Felicity asked with perked up eyebrows.

“There are crazy people out there trying to spill drinks on me whenever they get the opportunity to,” Oliver teased with a chuckle. “Well, if it happens again it will be hard to deny that you are doing it on purpose.”

He threw away the used napkins and took his coffee from Felicity. As their eyes met, a somewhat awkward expression spread on his face. He probably just remembered the low-key flirting and her giving him her number without him calling her. Suddenly feeling the same kind of awkwardness since he remembered it too, Felicity lowered her gaze and looked at her shoes.

“Grabbing a coffee on your way to Palmer Technologies?” Oliver asked after a moment.

“No,” Felicity replied, quickly looking up at him again. She shook her head with a smile. “No, I am actually supposed to meet with up Sara and Dinah, but either they forgot about it or they are running late. They aren’t even that late. I guess I need to get rid of the New Yorker feeling of hectic.”

Oliver smiled. “I guess it take a lot to adapt to a new city, time first and foremost.”

Felicity nodded. “Absolutely, but I think-“

When a small group of people tried to walk past them, Oliver put a gentle hand to Felicity’s elbow and led her over to the table she had been sitting at before. 

“Anyway, it was really nice to see you again, Oliver,” Felicity said, not wanting to hold him up. “Maybe one day, in the not too distant future, we will see each other for one of those Wednesday dinners that I have been told about.”

“Well, if the criminals would give Dinah and Quentin an actually a night off, that would be nice,” Oliver replied. “Or do you just want to spill a glass of red wine on me?”

“And there I thought I’d get away with it. These were just dry runs for the red wine.”

“Well, not so dry,” Oliver commented, moving his fingers over the wet coat briefly. “Quentin’s a great cook, so his food would be worth it, though. Let’s just hope the criminals give Dinah and him a moment to catch their breaths.”

Felicity chuckled. “Sometimes it sounds like they are the only detectives in the city.”

“Maybe not the only,” Oliver replied, “but probably the best.”

“They’ll be happy to hear that.”

“I am sure they know it.”

Felicity smiled and nodded, not sure what else to say. She waited with held breath and lips pressed together for him to say something. When he glanced at his watch for a brief second, Felicity expecting him to excuse himself. Instead, he pressed his lips together and glanced at one of the free chairs.

He cleared his throat before she asked, “Can I sit down for a second?”

Felicity frowned, unsure of what exactly that was supposed to mean, but she nodded. “Okay.”

Oliver pushed the chair closest to him back and sat down on. He put his coffee to the side as if he was worried he would accidentally bump it and spill the coffee on the floor or something when that was much more Felicity’s kind of clumsiness. At least Felicity couldn’t picture something like that happening to him. Oliver looked at her for a long moment, his gaze intense. Felicity felt tempted to look away since she still felt it was kind of awkward between them. She resisted the urge and looked back at him instead.

“I owe you an apology,” he said eventually.

Felicity shook her head quickly. “No, you don’t.”

Oliver looked at her with so much certainty that Felicity just couldn’t look away. She knew he’d object to her objection, and she also knew that she wouldn’t be able to say anything against it. The firm expression in his eyes let her know that he felt he really had to apologize. She didn’t believe that he owed her an apology. What would he owe here an apology for? They had talked a little at that gala, and she had given him her number, so he could call if he needed tech help or anything else, but he hadn’t. Sure, she had been a little bit disappointed, but it had been mostly because of Sara as she had tried to convince Felicity that Oliver might want more. Well, since Sara had lost her bet that Oliver would ask her out within a week, Felicity’s first Big Belly burger in Starling City had been put on her bill. Anyway, if he really wanted to apologize, she wouldn’t stop him. She could still let him know that, in her eyes, there was nothing to apologize for.

“I do,” Oliver objected as Felicity had already thought he would. “I do owe you an apology because I said I was going to call you and I didn’t.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes, it is,” Oliver disagreed with her. “It’s… I don’t know if you have noticed, but I was a little hesitant when you gave me your number.”

“I may have noticed,” Felicity said, remembering very clearly that she had wondered why he was so hesitate as she hadn’t seen any difference between him giving her his number or her handing him her number. She frowned slightly. “What about that?”

“I was hesitant to take your number because I already knew that, if I was the one who was supposed to call, I would chicken out,” Oliver explained. “I knew I would, so I tried to convince you to let me find my sister, so I could give you my number and just hope that you’d call.”

Felicity frowned slightly, cocking her head. Yet, she gave him a smile as she told him, “Maybe the reason you didn’t call me and knew you wouldn’t call me is because you are just not ready yet.”

Oliver’s thumb rubbed against the fingertips of his other hand. As soon as Felicity caught the nervous movement and Oliver noticed her gaze on his fingers, he quickly tightened them to a fist. Felicity lifted her eyes to Oliver.

“What exactly did Sara tell you?”

Felicity pressed her lips together for a moment before she answered, “She told me about your fiancée and that she died. She might have insinuated that you haven’t seen any other women or even tried to see any other women since that happened.”

Oliver looked at her for a moment before he lowered his eyes, nodding slowly. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, unsure what to say. She barely knew Oliver, and yet she knew one of the most personal things about him.

“Look, Oliver, I don’t know you,” she said out loud eventually, “but I have, as recently as today, to be honest, really said goodbye to my mom. I have tried to move on before, and I did in some way, but it was never really right. I mean my heart was always stuck in the past.”

“And now it’s not anymore?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. It’s just been like an hour since I said goodbye, but I feel better now. I feel like I let go of the past. Of course that means I have to process a lot of things and that will probably cause pain, but the pain won’t last forever.

Oliver smiled sadly. “That sounds nice.”

“It’s a lot easier said than done,” Felicity whispered, “and I am not even sure that it will help you because, like I said before, I don’t know you at all and I have no right to suggest something like that to you or-“

“I am grateful for what you said,” Oliver interrupted her gently. “I know we have only just met, but I enjoy talking to you. I… I mean I wanted to call you. I just… It’s was the anniversary of McKenna’s death last week and I… just… I just couldn’t.”

“That’s understandable,” Felicity replied. “Really, you don’t have any reason to apologize.”

Oliver looked at her intently, looking for any doubt in her face. When Felicity just smiled at him, wordlessly assuring him of her honesty, Oliver took in a deep breath and released it. There was no denying that he was relieved, and it made Felicity’s smile widen just a little more.

“So, can I invite you to dinner now?”

“Oh.”

“I mean not now-now obviously,” Oliver hurried to say, “but some time soon. Tomorrow for example or Friday maybe?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, and she could see the second Oliver realized she was about to say no. Trying to hide his disappointment, he lowered his eyes and pushed his tongue into his cheek. Felicity screwed up a face for a brief second.

“I’m sorry, Oliver,” she hurried to say, whispering the words. “I just think with everything we just discussed, it’s obvious that you have… things to process, but that’s only natural after what happened to you. And to be honest I am not completely okay yet either. I want to make this city my home and I don’t want to risk that. I mean… maybe one day… like… when you can actually call me without feeling… whatever you were feeling. For now, I just don’t think it’s the best thing to do. I just got here, and I don’t want to lose that. I am really sorry because-”

Oliver shook his head, looking at her. “You don’t have to apologize. I absolutely understand. I am a guy that comes with heavy burdens. I probably wouldn’t want to date myself either. It was just… I just enjoy talking to you in a way that I haven’t enjoyed talking to anyone in quite some time and thought maybe… I don’t know… maybe we could talk more often.”

“Luckily, talking does not necessarily mean that we have to go out on a date,” Felicity replied. “We… could meet for a coffee since it’s a lot more casual. Just two people who’ve just gotten to know each other and might grow to become friends.”

Oliver nodded slowly like he was thinking the idea through. “Okay.”

Felicity smiled. “Here, tomorrow at three?”

“Sounds great,” Oliver replied, smiling. “Thank you.”

“No reason to thank me,” Felicity replied. “I could use some good friends if I am intend to stay in Starling City, which I do.”

“Starling City is full of nice people who would be happy to have a friend like you and I already know it after the short time we’ve known each other.”

“Well, then I hope the first good impression I made won’t get overshadowed by-“

“Hey, sorry we’re late. One of Dinah’s special friends was just about to sell drugs to a minor, so she couldn’t let it pass and-“ When Sara noticed Oliver sitting at Felicity’s table, she perked up her eyebrows. “But I guess you found better company. Hi, Ollie.”

“Hi, Sara,” Oliver replied. He shot a brief look to Felicity, sealing their meeting for coffee and talking tomorrow before he cleared his throat and got up. “I’ll leave you three to it. See you tomorrow, Felicity.”

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.”

Felicity did her best to ignore the way Sara looked back and forth between Oliver and her. Instead, she watched Oliver smile at the brunette woman that had followed Sara before he made his way to the door, before turning around lifting his coffee in a gesture of goodbye. Felicity smiled at him in response as he left.

Smiling, Felicity turned to Sara and her friend. She reached out her hand to the second of the women, saying, “Hi, I’m Felicity.”

“Dinah,” the woman replied with a smile on her own, “and congrats on hooking yourself Starling City’s second most favorite bachelor.”

“He and I are only meeting up for a coffee.”

“Well, in case you didn’t know, coffee dates are real dates,” Sara replied teasingly. She grinned amusedly when Felicity shot her a glare. “I can’t help it. I have a younger sister now. I am going to tease you just as much as Laurel always teased me.”

“Isn’t it the younger sister that tease the older ones?” Felicity asked.

“Not when it comes to dates,” Sara replied.

Felicity rolled her eyes. “It’s not a date. He’s not ready for it, and neither am I.”

“Because of your mom?”

“Hey, how about I get us some coffee?” Dinah asked, probably not wanting to get into a personal and private conversation between the sisters. “And maybe some muffins? I am starving.”

“Oh, I actually don’t have much time now since you two were so late. I have to be at work in half an hour and-“

“We will just walk you there,” Sara suggested. “So coffee and whatever pastry they have, just nothing with peanuts for Felicity. She’s allergic.”

“Alright,” Dinah replied with a smile and turned to the counter.

Meanwhile, Sara turned to Felicity. She linked her fingers with Felicity, squeezing them comfortingly. She cocked her head, looking at her with quiet intent. Felicity had told her about her plan to visit her mother's grave. It was the very reason why Sara had suggested meeting with Dinah right after that. She had been sure that Felicity would need some company after that. Sara had a lot more experience with having a sister than Felicity did, so sometimes Felicity felt like she should take notes on what a good sister did, so she could reciprocate in the future.

“So, how did it go with your mom?”

“It was…” Felicity paused, trying to find the right words. “It was painful and devastating, but it was also cathartic and everything I needed.”

Sara smiled. “You mother would have forgiven you if she had ever believed there was anything to apologize for. She always took completely responsibility and blame of what happened between you two.”

“It wasn’t her fault alone,” Felicity whispered, “and I just hope that you are right, and she would have forgiven me.”

“I have no doubts about that,” Sara promised her and wiped away the single tear that had fallen from Felicity’s eye. “Donna loved you, and she understood why you were so angry about what she did. She really did.”

Felicity took in a sniffling breath, and, immediately, Sara wrapped her arms around Felicity and pulled her into a tight hug. Felicity didn’t hesitate. She just let herself be pulled in and rested her head on Sara’s shoulder. Closing her eyes, she breathed in her sister’s perfume and let herself be comforted.

“You almost smell like my mom,” Felicity said with a chuckle that mixed with a sob.

Sara chuckled, stroking her hand over Felicity’s hair. “I have a perfume that’s similar to hers. I always used hers, so for our last Christmas together she gifted me the another one of in same series.”

Felicity smiled and frowned at the same time as she pulled back slightly and cocked her head. “My mom celebrated Christmas?”

“Yes,” Sara replied with a chuckle. “We celebrated Hanukkah with her, and she celebrated Christmas with us. We hope you will do the same.”

Felicity puckered her lips. “I know next to nothing about Christmas.”

Sara shrugged it off. “Don’t worry. We will teach you.”

“Okay.” Felicity smiled. “I guess I’ll be celebrating my first Christmas this year.”

“And Christmas is even more special because it’s also my birthday.”

“I haven’t forgotten,” Felicity replied. She frowned at Sara, cocking her head. “Did you know that in earlier times, Christians believed that people born on Christmas were actually vampires?”

Sara looked at her with an incredulous look on her face and shook her head. “Good to know that I have you to educate me on so many random things.”

Felicity smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “I like research.”

“I noticed,” Sara replied. She looked back over her shoulder, and Felicity followed her gaze to see Dinah paying for the coffees and pastries. Sara nodded in her direction. “We should go.”

Felicity nodded. “Alright.”

* * * * *

Felicity tapped her fingers on the top of her desk, reading the same sentence of a report for the umpteenth time. She shot a look at the time on her desktop and groaned when she realized that she had completely lost track of time. That happened to her way too often lately. There was just so much to work on and so much to learn.

She was thinking through what she’d have to work through for the next couple days, so she could actually take the weekend off and just relax a little. Maybe she would ask Sara and Dinah to do something together. She still hadn’t seen much of the city. It probably wouldn’t hurt having them show her around a little more, maybe even to see what the nightlife scene was in Starling City.

As Felicity got up from her chair, her phone rang. Walking to the elevator, she rummaged around in her purse to find her phone  She only shot a brief look at the display, seeing the unknown caller ID, and took the call with a frown.

“Hello?”

There was a long pause, then a breath sounding of relief. Felicity’s frown deepened slightly, a hundred scenarios running through her mind. She was stopped in the middle of the lobby of her office, the elevators in sight. Maybe some emergency had come in, and she’d have to work through the night. She didn’t know what emergency that would be or why it would-

“Felicity?”

“Yes?” Felicity was actually unsure of who she was speaking to. She knew the voice, at least she believed she did, but she really wasn’t sure. Besides, who would call her in the first place. There were only a couple of people that had her number after all. At that thought, Felicity’s frown deepened once more. “Oliver?”

“Yes, hi,” Oliver replied.

“Hi,” Felicity responded slowly. Even though he was one of the few people that knew her number, she hadn’t really believed he’d call her. They had only talked a few hours ago and agreed on meeting for a coffee tomorrow. “Did something get in the way of our coffee date tomorrow? Well, not date as in date-date, but, you know, date as in two people meeting on purpose to do something together. That kind of date.”

There was a moment of silence that had Felicity squeezing her eyes shut and mentally facepalming herself for her stupid ramble. It only lasted a short moment before Oliver released a breathy chuckle, though. Felicity felt herself blushing. At least he didn’t mind her weird moments of word vomit.

“That’s the thing,” Oliver said slowly. “I would like it to be a date-date.”

Slowly making her way over to the elevators, Felicity frowned to herself. She called for the elevator car, tightening her hand on her phone. She was unsure how to feel about that. Was she supposed to feel flattered he was interested in her, nervous given they had discussed this before or just confused?

“Oliver, we talked about that,” she said carefully.

“I know,” Oliver hurried to say. “I know, and I absolutely agreed. This afternoon, it all made sense. The longer I thought about it today, the more I realized that it wouldn’t be completely honest. I mean… I think to say that it’s love on first sight would be too much and a crush is so… teenage-like. I do think there is something there, though… Like… I don’t know… uhm…”

“Chemistry?” Felicity helped out.

“Yes,” Oliver replied relieved. “Yes, exactly. Look, Felicity, I know that I won’t be the easiest guy to date, and I am not even sure if chemistry is enough for… for whatever. I mean it could all go terribly wrong and end up in a mess, or, if we get lucky and become just friends. Still, I would like to get to know you in a way that leaves no room for wondering and that actually tells you that… well… I’d… kind of like to get to know you as more than just a friend. If that’s okay with you.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She had enjoyed talking to Oliver. She really had. She had felt comfortable around him despite barely knowing him. She had spilled two drinks on him and babbled in front of him several times. Yet, he still wanted to go out with her. Besides, he didn’t look bad. He actually looked pretty handsome.

“Thank you.”

“What?” Felicity asked.

“You said I looked handsome,” Oliver said. “I guess Mayor Handsome is handsome after all then. No euphemism.”

Felicity pressed her lips together, rolling them into her mouth. It was less from the embarrassment that took hold of her, and more from the realization of how effortlessly he managed to keep from making her more embarassed. Usually, at this point of knowing someone, she would wish for the earth to swallow her whole already.

The problem was that Oliver came with a heavy burden. A dead fiancée you hadn’t completely gotten over yet was a lot to deal with. As a friend she might be able to deal with that, but as someone who was supposed to date the person it seemed a lot more difficult. Then again what person came without any burdens? She certainly had her own. Besides, if everyone thought that way, nobody would ever date Oliver again because nobody wanted to be the first after McKenna.

“How do you feel about asking me out?” Felicity asked.

“I am nervous,” Oliver admitted, “but I feel good about it. I think it’s time for me to… to try… I think it’s time for me to find closure with what happened to McKenna and try to maybe not throw myself out there, but let myself drift out there if you know what I mean.”

Felicity closed her eyes, thinking about it. Earlier today she had decided she was ready for change and had known that she could feel change coming. She usually loved to over-analyze situations and then miss chances that had been offered to her. Maybe, for the first time in her life, she should act without thinking like Oliver seemed to have done when he had called her tonight.

“Alright,” Felicity said.

“Yes?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied with a chuckle. “Let’s give it a try.”

“Okay,” Oliver said, the disbelief audible in his voice, and Felicity couldn’t help but think that it was kind of sweet of him to react that way. “How about Friday night? I could pick you up for dinner.”

Felicity smiled, suddenly feeling her heartbeat quicken. “Alright. See you Friday.”

“See you Friday,” Oliver replied. “Oh, and Felicity?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks for giving me a chance,” he said. “I think a lot of women would have just turned their backs on me with the little you know about me and my lack of taking action these past three weeks.”

“Everyone deserves a chance,” Felicity told him, “and you had some good arguments.”

Oliver didn’t answer, but she could almost see him nodding his head with a smile on his lips and lowered his eyes. The thought made her smile.

“Goodnight, Oliver.”

“Night, Felicity.”

As she hung up and placed her phone back into her purse, Felicity smiled to herself. Maybe change was coming a lot sooner than she had thought it would.


	3. Chapter 3

Felicity looked herself up and down in the mirror for the umpteenth time. Somehow, she had managed to pin up her hair. Some soft curls framed her face. Her make-up was simple, yet alluring  look. The dress with the golden embroidery was comfortable, and she liked the color that was some shade between orange and red. The bodice was form-fitting with a V-shaped neckline that accentuated her breasts without giving away too much, and the A-line skirt did well in concealing the curve of her butt and thighs. Yet, looking at herself now, she wasn’t sure the dress had been the right decision.

“Don’t you think it’s a little too much?”

Sara grinned. “If with  _ too much _ you mean  _ too much fabric _ , I am happy to remind you that my suggestion was the black dress.”

Felicity rolled her eyes, looking at the pile of discarded clothes on her bed before looking at her sister, who was sitting right next to it. Sara was waving the black dress that had more cutouts than fabric. It had indeed been Sara’s first suggestion, while it had been the first dress Felicity had discarded with a hundred percent of certainty.

“Maybe for the fifth date.”

Sara wiggled with her eyebrows. “We are already talking about a fifth date?”

Again, Felicity just rolled her eyes. She knew Sara just wanted to rear her. Since she had always been the younger sister, finally being someone’s older sister gave her the opportunity to tease someone in all the ways Laurel had teased her during their childhood and youth. Usually Felicity would be amused because getting all the experience of being the little sister when she was already in the second half of her twenties was kind of funny, but she was too nervous to be amused tonight.

“What about this one?” Felicity asked, pulling a pink A-line dress with lace from the pile next to Sara. “It’s classy and chic without being too much. It might be the safer choice. I don’t know where we are going after all. Maybe we are just going to Big Belly’s.”

“Well, if Oliver is taking you to Big Belly’s, he deserves to see you in your best dress to feel bad. Who takes a woman out to a fast food restaurant for a first date?”

“I might have mentioned that I like burgers and milkshakes,” Felicity replied, throwing the pink dress back on the pile of clothes. “Or maybe I haven’t. I really can’t remember. I have talked so much. Maybe I mentioned it.”

Shooting a brief look at her watch, Felicity stepped back in front of the mirror. She only had another five minutes before Oliver would be there, at least if he showed up on time. She would have to decide within the next fifteen seconds if she was going to wear this dress or put on a different one. She knew she didn’t really have a choice since there was no way she could decide on a different dress to wear within the little time she still had. Still, she felt like looking herself up and down in the mirror thoroughly once more.

“You’re nervous.”

Sara’s whispered words made Felicity look back over her shoulder shortly. When she noticed the serious expression on her sister’s face, telling her she didn’t want to tease her right now, she turned around to her completely.

“Is that noticeable?”

“A little,” Sara answered generously and smiled. “Why are you so nervous?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, biting down on her bottom lip. She crossed the distance to Sara and sat down next to her. When she lifted her gaze, she found Sara’s eyes still on her. She looked at her with an encouraging smile, making Felicity sigh in defeat. She knew Sara wouldn’t let go of this, and she would probably just talk herself into being more nervous, so she might as well just tell Sara.

“I am not even sure,” Felicity replied honestly.

Sara cocked her head. “You like Ollie.”

“I haven’t known him long enough to decide that.”

“But you are attracted to him.”

A breathy chuckle escaped Felicity’s lips. “Have you seen him?”

Sara smiled. “So, if that is where the nervousness is coming from, I can assure you that you are just as attractive as he is. If you weren’t my sister, I’d totally be hitting on you.”

Felicity chuckled, appreciating Sara’s attempt to make her feel better. There was some lightness to Sara, or at least she made her feel a lightness that just continued to make Felicity forget that they hadn’t been family all their lives.

“That’s not it, though the compliment definitely boosts my ego, so thank you,” Felicity replied.  She smiled for a moment before she sighed. “It’s just that I haven’t been on a date since… forever. In college, I had a boyfriend for almost a year before I found out he was a complete ass. Then my job was always more important than any dates. I mean I had dates… every once in a while… but it never really went anywhere, and I didn’t mind.”

“But you might mind now?” Sara asked.

“Not in the… Like I said, I don’t know him enough to already say I like him so much that I want more,” Felicity explained. “I just think that the situation will probably be weird either way, won’t it? If this date goes wrong, it’s going to be weird for quite some time. If it goes great and it falls apart later on, it’s going to be hell in the worst case. I mean-“

“Maybe it’s just not going to be the worst case,” Sara told her, taking her hand. “It might not be the best case, but it doesn’t have to be the worst case, either. Just relax, Felicity, and enjoy the evening. Starling it going to be your home from now on, no matter what. Sooner or later you might make a mistake that might make things awkward. You might as well do it now.”

Felicity let Sara’s words sink in before she cocked her head at her. Sara perked up her eyebrows.

“You really have this whole big sister thing down, you know?”

“I know.” Sara smiled, stroking her hand over her hair proudly before she chuckled and added, “I might have learned that from Laurel, but don’t ever tell her.”

Felicity smiled, moving her fingers over her lips like she was zipping them. Smiling, Sara rested her head against her shoulder and squeezed her hand.

Felicity thought Sara’s words through once more, realizing how right she probably was. If Felicity was going to spend the next how many years of her life here, which was what she had planned, she’d eventually do something that would complicate things one way or the other. Admittedly, complicating things by making things weird between her and her stepdad’s friend was probably one of the last things she wanted. She had moved here because of Quentin and Sara. She didn’t want to make their lives complicated.

Sighing, Felicity realized that, in her head, she was once again five steps ahead from where she actually was. She should wait and see what happened during the dinner tonight. If they were both on the same page and agreed that maybe going out together in a dating way had been a bad idea, none of her worries were necessary.  _ Wait and see _ had never been her kind of motto, but maybe it was time to give it a try.

When the doorbell rang, Sara lifted her head off Felicity’s shoulder and shot a brief look at her watch. She whistled through her teeth.

“Right on time,” she said. “He’s definitely interested.”

Felicity smiled shyly before she took in a deep breath and grabbed her jacket and her purse. “See you late?”

“No,” Sara replied. “I promised to work the night shift. I’ll see you tomorrow and you can tell me all about the date. Dad is still working and probably won’t be home until late, so he won’t have breakfast with us and you can tell me all the details.”

“Sounds great. I guess-“ The doorbell rang again. “I guess I should go before he changes his mind.”

“He wouldn’t be worth it if a little wait was too much for him already,” Sara told her. “Have fun.”

“Thanks,” Felicity replied.

She turned around on her the balls of her feet and walked to the stairs. She was relieved Quentin wasn’t home tonight. She had mentioned going out with Oliver, but she had tried avoiding talking to him about it for longer than absolutely necessary. She went down to the front door, gathering herself and taking  another deep breath before Felicity opened the door.

Her heart skipped a beat at seeing Oliver. He was wearing a dark suit, a white shirt and a dark tie with white dots. He looked great which wasn’t exactly new to Felicity, but still hit her like it was the first time. Oliver Queen was a handsome man.

“Hey,” he said with soft voice, smiling at her.

“Hi,” Felicity replied.

They smiled at each other for a moment. Felicity could feel Oliver’s eyes skimming down her body to take her in. Goosebumps spread over her skin. When Oliver lifted his eyes back to hers, she blushed.

“You look amazing,” Oliver told her.

“Thanks,” Felicity replied. “You don’t look bad yourself.”

Oliver chuckled. “You won’t believe me, but I think I changed at least ten times, and at the end it was a hard choice between this and a grey suit with blue tie. The decision was only made because I wanted to be on time, and I had no more time to change. I arrived ten minutes early and waited in my car, but… yeah…”

Oliver cleared his throat and puckered his lips. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and lowered his eyes, shuffling his feet nervously. Felicity watched him. She pressed her lips together, rolling them into her mouth.

“Looks like I am not the only person who had trouble finding the right outfit,” she said eventually, “or who babbles.”

When Oliver lifted his gaze, he smiled at her. Felicity smiled back, feeling relieved about this relatively easy start. She had, in a crazy moment of nervousness and worst-case scenarios, wondered if maybe it would be necessary to spill a drink on him to break the ice. She felt it was a good sign that that wasn’t necessary.

“Should we?” Oliver asked and nodded to the black car parked at the curb.

“Yes, sure.” Felicity smiled and followed him to the car. On their way, she added, “Will you tell me now where you are taking me?”

Oliver smiled. “To Antonio’s. It’s a little Italian restaurant in Orchid Bay. It only opened a month or so ago, but my little sister says it creates a nice atmosphere and they serve amazing food.”

“Sounds great,” Felicity replied. “I love Italian though I doubt there is anyone who doesn’t love Italian.”

“It would be weird not to like Italian,” Oliver agreed. “I could never live without a good pasta.”

“Or bruschetta.”

“Or pizza.”

“I love pizza.”

They both chuckled at that, and, when they arrived at the car, Oliver opened the door to the passenger seat. He smiled and gestured for to get inside. Smiling, Felicity did so, doing her best to not let the hem of her dress ride up her legs too high. When Oliver closed the door behind her, she released a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment. That had gone better than expected so far.

As soon as Felicity had been relieved about the seemingly well-going date, as quickly her excitement faded and turned back into the nervousness of before. She and Oliver both stayed quiet for most of the drive to the restaurant. Oliver’s thumbs rubbed against the steering wheel nervously, and Felicity played with the straps of her purse, unsure about what to say.

Felicity tried to remember what it had been like to go on her first date with Cooper or with the three other guys she had dated after him. She couldn’t remember, though. She had just tried to get through those dates, only agreeing to going because Iris had urged her to. It had been nice most of time, but Felicity had never really minded the details. If there had been silence, she had just thought about her work. She could always think about work.

Earlier today she had called Ray and asked for an appointment to tell him about the project she had planned to work on, a biochip that had been invented by PT last year. After some heated discussions with the people in the Applied Science Department, she felt she might have figured out a way to make it achievable. She had prepared a presentation to help her get  Ray’s approval, but he had told her that he trusted her, and she should do whatever she felt was right. If she needed more investments from him personally or any of his other companies, she should tell him. Felicity was flattered that he gave her free reighn in all of this, especially since she was so young and had just reached the top of a new company, but the part of her that wasn’t sure if she was fit for this new challenge almost wished for a little more feedback. She-

“I just realized that I have no idea what the common topics for a first date are,” Oliver interrupted the silence. “All that comes to my mind is the weather and that’s terribly boring.”

Felicity turned her head and smiled at him. “Besides, it doesn’t really allow a conversation that’s longer than five minutes because what else is there to say than that’s cold and it’s only going to get colder.”

“At least it isn’t raining?” Oliver asked with an amused grin. When he turned his head back, focusing on the traffic before them, he released a low sigh and added, “I fear I am not good at this. It’s been so long since my last first date. I am not even sure I still know how it works.”

“Usually I just babble away whenever there is silence, but I try to avoid it when I am out on dates,” Felicity explained, relieved that Oliver seemed just as nervous and tense about this as she was. “Since it scares away most people when I babble, I just think about my work. It’s like my safe place.”

Oliver smiled at that, not saying a word.

They continued the rest of their drive in more silence.

It wasn’t much longer before Oliver directed the car into a parking lot. They enter the restaurant where they were immediately greeted by the owner, who seemed to feel very honored that the mayor was paying his restaurant a visit. They shook hands and exchanged a few words before Oliver and Felicity handed the Italian man their jackets. A brunette woman with long legs in a very short dress led them to a table in the corner of the restaurant right next to the windows, so they could look out at the ocean. They ordered a bottle of white wine, and the waitress handed them their menus before she left them alone.

“So,” Oliver said, straightening up slightly, and unbuttoned the jacket of his suit. “Tell me more about your safe place.”

Felicity smiled. “I love my work.”

Oliver nodded slowly. He looked at her urgently, waiting for her to continue. Felicity wasn’t sure what more there was to say. Her safe place was her work because she loved her work. That really was all there was to say about that. She shrugged her shoulders, smiling insecurely, and Oliver chuckled in response.

“Did you always know you wanted to work with computers?”

“Absolutely,” Felicity replied. “When I was little, other kids  my age liked to play with these children laptops, I liked to take them apart and figure out how they worked. I built my first computer when I was seven.”

Oliver smiled. “Your parents must have been incredibly proud.”

Felicity chuckled. “Not really, no. My dad was impressed for eighty-three seconds before he started taking it apart and telling me about all the ways I could have improved it. Then he realized I had sneaked into his office to get some stuff I needed for the computer. He got super angry, and playtime was over all of a sudden. My mom… she tried to be happy, but I think she always wished that I would have been a normal girl, you know, the one who plays with dollhouses and Barbie.”

“Is that why you-“

Oliver stopped when the waitress returned to with the bottle of wine and two glasses. She opened the bottle and poured both of them a glass.

“Have you decided what you’d like?” she asked.

Oliver looked at Felicity with perked up eyebrows. Felicity nodded. She ordered spaghetti in oil and garlic with spicy chilies while Oliver chose the lasagna.

“So, what should we toast to?” Oliver asked, raising his glass.

Felicity smiled. “To this evening I’d suggest.”

“To this evening,” Oliver agreed.

They clinked their glasses and took a sip. The wine was delicious, and Felicity was actually glad she had something to hold onto now. She kept her fingers around the thin stem of the glass when she lifted her gaze, finding Oliver’s eyes on her.

“So, from building computers you got to the top of one of the most successful tech companies?”

“There have been some stops along the way,” Felicity replied with a smile. “MIT and New York mostly though I did get an offer from Queen Consolidated in December 2010, but yes.”

Felicity couldn’t say what it was, but for a split second Oliver’s facial expression tensed. She guessed it was the mention of his parents’ company and quickly bit her tongue.

“You worked in New York?” Oliver asked after a moment, his voice still sounding a little tense.

“Yes. I knew my mom was dating someone in Starling City, and I really didn’t want to live anywhere near her, so the other side of the country felt good to me.”

Felicity screwed up her face at her own words, lowering her eyes to the tabletop. She could feel the regret of all the time she had missed with her mother coming back to her. Who knew what would have happened if she had moved to Starling City earlier. Maybe she and her mother could have worked their problems out.

“Your mom once told me how proud she was to have a daughter who graduated college early,” Oliver whispered, breaking the silence and making Felicity look back up at him. “She said, since she was just a cocktail waitress and a single mother, she had always been scared that she wouldn’t be able to give you what you needed to open all the doors your IQ should be able to take you through. I think, rather than being disappointed that you didn’t move to Starling City earlier, she’d be incredibly proud that you managed to find your way.”

Felicity didn’t reply, feeling the words stuck in her throat. Oliver was, for the most part, a complete stranger to her. Yet, he managed to find the words that Felicity felt she needed to hear, and, because he was almost a stranger, she was much more willing to believe him. If Quentin or Sara told her things like that, she always felt like they just wanted to ease her guilt and keep her from running away again. Technically, someone you dated could have a similar motive, but for some reason Felicity didn’t feel like that.

She took a sip of her wine to wet her throat, feeling the uneasy feeling at the mention of her mother fading away. One day she might be able to work through her guilt completely and just accept what so many people had told her – that her mother had always been proud of her.

“So, what about you?” Felicity asked eventually. “Did you always want to be mayor?”

“No,” Oliver replied without hesitation and chuckled. “Honestly, if, fifteen years back, someone would have told me I would end up in local politics, I would have laughed. I probably still would have laughed ten years back... or seven.”

Felicity smiled at that. “And here I was thinking you had already rehearsed your speech for when you were elected President.”

“If I rehearsed anything, it was my speech for being voted sexiest man alive.”

“You are kidding,” Felicity said, dipping her head forward and looking at him with an incredulous face. “You did not.”

“I might not have actually rehearsed the speech,” Oliver admitted, “but I always thought and probably hoped that was the route my life was going.”

There was no way Felicity could deny that he would definitely have a chance in a competition for the sexiest man alive. He was tall and muscular and just so handsome that not even his slightly crooked nose destroyed his look, so she would actually vote for him in a competition like that. Yet, knowing he was the mayor and coming from a family who had earned billions of dollars with their company, she wouldn’t have thought Oliver’s dream would be something so… shallow. It only made him more likable.

“I’d say that’s quite the turn.”

“It is,” Oliver agreed, “and I can’t even tell you how it happened which is even weirder. It’s really was only like five year ago. I suddenly realized that I really care about this city, and that I’d be interested in doing a little more to make sure it was a safe place to live. It did happen shortly after my dad’s death, so maybe that was the reason. I… I really don’t know.”

“Well, it’s not the reasons that matter,” Felicity replied. “You decided to step up for people living here and that’s a great thing, no matter why you do it.”

Oliver smiled. “I hope so, and, surprisingly, I actually like it.”

“Which is always a good thing.” Felicity lowered her voice to a whisper when she added, “And I am really grateful you didn’t fall in love with tech or management because otherwise I probably wouldn’t be vice president at PT now.”

“You are very welcome.” Oliver chuckled, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “My father was less enthusiastic about it, but I think there was little to nothing I did that he was enthusiastic about.”

Felicity’s smile filled with sadness. “I guess I am not the only one with parent issues then.”

“Most definitely not,” Oliver replied and sighed. “My dad and I just never really got along well because we were too different, just like you and your mom. I always had a better relationship with my mom, just like my dad had a better relationship with Speedy and-“

“Speedy?” Felicity asked with a frown.

Oliver faltered for a moment like he hadn’t even realized that he had mentioned that name. He smiled then, his eyes filling with love.

“My little sister,” he answered. “Thea hates when I call her Speedy. I get that. She’s in her twenties now and actually works as my Chief of Staff, so I am sure she’d rather be called by her name and taken as an adult, but it’s just so hard to unlearn old habits.”

Felicity smiled. She guessed she was lucky that Sara and Laurel didn’t have that much to hold against her. Since they hadn’t any shared childhood memories, at least they couldn’t play that card. Sometimes Felicity wondered what it would have been like to grow up with siblings since she had always felt a little lonely, especially after her father had left. Now, as an adult, she knew that a sibling would have only made it worse. Her mother had struggled enough  working shifts to feed one child. A second one would have broken her back.

“So, how did she get the name?” Felicity asked. “Speedy I mean.”

“My former best friend, Tommy Merlyn, and I used to spend a lot of time together. When Thea was little, she always wanted to join us, so she followed us everywhere. We started calling her Speedy and it stuck.”

Felicity chuckled. “Sara always says it’s great to have a little sister.”

“Oh, it is,” Oliver agreed, “just not for pubescent teenagers.”

“I see.”

When the waitress came back with some ciabatta and three different dips, their conversation got interrupted for a moment. Felicity put her napkin on her lap. She caught a brief look at her watch, and was surprised how much time had passed already. After their troubles in the beginning, she felt they had found the right rhythm with each other, and that thought made her relax a little. She enjoyed talking to him just like she had at the gala.

“By the way,” Oliver resumed their conversation once the waitress left them alone again, and they both grabbed a piece of bread, spreading some of the dip onto them, “Tommy, that friend that I mentioned, was in a relationship with Laurel.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Laurel as in my Laurel?”

“Yes,” Oliver confirmed, nodding his head. “They were together in high school and then again later on, but it never worked out. Now Laurel is in Central City with her mother, and Tommy moved to Chicago. He got a job at a hospital there.”

“He’s a doctor?”

Oliver nodded. “He chose the responsible path before I did.”

“A responsible path,” Felicity repeated.

She took a bite from her ciabatta and sighed at the wonderful taste. She really loved Italian food. When she opened her eyes and found Oliver’s eyes on her, a smile on his face, she felt a deep blush spreading from her cheeks over her neck all the way down to her chest. If the way Oliver’s eyes lowered down, following the heat, was any indication, it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

When Oliver’s gaze lifted back to her face, their eyes locked, Felicity felt her breath catch. There was something in the way he looked at her, something in his eyes, that just took her breath away. It made goosebumps spread all over her skin.

Felicity cleared her throat. “Uhm… responsible parth? There were less reasonable plans than becoming a doctor or, in your case, a mayor before? Not that there is much that would be more responsible or even as responsible as those jobs… I mean… what would be more responsible than those jobs? Being the President maybe, but I am getting off topic, so-“

To silence her babble, Felicity pushed the rest of the ciabatta into her mouth. While she was chewing, she took another look around the restaurant. She did it more to avoid looking at Oliver than anything else. Even from the corner of her eyes she could see that he was smiling amusedly, though.

“We wanted to open a club together,” Oliver told her eventually, making her look back at him again. “Our dads weren’t happy about it, though. They threatened to take away our trust funds if we did. Since that would have gotten in the way of our plans anyway, we dropped them completely. My dad tried to involve me in the company a little bit, but… yeah… that just wasn’t my… I didn’t like it. My parents insisted that I do something, though. Since, after getting kicked out of four colleges, trying another college wasn’t an option, and I didn’t know what to do with my life, I stayed at the company and hated it.”

“Well, there are worlds between leading a club and leading a company, so I doubt anyone can blame you,” Felicity said with a sigh. “I guess your parents only wanted to protect you and tried to do what they thought was best for you, but sometimes that’s just not the best.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Sounds like you are talking from experience.”

Felicity opened her mouth, but she hesitated. It didn’t seem to go unnoticed by Oliver.

“You don’t have to talk about it-”

“No, no,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “It’s actually fine. My dad left when I was seven, and my mom always said he just left. A few years ago, I found out that she lied to me about it. He actually wanted us to go with him. She just didn’t want to. It took me a while to understand that she just wanted what was best for me since my dad probably wasn’t the man I thought he was. He was a criminal.”

“Is that why you and your mother didn’t get along so well?”

“Yeah,” Felicity said, nodding her head. She released a sigh and shook her head, changing the subject. “Anyway, I guess there is a difference between protecting your child from a life on the run and not supporting their dreams.”

Oliver grimaced slightly, cocking his head. “I might have been arrested a few times during my college time… like… for stealing a taxi or… peeing on a police car… Quentin’s car to be exact… so…”

Felicity looked at Oliver incredulously. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“I wish I was,” Oliver whispered and quickly took a gulp of his wine, “and I am not even sure why I told you that because that is not something you should know until you know more of my assets or have had a few more glasses of wine.”

“Well, in your defense, I am sure Quentin would have warned me if he thought it was necessary,” Felicity replied honestly. “Besides, your course in life at least tells me that you are not a boring, stereotypical politician.”

Oliver chuckled. “I am Mayor Handsome. There is nothing stereotypical about that.”

“Touché,” Felicity admitted, raising her class to him, before she took a sip of her wine.

They enjoyed a moment of quiet. Felicity realized how happy she actually was that she had gone on this date and not let her insecurities get in the way. She really couldn’t say the last time she had enjoyed a conversation this much.

“So, Quentin didn’t say anything when you said you were going out with me?” Oliver asked eventually.

Felicity shook her head. “No, he didn’t. I guess he did forgive you for peeing on his car.”

“It took a lot of convincing,” Oliver told her. His entire face brightened up in a way she had never seen before and he chuckled. “Really, the first time I picked up McKenna from work and Quentin saw me, it was so awkward. She-“

Oliver stopped all of a sudden, the happiness on his face fading away. Sadness took over instead, filling his eyes and spreading all over his face. He looked at Felicity with a hesitating expression on his face before he lowered his eyes. He grimaced slightly, still keeping his face down.

Felicity knew she couldn’t imagine how heartbroken he must be. She had only seen a little bit of how deep her mother’s death had dragged Quentin down. For Oliver, who was a lot younger and should have had lifetime with McKenna, it must be even worse. She doubted that a pain like that would ever go away.

“Sorry,” he whispered, barely audible.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” she promised him honestly. She gave him another moment before she cleared her throat and asked, “Did you get your tech problems at the office handled?”

Oliver looked up at her with surprise. He looked at her intently, searching for any sign that she was angry or upset over what had just happened. Felicity just looked back with a quiet smile, waiting for his answer. She wasn’t angry that he had brought up his dead fiancée or that he had stopped as soon as he had realized he was talking about her. She had never experienced losing the love of her life, so she wouldn’t judge.

“Uhm… it’s still there,” Oliver replied. “My sister has given me hell for not taking care of it.”

“How can you even spend an evening having dinner when you know your computers are failing all the time?” Felicity asked. She put her hands to her heart dramatically. “Honestly, this hurts my heart.”

Oliver smiled genuinely. “I feel like you are more shocked about that than about me peeing on Quentin’s car.”

Felicity snorted. “Really, it’s only a car. It’s not like it has feelings.”

“But  computers do?”

Felicity looked at him offendedly. “Don’t you dare doubt that, Mister. I swear you will be doing irreparable damage if you don’t accept that computers, just like humans, have feelings.”

Oliver lifted his hands. “Of course they do. How dare I doubt that?”

“I have no idea,” Felicity replied. “Only soulless people would.”

They smiled at each other. Felicity felt her stomach prickle in a way she doubted she had ever experienced before. A part of her wanted to lower her eyes or to look away, but she couldn’t. She held Oliver’s gaze, barely able to breathe. It wasn’t until the waitress served them their meals that they broke their eye contact.

“This smells delicious,” Felicity said with a smile. “It’s good to have a new restaurant to go to. I have been mostly living off Big Belly and Chinese takeout since I moved here. Sometimes I steal food from Quentin’s kitchen.”

Oliver frowned. “Don’t you cook?”

“Oh no,” Felicity chuckled, shaking her head. “I can heat up a can of soup or a frozen pizza, but that’s it.”

“Okay, now you are the one kidding me, right?” Oliver asked, dipping his head forward and looking at her incredulously.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I tried to cook some chicken-something once. I swear it was burnt outside and still frozen on the inside.”

“That is absolutely unacceptable,” he told her. “We gotta do something about that.”

Felicity cocked her head. “You want to tell me that you can cook?”

“Hey, my chicken cordon bleu is the best in the entire city.”

“I guess you are not biased at all?”

“Of course I’m not,” Oliver replied with an amused smile, “but if you don’t believe me, you can try it yourself.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Is that an invitation?”

Oliver smiled. “Maybe.”

As they started eating, Felicity smiled too. They hadn’t even taken the first bite, and yet they were already agreeing on a follow-up. She guessed she wasn’t the only one who was enjoying their date.

* * * * *

“And then?”

Oliver chuckled. “Well, my mom had to pick me up from the precinct in the middle of the night. Suffice to say that she was really pissed at me. The entire drive home she lectured me about being responsible and whatever else.”

“But she didn’t tell your dad?”

“No,” Oliver replied with a smile. “She didn’t.”

“Lucky you, I’d say.”

“Very lucky me,” Oliver agreed, nodding his head. “My dad would have probably sent me to a boarding school for the rest of high school if he had ever found out.”

Felicity frowned slightly. “If you knew that why did you risk it?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Does being a misunderstood and spoiled teenager count?”

“No,” Felicity replied amusedly. “You poor, rich kid.”

He smiled at her for a moment before he lowered his eyes, still smiling. “Yeah, I thought so.”

Felicity smiled a moment longer before she turned in her seat. Looking out the windshield into the darkness of the street she lived on; she felt the realization that it was time to end their date pulling at her heartstrings. They had been sitting in the car in front of Quentin’s house for the past thirty minutes, just continuing to chat. Neither of them had wanted to say goodbye. Yet, Felicity felt tiredness taking over now.

“Can I be honest with you?”

Perking up her eyebrows, Felicity looked at Oliver. His eyes were already on her, and he took her in intently. A content smile was playing on her lips. Smiling, Felicity mimicked his position. She turned in her seat once more, facing him. She rested her temple against the headrest of her seat.

“Sure.”

“I wasn’t sure that asking you out on a date was a good idea,” Oliver admitted. The right corner of his mouth twitched slightly. “I haven’t gone out on a date in forever, and going out with one of my friend’s daughters seemed to be a terrible idea. I just… I just couldn’t not ask you out, especially not after our last talk at Jitters. I am really glad I didn’t let my worries keep me from doing this. This evening was really amazing. I don’t think I’ve had this much fun in a long time.”

“I felt the same, about both, honestly.”

They smiled at each other for a long moment. Felicity didn’t want the evening to end just yet. She could continue talking to Oliver for hours it seemed. When a yawn escaped her, she knew it was time for bed, though.

“I should go now,” Felicity whispered.

“I’ll walk you to the door.”

They both got out of the car, the air outside feeling even colder now after sitting so long  in the warm car. Felicity crossed her arms in front of herself, protecting herself from the freezing wind. Quietly, she and Oliver walked to the door, and Felicity pulled out her keys from the depth of her purse.

“This really was a great evening,” Felicity told Oliver, turning around to him. “Thank you.”

“I have to thank you,” Oliver told her, “for giving me a second chance after I didn’t call.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “It was nothing, really. Besides, this evening only convinced me that it was the right decision.”

“Yes?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“So…” Oliver cleared his throat, and she could see from the corner of her eye that his thumbs rubbed against the other fingertips nervously. “Are we going to repeat this?”

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him. “Didn’t you promise to cook for me?”

Oliver smiled. “You’re right. I did.”

“I guess there is no way around a repetition then.”

“We will have to live with that.”

“Yes, we will,” Felicity agreed.

Silence settled between them. Felicity looked at Oliver intently, unsure of whether to just say goodbye and go inside now or to say something else. As great as talking to Oliver was, they did have to say goodnight eventually. Besides, it was just too cold to spend another half an hour out here.

Felicity opened her mouth, ready to say goodbye. Before a single word left her lips, Oliver framed her face with his hands and kissed her. Felicity needed a second to catch up on what was happening. As soon as she understood, she put her hands to his wrists, stroking her fingers over his pulse point. Oliver’s lips were incredibly soft. When he pulled her bottom lip between both of his, she sighed contently.

Their lips parted eventually, Oliver’s hands still framing her face. His thumbs rubbed over her cheekbones when he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers once more. His forehead rested against hers, their lips only a breath away from each other. It was the perfect moment after a perfect kiss.

Soon, sooner than Felicity could have really understood what was happening, she could feel him frown, though. He took a step back, his hands falling from her face. She opened her eyes, seeing he had his eyes lowered, an almost pained expression on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I… Goodnight, Felicity.”

Still not looking at her, he turned around and left. He walked right to his car, got in and drove away. Felicity stood in front of her house for another couple of seconds, watching where the lights of his car disappeared behind the next corner.

Releasing a sigh, she turned around and unlocked the door then. She took off her shoes right at the door, not wanting to wake Quentin in case he was back already. As quietly as possible, she tiptoed up the stairs. She had just made it halfway when the front door opened once more. Felicity turned around, seeing Quentin enter.

“Hey,” he said with surprise, perking up his eyebrows. “Did you just get home?”

“Yes,” Felicity replied. “I thought you were already asleep.”

Quentin snorted, closing the door and locking it up. “I wish I was. We had another case come in just when we wanted to go home. One thing led to another, and time passed more quickly than I thought was possible. I hope you had a nicer evening than I had.”

Felicity smiled. “I did.”

She thought back to what had happened mere minutes ago. It really had been a nice evening. She couldn’t deny that. It had also been confusing in a lot of ways, though.

“I don’t have to take Oliver aside and talk to him?”

Felicity chuckled. “No, absolutely not.”

“Good,” Quentin said, nodding slowly. “Good. You know, Oliver is a good guy, but he had some rough experiences. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

Felicity nodded slowly. She wasn’t hurt. She was confused about the back and forth, but she wasn’t hurt about it. She knew what Quentin meant, though. If she really and full-heartedly fell in love with Oliver, a back and forth like this could hurt her eventually. They just weren’t there, yet.

“I am sorry if this is crossing a line,” Quentin added, mistaking her silence. “I know I am not your dad and-“

“No,” Felicity replied, shaking her head. “It’s fine. I know you are just trying to look out for me. I appreciate that.”

“Okay.” Quentin smiled. “Goodnight, Felicity.”

“Night, Quentin.”

Felicity hurried up to her room. To her surprise, Felicity found her room tidied up. The discarded clothes she had left on the bed had disappeared. With a look in her wardrobe, she found all the dresses hung up there. Felicity smiled, making a mental note to thank Sara for that later. She would have just pushed everything off the bed and tried her best to smooth the folds out tomorrow. She was sure her dresses were grateful Sara had taken care of them already.

Quickly, Felicity got out of her dress and into her PJs. She washed her face, unpinned her hair  and brushed her teeth. She lay down in bed, snuggling under the blanket and closing her eyes. Yet, she couldn’t fall asleep. Her head was still spinning with thoughts, unable to find rest.

The evening really had been amazing. Oliver was not only very attractive, but he was also interesting and funny. He even got her humor, and didn’t seem to mind her babbling. She could spend hours talking to him without getting bored or feeling overly embarrassed.

The question was if Oliver was ready to date again. She didn’t want to throw herself into something head over heels only to land on her nose at the end. She didn’t want to just write Oliver off because of what he had been through either. It was a tricky situation, and Felicity wasn’t sure if she should just address that the next time she talked to Oliver… if there even would be a next time.

Felicity groaned, pulling her pillow over her head. She had hoped this evening would clear things up for her, but it almost seemed like things had gotten more complicated. She really wanted to see Oliver again, but she still wasn’t sure this could lead to anything good.

When her phone vibrated, Felicity pulled the pillow from her face and turned onto her side. She grabbed her phone from the bedside table and opened the received message. Her heart stumbled in her chest at seeing Oliver’s name on the display.

**O:** I’m sorry.

Felicity sighed. She put her phone away and laid back down. The situation was complicated, and Oliver didn’t seem like he wanted to make it any easier for her.


	4. Chapter 4

“One extra spicy burger for Sara, one chicken burger for Dinah and one burger with double cheese and extra garlic cream for our new friend Felicity,” the waitress said with a smile and placed the plates in front of the three women. “Can I do anything more for you?”

“Nope,” Sara said with a smile. “Thanks, Carly.”

“Enjoy your meal then.”

As soon as the waitress had left, Felicity grabbed her burger and said with a long sigh, “Thank God. I swear I am starving.”

“That’s probably because your breakfast was just coffee,” Sara told her and pushed some lettuce that had fallen out from between the two slices of bread into her mouth. “It’s not healthy. Besides, with how strong you drink your coffee, it will probably eat away at your stomach walls eventually.”

“Thanks for the health tips, Mom,” Felicity teased her, shooting her a look.

While Felicity was lifting her burger to her nose and breathed in the wonderful scent of beef and garlic, Sara and Dinah chuckled. Felicity ignored them and took the first bite of her burger. She hummed contently at the delicious taste. Really, she could go to Big Belly every single day, and she’d never get tired of it. She would have to roll here rather than go sooner or later, but she didn’t care. She’d roll happily.

“I really don’t know why people learn how to cook,” Felicity explained once she had swallowed her bite. “Takeout is everything people need.”

“If you block out that cooking is cheaper or healthier, sure,” Dinah replied.

Felicity smiled. “I am lucky that I don’t have to think too much about money, and I am sure my emotional health thanks me for this delicious food.”

“That’s true,” Dinah said and took a bite of her own burger.

Sara shook her head, quickly swallowing down. “No, no. Don’t take her side. She is just trying to convince herself that she doesn’t need homemade food because she doesn’t want to want Oliver’s chicken cordon bleu.”

“Right, the date,” Dinah said, turning to Felicity. “How did it go?”

“Good,” Felicity replied, “great actually. We had an amazing dinner at a great restaurant. We talked about anything and everything, and it was all really great. He even kissed me goodnight.”

Dinah nodded slowly before she perked up an eyebrow. “But?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “As soon as our lips parted, he ran off.”

“And hasn’t called since?” Dinah asked.

“Nope,” Felicity replied with a sigh. “He did message me a sorry that night, but that’s it. I only heard from his sister, who called me to ask if I could come over to the mayoral office and check the tech there.”

Sara frowned, wiping the paper napkin over her mouth. “You didn’t tell me about that.”

“It only happened like half an hour ago,” Felicity replied. “I had literally just gotten up from my chair to grab my coat and my purse to come here when Gerry said City Hall wanted to talk to me. I actually thought it was Oliver, but it was Thea. She said she had enough of her brother telling her he’d find someone to take care of the problems and asked me to come by as soon as possible. I said I was just going out for lunch and would come over right after.”

Felicity had been tempted to ask someone of PT’s computer science and IT support team to take care of it. Since they were working for an IT company, she was sure they could handle an IT problem a little better than the usual IT support of public buildings, at least she hoped so. Anyway, Thea Queen had sounded like her life depended on it, or maybe it was her brother’s life since her patience with him seemed to be almost used up. Felicity hadn’t been able to say no, so once she had eaten, she would have to go to City Hall.

“How long has it been since your date?” Dinah asked.

“Ten days,” Felicity replied and shrugged her shoulders.

“You didn’t try reaching out to him either, did you?” Sara asked.

Felicity shook her head. “No, I think the ball is in his call. He left, so he has to call or text.”

“Maybe he’s just not texting back or calling because he feels embarrassed,” Sara said, “or maybe he feels his text was his step towards you.”

Felicity shot Sara a look and she lifted her hands in defeat, wordlessly admitting that maybe she was trying to reach a little bit too much here. She turned her attention back to her burger, taking another bite. Felicity did the same.

She had thought about calling him three days ago. She had decided against it, though, and not because she wanted to play a stupid game of who gave up first. This was a bigger thing. She hadn’t been sure Oliver was ready for a date when she had agreed to turn their coffee between friends into a dinner date, but she had pushed these worries aside because she hadn’t known him well enough to really know that. She had wanted to give him a chance, and she had. Oliver had used it well for ninety-nine percent of the time. If it hadn’t been for how quickly he had run away after their kiss, his two-word text and the lack of contact since, it would have been the perfect date.

“So, apart from running off and not calling since, it went well?”

“Yes, sure,” Felicity replied and nodded. She picked at the last bits of her burger halfheartedly before she wiped her mouth with the paper napkin and pushed the plate aside. When she looked up from the table, ready to change the subject, she noticed Dinah’s eyes on her as they scrutinized her thoroughly. Felicity frowned. “What?”

“What are you going to do now?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Wait and see, which I am not really good at, so… who knows?”

Dinah nodded slowly before she cleared her throat and said, “You know, before I came to Starling City, I worked undercover for the police in Central City. My partner, Vinnie, wasn’t just my partner undercover, he was also my partner in real life. We weren’t married or even engaged, but he was the first and only guy I could see getting married to eventually. He died.”

Felicity stared at Dinah for a moment before she shot a brief look to Sara. If the expression on her stepsister’s face was any indication, she hadn’t known about this either.

“I’m so sorry,” Felicity whispered.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Sara asked her.

Dinah shrugged her shoulders, focusing on her glass of lemonade in front of her. She scratched the nail of her thumb over a little stain on the glass, avoiding her friends’ eyes. After a moment she looked up and looked at Felicity and then at Sara, who put her hand over Dinah’s and squeezed it comfortingly.

“I don’t like talking about it, not because I haven’t worked through it yet, but because people look at me differently. It’s part of the reason why I moved away from Central City. When, after three years, everyone still looked at me like I was about to burst into tears anytime someone brought Vinnie. I knew it was time to move away and start new where I wouldn’t be reduced to be the detective with the dead boyfriend and partner.”

Felicity nodded slowly though she felt a stitch of regret and guilt in her heart. “You think that is what I am doing with Oliver?”

“What? No,” Dinah said quickly and shook her head. She reached out her free hand and covered Felicity’s. “You went out on a date with him despite knowing that you’re probably the first woman he dated since McKenna. You even went out with him though it took him a week and a gentle push to call. Really, you have been a lot more understanding than some of the guys I tried to flirt with when I decided it was time to move on. I or anyone else just needed to mention that Vinnie died, and they ran away like I was pest-ridden.”

“Men,” Sara said and rolled her eyes. “It’s why I prefer women… most of the time.”

Dinah and Felicity turned their eyes to Sara who smiled innocently, and they all laughed together. If someone could lighten the mood up in a situation like this, it was Sara.

“How hard was it to get back into dating again?” Felicity asked eventually.

Dinah looked at her and smiled quietly, shrugging her shoulders. “It was very hard, unbelievably hard even. Harder than I ever thought it could be actually which is exactly what I want to be getting at.”

“You think I am too hard on him?”

“No,” Dinah replied and smiled. “I just want to share my experience with getting back into dating again after Vinnie died if that’s okay with you.”

Felicity sucked her bottom lip between her teeth and looked at Dinah intently. She doubted that Dinah wanted to lecture her about what to do and not to do regarding Oliver. Felicity wouldn’t be ready for that, not as long as she hadn’t made up her mind about what she really wanted. Hearing about Dinah’s experience could help her understand Oliver better, though. She guessed she understood him as much as she could from her point of view, but hearing from someone who had suffered through a similar loss like Oliver might help to fill in some blanks.

“Okay,” Felicity said hesitatingly.

Dinah smiled and pulled her hand back. Sara squeezed Dinah’s hand once more before she let go of the hand she had still been holding. Dinah took a sip of her lemonade. When she looked at Felicity, she sighed.

“It took me around eighteen months after Vinnie’s death to decide that I wanted to date again, and it took another three months until I even got through a first conversation without starting to talk about my dead boyfriend and chase off whoever I was talking to,” Dinah explained. She released another sigh and shook her head. “Deciding that it was time to move on and finding the right footing in trying to date again were just two different hurdles to take.”

“But you managed to take them?”

Dinah nodded. “Once I took away the pressure I put on myself, I did, yes. Well, I also needed to find a guy who was understanding enough not to freak out when I mentioned Vinnie, but I think the fact that I didn’t freak out either helped too. We just found a way to ease ourselves into this together by finding out what I am comfortable with and what he is comfortable with. We talked a lot which helped him to know what I was thinking and feeling and helped me to find out what he was thinking and feeling, too.”

“And that helped?” Felicity asked doubtingly. “I wouldn’t even know how to start a conversation like that.”

“It took awhile before we were able to talk about these things openly too. We had to get to know each other better and trust each other more. Only then were we able to share our feelings and fears with each other,” Dinah said. “It turned out that I often felt guilty for things that didn’t bother him much, and he was always worried that I still wasn’t over Vinnie?”

“But you were?”

Felicity almost got the weird feeling like she was interrogating Dinah. If her new friend felt the same way, she didn’t let it show, though.

“I was,” she answered with a smile. “Sure, it was hard to actively move on, but I realized that I was ready. I had already fallen in love with Jonathan and, though there were moments that I felt like it was all too much and too fast and that I was doing wrong by Vinnie, with time I realized that I was just holding myself back because I thought I had to. I guess I was mostly just scared of being hurt again the way I was hurt when Vinnie died.”

Felicity nodded. What Dinah said all made perfectly sense. She just wasn’t sure what exactly she should take from that now. She had went on one date with Oliver. She felt it would be a long way until they could have what Dinah and Jonathan had had. Besides, hadn’t Dinah mentioned she had dated a few people before Jonathan? Felicity was the first Oliver dated after McKenna.

In a lot of ways, Dinah made it all sound so easy. If trust and openness were all it took, Felicity would throw all her hesitations and worries to the wind. She just wasn’t convinced that was really the case yet. She didn’t want Oliver to feel pushed or anything if he wasn’t ready. She guessed all she could do was  figure out what he wanted. Hell, it had been one date and one kiss, she thought to herself. She really shouldn’t put so much thought into it.

“What happened to that Jonathan-guy?” Sara asked, bridging the silence.

Dinah screwed up her face. “Don’t ask. After eight months, I found him cheating on me.”

Sara scrunched up her nose. “What an ass.”

“An ass who at least gave me the feeling of normality and not a feeling like I am broken and needed to be healed,” Dinah replied. “Did I mention that guy who always wanted to mediate with me, and always asked me if we wanted to call Vinnie to us together?”

Sara chuckled. “I am surprised you didn’t knock him out.”

“I was tempted, but I was almost sure he would just say I should let it all out and that would have only annoyed me more,” Dinah admitted with a sigh. “So, I just told him I wasn’t interested after the second date.”

“I wish I was on your level of self-control,” Sara said with a sigh before she looked at Felicity. “What are you going to do now?”

“Suggest a change of subject,” Felicity replied, making both her friends chuckle. “We should do things like this more often, preferably with lighter subjects to talk about, but like this.”

“Yeah, it’s nice spending a prolonged lunch break here with you,” Sara agreed. “We could also go out and party a little some time. You still have to get to know Starling City’s nightlife. I doubt it can keep up pace with New York, but I am sure it wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Oh, I have no comparison. I was barely out in New York.”

Sara cocked her head and perked up her eyebrows. “Are you kidding? You’ve were living in the city that never sleeps for years and didn’t spend at least some of that time partying?”

“Yeah, that’s just not my world,” Felicity replied, scrunching up her nose. “Iris convinced me to go out with her and a few of her friends, but I am good at working at night, so I often slept during the day and, yeah, whatever. If you want to go out, I know you won’t leave me alone until I agree to come with you.”

Sara smiled happily. “You learn quickly, sis. What about you Dinah?”

“I could use a good night out,” she agreed and nodded. She was just about to say something more when her pager beeped. With a brief look at its display she said, “Sorry, gotta go.”

“Yeah, I should probably leave too,” Felicity agreed. “I am just going to pay  for lunch and-“

“Oh, let me,” Sara suggested, waving it off. “You two just go.”

“Thanks,” Felicity and Dinah both said and, after saying their goodbyes, left.

Felicity was in no hurry to walk the few streets to City Hall. She knew she had to go there eventually which was why she had left with Dinah. Now that she was on the way, she was putting it off as long as possible. At the same time, she couldn’t get it over soon enough. It sucked.

Dinah’s words were still echoing in her head. As much as Felicity tried to not think about what Dinah had told her and what it all meant, she was unable to just turn off her head. She always thought things through until she felt she had explored every single detail. Sometimes it was difficult to deal with that even for herself.

If all the thinking about Oliver was any indication, at least Felicity could tell that she was genuinely interest in him. She was sure if she was just attracted to him, she would have stopped thinking about him the moment she had first gotten a headache from it. Yet, here she was, still trying to figure out what to do now or if she should do anything at all. It was maddening. 

Felicity stopped in front of City Hall for a few minutes, taking time to check her schedule for the rest of the week. She felt like she should stall as long as possible before going in. She got rid of the bubble gum she had started chewing on when she had left Big Belly as she was sure that smelling like garlic wasn’t going to leave the best impression, and City Hall was a great client that Palmer Tech sure wanted to keep. After all, most decisions for several public buildings, including their computer software and cyber security, were made there.

Releasing a deep sigh, Felicity figured it was time to go in there. It didn’t stop her from sending a brief prayer to heaven that she wouldn’t run into Oliver. As much as she wanted to know where they stood with each other, she really didn’t want to find out during her working hours in the middle of a public building.

During the elevator ride, Felicity quickly fixed her hair in the mirror. Thanks to the wind, several strands of hair had loosened from her high ponytail. Once that was fixed, she loosened the knot from the belt of her coat and turned to the doors that opened. Felicity hadn’t even taken a step out of the cage when a young brunette  approached her.

“Ms. Smoak?” she asked.

“Yes,” Felicity replied with a smile, reaching out her hand for her. “Hi. Sorry for being late.”

“You are not late,” the brunette replied, taking it and shaking her hand. “Thea Queen.”

Felicity had already suspected that the energetic woman was Oliver’s sister. She had recognized her voice from the phone, but even without that it was kind of obvious. There was something in her eyes, though hers were rather grey than blazing blue like her brother’s, that immediately reminded Felicity of Oliver.

“You know I am actually excited to meet you,” Thea said and looked her up and down briefly. “Ollie has mentioned that you went out on a date together. He’s been absolutely tight-lipped about the details, though. He didn’t even tell me if it went well or not. My brother just isn’t the most talkative guy, but I guess you already noticed that during your date.”

To say Felicity had absolutely no idea what exactly she should say to that was an understatement. She sucked her bottom lip between her front teeth and bit down on it, making a vague gesture that not even she herself knew what it was supposed to mean other than that she didn’t want to talk about it.

“Oh, yes, sure,” Thea hurried to say. She squeezed her eyes shut and quickly shook her head. “I’m sorry. Of course you don’t have to tell me. It’s just that it’s been forever since Ollie’s been out on a date. I was really excited when he told me, especially because I saw how excited he was, you know? My big brother doesn’t let people in easily, so hearing that he actually took your number and asked you out was a real surprise to me, a good surprise, though. Now that I met you in person, I am even more happy because you seem like a normal and, most importantly, nice person. I have hated ninety-five percent of the girls Ollie has dated. McKenna was the big exception, but…. Yeah… I guess you know the story, and Ollie hasn’t dated since, and I already thought he’d go back to the type of girl he used to date before, and I just hope he was able to show that he’s a great guy. He’s rather quiet, and some people just don’t get that. They think he’s bored or whatever. It’s a shame because they will never see the good guy he actually is.”

“Hm-hmm,” Felicity hummed, even more unsure about what to say than she had been half a minute ago. It was kind of sweet of Thea to defend her brother, but it really made the situation uncomfortable. Eventually, she cleared her throat. “You called me because of tech problems?”

“Yes,” Thea replied immediately and nodded her head. “I was surprised Ollie didn’t ask you to take care of it yet. After you talked during that gala of the police foundation, he told me you were the new Vice President of Palmer Tech and that he wanted to ask you if you could take a look at the tech-“

“He did,” Felicity interrupted her. “We just didn’t agree on an appointment or anything.”

“Well, I guess Ollie wanted to keep that card in his back pocket so he’d have a reason to call,” Thea said. “I would consider that cute if we didn’t need the help. The entire system is crashing down almost daily now, and the intranet won’t save all the data either and-“

“Which is exactly why I am here,” Felicity said, relieved that they finally got to this part of the conversation. “If you could just show me where I can work, so I can get started and fix your problems, that would be great.”

“Yes, of course,” Thea hurried to say. She nodded ahead of her and started walking. Felicity followed. “I am so sorry for bending your ear. I am sure you are in a hurry and have a thousand other things to do after this.”

“Usually, I am the one bending people’s ears, so it’s nice to know I am not the only one who can talk nonstop.”

“It’s good to know you are talkative. It probably makes Oliver being taciturn easier,” Thea said and looked back over her shoulder. “You complement each other.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue, not saying a word. If she ever talked to Oliver again, she might have to tell him that his little sister was already planning their wedding. Felicity got that she was excited that her brother, after losing his fiancée, had a date. She shouldn’t make too much out of it, though.

Thea opened a door of opal glass and held it open for Felicity, who stepped into the room after her. It was a large room. Windows on two of the walls, allowing a wonderful sight all over the south and the west of the city. The furniture was elegant, most of it made of wood, glass, leather or a combination of the three. It didn’t take much to figure that it was probably Oliver’s office.

“You can work here,” Thea explained, stepping behind the massive desk and stacking some files and papers into a pile. “I will just make some room. Ollie shouldn’t be back today, so this is probably the best place for you to work.”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind?” Felicity asked, knowing if her assistant Gerry left someone in her office to work there, she’d freak out. She had her own way of sorting things, and the thought that someone could mess up her system felt horrendous to her. “I wouldn’t mind working from somewhere else. All I need is-“

“Here’s the best place to work,” Thea promised her and carried the pile of papers to the small coffee table in the sitting area. “Is there anything you need? Any cables or passwords or-?”

“I think I’m good.” Felicity replied with a smile and stepped behind the desk. “Thanks.”

“Coffee?”

“Never going to say no to that.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Thea said with a smile and turned to the door. With the handle already in her hand, she turned around. “Felicity? Or… Ms. Smoak?”

“Felicity’s fine,” Felicity said.

“I am really happy my brother met you.”

“I think you shouldn’t put too much… passion… into that,” Felicity told her. “It was just one dinner.”

“Of course,” Thea said, her facial expression telling Felicity that she probably only realized now how excited she must have sounded. “And Felicity?”

“Yes?”

“Could you… I mean… my brother wouldn’t be happy if he knew how excited I have been, especially not if he knows I tried to share my excitement with you and…”

“If you’re not going to tell him, neither will I,” Felicity promised.

Thea smiled with relief. “Thank you.”

“Sure.”

Once Thea had left, Felicity sat down in the leather armchair behind the desk with a deep sigh. At least that would probably spare her from talking to Oliver about his little sister, and it would probably prevent things from getting even more awkward than they already had been, though, Felicity felt Thea’s excitement was hard to top. She had probably been more excited than Felicity herself, but then Felicity had been too nervous to be excited anyway.

Felicity shook her head. If she had known Sara for longer, and she had suffered a loss like that and only started dating again recently, Felicity would probably be that excited too. She always talked too much and too fast about  inappropriate things to the wrong people, too. She guessed she and Thea had that in common.

“Focus,” Felicity hissed to herself. She closed her eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath and repeated to herself, “Focus.”

As Felicity opened her eyes, her view fell on a framed photo at the edge of the desk. Oliver’s right arm was wrapped around a brunette’s waist, while their free hands were linked together on his heart, a big diamond ring shining in the light that came from the window next to them. The brunette leaned into his side as both of them were looking at each other with a smile so bright Felicity could almost feel the joy they had been feeling then infecting her now.

If that was McKenna which Felicity was sure she was, she had been unbelievably beautiful. She had  brown hair, big brown eyes and full lips. The smile probably only emphasized her beauty, and, God, they were a beautiful couple.

Felicity had seen a similar smile like that during their date only once which had been when he had talked about Thea. It hadn’t been the same smile, but it had had the exact same effect on his face, making him look younger. His eyes almost seemed to sparkle from the joy his smile told of too.

Realizing that staring at that photo was probably a weird invasion into Oliver’s privacy, she quickly looked away. She grabbed her laptop from her purse, turning it on. As soon as everything was booted up, she started typing, working her way into the system which was terribly easy. Even before she had upgraded the entire cyber security at Quentin’s house, it had been protected better than this. Really, if Oliver had something similar to an IT support department, they should find new jobs or at least consider a thorough refreshment of their skills. Security like this didn’t even deserve the name. It should be called invitation because every hobby hacker could get into this without much effort.

“So bad?”

Felicity flinched, looking up to find Thea walking towards her with a mug of coffee in her hand. She hadn’t heard her entering, too focused on her work already.

“I think saying it was bad would be too nice,” Felicity told her. She looked back at the monitor of her laptop, briefly looking through the software details for the intranet and some utility programs she guessed they needed the most here. “When was this software last updated?”

Thea shrugged her shoulders. “Ollie’s been Mayor for almost a year and a half now. I don’t think there's been any major updates during that time. We got new computers, though.”

“Hm-hmm,” Felicity hummed, nodding her head slowly. “You do know that a good hardware only works properly with a good software, right?”

Thea puckered her lips. “We have you to tell us that now, right?”

“Right.” Felicity chuckled. “I need a few hours, but I think I can get this fixed.”

“Thank God,” Thea said, releasing a relieved sigh. She put the coffee mug on the desk. “Are you going to handle that today or should we make an appointment to-“

“I don’t have any appointments for the rest of the day, so today is probably the best day possible if you don’t want to wait until next year, today is probably the only possibility.”

“Today would be great, amazing even,” Thea said. “Like I said, I doubt Ollie will come back today, and I can stay for as long as you need.”

“Good,” Felicity replied, “because I think I have to restart the whole system on all computers to update everything. It’s easier if nobody is here then because the update will take a little while and the computers can’t be used in the meantime. I’ll get this done by the end of today, though.”

“Really, I can’t tell you how grateful I am,” Thea said with an honest smile before she gestured back over her shoulder. “I’ll leave you alone, so you can work. My office is down the hallway, the third door to the right. If you need anything, just let me know. Otherwise, Ollie’s assistant is here until five if you need another coffee or whatever.”

“I’m good. Thanks,” Felicity replied.

“Alright.” Thea smiled. “See you later.”

Once Thea had left, Felicity focused back on the monitor. She rubbed her hands and got right back to her task. Since she had moved to Starling City, her job was much more focused on office things, so this was a nice distraction. It had been a while since she had been faced with a miserable system like this. It would be fun to help make it shine again.

* * * * *

“So that’s all?” Thea asked, sitting down on the edge of the desk and looking at the monitor of Felicity’s laptop. “The computers just have to start new and that’s it?”

“Well, they all have to download the updates on security and the other programs and then start new, so everyone can go right back to work tomorrow,” Felicity explained, leaning back in the chair. “It might take an hour or two, but it will fix all problems you had, so I hope that will excuse working late.”

“Hey, I’d work all through the night if it fixed the problem,” Thea told her. She shot a brief look at her watch. “It’s almost eight. If this takes at least another hour, should I order takeout or something?”

“I’m fine,” Felicity said. “I actually had Big Belly for lunch, so I think I will skip dinner.”

Thea smiled and sighed longingly. “I love Big Belly.”

“It’s the best. I could live off  nothing else for the rest of my life.”

“Absolutely,” Thea agreed. “Have you settled into life here in Starling City yet?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, nodding her head. “I think I have. It’s still all new, but Sara’s helped a lot.”

“Right,” Thea replied. “I almost forgot that you are Sara and Laurel’s stepsister. That’s so weird.”

“Weird?”

“Well, I have known them for like ever. Laurel and Ollie went to school together.”

“Yes, Oliver mentioned it,” Felicity remembered.

“Before Ollie decided to go into politics, I actually served an internship in Sara’s lab, and I did help out at the CNRI Laurel worked at, rather unwillingly I have to admit. It was ordered from the judge.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “What?”

Thea puckered her lips and shrugged her shoulders. “Wild youth. I tried to top Ollie, so I had to bring out the big guns. I mean there were no guns involved, but hard drugs. Really hard drugs actually.”

“Sounds dangerous.”

“It was,” Thea admitted, nodding her head. “Did you ever take drugs?”

“I tried pot once, but it ended badly because the pot was in brownies, and I figured out that I was allergic to nuts that way.”

“Oops.”

“Yes, that was pretty much my mom’s reaction.”

Thea chuckled. “My mom freaked out when she heard that I took drugs. They were a lot harder than pot, though, so I guess it’s not comparable.”

Felicity smiled. She was grateful that Thea was giving her company. After she had spent the entire afternoon and evening alone in Oliver’s office, preparing the upgrades and actually working on some personalized and improved features to help make it all even easier, she was glad she had someone to talk to. Her head was swirling slightly from all the codes she could still see in front of her eyes like she had just typed them.

“Hey, if you ever need some advice where to party or anything, just let me know,” Thea said after a moment of silence. “I know all the good clubs.”

“Actually Sara, Dinah and I just decided to go out one day soon,” Felicity replied. “You can come with us if you want to. You are twenty-one, right?”

“Twenty-three in January,” Thea replied, “and I’d love to. I haven’t been out to a club in a while. Most of my friends moved away to go to college and whatever else.”

“You didn’t?”

“No. I’ve just gone from one job to the next. When Ollie decided to run for mayor, I helped him with his campaign, and now I am working here. It’s a good job and-“ When Thea’s phone beeped she pulled it out of her pocket and shot a look at the display. “I’m sorry. I need to take this.”

“Sure,” Felicity replied.

Thea smiled apologetically as she walked to the door and took the call. “Walter, hi. Is everything alright?”

When the door fell shut behind Thea, Felicity smiled. Thea might be six years younger than her, but she seemed a lot more mature than most women at her age usually were. She also seemed to be quite similar to Felicity. Who knew. Maybe she was the first actual friend Felicity had made without Sara.

A yawn escaped her when she reached into her purse and checked her phone. She had three text messages from Sara, who wanted to know if she’d be home for dinner. Felicity had completely forgotten to text her, so she quickly texted her that she wouldn’t make it anytime soon because she was still at City Hall.

She was just pushing her phone back into her purse when Felicity saw movement at the door from the corner of her eye. Assuming it was Thea who had ended her call, Felicity said, “Hey, maybe you could suggest a club for-“

The moment Felicity looked up and figured out it wasn’t Thea she had seen, she stopped. Oliver seemed to be just as perplexed about seeing her here as she was at seeing him. Admittedly, he had a lot more reason to be surprised than she did given Oliver actually worked here, while she was here for the first time. Thea had said he gone for the rest of the day, so she guessed she did have a reason to be surprised after all.

Awkward silence settled between them as both of them looked at each other without saying a word. Felicity pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and just looked at him, unsure what to say. She had really hoped the next time she ran into Oliver, there would be a dozen people around them, so it wouldn’t be awkward if they didn’t talk to each other.

“Hey,” Oliver said eventually and pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants awkwardly, hunching his shoulders. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here if you wanted to talk to me. I-“

“Oh, no,” Felicity hurried to say, shaking her head. “No, I didn’t want to talk to you. I mean I came here because your sister called me to ask if I could finally take care of the tech problems. I… came here because of work. We are currently updating the entire software, so everything should work smoothly by tomorrow. The work is actually done, but I want to wait until the upgrades are downloaded and installed just in case there’s a problem… yeah… Thea was keeping me company, but she received a call, so I am here alone. She told me you wouldn’t come back, or otherwise I would have insisted on working somewhere else, but this way she persuaded me into just working from here which is obviously your office and-“

“Felicity, I’m sorry.”

Her babble ended abruptly at Oliver’s surprising apology. Felicity looked at Oliver with attentive eyes, searching for something in his face that she herself wasn’t even sure of. No matter what it was, all she found in his face was honesty mixed with guilt and insecurity. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip.

“It’s fine,” she told him, not sure if she really meant it. “It’s not that bad and-“

“It was bad.”

Again, Felicity stopped. As Oliver started approaching her slowly, Felicity got up from the leather armchair and walked around the desk. She sat down on the edge of it, looking at Oliver. He crossed the rest of the distance towards her and came to stop only the length of an arm away from her.

“It was bad,” he repeated, “and it was not okay.”

Felicity held Oliver’s gaze for just a little longer before she lowered her eyes. When Oliver took another step towards her, she looked up again. Her eyes locked with Oliver’s immediately. There was something calm in his eyes that immediately took away the nervousness Felicity had felt. For a second, his eyes flickered down to her lips, and it actually made her breath getting caught in her throat. The feeling that had spread all over her skin when he had kissed her after their date came back.

“I’m sorry I left.”

“You… said that already.”

“Right,” Oliver whispered, not looking away. “What I haven’t said but should have said is that I really enjoyed our dinner together. I enjoyed spending time with you and talking to you, and, to my own surprise, I enjoyed kissing you.”

As much as his last words made her heart stumble in her chest, much more than she was ready to admit actually, Felicity frowned slightly and cocked her head at Oliver. He seemed to be taken aback by her reaction until his words caught up to him. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.

“No, wait,” he hurried to say. “That came out wrong. I wasn’t surprised that I enjoyed kissing you because of you. I’ve actually imagined kissing you all evening. The thing is that I never thought I’d enjoy kissing anyone after-“

He stopped immediately, his eyes filling with sorrow, before he lowered his them. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants again and shuffled his feet. Even though she couldn’t see his hands, she could tell from the way the fabric of his pants moved that he was rubbing his thumbs against the other fingertips. If she had noticed one detail about him, it was that he seemed to always do that when he was nervous.

“After McKenna died?” Felicity asked in a whisper.

Oliver lifted his gaze. For a short moment, he seemed to be surprised that she knew. He quickly nodded, though, probably realizing that it was the obvious explanation.

“After McKenna…after that happened,” Oliver said after a pause, gesturing with his hand briefly, “I never wanted to date ever again. I wanted to get married to McKenna and never kiss anyone else again. When I kissed you, I suddenly realized that I wanted to do it again… and again… and again.”

There was a smile on Oliver’s lips now, and his eyes lowered down to her lips shortly once more. Felicity smiled back, feeling a pleasant warmth embracing her at his words.

“It just overwhelmed me, and I ran away,” Oliver added after a moment, his smile fading slightly. “Then I wanted to apologize, properly apologize I mean, but I just… I picked up the phone at least five times each day since our date, but I just couldn’t call. I already had to beg for a second chance after I didn’t call. Then I created this awkward moment when I talked about McKenna during the date. Now this. You’ve known me for like three weeks, but you already have to be fed up with me.”

If Felicity hadn’t been looking at Oliver already, she’d be looking at him now after what had just come out of his mouth. She took in his face, noticing the hint of fear or at least disappointment in his eyes. She angled her head to the side, shooting him a sympathetic look.

“I am not fed up with you,” Felicity told him. “I am actually… whatever is the opposite of being fed up with someone.”

“Starving for me?” Oliver asked, puckering his lips and looking at her with an expression in his eyes that left no doubt that he knew it sounded a lot like she wanted to jump him right here.

“Maybe a little less… intense.”

Felicity chuckled, and Oliver did the same. She watched him during the short moment of lightness, and smiled. It was only a moment, but the way he was amused, the way he smiled so it reached his eyes just made Felicity’s stomach tingle. When they both got serious again, and Oliver looked at her with a sigh, Felicity cleared her throat.

“I am new to this,” she said. “I mean I have not only not dated in quite some time, but I also haven’t ever dated someone with… with a dating history like that.”

Oliver nodded slowly, and Felicity was relieved he understood. It was difficult to talk about McKenna without mentioning her or the role she had had in Oliver’s life. The thought that he actually had had a fiancée felt so meaningful that she didn’t dare to say it out loud.

“It’s not easy I guess,” Oliver whispered.

“It’s not easy for either of us,” Felicity agreed with a nod of her head, “so maybe we have to… just… try to find a way… somehow.”

Oliver seemed to be more than perplexed about her words. His eyes widened slightly, his slightly ducked posture suddenly turning more attentive as he straightened up.

“You still want to try?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip and shrugged her shoulders. “If that is what you want.”

“I do,” Oliver said without hesitation. “I just didn’t think you’d be interested in giving me yet another chance. You can probably date guys who are a lot easier to date.”

“Maybe,” Felicity replied with a sigh, “but just because it might be easier, it doesn’t necessarily make it right or better. Besides, what you said about kissing me,” – she made a short pause, giving Oliver the time to nod – “I felt the same way.”

It was a big confession, but Felicity was glad she had said it. The words seemed to hover in the air around them, filling the room. Oliver’s eyes filled with softness as the corners of his lips twitched slightly, a quiet smile forming on his lips. Once she looked at his lips, she was almost unable to look away. They were full and looked just as soft as she remembered they had felt against hers.

The moment Oliver took a step towards her, Felicity lifted her gaze to his eyes, though. She found his eyes already locked on hers. His pupils were slightly enlarged, the deep blue of his eyes so intense that she felt drawn towards the color. She straightened up, her body almost pressed against his now. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her face, and felt her own breath getting caught in her throat in response. Oliver’s eyes were on her, taking in her face intently. He pulled his hands from his pockets and stroked the tips of his fingers against the inside of her wrists for a long moment before he laced his fingers with hers. They stood there like that for some time, his thumbs stroking over the back of her hands gently. It was a moment of anticipation, a moment where both of them knew they were going to kiss, but neither of them was leaning in yet. It was a quiet but pleasant moment.

“I should warn you,” Felicity whispered into the silence between them, “that I had a giant burger with extra garlic for lunch, and I did chew bubblegum on my way here, but I am not sure how helpful that was.”

Oliver puckered his lips and nodded his head before he grinned. “I take that as punishment for the last ten days.”

When Oliver finally leaned in, lowering his head to her, Felicity smiled. She straightened up onto the tips of her toes to meet him halfway. Their lips touched gently. It was a chaste kiss at first, but Oliver deepened it. Stepping just a little closer to her, he opened his lips to her with a sigh and stroked his tongue against hers gently. Felicity hummed in response, pressing herself against him more. She could feel the quick beat of his heart against her chest.

Their lips parted eventually, the need for breath growing too much to bear. Oliver brushed his lips against her just one last time before he rested his forehead against hers. Felicity kept her eyes closed, trying to prolong this moment as long as possible. It was only when Oliver pulled back a little, squeezing her hands, that she opened her eyes. Oliver was already looking at her with a smile.

“Will you go out to dinner with me again this weekend?” he asked. “I would ask you to go out to dinner with me tonight, but-“

“Ollie, Adrian is waiting for- Oh!”

Thea froze in the doorway, looking back and forth between Oliver and Felicity. Felicity wanted to take a step back from Oliver, but he squeezed her hands gently and didn’t let her back away. Even from the corner of her eye, Felicity could see Thea still looking at them.

“Sorry. What were you saying?” Felicity asked Thea, unable to keep the blush from spreading on her face.

Thea smiled amusedly for a moment before she said. “Adrian, Ollie’s deputy mayor, is waiting. He said you wanted to grab dinner and discuss the-“

“Tell him I might need another thirty minutes,” Oliver replied, still not looking away from Felicity. “I promised myself not to run away again, so…”

Felicity looked back at him and smiled for a moment. She appreciated the sentiment. After the last time he had kissed her, this felt like a big step.

“He’s going to be there in a minute,” Felicity said to Thea. “If you could just give us-”

“Yes, of course,” Thea said hurriedly and left the room.

Felicity turned back to Oliver, who immediately said, “Speedy has been bugging me about our date since we met. She’s been so excited.”

“Really?” Felicity asked. “I haven’t noticed.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes at her. “Did she say something?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing that’s worth mentioning. She loves you a lot, though.”

“I know,” Oliver replied with a smile. “She just has terrible timing, at least sometimes.”

“You have to go, though,” Felicity told him. “You are yearned for.”

Oliver chuckled. “I wouldn’t call it that. Anyway, if I had known that you were here and this would happen, I wouldn’t have suggested grabbing dinner with Adrian and would have asked you if you were-“

“Oh, I need to monitor the updates actually,” Felicity interrupted him, “so it’s fine.”

“But you have noticed that I wanted to stay, right?”

Felicity chuckled. “I noticed, yes.”

“Good,” Oliver replied. “And I can call you, so we can decide when we can go out to dinner again?”

“Sure.” Felicity smiled. “I could call you too, though.”

Oliver smiled before he leaned in and brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss once more. He lifted his hands to frame her face.

“I think it’s my turn.” He kissed her once more and nuzzled her nose. “Can I call you tomorrow during lunch?”

Felicity nodded. “Sure.”

“Good.” Oliver kissed the corner of her lips. “I will do so.”

“Okay.”

Oliver lowered his hands to her hips. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”

Felicity smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“I swear I am not going to mess it up.”

“I know you won’t. Now go.”

“Alright,” Oliver replied with a somewhat amused smiled about her slightly bossy tone. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Talk to you tomorrow,” Felicity agreed. She straightened up onto the tip of her toes and brushed his lips against hers. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

“Goodnight, Felicity.”

With a deep sigh, he let go of her. He walked to the door before he turned around to her once more before giving a small wave. Felicity smiled, doing the same. When the door shut behind him, she sat down on the edge of the desk and sighed. Maybe it had been a good idea to come here after all. It had probably been a good idea either way. At least now she and Oliver were on the same page again.

When there was a knock at the door, Felicity replied, “Yes?”

Thea stuck her head into the room. “Is it safe to enter again? I don’t want to interrupt another moment.”

Felicity rolled her eyes slightly, chuckling at the same time though. “Come on. It’s safe. Your brother left.”

“Alright,” Thea said, entering the office again. She smiled amusedly. “So… can I put a little more hope into you and Ollie again now?”

“Let’s just wait and see,” Felicity replied.

Thea sighed. “I hate that motto.”

Felicity smiled, knowing exactly what Thea meant as she usually felt the same way too. She even did so now. She was excited for what was going to come, excited and hopeful.


	5. Chapter 5

“A quarter of a million dollars per unit,” Felicity said unbelievingly. She turned two thin panes of glass that were smaller than even the palm of her hand. The biochip between them was as tiny as the nail of her pinky, so small that it was easy to miss. “It’s hard to believe something so small could cost so much money.”

Felicity had spent two months in Starling City, and she couldn’t say how much of that time she had spent just sitting behind her desk and staring at the biochip the company had invented. She had read about it, about its production and the tests that had been necessary to get the permission on using it on people. She had also read about the tests that had followed and led to improvements until the current results, very good results actually, had been achieved.

“When Digital Equipment Corporation released the first VAX, it cost $700,000.”

Curtis Holt, one of her most dedicated and dependable employees and the head of the Design Innovations Department, shrugged his shoulders with a small smile on his lips. Before he could say anything more, he sneezed several times in a row, making Felicity wish she had some hand sanitizer. The last she needed now was to get sick.

“Except, we’re not starting a computer revolution here,” Felicity said and leaned back in her chair, her eyes still focused on the little chip. “We’re trying to repair spinal injuries. The new estimate of spinal injuries per year are at 12,000 people according to Dr. Schwartz, the specialist from Starling General. Unless everyone’s a billionaire, walking again is a luxury item.”

Curtis scrunched up his nose. “Sounds like something Mr. Dennis would say.”

“He already has,” Felicity said with a sigh. “He’s called a board meeting for Monday to discuss how many zeroes he can add to the end of that price point.”

Felicity shook her head slightly. Though Ray held a small majority of shares in his hands, there were also two other shareholders. While Mr. Forbes was an affable and nice guy, all Mr. Dennis had done was try to get the other board members to work against her, unsuccessfully so far. By now, Felicity knew that the reason Mr. Dennis was trying to make her fail was that he had suggested his nephew for the position, but Ray and the board members that were working for him had turned the suggestion down since he had wanted her in that position. That Mr. Dennis was now even trying to foil her plans of making the biochip affordable said a lot about what kind of person he was.

When Curtis sneezed again, Felicity pushed her chair back to put some distance between them. “Bless you.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

“No,” Felicity replied. “You can’t do anything with that cold. Besides, it’s late. There is nobody but us here anyway. Go home, get some rest and eat some chicken noodle soup.”

“You sound like my mother.”

Felicity smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “In that case, your mother knows what’s good.”

“Alright, Boss,” Curtis replied, nodding and lifting his hand in a short wave. “See you Monday.”

Felicity watched him leave and as she heard him sneeze again she yelled, “Better take a few days off!”

When the glass door closed behind Curtis, Felicity put the biochip into the topmost drawer of her desk and leaned back for a moment. It really was time for the weekend. After all the hurdles she had run into the last five days, she really needed some relaxation. With a brief look at her watch, she smiled, knowing the weekend would start soon and she was really looking forward to oy.

As she thought about her plans for the evening, Sara called. Felicity smiled at seeing her name on the display of her phone together with a photo they had taken when they had been a little silly after three bottles of wine. Felicity was slowly getting used to how nice it was having a sister.

“Hey,” Felicity answered her phone. “How is work?”

“Over,” Sara replied with a chuckle. “Thank God.”

Felicity chuckled. “Sounds like your day has been as terrible as mine.”

“Worse, definitely worse. I spent all day, trying to analyze the puke of an elusive criminal trying to figure out the recipe of that new drug that just hit the street. It’s the first break we’ve gotten about this substance since we heard of it. I just really wish I didn’t have to find out the formula by going through someone’s puke.”

“Did you at least succeed?”

“Not yet,” Sara said with a sigh. “I worked late, hoping I would make some progress today, but I haven’t gotten as far as I hoped I would. I guess I will just go in tomorrow and work on it some more. The equipment is taking care of it for now. Anyway, I hope you are already getting ready for your date?”

Felicity smiled. “Not yet, but soon.”

“Which dress did you decide on?”

“The burgundy red A-line dress with the triangle cutout in the front.”

“Hey, that was my pick.”

Felicity chuckled. “I haven’t forgotten.”

“What do you plan to do with your hair?”

“I thought I’d just leave it the way it is,” Felicity said and wrapped a strand from her high ponytail around her forefinger, “or do you think I should try fixing it?”

“No.” Sara’s answer came without hesitation and without doubt. “No, absolutely not. It’s the seventh date in only three weeks, the dinner last Wednesday not included. I think it’s legit to tone down on dressing up and everything now. Besides, if my dating experience doesn’t betray me, he will see everything that is underneath tonight, anyway.”

Felicity bit her bottom lip, moving her fingertips against the edge of her desk nervously. She had thought about spending the night with Oliver, too. She had wondered if it was going to happen tonight, but she had also wondered if it was going to happen the two last times she and Oliver had gone out for dinner, but it hadn’t. Felicity understood that maybe Oliver just needed some more time, though, and actually wondered if she really was ready for that step too. If  she was being honest though, she was the tiniest bit disappointed that it hadn’t happened yet.

Since their talk in his office about Oliver running away after their first kiss, things were going even better between them. It was almost like some of the tension and nervousness had faded since they had honestly talked about their worries and expectations. It was like deciding to ease themselves into dating had been just what they had needed to throw themselves head over heels into it. They continued to talk openly about whatever came to their minds, enjoying fun little banter as much as meaningful conversation. Their kisses had grown more heated with every new date. When they had had dinner on Thursday, they had even made out in front of her door for at least fifteen minutes before the neighbor’s dog had started barking at the disturbance of his nightly quiet. Oliver had broken away from Felicity with another kiss and left her alone in the cold air, making her want more.

“In case it wasn’t obvious, I was talking about the date ending in sex.”

“I did get that implication, thank you very much,” Felicity said. She pursed her lips. “Do you really think?”

“Well, I guess you should know better than I do. It’s your date after all.”

Felicity sighed. “I don’t know.”

“But you’d like it?”

“I… will just see what happens,” Felicity told her. “It will happen when it happens.”

“I wish I was that patient?”

Felicity faltered. “For me and Oliver to have sex?”

“No.” Sara chuckled. “For me to have sex again. I think I might just throw myself out there tonight. One of Laurel’s old friends from high school has a club opening tonight. I think I’ll go and see what the night offers me.”

Felicity smiled. “Maybe throwing yourself back in there will make you forget about Nyssa.”

“I doubt it,” Sara said with a smile, “but sitting at home and missing her won’t help either. We decided to break up for good reasons.”

“I know,” Felicity said with a comforting smile even if Sara couldn’t see it. Her sister’s last relationship hadn’t ended well since both of them had still been in love with each other, but it just hadn’t worked out. Sara missed Nyssa, but she knew that getting back together with her would only end in the same fight again and again. She needed a fresh start. “Good luck tonight.”

“Yeah, you too.”

Felicity hung up and walked over to the private bathroom that was attached to her office. She had heard a lot of sexy things had happened in that office in the past. She herself had only used the office to pee, freshen herself up or change clothes. She doubted that would ever change or that she would even use the large shower in there. It was the largest and most luxurious shower she had ever seen, but why would she take a shower in her office?

When Felicity opened the doors of the closet where she had hung the dress for the date, her eyes landed on the small black bag on of one of the shelves. She bit her lip. She had brought some great underwear, a lacy bra with matching panties in the same color as the dress, but she wasn’t sure if she should really wear it. She wanted to be prepared if it happened, but she didn’t want to overdo with everything.

Hell, when had dating become so complicated? When she had dated Cooper, she hadn’t put that much thought into it. Then again, he had deflowered her in his little dorm room during halftime of a football game or whatever pause of a sports she couldn’t remember. Maybe measuring things against the way she had done it when she had been in college, unsure of who she really was and dating someone who had turned out to be a terrible guy, wasn’t the best idea. This thing with Oliver, for some reason Felicity couldn’t understand yet, felt different and more important to her.

Yet, Felicity decided against the sexy undergarment. She changed into ones with the stripes of her favorite Wonder Woman comics printed on the panties and the cups of the bra. It was a funny underwear and unbelievingly comfortable. It was why it was her absolute favorite. Better comfortable than sexy, no matter what the outcome of this night ended up being.

* * * * *

Tapping her fingers on the top of her desk nervously, Felicity shot another brief look at her watch. It was almost eight-thirty. Oliver had told her that he had an important conference and he didn’t know how long it would take. It was why they had decided that he’d just pick her up at PT, so she could work while she was waiting for him. He had told her he’d be there at seven at the latest. Obviously, it had gotten late.

Felicity grabbed her phone and took a look at the display. There were no new messages or missed calls which didn’t surprise her much. She had been sitting at her desk with her phone right there for the past two hours now. She would have noticed if she had received any texts or calls. It was so unlike Oliver not to tell her if he was going to be late which, for a short second, made Felicity wonder if maybe something had happened to him. She discarded that thought again quickly, though.

When Felicity’s stomach grumbled from hunger, she grabbed her purse and left her office. She fetched her coat from the closet, switched off the light and left her office and headed towards the elevators. She was so hungry, if she didn’t eat soon, she’d probably get nauseated. She would just go ahead to the restaurant and text Oliver on the way. He could still join her when the conference was over.

As soon as Felicity stepped out of the elevators in the foyer of the Palmer Tech tower, the security guard at the reception desk beckoned for her to come closer. Felicity frowned, but she followed his request and approached him. She was halfway across the foyer when the man who stood at the other side of the reception desk, turned around and smiled at Felicity. It took a moment, since she had only see him in passing so far, but she eventually recognized the tall, muscular man with the broad shoulders.

“John Diggle, right?” Felicity asked directly, stopping in front of him and holding out her hand. “You’re Oliver’s bodyguard.”

“Exactly,” he replied with a smile and shook her hand. “Oliver is stuck in his conference, but he didn’t want to make you wait any longer, so he asked me to pick you up and take you to the restaurant if you were okay with that. He’ll get there as soon as he can.”

“He really didn’t have to send you,” Felicity said with a slightly insecure smile. “I am sure you have better things to do than-“

“I am actually glad I get to meet you since we have to talk about the security risk you put him at.”

Felicity’s heart stumbled in her chest. “Se- security risk?”

“You did spill several drinks on him, didn’t you?”

“Guilty.” A chuckle left her lips. “Oliver already warned me you might shoot me if I did that again, Mr. Diggle.”

“I don’t think I’d go that far, but I might have to tackle you to the ground,” he said. “And please, it’s John.”

“John,” Felicity repeated. “I’m Felicity.”

She said goodbye to the security guard and let John lead her outside. She faltered for a moment at the sight of the black limousine, but John just put an encouraging hand to her back and gently pushed her forward. They climbed into the back of the car and sank into the soft leather seats, John opposite of her.

“It’s quite the car,” Felicity said when the limousine started moving.

“Oliver doesn’t take it often,” John said. “He prefers to drive himself. When he has to go through files or whatever, he takes it. He tries to avoid it, though.”

“I think I understand why.” Felicity let her eyes wander around the spacious rear bench seats before she looked at John again. “What kind of conference is there tonight?”

“Oliver is meeting with some investors for a project. They want to back out. They were in a heated discussion when I left.”

Felicity nodded slowly. She hated to admit it, but she barely knew what Oliver did all day. He left a lot of the talking to her during their dates. She babbled about tech then, and Oliver just smiled, admitting he didn’t understand much whenever she asked him. He just liked listening to her, especially when she talked about something she loved. The thought of how much his eyes filled with love whenever she talked warmed her heart.

“So, how is Oliver as a boss?” Felicity asked John.

“Oliver is a good guy. He has a complicated life and quite  a few issues, but he’s a good guy.”

Felicity smiled sadly and nodded her head. She and Oliver still hadn’t talked about McKenna. Oliver avoided mentioning her. Whenever her name fell from his lips, he quickly changed the subject. Felicity didn’t know what to think about that.

“Oliver talks about you a lot,” John said into the quiet. “He really likes you.”

Felicity lifted her gaze to look at John’s face. He smiled at her comfortingly, nothing but honesty on his face. He truly meant what he said.

When the limousine stopped in front of the restaurant, another new one to her, John got out and opened the door for her. He reached out a hand for Felicity and helped her get out. As she straightened up, she turned around to him.

“So, are you heading home now?”

John nodded. “I have my wife and my daughter waiting for me.”

Felicity smiled. “Sounds nice.”

“It’s perfect,” John replied with a smile.

“Yeah,” Felicity whispered and reached out her hand for John to shake. “It was nice meeting you, John.”

“It was nice meeting you too.” He nodded towards the restaurant. “If Oliver doesn’t make it, tell the restaurant to put it on his tab. He knows the owner, so that’s okay. I doubt that will be necessary, though.”

Felicity was already imagining what it would feel like to sit alone in the restaurant and get a text from Oliver, saying he had to cancel. It was why it took her a moment to realize that John wasn’t looking at her or the restaurant any longer. Felicity turned around and saw Oliver standing in front of the wide glass doors, his hands pushed into the pockets of his coat. As if he had realized that he was being looked at, Oliver turned his head and looked right at Felicity. Her heart jumped into her throat, and her breathing faltered for a moment.

“Have fun, Felicity,” John whispered before he got back in the car.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Felicity started moving. She approached Oliver with fast steps, excited that he was here. As soon as she was close enough, Oliver reached out his hands and framed her face, pulling her close as he leaned down to kiss her. Their lips touched gently. The kiss was filled with longing as it had been three days since they had last seen each other. Their lips opened and their tongues met in a slow dance. Embraced in the warmth of his body and the masculine scent of his skin, Felicity realized how much she had really looked forward to seeing Oliver again tonight. They stayed like that for awhile until the grumbling of Felicity’s stomach made them pull apart, causing both of them to chuckle.

“I am sorry I made you wait so long,” Oliver told her and stroked the knuckles of his hand over her cheek gently. “I promise you the food is worth the wait.”

“Honestly, Oliver, I am so hungry I’d eat anything that was served to me right now.”

Oliver chuckled and put an arm around her shoulders, tugging her to the entrance. They handed their coats to the young guy at the reception stand and followed the hostess to their table by the window. Whenever they had gone out together, they had had wonderful tables, close to the window and yet slightly hidden. Since Oliver was often approached as mayor, no matter where he was or who he was with, she knew he felt it was a good idea to enjoy quiet evenings without interruption. They ordered some wine, and Oliver asked the waitress for an order of bread, adding, with a playful wink at Felicity, that he feared his date might starve otherwise.

“So, how did you get here so fast?” Felicity asked once the waitress had disappeared. Felicity could only hope that she’d come back soon because she’d definitely starve before her steak would arrive. “I mean you sent John to pick me up, and he mentioned that he wasn’t even sure that you would make it at all. Then you are suddenly here. What happened? John mentioned you were meeting investors who wanted to back out from whatever project you were planning.”

Oliver nodded. “Yes. I have spent months planning a project to finance and organize the building of social housing in the Glades. My family’s charity foundation supports that city project financially, and my mother convinced some of her old friends to join in too. Unfortunately, the owner of Merlyn Global now plans to build a factory on the same property. Malcolm has a lot of influence, so some investors are threatening to back out now. The project stands on uneven grown now.”

“I’m sorry,” Felicity said quietly. “You should have just texted that something got in the way. We could have postponed our date.”

“I was almost did. Right after I sent John to pick you up, the discussion got heated once more. I played with the idea of asking you to meet tomorrow instead,” Oliver said. “I just felt like with this shitty day of work the least I deserved was a good start to the weekend, and I have been looking forward to this, having dinner with you here, since I stepped into the office on Monday. If the investors won’t change their minds, I still have time to think about a solution next week.”

Felicity smiled. Her stomach actually tingled at how much Oliver had been looking forward to their date, and it had nothing to do with how hungry she was. It was just the joy that came from knowing that Oliver had been as excited about their date as she herself had been.

“So social housing?” Felicity asked and perked up her eyebrows. “What- Oh thank God.”

As soon as the waitress put the basket with mini ciabatta buns on the table, Felicity grabbed one, spread some butter on it, and bit into it with a hum. When she opened her eyes again, the waitress was gone, and Oliver was staring at her face with a quiet smile on his lips. Felicity blushed at the expression in his eyes and lowered her gaze for a brief moment.

Felicity cleared her throat. “Social housing?”

“Yes,” Oliver said. He smiled for a moment longer before he looked away like he had to gather himself. When he looked back at her again, he added, “people, especially in the Glades, have trouble paying even the lowest rent, and property moguls make it even worse. They try to buy more and more property to enhance it for other wealthy people. The poor people don’t know where to go. Since I was voted into office, I have tried my best to help these people who have little to nothing. It’s just hard to do that since the people who have the money to help, would rather enhance the property, and the people of low socio-economic status gone.”

“I am pretty sure that PT hasn’t used up their budget for charity projects this year,” Felicity said and pushed the last piece of her bun into her mouth. “With the development of the biochip the philanthropy projects have been put on the backburner, but I’m sure if I give Ray a short call, he would agree that your project is something that Palmer Tech would want to be part of. Hence, your problems with the investors would be solved, especially since Ray certainly isn’t afraid of Mr. Merlyn.”

“If Palmer Tech joins in, I do have a different problem, though,” Oliver whispered, making Felicity raise an eyebrow. He pursed his lips and crossed his arms on the edge of the tabletop before leaning closer to her. “I am really trying to portray myself in the best light possible. I can’t do that if you can’t come to my rescue.”

Felicity chuckled. “You can leave all the bread for me if that comforts you. That is all the hero I need.”

Oliver pushed the basket with the buns as well as the small plate with the butter closer to her. Chuckling, Felicity took another one and, again, sprinkled it with salt and pepper. At least by now, the most urgent of her hunger was satisfied. She felt Oliver’s eyes on her, but she tried her best to ignore him and prevent herself from blushing.

“So, did you find an apartment yet?” Oliver broke the silence eventually.

“No.” Felicity sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I tried to look at apartments to rent, but Sara takes away my tablet whenever she sees it. She hates the thought of me moving out.”

“Sure. Laurel already moved to Central City.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you enjoy living together with her?”

“It’s great,” Felicity said without hesitation. “Sara is basically my sister and best friend here in Starling City. Living with her is fun.”

“Then why do you want to move out?” Oliver asked with a frown and cocked his head. “Just take time, get to know the city better until you know where you would feel comfortable. There is still enough time to find an apartment if you should ever have your fill of living with Sara. Enjoy this time while you can.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Felicity said, scrunching up her nose. “I am already so close to giving in to Sara’s pleading to stay just a little longer.”

“You should,” Oliver told her. “Having time with siblings is unbelievably important.”

Felicity smiled. “If you say so.”

“I do say so,” Oliver said. He raised his wine glass for a toast and Felicity did the same. “To our siblings.”

Felicity smiled and clinked her glass with his. “To our siblings.”

Their eyes stayed locked over the rims of their glasses when they took a sip. Felicity’s smile widened. Yes, this felt like a good beginning to their date and to her weekend.

* * * * *

Felicity looked after the waitress who went off to grab their check. With a smile, she turned her head back to Oliver. Her heart skipped a beat when she realized that he was already looking at her. A deep blush spread on her cheeks.

“So,” she said with a quiet clearance of her throat, “dinner was delicious.”

Oliver smiled. “It’s a great restaurant.”

“You have introduced me to a lot of great restaurants lately,” Felicity replied. “Thanks for all of that and for this great evening.”

There was a moment of pause, and Felicity could almost see Oliver’s eyes narrowing down on her slightly. It wasn’t much, just a little as if he was thinking thoroughly. Felicity stayed silent, patiently waiting for him to speak. She didn’t have to wait long.

“The evening doesn’t have to end here,” Oliver said. “We could go to my place for a glass of wine. I’d like to show you where I live if you are not too tired.”

Felicity smiled. “I’d love to see where you live. All you mentioned so far is that it is a small townhouse.”

Oliver nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been living in my parents’ mansion for most of my life. I shared a dorm room with my friend Tommy in the first college I attended and then with other friends at the other colleges I went to.”

“And how did you get from a mansion to a townhouse?” Felicity asked.

“Well, it’s actually not my townhouse, at least it wasn’t at the start. It was-“

When Oliver stopped all of a sudden, Felicity frowned. It took her a moment to realize what he had trouble saying out loud. For a moment, Felicity was unsure what to say. She wasn’t sure if Oliver just couldn’t say her name because the memory of losing her still pained him too much or because he felt talking about McKenna while being on a date with her was a bad idea.

“Sorry,” Oliver whispered. He released a sigh before he lifted his gaze and added, “I am really trying to avoid talking about her, so it doesn’t get weird, but-“

Smiling comfortingly, Felicity covered his hand. Oliver fell silent, the expression in his eyes intensifying.

“You don’t have to avoid talking about her, you know?”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely.” Felicity smiled. “You and McKenna spent several years together. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t talk about that with me. Either I can deal with that, or I am just not the right girl for you. I am actually more worried when you don’t talk about her. It’s like she is the elephant in the room. Not that she is an elephant or anything. I mean I wasn’t referring to her looks. I saw the photo on your desk, so I know that she was really beautiful. To my defense, I just meant that not talking about her at all when I know how much she meant to you feels weird. Besides, I love elephants, so I-“

Oliver intertwined his fingers with hers gently and squeezed her hand soothingly. Felicity stopped, pressing her lips together and pulling them into her mouth to avoid babbling more. She’d usually be beyond embarrassed when it happened, especially when she said something remotely weird like she just had. Oliver looked at her with his eyes full of amazement like she had just given him the most philosophical speech.

“The way you deal with this part of my life and with everything really… You’re remarkable, Felicity.”

Felicity’s smile widened. She was happy Oliver felt that way. It actually made her heart skip a beat before causing it to race in her chest. Joy warmed her heart, and she felt the feelings she had for Oliver, whatever exactly they were, pulling at her heartstrings.

Felicity was just about to ask something about McKenna when Oliver lifted his gaze and looked past her. His shoulders tensed, and most of the color left his face. Felicity frowned and shot a look back over her shoulder to see what had unsettled him. She saw a brunette woman, the one she had met at her mother’s grave a while ago if Felicity wasn’t mistaken, approaching them. Just when she turned back to Oliver to ask who she was, he mumbled a “sorry”, quickly pulled his hand from her grasp and a tense smile appeared on his face as he stood.

“Anna,” he greeted the woman, took a step towards her and embraced her in a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, my neighbor and had a night out at the theater and decided to end the night with  a drink before heading home,” Anna replied with a smile. “I am surprised to see you here.”

“Uhm… yeah… well,” Oliver stammered. He put a hand to the back of his neck and scratched his fingernails through the short strands of hair there. “I was just… uhm… You remember the tech problems at City Hall I told you about? Felicity has just taken over Palmer Technologies and wants to offer tech support. She already fixed the main problem of the system. I felt the least I could do to thank her is invite her to dinner, so we can also… talk about further tech support in the future.”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip, doing her best to hide her disappointment. They had never talked about what they actually were. They had avoided labels to take away any pressure, especially given that they were both people of interest in the city, Oliver in particular. That he right out lied to, what Felicity guessed, was a friend, pretending that she was just someone he knew from work, hurt her more than she had thought it could.

Oliver shot a nervous, somewhat apologizing look to her. His fingertips were rubbing against against each other nervously. Anna looked at him for a moment before she looked at Felicity and back at Oliver. Something changed in her facial expression. It grew almost a little suspicious. It didn’t last long, though. Soon, it softened, and, with a smile, she turned around to Felicity, holding out her hand.

“Hi,” she said. “I am Anna Hall.”

“Hall?” Felicity blurted out.

She shot a short look at Oliver, who nodded his head barely visible. She wasn’t sure if it was the confirmation that she was a relative of McKenna, but Felicity just took it as such. At least it explained why Oliver had lied about their dinner, and, in Felicity’s mind, that very much excused it. Telling the mother of your dead fiancée that you had started dating again was not something that should or even could be done easily.

“Felicity Smoak,” Felicity replied, shaking the offered hand as she got up from her chair now too. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Hall.”

“Oh, please call me Anna,” she answered. “You are Donna’s daughter?”

Felicity nodded. “Yes.”

“I knew your mom, a wonderful woman with so much heart and energy,” she told her. “Just like McKenna, she was just taken from us too soon.”

“Yeah,” Felicity replied in a whisper. “Very true.”

Anna smiled at her for a moment longer before she pulled back her hand and said, “I don’t want to bother you two-“

“You are not bothering,” Oliver said quickly, shooting Felicity another brief look. “We were actually about to go, but if you want to join us or-“

“Oh, no,” Anna said quickly. “My friend is waiting for me. I just wanted to say hi when I saw you. I’ll see you soon, Oliver. Felicity, it was nice to meet you.”

Anna hugged Oliver once more, kissing his cheek. She shook Felicity’s hand then and left. Felicity looked at Oliver, who was still rubbing his fingers together. Before Felicity could say anything, though, the waitress approached them. She handed Oliver the check, and he paid. Felicity had told him more than once that she could indeed pay the check too, but he wouldn’t let her, telling her he’d pay as long as he chose the restaurant. Felicity was sure he’d find new reasons to be the one who paid for their dinner even if she choose the restaurant.

They left the restaurant quietly, walking side by side without saying a word. The tension that had taken hold of Oliver when he had seen McKenna’s mother, still hadn’t left him fully. Felicity felt sorry for him, but she didn’t know what to say or do. She figured it was best until they were out of sight of the restaurant before she said or did anything. She didn’t want to risk that Mrs. Hall saw them.

When they stepped out into the cold air, Felicity pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat. She took a few steps, just about to ask if they should catch a cab when she saw the limousine in the parking lot. As soon as he saw them, the driver got out and went to the back door, ready to open it for them.

“The limo?” Felicity asked.

“Hm?” Oliver murmured like Felicity had pulled him from deep thought. He quickly squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as if he was shaking off his thought. He nodded quickly. “Yes, I came here with the Ducati, and Charles needed to drive Thea to some party anyway, so we agreed that he’d wait here and take us home before he goes home too and- Felicity?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows, turning around to Oliver. They were just a few steps away from the limo, standing almost two feet apart, both of them with their hands pushed into the pockets of their coats.

“I am really sorry,” Oliver told her. “I tried talking to Anna about us, but I just can’t. I am all the family she still has. We are the two people who loved McKenna the most. I don’t want to hurt her and make her think that I forgot her daughter. I… I don’t think she’s ready to know that I am seeing someone that I actually have feelings for.”

Felicity smiled comfortingly. “I… was a little disappointed at the start, but that’s because I didn’t know she was McKenna’s mother. I agree with what you said. If you think she’s not ready, then there is no reason to tell her yet. We are still trying to find our footing, so let’s just wait and see what happens before telling her.”

Oliver looked at her intently, looking for any doubt or hesitation. When he saw that she meant it, he nodded slowly. He took in a deep breath, and the nervous tension seemed to leave his body when he slowly released the breath through his lips. He shot a look back over his shoulder, probably to make sure they were out of sight from the people in the restaurant. He then took a step closer to her, framed her face with his hands and stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones. The expression in his eyes was soft, a deep sadness behind the relief.

“You make everything so easy,” he whispered. “How do you do that?”

Felicity smiled, shrugging her shoulder. She pulled her hands from the pockets of her coat and wrapped them around his wrists. She smiled.

“My friend, Iris, once said that one of my superpowers is empathy, so maybe that’s just it.”

Oliver smiled, looking at her for a moment longer. Soon he angled his head forward and kissed Felicity. His lips brushed against hers gently before pressing down a little bit more. Felicity sighed contently, enjoying their kiss as long as it lasted. When Oliver pulled back, his forehead still resting against hers, she could feel his breath ghosting over her chin. Goosebumps spread all the way down her back.

“Will you come home with me despite all of this?” Oliver asked in a whisper. “Or have you had enough of me for tonight?”

Felicity smiled. She pecked his lips and pulled back enough to look at Oliver. Her body staying pressed against his, and Oliver’s hands moved down her arms, so he could wrap his arms around her waist.

“How about we go to your place, and you tell me more about McKenna?” Felicity asked. “And the time you two were together?”

Oliver frowned slightly. “Like what?”

“Like how you knew each other and things.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “There is not much to tell.”

He pecked her lips before he took hrt hand and led her to the limousine. His driver opened the door to the rear bench seats and closed it after them. Oliver laced his fingers with hers.

“If you don’t want to talk to about her, we don’t have to,” Felicity said carefully. “I don’t want to push anything or-“

“No, it’s just that… I really don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well, how did you meet?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “We went to high school together. We partied a lot with Tommy, Laurel and some other friends. She lived with her sister in Coast City for a while and went to police academy there. In 2011 she moved back to Starling City. We met again and started dating.”

Felicity bit back a grin. Men could be so unromantic when telling stories. She was sure if McKenna had told the story, there would have been a lot more details. The thought that maybe Oliver just wanted to spare her a detailed description with all the romantic moments came to Felicity’s mind, though, and she just smiled.

“And how was McKenna?”

Felicity knew she was beautiful. She had seen it in the photo. McKenna seemed to be the complete opposite type of girl, but she didn’t mind. If she compared Oliver to Cooper who was the only guy she had ever been in love with, it would be hard to find any similarities, too. Anyway, Felicity would like to know more about the woman Oliver had loved so deeply.

“She was beautiful,” Oliver said with a reverent smile. “She was smart and funny. She was just a wonderful human being in everything she did. She always supported me which was something I never really had before. She inspired me to be a better person because she was such a good person. Since she worked for the SCPD, I just knew I wanted to do something for this city, too.”

“So, you started running for mayor?”

Oliver nodded. “She never watched me to, though.”

Felicity smiled and squeezed his hand. “I am sure she would be proud.”

Oliver looked at Felicity intently for a moment. He frowned slightly when he lowered his eyes, stroking his calloused thumb over the back of her hand gently. Felicity just watched him, waiting patiently for him to speak.

“Are you sure you don’t mind talking about her?” Oliver asked. “Because I feel kind of bad for raving about her to you like that.”

Felicity cocked her head and smiled. “You don’t have to. We’ve had a handful of dates. McKenna had been your girlfriend for four years, and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her. Of course you speak highly of her. I wouldn’t expect or accept anything else.”

“You know what I enjoy so much about being with you?” Oliver asked, locking eyes with her again. “I mean apart from how beautiful and smart you are, you seem to understand me more than anyone else ever did. Since McKenna died, you’re the first person I can be myself around and the first person I feel I don’t have to hide myself from. It means a lot to me.”

Felicity smiled, touched at his words. She leaned over and kissed Oliver gently, thanking him for what he had said about her. Since she never really understood her mother and what she had been going through and given up, it meant a lot to Felicity that Oliver now thought she was an understanding person.

“Mr. Queen, we’re here,” the driver’s voice made them pull apart.

“Ready to see how I live?” Oliver asked Felicity, swiping his thumb over her bottom lip.

Felicity smiled. “I can’t wait.”

Once Oliver had helped her out of the car, they spent the next forty-five minutes exploring the beautiful, little house with a front yard, terrace and garden. Everything was beautiful. The furniture was classy, light wood and cream-colored furniture outfitted all the rooms. Everything was kept simple and cozy, a female touch dominating everything. It was a great house, something meant for a family with kids and a dog it seemed, a comfortable place to live happily and carelessly.

When they were in the half-open kitchen, Felicity moved her hands over the countertops. She didn’t know much about kitchens and even less about cooking, but it looked like the room had been renovated. While everything seemed timelessly classic in the house, the kitchen had a modern touch. At least that was what it looked like to her. When she asked Oliver about it, he confirmed that it had been the only room he had renovated since he loved cooking so much which prompted Felicity to remind him of the chicken cordon bleu he had promised to make for her. Oliver told her he hadn’t forgotten. He was just working on some new recipes that didn’t include ham. It touched Felicity that he was taking her Jewish heritage into consideration.

Ten minutes later, they ended the tour in the living room. While Oliver got them some wine, Felicity browse the shelves in the living room. When she found three photo albums, she called for Oliver and asked if she was allowed to look at them. When he agreed, she sat on the couch and started to look through one.

She and Oliver spent the rest of the night looking through one album after the other. They started with the one of his childhood, one that his mother had put together. The next had photos of different times of his life. It had been a gift given to him by Thea a few years ago Oliver had told her. The last album was one McKenna had put together for them. It held a lot of memories of the moments they had had together, small little moments just between the two of them and big moments shared with family and friends.

Oliver told her stories behind a lot of the photos. Felicity realized how much she loved listening to Oliver telling stories. She had done a lot of the talking during their dates since Oliver, just like Thea had told her, preferred to listen. In the back of her mind, Felicity wondered if she should feel scared or at least intimidated by the way Oliver talked about McKenna. Despite what she had said to Oliver, she knew there were women who would be worried if the guy they dated talked about a woman the way Oliver talked about McKenna, whether she was dead or not. To Felicity’s own surprise, she didn’t mind, though. She enjoyed how open Oliver was with her here, all barriers between them falling.

Well, the barriers not consisting of clothes at least.

Felicity didn’t mind that their night was going differently than she expected. She enjoyed how emotionally open they were to each other here, right now. It felt like a bigger step than sex could be. However, in the low light of the lamp and the candles, Felicity had noticed once more how sexy Oliver was.

It was actually one of the last thoughts she had before falling asleep in his arms right there on the couch in his living room.


	6. Chapter 6

When Felicity woke up, she stretched herself out a moment before she turned onto her stomach. She released a deep sigh, enjoying the warmth she was embraced in. Since weekends were the only days she allowed herself to sleep in, she’d enjoy every second of rest she could. With another sigh, Felicity pushed her face into her pillow to block out the light she could see even through her closed lids.

The familiar scent Felicity noticed, when she took in a deep breath, made her frown. It took her three full seconds to remembered where she knew that smell from. Once she realized it was the masculine smell of Oliver’s skin mixed with the scent of his aftershave, the memories of the previous night came back to her. She remembered their date last night and going to Oliver’s house where he had showed her photo albums and told her stories about his past. She must have fallen asleep. Oliver must have carried her to bed.

With a content sigh, Felicity turned her head and opened her eyes. Her cheeks blushed a dark red when her eyes met Oliver’s. He was lying on the other side of the bed, dressed in jeans and a dark red henley. He was turned onto his side with his head propped up onto his hand, so he could just watch her with intent eyes and a quiet smile on his lips.

“Morning,” Felicity whispered almost a little bit shyly.

“Morning,” Oliver replied, his smile widening. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a log.” Felicity stretched her arms and legs briefly, yawning full-heartedly. “What time is it?”

“Almost eleven.”

“What?”

Felicity shot up in bed, shocked. She usually had trouble sleeping until nine. She was often restless, thousands of ideas going through her head, waking her up only a few hours after sunrise. Sleeping in like this was not her style, especially not when sleeping in her dress and in someone else’s bed.

“I never sleep so long.”

Oliver chuckled and reached out a hand for her. Felicity let her gaze drift from his outheld fingers along the length of his arm to his face. Oliver’s eyes were sparkling with amusement about her reaction, but there was a calm and contentedness under it that affected Felicity easily. Smiling, she put her hand into his and let him pull her closer. With a sigh, Felicity slid closer until her chest pressed against his and her head was resting right under his chin. Oliver’s hand found the small of her back, stroking up and down there. The warmth of his hand reached through the fabric of her dress, easing the slight aching of her muscles there.

Felicity closed her eyes. It had been a while since she had last been held like this. Only now did she realize how much she had missed spending lazy mornings in bed. Even if most of the mornings she had spent being lazy in bed had been with her mom when she had been a kid, then her tablet computer when she had been in college and lately with her friend Iris in New York, lying here with Oliver was even better. She could get used to this. She could get used to this all too easily.

“Are you falling back to sleep?” Oliver asked in a whisper.

Smiling, Felicity angled her head back and looked at Oliver. “No, but I could.”

“Feel free to do so,” Oliver told her. He kissed the tip of her nose briefly. “I am glad you feel  comfortable here. I hope it was okay I carried you upstairs to bed.”

“Sure,” Felicity replied. She kissed his chest through his Henley. “I don’t mind sharing a bed with you. I mean- I wasn’t implying- I just meant you and me sleeping in the same bed is not a problem. I-“

“I slept in the guest room actually,” Oliver interrupted her rambling amusedly. “I just couldn’t watch you on the couch with your head angled to the side like that. You didn’t look comfortable, and I figured you’d at least be in pain this morning if I left you there like that, so carrying you to bed seemed a better idea. Since I didn’t want to just lie down next to you without your permission, I just went over to the guest room. I came in here like half an hour ago. I actually wanted to wake you up, but, when I saw you still fast asleep, I couldn’t. I tried not to stare at you, I wanted to stop, but I… couldn’t.”

Oliver looked at her for a moment, a shyness she hadn’t seen on him often taking over his face. When he looked away, Felicity’s smile widened. It was unbelievably sweet that he had actually slept in the guest room to give her privacy. She wouldn’t have minded if he had slept here in the same bed as herself, though.

Felicity put her hands to his cheeks and gently combed her fingertips through his short, scratchy stubble. Eventually, she angled his head back a little until Oliver’s eyes met hers again. She smiled at him comfortingly.

“Thank you for respecting me like that,” Felicity told him. “For the record, if I ever fall asleep on your couch again, you should either wake me up and kick me out or just crawl into bed with me. You shouldn’t feel forced to sleep in the guest room of your own house.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Oliver said. He tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled. “I wouldn’t mind crawling into bed with you the next time, though, at least if you are awake.”

“Sounds great,” Felicity said. She stretched herself a little, intending to kiss Oliver’s lips, but a sharp pain ripping through the back of her neck, made her hiss quietly. “Okay, just in case I should fall asleep on your couch again, feel free to get me into your bed quicker. I mean… not into your bed like into your bed, but, you know, into your bed.”

Oliver frowned slightly for a moment, probably not understanding the weird words falling from her lips – how could he? – but his eyes were still sparkling with amusement. His hands moved up her back until they found her neck. With gentle pressure he massaged the tight knot in her neck, making Felicity purr like a kitten.

“Better?” Oliver asked, his eyes intent on her.

“A little.”

The corner of Oliver’s lips twitched. “I could kiss it better.”

“You really think you can do that?” Felicity asked with a smile. “You have magical lips or something?”

“Well, I think that is up to you to decide.”

With those whispered words, Oliver leaned forward and brushed his lips against her pulse point. Felicity bit down on her bottom lip to suppress a content sigh when she closed her eyes. Oliver’s lips were soft against her tender skin, moving against it so gently that they felt like the brush of a feather. When Oliver hummed against her skin, Felicity could feel the vibrations in his chest and through his lips on the side of her neck.

“Magical lips,” Felicity sighed.

She could feel Oliver smile against her neck, and it made her smile too. Oliver peppered a path of kisses up her neck to the soft spot right under her ear. His lips took hold of her earlobe gently for a moment, the tip of his tongue touched the soft lobe. He released it only to move his lips over her cheek to the corner of her lips and kiss there again. When his nose bumped against hers playfully, Felicity opened her eyes, meeting Oliver’s intense gaze. Goosebumps spread all over her skin, a feeling of warmth embracing her in anticipation.

When their lips finally touched, Felicity released a content sigh. She slid closer to him automatically, pressing her chest so close to his that she could feel his heartbeat against her ribs. It was a pleasant feeling that she just couldn’t get enough of yet. Gently swiping his tongue over her bottom lip,. Felicity granted him entrance with a quiet sigh. The moment Oliver’s taste invaded her mouth, Felicity pulled away with a frown, though.

“Why do you taste like peppermint when I still have my morning breath?”

“Because I already brushed my teeth.”

Oliver grinned amusedly, as he turned them so he was lying on top of her. Felicity was not the slightest bit surprised that his body fit against hers perfectly. Felicity spread her legs a little to accommodate his hips. When Oliver leaned down to kiss her once more, Felicity turned her head away, so his lips landed on her cheek instead of her lips. Oliver grumbled, the sound making his chest vibrate against hers. Felicity chuckled in response and stroked her fingertips up and down Oliver’s back.

“No more kissing until I have brushed my teeth.”

Oliver grumbled again as he kissed down her chin to her neck. Felicity sighed. It was so easy to just give in and let him continue kissing her. His lips felt so soft and the ticklish, as well as scratchy, feeling of his stubble against her neck was so enjoyable that she really didn’t want him to stop. She wanted him to continue.

“Oliver,” she whispered. As much as she wanted him to continue, she knew that, if this led to more, which was a real possibility, she didn’t want to feel unpleasant because of her morning breath or not feeling refreshed. “Bathroom.”

With a little sigh, Oliver propped his head up onto his hand. The tip of his finger followed the line of her collarbones through her dress. Felicity just watched him, following the movement of his fingertip. When his gaze lifted to her eyes, Felicity smiled.

“Bathroom?” he asked.

Felicity nodded. “Please.”

“Are you going to leave once you have refreshed yourself?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No.”

Felicity smiled. It was so easy to be playful with Oliver. In moments like these, it was so easy doing anything with Oliver.

“Then I am not going to leave.”

“Good,” Oliver replied. He kissed the tip of her nose. “Then while you are in the bathroom, I’ll make breakfast.”

“Sounds like a good deal.”

“Good,” Oliver repeated. He kissed the tip of her nose once more before he rolled himself out of bed and pulled her into a standing position. He pointed to the door at his right. “Bathroom is through that door. Towels are in the cabinet next to the shower, and toothbrushes are in the topmost drawer under the sink.”

“Alright.”

“If you want to change, my wardrobe is your wardrobe,” Oliver told her. His smile widening. “Sweet, hefty or healthy?”

“Hey, we’ve been out several times now. You should be able to eliminate one of the choices.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yeah, I didn’t see you eating porridge oats with fruits and yogurt anyway. So, what’s your choice? Sweet or hefty?”

“Surprise me,” Felicity said. “Just make sure there’s-“

“-a lot of coffee,” Oliver finished her sentence. “I wouldn’t dare to offer you breakfast without coffee.”

Felicity smiled, feeling her stomach tingle at his words. She wasn’t used to having someone care for her like that. When she had been a kid, her mother had worked so much she had barely remembered to prepare a breaktime snack for her. Felicity had soon learned to take care of herself because of that, at least if it didn’t involve cooking.

“See you downstairs?”

Felicity’s smile widened. “See you downstairs.”

Oliver quickly stole a kiss from her lips before he left. She watched after him for a moment and smiled when he turned his head back over his shoulder to wink at her. Felicity stayed where she was a moment longer, just letting the feeling of how comfortable she felt in Oliver’s home, and with him, sink in once more.

After a few seconds, she turned around and stepped into the bathroom. Her jaw dropped when her eyes found her reflection in the mirror. She had expected a bedhead which she had. What she hadn’t expected was smeared remains of her makeup all over her face. While the most of her lipstick had already been gone by the time they had started the second album the rest of her makeup had still been intact then. Of course, overnight it had moved all over her face. The worst was her mascara that covered the skin around her eyes. She looked like a panda, and, though Felicity liked pandas very much, it really wasn’t a good look on her.

Felicity took care of the mess quickly. She washed her face, combed her fingers with her fingers and brushed her teeth. Since she was a little chilly, she also took off her dress and exchanged it for a green hoodie in Oliver’s wardrobe. She was so much smaller than him, that the hem of the sweatshirt almost reached her knees. She grabbed a fluffy pair of socks too and put them on instead of her tights.

On the way downstairs, Felicity rolled up the sleeves of the hoodie. She strolled into the kitchen and smiled when she saw Oliver at the stove, humming to the music that came from the radio. She didn’t get to watch him for long, though. Felicity didn’t know if he had eyes in the back of his head or just a sixth sense, but Oliver turned around not long after she stepped in the room. His eyes took her in thoroughly, his gaze drifting over his hoodie that covered her curves.

“Suits you,” Oliver said.

“Thank you very much.”

Felicity curtsied quickly in front of him, an amused smile playing on her lips. When she stepped closer, Oliver licked his lips, his eyes focusing on the movements of her hips and naked legs. She was just in his reach when his hands grabbed her hips and pulled her against him as he leaned in for a kiss as Felicity slapped his chest playfully.

“Ow,” he said, frowning at her. His hands rubbed over the right side of his chest, a pout forming on his lips. “What was that for?”

“That,” Felicity told him, “was for not telling me I looked like a panda.”

“You like pandas,” Oliver told her, tightening his arms around her, “and I like pandas too.”

Felicity puckered her lips. “I am not sure I can forgive you.”

“Oh, I have prepared a great breakfast to get back into your good graces,” Oliver told her. He changed their position, so her back was pressed to his chest. He then turned them to the pans on the stove. “I prepared champignon cheese omelets.”

“Sounds great.”

“Good enough to be forgiven?” Oliver asked, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Felicity smiled amusedly. “I can’t say that before I have tasted a bite.”

“I can fix that.” Oliver kissed the side of her neck gently as he loosened one arm from around her waist to open one of the drawers. He pulled a fork out and separated a small part of it to offer it to her. “Try it.”

Felicity took the offered fork and pushed it between her lips. As soon as her tongue received the taste of the omelet, Felicity hummed and closed her eyes. Since she couldn’t cook, she had mostly lived of fast food. With Quentin’s cooking she was already getting used to a becoming a foodie, but she’d be completely spoiled if Oliver cooked for her now too.

“So?” Oliver asked after a moment.

Felicity turned her head to look at him. “Give me the rest of that omelet and you are forgiven.”

Oliver pushed Felicity away gently, making her chuckle. He grabbed the plate next to the stove and put the first omelet on it before handing it to her. He put the other omelet onto the second plate while Felicity sat on the counter. Oliver turned off the stove and leaned back against the edge of the kitchen island, starting to eat just like Felicity did.

“You are spoiling me,” Felicity said.

“Oh, apropos spoiling” – Oliver put his plate aside to grab two mugs of coffee and handing Felicity one of them – “I didn’t forget your coffee.”

Felicity rested her plate on her thighs to take the mug from Oliver. She cupped it with both hands and lifted it her nose. Closing her eyes, she took in the wonderful scent. She took a sip, and it tasted even better than it had smelled.

“Oh my God,” Felicity said, opening her eyes and looking straight at Oliver. “Where did you buy this? I need to know. This is the best coffee I’ve ever had, I think.”

Oliver grinned and leaned back against the counter again. “Sorry, but I can’t tell you.”

“Oh… why not?”

“Because I have to keep some secrets,” Oliver said with a wink, “just in case you want to run away, at least I have the coffee to make you come back.”

“The coffee, the cooking skills and the abs.” Oliver perked up an eyebrow, making Felicity blush and add quickly, “I mean I guess there are amazing abs under that shirt. I don’t know, but I just assume from… feeling… while being pressed up against you and- yeah, I’m shutting up.”

Felicity pushed another piece of her omelet into her mouth quickly, ignoring the blush that spread on her cheeks. She looked around the room for a moment, trying to find something to talk about and distract from what she had just said.

“So, after all the dinners we’ve been on, how would you like a little more of an adventurous next date?”

Felicity perked up an eyebrow at Oliver’s question. “Define adventurous.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. We could go to a climbing park-“

“Afraid of heights.”

“-or water skiing-“

“I’m too clumsy for that.”

“-or hiking.”

“That’s a lot of moving.”

Felicity smiled with relief when Oliver chuckled at her rejections. She wasn’t very athletic, never had been. She was lucky that she could eat whatever she wanted without gaining weight. She did do a few sit-ups or whatever if she remembered, but it was more to silence her guilty conscience of not doing much for her body than anything else. She knew that Oliver loved sports, though. She could see it just by looking at him.

Shared interests and hobbies was an important thing in a relationship. So far, she and Oliver hadn’t really found anything though.

He liked sports. She hated it.

She liked computers. Oliver was at war with them.

He liked cooking. She could barely make eggs.

Felicity loved playing video games. Oliver hadn’t played any since his time in college, and, even then, he hadn’t really enjoyed them.

They shared a certain love of wine, though.

“So, what would you suggest?”

Felicity smiled. “You did offer me a private tour of the city.”

“I did,” Oliver agreed as he finished his omelet. “I am going to plan a day trip for next weekend.”

“Sounds great,” Felicity said and handed Oliver her cleared plate and fork so he could put both ub dishwasher.

“It’s going to be a good distraction when I am in Central City.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Central City?”

“Yes, I have to meet the mayor there,” Oliver told her and rolled his eyes. “Terribly boring guy, but what can I do? I have to.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Just a couple of days. My flight leaves Monday afternoon, and I’ll be back by Thursday night.” Oliver told her. “Thank God.”

Felicity smiled at him for a moment before she grabbed her mug of coffee and took a few sips. For some reason the thought of Oliver leaving town, even if just for a few days, caused a feeling of sadness to come over her. She enjoyed spending time with him.

“We should-“ Oliver stopped and turned his head to look towards the hallway, as he heard the doorbell ring. “I’ll be back in a minute. I am sure it’s just my neighbor Laura Hoffman. She such a gossip, and she probably wants to know if I have already heard that Ms. Anderson is planning to move into a retirement home by the start of the next year.”

Felicity chuckled and watched Oliver leave. As soon as she heard the front door open and Oliver greeting his neighbor with “Good morning, Laura”, she slid off the counter. With her mug of coffee between her hands, she walked over to the living room. While sipping at her coffee, she looked at the books on the shelves again. Apart from some comic books and the Harry Potter series, Felicity was surprised to find some classics there too. There was even the Odyssey which she had read at the age of fifteen.

Felicity puckered her lips. She should find more time to read. She had loved reading in her youth. Books had been the one big concurrent for computers in her life. At the young age of six, Felicity had struggled to decide whether she wanted to work with computers or rather as a reader in some publishing firm or maybe even write her own book one day. Computers had won out, mainly because she had wanted to impress her dad, but she knew it was the right decision now and-

When Felicity felt something at her waist, she gasped for breath and turned around quickly. Crashing right into Oliver, she spilled the rest of her coffee all over his chest. His hands flinched away from her waist and lifted in a gesture of innocence.

“Oh my God, Oliver,” Felicity breathed out, holding her hand to her heart. “How did you sneak up on me like that?”

“Me? Sneaking up on you?” Oliver asked incredulously. “You right out attacked me twice already today, and you’ve only been awake for like an hour. I really need to talk to John about you.”

Felicity chuckled. She placed her mug on the mantle and quickly moved her hands over Oliver’s chest as if she could wipe away the stains the coffee had left. Of course, she couldn’t. She was just lucky that his Henley was already dark, so it didn’t look too bad.

“It’s fine, Felicity.” With a chuckle, Oliver lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them before he gently pushed them away from his chest. He reached over the couch and pulled a fluffy pullover out from between the pillows. “I am just going to put on this. Not having time to tidy up at least has the advantage that I have clothes lying around everywhere.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Tidy up? And here I thought you-“

When Oliver grabbed the hem of his Henley and pulled it over his head, baring his chest, Felicity fell silent. Looking at his clothed chest as well as hugging him had given her opportunities to anticipate what was underneath the clothes. She had expected abs as well as strong shoulders and arms. What Felicity hadn’t expected was how well-toned and well-defined the muscles of his chest, shoulders and arms were. She was sure drops of water that ran down his chest would get dizzy from all the up and down.

“I don’t think drops of water can get dizzy.”

“Hm,” Felicity hummed. “Wait, what?”

She lifted her gaze to look at Oliver, who was grinning at her in amusement. Felicity pulled her lips into her mouth. She could still see Oliver’s naked chest from the rim of her visual sight. It was terribly distracting, and she felt her fingertips itch with the need to reach out and just touch him. Resisting the urge, she linked her fingers behind her back.

“What?”

Oliver’s grin widened. “You said drops of water would get dizzy running down my chest.”

Felicity chuckled nervously. “No, no, you misunderstood that.”

“Oh, I did?”

“Yeah… I mean… yeah… yeah....”

“Felicity?”

“Hm?”

“You are staring at my abs again.”

Realizing he was right, Felicity quickly squeezed her eyes shut. “Could you maybe put a shirt on?”

“I could.”

Oliver chuckled, and Felicity released a relieved sigh that soon got stuck in her throat when she felt Oliver taking a step towards her. His chest was pressed to hers and his arms wrapped around her waist. When he started trying to unlace her fingers, Felicity tightened their grip on each other. Her resistance only managed to hold him back for three seconds, though. A moment later, he had unlaced her fingers and wrapped her arms around his waist. A slightly hysterical sound fell from Felicity’s lips at the feeling of his naked skin. Quickly, Felicity bit down on her bottom lip to suppress any more sounds.

“Open your eyes, Felicity.”

Felicity shook her head, and a moment later she felt Oliver bumping his nose against hers before he rubbed his stubbled cheek against hers. His hands traveled from her back to her waist and down over her hips to her thighs. His fingertips danced along the hem of the green hoodie for a long moment as if to test if she was comfortable with this. When Felicity’s fingernails dug into his back slightly, he took that as encouragement. His fingers soon drifted a little further down her legs, his fingertips dancing over her naked skin right under the hem of the hoodie.

“I have been forced to look at all of this and made it through breakfast. I think you can look at this” – taking her hands from his back and putting them to his abs before he wrapping his arms around her waist – “for a moment.”

Felicity blinked at Oliver, looking at him with one eye open and seeing his entire face sparkle with amusement. Puckering her lips, she opened her opened her other eye, keeping her gaze straight at his face.

“You think you are incredibly attractive, right?”

“Kind of.”

Felicity chuckled, her head falling back at his open vanity. When she looked at Oliver again, her eyes finding his, Felicity fell silent. His pupils were blown wide and his lips opened slightly. Felicity’s tongue came out to wet her lips automatically. She felt her stomach tingle.

“Well, maybe that’s because you are.”

The last whispered syllable had just fallen from her lips when Oliver tightened his arms around her waist. He angled his head forward and kissed her gently. Felicity sighed, her hands moving over his abs before they traveled up his chest to his shoulders. Her fingers linked behind his neck just when their kiss deepened, their tongues touching. Felicity straightened up onto the tip of her toes. Their bodies pressed together.

There was something about the kiss and both of them being half-naked, or maybe it was all the barriers that had fallen when they had talked about Oliver’s past, including his years with McKenna, but whatever it was, that made this feel like more. Felicity could feel the shift. This wasn’t like usual kisses. This was something else, and she could feel it prickling in her core that this would grow into even more than it was already.

As Felicity pushed a hand into Oliver’s hair, scratching her fingernails over his scalp, Oliver started pulling down the zipper of the hoodie she wore. As soon as it was unzipped, he put his hand to her bare waist. He waited for a moment, making sure she wouldn’t pull away before he explored the rest of her naked skin. Felicity gasped in response, almost melting against him.

Oliver slid his hands to the back of her knees and lifted her against him. Felicity chuckled against his lips without stopping to kiss him. When Oliver sat down on the couch with her on the his lap and the hoodie slid off her shoulders, Felicity pulled back a little. Oliver’s lips were reddened and slightly swollen from kissing. She probably looked the same, she thought to herself when she swiped her thumb over Oliver’s bottom lip. He kissed it with a smile in his eyes.

“Nice underwear by the way.”

Felicity looked down at the simple bra and panties that had the scenes from Wonder Woman comic books on them. She grinned.

“I chose them because they are comfortable,” she told him with a chuckle. “I didn’t even know about your love for comic books then. If I had known this would happen, I would have chosen something different. I was torn on what to wear, but I figured it was better…”

Realizing she was about to say that she had hoped for this, Felicity fell silent quickly and pressed her lips together. Oliver just smiled and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You wanna talk about comics and your underwear now?”

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She angled her hips slightly, pressing her core to Oliver’s lap. When his fingers tightened around her hips, Felicity smiled.

“No,” she said then, “I don’t.”

“Good.” Oliver stroked his hands up her back to her shoulder blades and used his forearms to keep her against him. “Because neither do I.”

With those words, their lips met in another heated kiss. Felicity clawed her fingers into Oliver’s hair and anchored herself to him. She knew this was it. This was the moment it would finally happen. Felicity couldn’t be more grateful as it couldn’t have come more naturally. Doing this right now felt as natural as it could be. It felt right, and that was all that mattered.

* * * * *

“Do you have any idea what time it is? You never came home last night and you didn’t call, so I had no idea where you were. Do you know how worried I was? Do you know what I imagined happened to you? The city is full of crazy people and criminals. You should know that. I called all your friends to figure out where you were. I was this this close to calling the police and report you as missing. What the hell were you thinking?”

Felicity was standing in the door like she was frozen in place, still in the middle of taking off her coat. It took her a moment to process the entire rant, especially since she hadn’t ever been ranted at for coming home late. Her mother had either been sleeping or at work when Felicity had come home in the middle of the night or the next morning. Eventually, she frowned and cocked her head.

“You knew I was at dinner with Oliver, and I am pretty sure Oliver told me he texted you that I was spending the night at his house.”

“I know.” Sara grinned. “Actually, that was almost word for word what Laurel said to me when I once spent a night away. Our parents were on vacation, and they delegated the responsibility to her, so of course she was super angry at me when I didn’t show up at the agreed time.”

Felicity chuckled and took off her coat, resting it over the back of a chair. She stepped into their shared apartment and took off her shoes.

“And where have you been?”

“With a guy… or a girl… I cannot remember to be honest,” Sara told her and grinned. “Anyway, I can kind of imagine what you did last night.”

“I spent last night,” Felicity said slowly, stepping a little closer to Sara, “sleeping like a baby.”

Sara perked up her eyebrows. “After some nightly gymnastics?”

Felicity chuckled. “Nope.”

“You’re serious?”

“Yes.” Felicity chuckled once more at the expression on Sara’s face. “After dinner, we went to his place and looked at photo albums. He told me about his childhood and his time in college and McKenna.”

“Were you okay with that?” Sara asked. “It has to be weird to hear about her. It’s weird talking about exes. Talking about someone your date wanted to spend the rest of his life with has to be weird. Was it weird?”

“It wasn’t weird at all,” Felicity said, shaking her head, “and I was okay with it. I actually suggested it.”

“But I guess that ruined the mood.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I doubt we were in the right mood last night. I think we were both exhausted from work and just enjoyed being a little lazy. I was at least since I fell asleep on his couch.”

“Yeah, Oliver texted me you did.”

Sara smiled, took Felicity’s hand and pulled her over to the couch. They both fell into the cushions with a sigh.

“So, everything alright between you two?”

“Yeah.” Felicity nodded slowly, watching the expectant expression in Sara’s face. “I am not going to tell you any more.”

“Oh, come on!” Sara almost whined. “I’m needy. I could use a good erotic story.”

“Of your sister?”

Sara screwed up her face, only now realizing that. With a deep sigh, she leaned her head back on the the headrest and squeezed her eyes shut. Felicity puckered her lips and gently tugged at a strand of Sara’s hair.

“I thought you were out last night. Not successful?”

Sara blinked at her. “Does it look like I was successful?”

Felicity puckered her lips. No, she didn’t. Not saying a word, Felicity waited for Sara to tell her more, though. It took a moment before Sara blinked at Felicity once more sighed.

“I talked to a guy for almost two hours only for his fiancée to show up just when I was about to ask if he wanted to come home with me.”

Felicity screwed up her nose. “Ugh.”

“Exactly. He left right after his fiancée who stalked away. I doubt she calmed down. I was surprised she didn’t set the club on fire right there.” Sara sighed. “It was terrible.”

“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t know he was engaged.”

“I know,” Sara said, “but I think I just draw that type of person.”

Smiling comfortingly, Felicity wrapped an arm around Sara’s shoulders. “Don’t worry. We’ll find someone for you.”

Sara sighed, leaning more against Felicity. “I miss Nyssa.”

“I know.”

They sat like that in quiet, neither of them saying a word. Felicity knew how hard it was to dwell on a past relationship while, at the same time, knowing the breakup had been for the better. She had felt that way about Cooper for a long time because, though he had turned out not to be the guy she had thought he was, there had still been a part of her that had been madly in love with him. She had known they would never work together, but that hadn’t made it any easier. It was a terrible situation she certainly didn’t envy Sara for.

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door and Quentin stuck his head into the room.

“Hey,” he said. “Can I come in?”

“Sure?” Sara replied. “What’s up, Dad?”

Quentin came in and closed the door behind him, leaning back against it and watching his two daughters. The joy of having Felicity there was written all over his face, visible in his smile and his eyes.

“I just wanted to make sure you both came home safe. When I got home from work yesterday, you were both gone.”

“I was clubbing.”

“I had a date with Oliver.”

Quentin perked up his eyebrows, looking back and forth between the two of them. “How did it go?”

“Terrible,” Sara answered.

“Great,” Felicity said at the same time.

“I am sorry it didn’t go well,” he said to Sara before he turned to Felicity, “but I am glad it worked out for you.”

“Thanks,” Felicity said with a smile. “So am I.”

“I am also happy for Oliver,” Quentin added. “If, three months ago, you would have told me that he was going to date again, I wouldn’t have believed it.”

“He needed Felicity,” Sara said, smiling at Felicity.

“Yeah.” Quentin sighed. “I guess so.”

“One day you will date again too,” Sara said and smiled at her father. “Just like Oliver met Felicity unexpectedly, you will meet someone one day.”

“I don’t know.” Quentin went over to them and sat down on the couch. He sat down next to Sara with a sigh. “I had two great loves. Things with Dinah just changed, and Donna was taken from me too early. I doubt I’ll ever want to date again. The risk of falling in love and getting hurt again is just too much.”

Felicity watched Sara grasp her father’s hand, squeezing his fingers. Once more it hit her how much Quentin and her mother must have loved each other and how hard it must have been for Quentin to lose his wife. The thought that he never wanted to fall in love again, to avoid losing that love saddened her. It showed how deeply he had suffered.

Felicity thought about Oliver. She had heard in the way he had talked about McKenna yesterday how much he had loved her. They had wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, so she was sure his pain went just as deep as Quentin’s did. Oliver had opened himself to love again, so would Quentin one day. At least that was what Felicity hoped for because she was sure any woman could be happy with a love like Quentin in their lives. One day Quentin would get there. After all, Oliver had.


	7. Chapter 7

Felicity tapped her finger on the tabletop restlessly. She was shooting brief glances at her phone every now and then, willing it to ring and to show her Oliver’s smiling face on the display. Unfortunately, willpower alone was not enough for her to receive the call she was eager to get. Her phone just refused to start ringing or to show her the photo she had taken of Oliver during their sixth date.

Felicity wondered if maybe she should just call Oliver instead of waiting for him to call her. She knew he had a busy schedule in Central City, though, so she didn’t want to bother him. Besides, she was being ridiculous. After their night spent together on Friday and the wonderful sex on the couch the following morning, they had had coffee together on Sunday to see each other once more before Oliver had to leave for Central City. Oliver had left for Central City on Monday and called her as soon as he had checked into the hotel. Now it was Wednesday afternoon, barely forty-eight hours since their last phone call, and yet Felicity missed Oliver like it had been weeks since they had last talked. She shouldn’t miss him this much so early in their relationship.

Trying to distract herself, Felicity shot a look at her watch and sighed. She’d order another coffee if she hadn’t had so much already, and the day wasn’t even over. She had plans to meet up with Thea for coffee later. Felicity had thought she just wanted to talk to her about the tech support at City Hall, but Thea had stated very firmly that she just wanted to meet her privately. Felicity didn’t know what to think of that though she couldn’t deny that she liked Thea. Anyway, she should spare the last bit of caffeine for her coffee with Thea she guessed.

Automatically, her eyes drifted back to her phone, making Felicity release a frustrated sigh. She really had to find something to distract herself from missing Oliver for longer than five seconds, but with the level of caffeine her body was already working on, it was-

As soon as her phone started vibrating, Felicity grabbed it from the table. She barely noticed Oliver’s face smiling at her from the display before she answered the call.

“Yes?”

There was a moment of quiet. “That was fast.”

Felicity faltered, surprised by his response, but she soon chuckled. “Sorry, I was sitting right next to the phone.”

“Waiting for a call?”

“Kind of.”

Felicity smiled in amusement, and she could hear his own smile when he asked, “Waiting for call from  _ me _ ?”

Felicity’s smile widened. It was amazing that he knew her so well already. In the back of her mind, she wondered if maybe she should be a little bit embarrassed about being caught missing him so much so soon. It wasn’t like they were in a longtime relationship or any relationship really. She wouldn’t exactly say she was clingy, but she doubted that every guy would say the same. Oliver had never made her feel like she should be embarrassed about anything, so Felicity wouldn’t start with that now.

“Kind of.”

Holding her breath, Felicity waited for Oliver to reply. When he chuckled, Felicity released a breath of relief, glad her confession didn’t bother him.

“Good thing you were sitting right next to your phone then because I was playing with the thought of just hanging up again.”

Felicity puckered her lips. She pulled her empty coffee mug close and scratched her thumbnail against a stain of coffee on the porcelain.

“Too much to do?”

“Not right now,” Oliver replied. “I actually just got back to my hotel room, took off my shoes and fell into bed. I can’t wait to be back in Starling City tomorrow. Central City’s mayor is a terribly boring man that I can barely endure alone for one day, never mind four days. It’s always sunny here which is great for vacation, but bad for work. Everything is better in Starling City. Even Big Belly.”

“Everything is better in Starling City,” Felicity agreed. “I have only been to Central City once for a job interview at S.T.A.R. Labs, but it was enough to see that everything in Central City is terrible. Who wants sunny weather when you can have the cold, rainy days of Starling City, right?”

“Hey, could you at least agree with me about the mayor?”

“Oh, I can. I mean I only saw the mayor once, but it was enough to know he could never compete with whatever Starling City has to offer.” Felicity smiled to herself. “I am a little bit biased, though, so lucky you.”

“Lucky me,” Oliver agreed, “because otherwise you might be dating the mayor of Central City now.”

“Nah, guys around fifty years with beer bellies and a half-bald head are not my type.” Felicity scrunched up her nose and grumbled. “Good thing I moved to Starling City.”

“Good thing indeed.”

Felicity smiled to herself, glad that Oliver felt the same way she did. Admittedly, he wasn’t the only reason why Felicity was glad to have moved to Starling City. There was also her job at PT and her really great relationships with Quentin and Sara that had made moving to Starling City so worth it. Of course, she would have gotten to know Laurel better if she had moved to Central City, but she didn’t doubt that coming to Starling City being the right decision. Central City would have been nice, but Starling City was just great.

“So, why did you consider hanging up before I magically took your call and stopped you from changing your mind?”

“Well, I actually wasn’t sure what’s the usual protocol for people… people like us.”

Felicity frowned, not really understanding. “What?”

“Well, I… we… I mean…” – Felicity heard rustling at the other end of the line as Oliver tried to find a new position to relax in – “We’ve been dating for some time now. We kiss, regularly I might add. We had sex. We try to see each other as often as possible. Are we still just dating or are we together like really together? Do we have a relationship, and, if we have a relationship, does that mean that I can call you whenever I feel like it? Because I wanted to call you at least twelve times since Monday. I just wasn’t sure if that was allowed or if it was going to look like I’m clingy because, while I-“

“Is that what I sound like when I babble?”

Oliver faltered before he chuckled. “You sound sweeter.”

Felicity smiled at that. She doubted her babble was as cute as Oliver tried making it out to be, but it warmed her heart knowing he thought that way. All too often her babble had been something that was seen to be ridiculous and something to be embarrassed about. Oliver just seemed to accept it as a part of her.

“So,” Oliver said after a moment, “have you been waiting for me to call?”

“I was,” Felicity admitted. “I would have called you if I had known that you were just as unsure about whether to call too by the way. Just like you, I didn’t want to seem clingy. Besides, I wasn’t sure if you had too much on your plate. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could never bother me,” Oliver replied. He made a short pause before he added, “I missed talking to you.”

Felicity’s smile widened. “Yeah, I missed that too, very much actually.”

“That’s good because it means I can call you a few more times before I come back tomorrow like maybe when I can’t fall asleep.”

“Or maybe I’ll call you when I can’t fall asleep.”

“Or maybe you call me,” Oliver agreed, his smile audible in his voice. “I tried reaching you at your office first. I thought that, if I had to reach you somewhere in the middle of the day, it was at work. Gerry said you were out for coffee, though. I guess with my hesitation to call you drove you right into the arms of the next guy?”

Felicity chuckled. “More like in the clutches of the next Queen.”

“You’re meeting with my sister?”

“Yes.” Felicity bit her lip. “Is that okay?”

“Sure. You two are going to hang out a lot in the future, at least I hope so, so I guess it won’t hurt if you get to know each other better now. I guess Thea is excited to meet you. She’s been bugging me to invite you over to my home and invite her too, so she could meet you outside of work. There just hasn’t been time. I guess she figured using my absence would be a good idea.”

“She did sound very excited on the phone.”

Oliver chuckled. “That sounds like my sister. What time are you supposed to meet up?”

Felicity shot a look at her watch. “Five minutes ago.”

“Poor you. I know you hate waiting.”

“True, but I am getting used to it. Everyone in Starling City seems to be okay with being five to ten minutes late, so I am trying to accept that. I-“ There was a knock at the window, and, when Felicity turned her head to look outside, she saw Thea waving at her with a smile. “Your sister is here. I gotta hang up.”

“Tell her I said hi. I am going to call you after my dinner with the mayor tonight, or do you have other plans for tonight?”

“Nope, I’ll be waiting for your call.”

“Great.” There was a moment of silence, and Felicity’s heart skipped a beat though Felicity couldn’t say why. Before she could think about it too much, Oliver said, “Talk to you later, Felicity.”

“Yeah, talk to you later. Bye, Oliver.”

“I am jealous.”

With her phone still in her hand, just having ended the call, Felicity perked up her eyebrows. She turned in her seat to see Thea already at her side. An amused smile was playing on her lips. Felicity frowned at her for a moment, wondering what she meant, but she eventually pushed it away.

“Hey,” Felicity said, quickly shaking her head to pull herself together, and smiled.

She slid off her chair and hugged Thea briefly, who hugged her back in return. While Felicity was sitting back down, Thea went around the table to the other chair. She beckoned for the waitress to come over before she took off her coat and scarf, hanging them both over the backrest of her chair.

“What can I get you?” the waitress asked.

“A coffee and something sweet. Do you have donuts?”

“We have chocolate coconuts donuts, vanilla frosted sprinkles donuts and apple cinnamon donuts today.”

“Oh, I’ll take an apple cinnamon donut please.”

“And for you, Felicity?”

Felicity guessed she shouldn’t be surprised that the waitress knew her by her name. She was here at least once a day to grab a coffee and or a pastry. Sometimes she even got Gerry a coffee too. He took such good care of her, even brewing her coffee though she had told him she could do that herself and she felt he deserved coffee, too. Anyway, Felicity was probably one of their best customers.

“Another coffee and a slice of the cheesecake please.”

“Alright.”

The waitress was noting the order on her order pad while as she headed toward the counter. Felicity looked after her for a moment before she turned back to Thea who had since sat down and crossed her arms on the edge of the table.

“So, did you call my brother, or did he call you?”

“He called me.”

“In that case my jealousy was absolutely valid,” Thea said. “My brother never calls me when he’s away. I can ask him to call me, even just to know everything work related is fine, and he always promises me to call me. Yet, once he is away, he just texts me that it’s okay and that he doesn’t have time to call. Ollie hates phone calls.”

Felicity chuckled. “Well, I was promised at least one more phone call today.”

Thea puckered her lips. “I am starting to hate you a little, you know?”

Though Thea kept a straight face, almost looking a little too convincing, Felicity didn’t miss the glint of amusement in the other woman’s eyes. She shrugged her shoulders innocently and smiled, lowering her eyes for a moment before looking up again.

Before anything more could be said, the waitress returned with their coffees and the pastries. Felicity couldn’t stop herself from grabbing the fork and taking a bite right away. Apart from a slice of cold pizza from yesterday, she hadn’t eaten anything yet today. Seeing the food now, she realized how hungry she actually felt.

When she looked up from her cake to see Thea smiling at her over the rim of her coffee mug, Felicity perked up her eyebrows at her. “What?”

“Nothing,” Thea said. She took a sip of the coffee before putting the mug away. “I just- I mean, though I am a little bit jealous, I am happy Oliver has you in his life. He is so much happier now. After McKenna died, I thought I had lost my brother. He was only a shell of the brother I loved so much. It’s gotten better the last two years, but it’s been a long time since I have seen him this happy. It’s a good thing.”

Felicity held Thea’s gaze for a couple of seconds before she lowered her eyes to her hands that were wrapped around the warm porcelain. She couldn’t deny that there was a slight tingle in her stomach at the thought that she was making Oliver so happy. It meant a lot coming from his sister since Felicity knew how close they were.

At the same time, Felicity couldn’t deny that the thought of how deep the hole must have been that Oliver had fallen into after McKenna’s death, left a weird taste in her mouth. Felicity couldn’t even say why that was the case, though. She knew how much Oliver had loved McKenna, and she absolutely and whole-heartedly respected that. The more she heard how much Oliver had suffered from losing the love of his life, the more Felicity wondered how bad it had been and how he had managed to work his way up out of that hole.

The evening Felicity had first met Oliver, Sara had mentioned that he was closed-off and grumpy the majority of the time, but that he opened up once he knew people. From what Sara had told her before Felicity had really gotten to know Oliver, it had been obvious that he had issues. Felicity had experienced it herself when he had left after their first kiss. Oliver hadn’t been healed when she had met him, and she doubted he was healed now. She was happy she had contributed just the tiniest little thing to his recovery, though.

“I like Oliver, very much really.”

“He likes you too.” Thea smiled. “I don’t know if he told you because, like I told you, he’s not a talkative guy, but he really, really likes you. More than that, actually. My brother has a giant crush on you, and it’s just one of the sweetest things to watch. His eyes light up when he talks about you, and he talks about you a lot.”

Felicity felt herself blush, and she lowered her gaze once more. She knew Thea just wanted to be nice and made sure she knew how much Oliver liked her in case his broody attitude was preventing her from seeing it. Yet, it was weird hearing it from Thea. Hence, it was time to change the subject.

“So, Oliver told me you wanted to study fashion design before you started working at City Hall?”

For the break of a second, Thea seemed to be taken aback by the sudden change of topic. Yet, she smiled, probably aware that maybe their conversation had been one that actually Oliver and Felicity should have.

“Oh, I did,” she replied with a sigh, “but, as you see, life wanted something else from me. It’s a long story.”

“We have time.” Felicity smiled, leaning forward, and crossing her arms on the on the table. “So, tell me.”

* * * * *

“I haven’t had this in forever.”

Quentin smiled at her and took a sip of his own hot drink he had just gotten from the kitchen to surprise Felicity. She was surprised, pleasantly surprised she might add. While he was putting his own mug on the coffee table, he was looking at the TV where a boring action movie was airing. There was a little bit of sadness in his eyes when he looked back at her again, leaning back into the comfy cushions of the couch.

“Your mom always made this for me when I had a rough day at work and for the girls when they had trouble with their friends or whatever,” Quentin said, smiling nostalgically like he could see Donna coming into the room with four mugs of warm milk for her entire family. “I didn’t even like warm milk before your mother came around, and, admittedly, I refused to try it before she forced me to.”

Felicity smiled, angling her head forward and breathing in the warm steam that came from her milk. She closed her eyes, and for a brief moment it was almost like she was back in her small room in their apartment in Las Vegas. She was sitting on her bed with a blanket pulled over her head and pouting because her mother wouldn’t let her go to Space Camp which had been one of her wildest dream growing up.

Now, as an adult, she knew that her mother simply didn’t have the money to do so. The new sneakers she had gotten that summer had already been far over what Donna had been able to afford, but she had bought them for Felicity because she had begged her mother to. There had been little computers as well as unicorns printed on the fabric after all. Felicity had never seen something like that before, sweet and girly while also including tech. She had always felt she needed to decide – either for something girly or something with computers and science. Those had been her favorite pairs of shoes, and she had worn them until there had been holes in them. She still had them in some unpacked boxes.

Anyway, the warm milk seemed to be just the right drink for this evening. A storm blustered outside, howling around the house. Though Felicity couldn’t see what was going on outside, she could feel the unpleasantness of the weather. She was just happy to be curled up on the couch under a blanket with a mug of warm milk in her hands.

“My mom made this for me when I was a kid,” Felicity said. “It kind of reminds me of Las Vegas and of her… in the time before I was mad at her because I didn’t understand that she wanted to protect me.”

“Donna never saw it like that, you know?” Quentin asked. “She always said you had every right to be angry with her. She thought with the problems you had in life already, with how much she had to work to even afford what you needed, and with how much of a daddy’s girl you had always been and him leaving, it would have been hard enough. She felt lying was the safer option for herself and for you, for the both of you. You know her greatest fear was always that maybe her decision had been right for herself but wrong for you. The last thing she wanted was for her to ruin any chances you had. She always knew you were gifted with your intelligence and your understanding of science. She wanted you to be able to achieve everything you wanted in life and to make sure you got the best education possible.”

Felicity smiled, leaning her head back against the headrest for a moment. “Mom didn’t ruin any chances for me. It wasn’t easy for us, especially when it came to money, but that was my father’s fault and not hers. She did everything she could, and she showed me what it meant to work hard and put your own needs aside for family. Looking back, she’s been a fantastic role model. I really just hope that, you know, wherever she is,  she knows that… that I love her.”

“I’m sure she does,” Quentin replied.

Sometimes, it still felt weird to talk about her mom. She had avoided talking about her for so long that the word  _ mom _ had barely been able to roll off her tongue for a long time. Now it felt natural again. Just like the words  _ sister _ and  _ family _ . She hadn’t known how much she had missed having a family before she had moved to Starling City and gained a sister and a pseudo- new dad.

“I am really happy I moved to Starling City.”

“Sara and I are really happy you moved here too,” Quentin said and smiled. “Laurel was a little bit disappointed because she would have liked to get to know you better too, but I am sure she will get over it.”

Felicity chuckled, taking another sip of her warm milk. “Sara already suggested going to Central City for a weekend or something, so we can meet up with Laurel and do something together. The holidays are only a month away, and Sara said she is going to spend either Christmas or New Year’s Eve in Central City anyway. I have never celebrated Christmas, but who knows. Anyways, I guess Sara and I will go to Central City together to hang out with Laurel sometime. Does Sara often go to Central City for the holidays, though?”

“Yes, when Di and I got divorced, Laurel and Sara were already old enough to make their own decisions, so we sat down together, all four of us, and discussed where they wanted to live and how we wanted to handle things.”

“Very civilized.”

Quentin nodded. “Di and I felt it was the right thing to do. The girls shouldn’t suffer because we didn’t love each other anymore.”

Felicity smiled. Frighteningly, she knew a lot of people who had grown up with only one parent. Iris, her friend in New York, had grown up with only her dad after her mother had runaway one day. She herself had grown up with only her mom. It was good to know that there were actually people who were able to separate without leaving their children behind.

“They decided to live with you?”

Quentin nodded. “I think it was more a decision of staying in Starling City rather than moving away, but yes. They stayed here. We agreed that they would spend weekends, vacations and holidays in Central City with their mother. They could see her whenever they wanted to. Of course, now they are adults and can do whatever they want anyway. They usually try to spend some holidays here and some in Central City. Last year, we even spent some of the holidays together since Sara and Laurel didn’t want to leave me alone. It worked well.”

Felicity smiled. “Sounds good.”

“I am sure Di wouldn’t mind if you joined Sara for a visit. She is hospitable, and she liked Donna. She was even at our wedding.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Really?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Quentin chuckled. “We fell out of love, but we always got along well. It made things easier.”

Felicity smiled, nodding her head. When Quentin had asked her if she wanted to spend the evening downstairs in his part of the house to watch a movie together, she had hesitated. Since she had moved here, she hadn’t spent a lot of times wit Quentin alone. Usually Sara was there with them or Dinah if she and Quentin were off at the same time and Oliver during their weekly Wednesday dinners. She couldn’t even say why she had hesitated to be alone with him. Quentin had been so happy she had moved here after all. Maybe she had just been worried that they wouldn’t have anything to talk about. She was happy she had decided to hang out with him tonight. There was a quiet radiating off Quentin that made it so easy to spend time with him.

“How long did it take, after you got divorced I mean, for you to start dating again?”

“A couple of months. I wanted to give myself and the girls time.” Quentin smiled. “At the start, it never lasted more than a couple of weeks. I’d go on a few dates or whatever, but it never lasted. Then I met Donna, and everything changed.”

“Sounds romantic.”

“It was… kind of.”

Felicity’s smile widened. She couldn’t deny that she was a sucker for a good love story. She loved action movies too, at least if they were better than whatever bullshit was on right now, but hearing how much her mother had been loved meant a lot to her. She knew that, though her dad had been crazy for her mother, he had never really loved her from the bottom of his heart. She was happy her mother experienced a real love at least once. She was even happier Donna had found Quentin. Felicity didn’t know him well, but she liked him. He seemed to be a good man. Felicity knew her mother well enough to know that she wouldn’t have wanted a man she had loved to suffer from her death or to suffer enough to give up on love.

“You really think you will never fall in love again?” Felicity asked, moving her forefinger over the rim of her mug. “I mean I can’t even imagine the depth of losing the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, but… don’t you think that one day, there will be another romantic story where someone suddenly comes along and changes everything?”

Quentin held Felicity’s gaze for a long moment, looking at her thoroughly. Eventually, he looked away, though. His eyes filled with sadness, and Felicity squeezed her eyes shut.

“I am so sorry,” she hurried to say. “I am way too nosy. Just ignore my questions and-“

“No, no,” Quentin interrupted her, shaking his head. He sighed when he looked back at her. “It’s okay to ask. I’ve actually been thinking about it myself lately. Besides, I guess you do have interest in that answer for other reasons too.”

Felicity frowned for a moment before it dawned on her that Quentin was talking about Oliver. To her own surprise, she hadn’t even thought about Oliver when she had asked Quentin. She probably should have kept in mind that the man she was dating was in a similar situation as Quentin was, but she hadn’t. For some reason, she didn’t feel like they were that relatable though they had both lost the woman they had wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.

“We never know what will happen to us, you know?” Quentin asked. “Maybe I am wrong, and I will fall in love again, but I won’t search for it. I had two great loves, and both ended before they should have, I guess. I don’t want to go through that again.”

Felicity nodded. He had said the same when Sara had asked him about dating again a few days before. She guessed he was really determined to not fall in love again. It was kind of sad, but of course it was Quentin’s right to protect his heart from any more pain. He certainly had suffered through enough as it was.

“That doesn’t mean it has to be the same for Oliver, though,” Quentin added. “Like I said before, Oliver is younger. He has his entire life ahead of him. Of course he would and should try finding someone to love again. I can’t deny that I was a little surprised when I heard you were dating or rather worried, I guess.”

“Because you weren’t sure Oliver was ready?”

“Yeah.” Quentin moved his hand over his head and pursed his lips. “I think I projected my own feelings onto Oliver which wasn’t fair. I am glad things seem to be working well between you. I wouldn’t want your fresh start here in Starling City to be overshadowed because Oliver… I mean… I was worried he’d hurt you, and you’d go back to New York or somewhere else. I like having you here. I am happy I’m getting a chance to really get to know you instead of just knowing you from photos and from the stories Donna told me. And I am sorry because I am sure that this is overstepping a line again and-”

“It’s okay. I know you were just worried.” Felicity smiled, shaking her head. “I actually had the same concerns when I started dating Oliver.”

“And now you don’t?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I enjoy having a family, and I enjoy my new job. I came here for other reasons than writing the love story of my life. Dating Oliver is great. I like him, but my job, you and Sara are the reasons I moved here. So, if things go wrong, it’s not like I will pack up and leave.”

Quentin smiled with relief. He reached out a hand and squeezed Felicity’s fingers. “I am glad you feel that way.”

Felicity put her mug on the coffee table and placed her free hand on Quentin’s hand. There was a moment of silence that Felicity wondered what her life would have looked like if Quentin and Donna would have met sooner and she would have grown up with him as a dad. Sara had mentioned so often that Quentin was a great dad, and in the few conversations they have had, Felicity had gotten the impression that it was right.

When a particularly loud howling of the wind made them both look towards the window, Felicity pulled her hands away to grab her mug again. She leaned back with a sigh and took a sip of her warm drink.

“The storm doesn’t sound good,” Quentin said. “I’m sure we will be busy taking care of the damage tomorrow.”

Felicity nodded shortly. “Do storms like this occur here often?”

“Sometimes.” Quentin shrugged his shoulders as he sighed. “It’s going to be a busy day, but after these storms I usually like to go to Donna’s grave and check to make sure everything is alright. You know, with the storm there is usually some dirt on the gravestone and things can get a little torn up. I like to clean it up as soon as I can.”

“I can do that.”

Quentin perked up his eyebrows. “Really? You always have so much to do, I-“

“I took the day off tomorrow and Friday. I felt I deserved a little break, a treat for myself. Besides, Ray mentioned that with all the extra hours I was working, I should actually take two weeks off and go on vacation already, even though it’s only been a month of me working at PT.”

“I guess that has something to do with Oliver coming back tomorrow?”

“Maybe.” Felicity smiled. “Anyway, I can take care of mom’s grave.”

“Good. Thanks.” Quentin smiled at her for a moment longer before he turned to the TV and grabbed the remote. “And let’s try to find something better to watch. This movie is terrible.”

“Worse than terrible,” Felicity agreed.

* * * * *

Quentin had been right about the grave. There was dirt all over the gravestone, covering Donna’s name and the other words that were engraved into the stone. It was a sad sight. Though Felicity knew it shouldn’t matter since she knew the truth, it looked like the grave hadn’t been taken care of in forever. It was no surprise that Quentin had wanted to take care of it as soon as possible.

“Don’t worry, Mom,” Felicity whispered, “I am going to take care of this.”

Unlike the first time she had been here, this time she had remembered to bring everything she needed. She had a small bottle filled with water as well as a cloth, and, once everything was cleaned up, she’d put the small bouquet of white lilies on it. 

Felicity knelt down in front of the stone and made quick work of the dirt. She wiped the dirt away until the gravestone was all clean and shone brightly. She moved her hands over the churned-up earth below the gravestone to even it out a little. Then she left the flowers on it and smiled.

“That’s better,” she whispered to herself.

Felicity stayed at the grave a little longer, thinking about her mother and all the opportunities of spending time together they would have had if it hadn’t been for her anger or her mother’s sudden death. It still hurt a little, but she knew her mother would want her to be happy. She just had to remind herself of that every once in a while.

With a smile on her lips, Felicity turned around to head towards the exit. She had only taken a few steps on the path between the other graves when she stopped. The gravestones were all covered in dirt. Biting her lip, Felicity looked in the direction where she knew McKenna’s grave was. When she had first been here and met Anna – though she had only known that she was McKenna’s mother later – she had seen the direction she had walked in. When she had talked to Oliver on the phone last night, she had mentioned the stone and he hadn’t said anything about being worried. Yet, Felicity felt, if he was here, he’d probably take care of her grave.

Before Felicity had really made the decision, her feet were already carrying her in said direction. Feeling it was the right thing to do, she stopped at her mother’s grave once more to steal a single lily from the bouquet she had just put there. Only then did she move along to find McKenna’s grave, and it indeed only took a couple of minutes.

“Hi,” Felicity said. “I hope it’s okay that I’m here. You probably weren’t expecting me. I am just going to clean up here and give you a flower that I feel I owe you. Then I’ll be on my way to leave you in peace.”

Felicity knew it was stupid, but she felt it was the only way to offer McKenna the respect she deserved. She knelt down and hurriedly took care of the dirt. As she wiped it off, she uncovered the letters engraved into the stone and smiled softly.  _ Forever loved. Forever missed.  _ It was really beautiful.

“So, that’s it,” Felicity said after only three minutes and put the flower onto the grave. “I’ll leave you to your rest.”

Felicity got up and gathered her things, about to leave. As soon as she turned around, she stopped, though. Anna was standing not far from her, smiling softly. Felicity felt herself blushing and bit down on her bottom lip, feeling caught.

“Hello, Felicity,” Anna said as she came closer.

“Hi,” Felicity said, smiling insecurely. “I… uhm… I was at my mother’s grave and… well… uhm… I figured it wasn’t the only grave that was slightly damaged by the storm, so I decided to take care of it and… uhm… yeah, I know Oliver is in Central City, so I thought he would want someone to take care of it and… well… I… I didn’t know if someone would-- so I did because Oliver is a friend of my stepfather and… uhm… yeah… I… uhm… I took care of it.”

Felicity felt her blush deepen. Even she, herself,  heard how stupid that sounded. Yet, Anna just kept smiling at her.

“Thank you very much,” she said. “That’s incredibly nice. I would have taken care of it, but I had a little accident while running last week and trouble with my knee. You spared me a lot of pain.”

“I hope it’s nothing too serious?”

“Oh no. It’s all fine. Just a few scratches and a little soreness, but it’s going to be fine.” Anna chuckled and waved it off as she stepped next to Felicity. “Did you put the flower there?”

Felicity nodded. “I owed her one.”

Anna smiled. “You didn’t, but I appreciate it. I am sure Oliver would, too.”

“Could we- could we keep this between us?” Felicity asked. When Anna perked up her eyebrows, she added, “I am not sure Oliver would be okay with me taking care of the grave. I mean we barely know each other and… I don’t know… It wasn’t much anyway, and I was pleased to help, so…”

Anna’s smile turned even gentler if that was even possible. “If you think that is the best, that’s fine. My lips are sealed.”

“Thank you,” Felicity replied and gestured to the exit. “I will go now.”

“Yes, of course,” she said. “Once more, thank you, Felicity.”

“Of course.” Felicity smiled. “It really was nothing. Bye, Anna.”

“I am sure we will see each other again soon.” When Felicity perked up her eyebrows, Anna chuckled. “Starling City feels more like a village than a city.”

“Yeah.” Felicity nodded slowly. “I actually said the same thing a while ago.”

“It’s true.” Anna smiled and nodded. “Bye, Felicity.”

Felicity lifted her hand in a short wave before she turned around and left.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!Spoiler  & Trigger warning: Shooting!!!

Felicity liked airports for two reasons. The first was that she had watched a little bit too much of  _ Love Actually _ . The Prime Minister’s emotional speech about love being everywhere accompanied by the pictures of people reuniting at the airport had touched her back when she had watched that movie with Iris. Now that she was more aware than ever that it was a terribly romanticized perspective on airports, she just liked them because they reminded her of New York. Unlike the rest of Starling City, at least here the people seemed to be struck by the same hectic feeling  as people in New York.

With a content sigh, Felicity leaned against one of the concrete pillars and crossed her arms in front of her chest loosely. She had a perfect view of the doors from the baggage pickup, but they had been closed for the last five minutes, no one coming out. With a brief look at her watch, Felicity guessed she had a few more minutes before the first passengers of flight CEC-108 were going to exit the area. Only then she would have to direct her attention to the doors to make sure she wouldn’t miss when Oliver came out.

That meant Felicity had enough time to take a look around and enjoy the buzz of the frantic people around her. Indeed, there were a lot of people hurrying through the spacious hall. Most of them – men and women of every age – were talking on their phones, probably planning on how they’d get home or where they were of to. They had probably just come back from business travels and were either reporting the results to colleagues or telling their loved ones that they had arrived back in town safely. There were no great scenes of reunions, no one picking up travelers except for the employees of chauffeur services that were holding shields with people’s names.

Felicity smiled. The anonymity and frenzied feeling here pleased her. It was something she liked. One of the reasons why she had loved living in New York, apart from the city being far away from her mother, had been that you could just get lost there. You weren’t seen unless you wanted to be seen. Everyone was so focused on themselves and hurrying through their days that they turned a blind eye on everything else. If there was anyone New Yorkers looked at, it was the tourists they rolled their eyes about. At least for a New York newcomer it had always felt that way. Las Vegas and Boston were so different from that. Anyway, since Felicity had always liked to be alone, she certainly hadn’t minded. She had used it to-

When a tingling feeling spread in her stomach, nervousness suddenly taking over, Felicity’s thoughts came to a sudden stop. Without hesitation, she turned her head to look at the doors again, knowing why the butterflies had started flying in her stomach even before her eyes could see and prove her suspicion. Felicity couldn’t even rationally explain it. There was no good reason why this should be possible, but apparently her body had felt Oliver’s presence and reacted to it even before Felicity saw him.

Yet, there he really was, standing in the doors with the handle of his suitcase in one hand, his coat and scarf put over his other arm. He was looking a little tired with his hair tousled, the first two buttons of his shirt undone and his tie loose around his neck. He had probably used the flight to catch up on some sleep after they had stayed up late last night talking. Yet, Felicity couldn’t deny that he was still unbelievably sexy. She doubted there was anything that man could do that would make him look any less sexy.

With quick steps, Oliver started walking towards her. The quiet smile that had been on his lips spread a little wider. His eyes stayed focused on her as Felicity stared back, not moving. If she went to meet him halfway, they’d meet in the middle of passageway and would only disturb the many people who were hurrying home or wherever they needed to be. Felicity was sure that unlike most New Yorkers, people in Starling City wouldn’t curse at them for being in the way, but she didn’t want to tempt them. Besides, from her position at the pillar, she could perfectly watch Oliver’s movements as he approached her. With his tall and broad body, he looked like a young God going to war – or maybe something less dramatic as she didn’t want to consider herself as a war – without even trying.

“This is a surprise,” Oliver said when he was in her reach.

“A good one I hope,” Felicity said. “I figured instead of meeting tonight for dinner, I could also take the day off and make John happy by giving him another day off instead of picking you up at the airport. By the way, I don’t think he was very fond of the idea of picking you up from the airport, and I actually doubt that it’s his job unless you want to make me believe that you driving yourself is a risk to your health, but maybe he said that to convince me to come instead because I actually wasn’t sure if I should and-“

Felicity’s ramble came to a sudden stop when Oliver’s fingertips brushed over her cheeks. Only a moment later, his hands were cupping her face, holding her with a gentleness that seemed to be a sharp contrast to his calloused fingerprints. Felicity smiled, snuggling her face into his touch. She lifted her hands and gently grabbed his wrists, moving her fingertips over his pulse points. Oliver was smiling, the expression in his eyes as soft and content as his smile.

“I am so happy you’re here.”

“Yeah?”

The word was only a whisper, but Oliver smiled reassuringly. “Yeah.”

Oliver angled her head back a little and leaned forward, meeting her lips in a gentle kiss. His lips captured her bottom lip between both of his. When his teeth scraped her sensitive skin, Felicity sighed. Oliver didn’t hesitate and used the opportunities of her lips being opened slightly to stroke his tongue against hers. Felicity leaned against Oliver’s body almost as if she could melt against him. When their lips parted a moment later, Oliver nuzzled Felicity’s nose. His lips brushed against hers once more before he pulled back completely, looking at her with this wonderful smile that she felt was reserved for her.

“I was already debating with myself if I should just ask John to take me to PT so I could try to convince you to call it an early day. I guess I guess that detour would have been for nothing though.”

“Indeed,” Felicity said with a chuckle.

“Why didn’t you tell me you took the day off?”

“It’s called a surprise, Honey,” she replied playfully. “You do know what a surprise is, right?”

Oliver pinched her side gently before he put his hand back to her face and stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. His gaze lowered to her lips for a short moment before he looked at her eyes again.

“So, I have you all to myself for the rest of the day?”

Felicity’s smile widened at the suggestiveness of his voice. When he wiggled his eyebrows, making sure she knew exactly what he envisioned them doing, Felicity chuckled. She slapped his hands away from her face playfully.

“Who says we are going to do  _ that _ ?”

Chuckling, Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity’s waist and pulled her back against his chest. He kissed the corner of her lips before he brushed his lips along her cheek to the soft spot under her ear.

“Maybe I can convince you.”

When Oliver’s lips pulled at her earlobe gently, Felicity hummed. It was a great feeling, especially since his short stubble was gently scratching her cheek.

“Maybe I don’t need that much convincing.”

She could feel him smile against her temple before he kissed it. When he pulled back then, he was still smiling.

“Let’s go,” he suggested. “I can’t wait to be alone with you.”

Oliver pecked her lips before he reached out his hand for the handle of his suitcase. He put his free arm around her shoulders, and Felicity leaned into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist and walked towards the exit. Felicity was sure that their slow strolling was annoying the other people, but she couldn’t get herself to care.

“So, your first day off since you moved to Starling City,” Oliver asked on their way to the exit, “how does it feel?”

Felicity chuckled. “Still weird. The only time I took a few days off in New York was when my mother died.”

Oliver looked at her with compassion, but Felicity just shrugged her shoulders. Oliver knew about the problems she had had with her mother even though she hadn’t told him about it in all the details. Felicity had figured out that Oliver was a great listener, not only when she babbled about the most unimportant things, but also when she talked about something meaningful.

“I hope I still have the chance to get used to it tomorrow,” Felicity added, focusing on the day off instead of her mother.

“You have the day tomorrow off too?” he asked, arching his eyebrow.

“Yes. I felt taking off Thursday just to go back to work  Friday before the weekend would make no sense. I also figured that I deserved a longer weekend after all the work I put into the company the last few weeks. Please, tell me that’s true because I feel so awful for taking two days off when there is actually so much more to do.”

Oliver chuckled, tightening his arm around her shoulders. “You are absolutely right.”

“That’s all?” Felicity scrunched up her nose. “You are not very convincing.”

At that, Oliver laughed amusedly. He pressed his lips together for a moment, narrowing his eyes, before he turned his head to look at her. His fingers were playing with a strand of her hair as he watched her.

“How about this?” he asked then. “You’re absolutely right because you having the day off tomorrow means we can spend the entire weekend together?”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “The entire weekend?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Sure. Why not? Since we first met, we’ve always been busy with work or whatever. We never spend more than eighteen hours together. I think it’s time to prolong our dates a little bit. Besides, we do have some things to catch up since I was in Central City.”

Felicity hummed. “Sounds nice.”

“Just nice?” Oliver asked, perking up his eyebrows. “I have the best arguments to convince you that it’s going to be more than just nice.”

“Shoot.”

“I have really fast WiFi at my place and receive a lot of TV programs though you won’t get to see much of them because I am not intending to watch TV with you. I have a new mattress that is the perfect mixture of soft and hard, so I am sure you’d like that. My bathtub has a whirlpool mode, but I know you’d rather take a shower, which, as you know, has multiple shower heads. I have a new case of your favorite wine. I spent weeks finding the perfect recipe for a chicken cordon bleu without ham and have finally been successful. I-“

Felicity chuckled, patting his chest gently. “You had me thinking this was an amazing idea at the fast WiFi.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, absolutely. The WiFi at Quentin’s house is terrible. I’ve been wanting to set up a new system for awhile, but I haven’t gotten around to do so yet.” Felicity said with a sigh. “Anyway, we have to make a short detour, so I can grab some stuff from home for the weekend.”

“Or you could pack a bag for things that are just going to stay at my house permanently.”

Felicity chuckled. “You should go away for a few days more often. You are in a really good mood today.”

Oliver smiled and kissed her temple. “Coming back to you has me in a good mood.”

Trying to hide her smile that might give away a little bit too much of how the butterflies in the pit of her stomach were dancing happily, Felicity snuggled even more into Oliver’s side. She liked the thought of having a few things at Oliver’s place. It made spontaneous overnight-dates a lot easier. She didn’t doubt that Oliver was feeling the same way, so she guessed it was a good sign.

“So,” Felicity asked finally when she found her voice again, “what can you tell me about that chicken cordon bleu?”

* * * * *

“God, I am so glad you’re here.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “That bad?”

“Worse.”

Before Felicity could do anything more than chuckle at Thea’s answer, the young Queen  had already grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hallway. Felicity had a little trouble keeping up since she was wearing new shoes that weren’t only hard to walk in, but had also left at least two blisters on each of her feet already. Felicity would have changed into the extra pair of shoes she kept in her office as soon as she was back there after her appointment with the CEO of Kord Industries, but Thea’s panicked call about tech problems at City Hall had made her take a detour instead of heading right back to PT. If Felicity had known that she would have to run, she certainly would have changed her shoes nonetheless, or maybe she would have come barefoot since she didn’t keep an extra pair of shoes in her car. She took a mental note to fix that for future problems.

As soon as Thea had pulled Felicity into Oliver’s office, she let go of her. While Thea hurried behind the desk to Oliver’s computer quickly, Felicity released a breath of relief. She kicked off her shoes, leaving them in the middle of the room and enjoyed the cool marble that cooled her blisters and even eased the pain a little. It was a good thing that she and Thea had grown to become friends in the last couple of days. Otherwise, she would have tortured herself and kept her shoes on. She knew that being a woman in the business world, especially in a male-dominated world, forced her to be twice as tough as men. Walking in uncomfortable shoes all day was a small part of that. With Thea, Felicity knew she didn’t have to pretend, though.

“So, what’s the problem?” Felicity asked and approached Thea, walking on the tip of her toes to ease the pressure on her blisters. “Another system crash?”

“I don’t know,” Thea said. “Everything went well for the last couple of days. Ollie even did a test run on the presentation he has to conduct, and it all worked out perfectly. Now he goes conducts the presentation-”

“The one on the project about cleaning up the bay?”

“Exactly,” Thea replied hurriedly. “Anyway, for some reason the data transfer from his computer here to the screen in the conference room keeps crashing. It always disconnects itself, and there are defect notes that-”

Felicity pushed Thea aside gently, making her stop. Sitting down behind the desk, Felicity let her fingers dance over the keyboard. She was sure whatever the problem was, she’d find out quickly, probably more quickly than Thea could explain. Indeed, it only took Felicity a couple of seconds to find out what the problem was.

“The new update that was ran yesterday caused some changes in the settings that are responsible for the problems,” she said. “Give me a minute, and I’ll fix it. I should rewrite some codes for the stability of the collaboration of the different-“

“I am sure you will do whatever we need,” Thea interrupted her, “but how quickly can you fix this for now? Ollie has to convince a lot of people to back this project. Without the presentation it’s only going to be harder, and this project is important to Ollie because… well, I guess you know how important it is to him.”

“I also know why.”

Felicity cast a short look to Thea who smiled apologetically, but Felicity winked at her, letting her know she didn’t mind. She guessed Thea was just as insecure about mentioning McKenna around her like Oliver had been at the start. Fact was that Felicity knew that Oliver had proposed to McKenna there, and part of why cleaning up the bay, after it’s deterioration was so important to him because it reminded him of the proposal. He didn’t want that place to be ruined because some people just left their trash wherever they wanted, or because the city was failing to give the youth a perspective on their lives.

“So?” Thea asked after a moment. “How long do you need?”

“Already finished,” Felicity said pressing the enter key, as she cast Thea a short look. “You can go and support your brother if you want to. I am going to check to see if the update did any more damage, and see what I can do to  fix it all, and, when I say ‘see I can fix this it all’, I don’t really mean that because of course I can fix whatever the update did and, yeah, I am sure you need to go, right?”

Thea grinned. “Right. You can tell me all about this later, though, and, when I say ‘tell me all about this’, I mean talk to me even though I don’t understand a word.”

Felicity chuckled and nodded towards the door to the conference room. “Go, and save your brother.”

“Well, that is what you did already. Nice shoes by the way.”

“Nice to look at, but not nice to walk in,” Felicity replied, scrunching up her nose. “Unfortunately.”

“Beauty knows no pain.”

“I am more into nerdy than beauty, so…” Felicity shrugged her shoulders.

Thea had her hand already on the handle of the door to the conference room when she turned back around to her once more and asked, “Are you going to stay until the meeting is over? I am sure Ollie would like to see you.”

Felicity shot a look at her watch. “I have my next appointment in an hour, so I can stay for a little while.”

“The meeting is going to take fifteen more minutes at max,” Thea said, “or at least I hope so otherwise Ollie is going to freak out.”

Felicity chuckled and briefly lifted her hand in a quick wave before Thea disappeared into the conference room, leaving her alone in the spacious office.

As Felicity continued working her way through the changed settings, she recalled Oliver’s words about the meeting. He had told her that a lot of people had given up on the bay as it wasn’t only because of the trash, but also because a lot of youths found their way there to drink and smoke pot. His idea to build a youth center for young people to turn to instead of spending their nights at the bay had already been turned down. He didn’t have much hope that they were going to agree to this project, but Oliver already had a backup plan. He’d build an action group and encourage citizens to clean up the bay, personally not as the mayor. Felicity thought that was a great idea.

At the memory of how happy Oliver had looked when she had encouraged his idea, Felicity smiled. After she had picked Oliver up from the airport, they had spent a wonderful weekend together. Just like Oliver had suggested, they had spent a lot of time in bed, enjoying being back together in one city. If their first time together had been amazing, Felicity lacked a word to describe how wonderful the weekend had been. She had never felt better in her entire life though the sex had probably just been part of the reason for that, while the wonderful food Oliver had made her in addition to the wine and WiFi along with everything else had been so much fun.

Once she had taken care of all the issues with the update, Felicity leaned back in Oliver’s chair with a sigh. If there was anything that could relax her and even distract her from the aching blisters, it was fixing minor tech problems. The slight headache she had had all day was gone, too. When she needed to distract herself from something big, she usually looked  for problems to fix. It would make her have a headache, but also distract her from anything else. After her mother had died, she had sometimes spent more than twenty-four hours on her computer, not even taking a break to eat or shower. Iris had had to force her away from her computers and into bed when that happened.

Felicity shook her head at that thought and turned away from the screen. When her eyes caught sight on an additional photo frame on Oliver’s desk, she sat up a little and smiled. Between the photo of McKenna and him and the photo of him with his parents and Thea was another photo, kept in a simple silver frame. The photo showed the both of them together. Her back was pressed to Oliver’s chest, their cheeks snuggled together as they were both smiling into the camera. They had taken the photo last weekend in one of the few moments that they had worn clothes. Compared to the other photos, taken by a third party and probably a professional one too, their photo looked cheap, but Felicity didn’t mind. She liked the photo, and she liked that he had put it there.

Apart from the people closest to them like their families and closest friends, they still hadn’t officially come out about their relationship. Since Oliver as the mayor and member of the Queen Family was a person of public interest, Felicity was sure that it was only a matter of time until it came out. They weren’t exactly hiding though they hadn’t shown up together at any important events that included press either. There hadn’t been any they had both attended since the gala for the police foundation anyway, but Felicity doubted they would have gone to something like that together even if there had been an opportunity. Oliver still hadn’t told Anna that he was dating again, and Felicity knew he had to do that before they could show up as a couple anywhere.

While Felicity wasn’t in any hurry to let other people know that she and Oliver were dating given what Thea had told her how paparazzi sometimes pretended like the Queen Family was as interesting as the Kardashians and followed them around, she did hope that Oliver would eventually come clean about them to Anna. It wasn’t like she minded that McKenna’s mother didn’t know. She could imagine why it was so hard on Oliver to tell her that. Felicity was just worried what would happen if Anna found out through anyone else other than Oliver though.

Releasing a little sigh, Felicity shot a brief look at her watch. She would have to leave in five minutes. If she drank her coffee here instead of at PT, she might have another five minutes, though. Since she would like to hear how the meeting had gone, she figured she should take the additional five minutes. Thea had been confident that the meeting wouldn’t take much longer after all, and Felicity did want to see Oliver.

Felicity looked at the photo of her with Oliver one more time before she got up and headed to the small kitchenette. She had just reached the middle of the spacious office when an ear-piercing noise was heard. Felicity couldn’t say what it was, but it mixed with the screeches outside. Her first reflex was to go to the door and check what was going on in the hallway, maybe help whoever was screeching.

Before Felicity could take a single step towards the door, the opal glass of the wall and door burst. Pieces of shattered glass were thrown in her direction. Instinctively, Felicity lifted her hands and held them in front of her face, trying to protect it from any cuts. She squeezed her eyes shut at the same time though she felt the urge to cover her ears with the brutal loudness of the noise.

She wasn’t sure what it was, maybe the panic of not knowing what was going on or the adrenaline that was rushing through her veins and causing her heart to pound and her breathing to be shorten so much that her chest was heaving, but Felicity figured it was best to make herself as small as possible. She crouched down, trying to provide as little of a target as possible though Felicity wasn’t even sure that it was an attack. It could as well have been some… Felicity didn’t know, and it didn’t matter.

Holding her breath, she whispered the prayers her mother had taught her when she had still been a child. Felicity would have lain in bed as her mother sat on the edge of the mattress. Donna would have whisper words that Felicity would repeat. Then Donna would kiss Felicity’s forehead and head to work, while Felicity would roll onto her side and try to fall asleep, listening to music from the discman her mother’s boss had given to her for Hanukkah. Felicity didn’t know why she remembered this now, or why she remembered it at all. A lot of the memories she had shared with her mom had been hidden behind her anger for her for so long, and they hadn’t fully returned even though she had stopped being angry and forgiven her mom as well as she had forgiven herself for hating her mom in the first place. The memory of praying with her mother, a ritual they had had each evening like bedtime stories were the ritual for so many other kids, had been long forgotten with all the other memories, but now it seemed to give her comfort.

When the noises finally ceased, an almost equally deafening silence spread through the entire floor, Felicity opened her eyes. Careful not to push her cheek into any of the scattered pieces of glass that covered the floor around her, Felicity turned her head. Where a wall and a door of opal glass had once separated the office from the hallway there were now only a few pieces left. They were fragmented though still stuck together. Indeed, Felicity was sure that all she had to do was blow a breath against it for it to fall apart.

The first quiet noises were to be heard now, revealing that there were still other people in City Hall. Felicity took in a deep breath, breathing against the tight feeling that had formed around her chest. While she was breathing out slowly, trying not to make any noise that was too loud, Felicity sat up. Using her forearms for support, she tried lifting her chest off the floor. She had just lifted her head off the floor when she felt a pain rip through her body. Gasping for breath, Felicity lowered her head back onto the floor and squeezed her eyes shut once more.

She moved her hands over her breasts and stomach carefully, checking for any injuries. With the adrenaline that was still running through her body, Felicity wasn’t exactly sure if maybe the pain she was supposed to feel was overshadowed. Maybe she had only been sore and wasn’t hurt, which would mean-

When her hands felt out something wet on her stomach and her waist, Felicity’s thoughts came to a sudden stop. She lifted her hands in front of her face, and the sight of the blood made her eyes widen slightly in shock. Felicity guessed she should call out for help, so someone would call an ambulance or take her to the hospital, but her shout was barely louder than a whisper.

Once again Felicity wondered what had happened. Before she could think about it more, her lids were grew heavy. Within a couple of moments, they drifted close. She felt like she was floating and the world around her spinning, almost like she was drunk. Felicity wondered if this was what dying felt like before she drifted off to sleep or maybe unconsciousness, or was it death? Felicity didn’t know, and, right in this moment, she couldn’t even get herself to care.

* * * * *

When another defect note appeared on the screen, the connection to his computer having crashed once more it seemed, Oliver had to bite back a deep sigh. He bit down on his tongue and took in a deep breath, doing his best to hide any sign of nervousness from the people he was presenting his plans to. This was important to him, so, technically, he couldn’t allow himself to make any mistakes.

“I am sorry,” he hurried to say. “As you can see, we still have some minor problems with the intranet and other parts of the computer system. The CEO of Palmer Technologies personally, Ms. Felicity Smoak, has helped to improve the system, but there are still some issues from time to time. We are taking care of it. A giant system like this just takes a lot of time and knowledge to be handled correctly.”

“Maybe that is a project that actually has some hope,” Sebastian Blood, one of the people who was opposing Oliver’s project to clean up the bay, said. “We should probably talk about updating the entire hardware in City Hall once more rather than cleaning up a piece of the city that is much better being burnt down.”

Oliver bit down on his tongue. “Actually, the hardware at City Hall is still quite modern and at a really good level for a public building. The problem is that the software is not always up to date, and, even if it is, it’s not a hundred percent matched with the tasks it’s supposed to accomplish.”

When that answer left Sebastian speechless, Oliver turned his gaze to the documents before him. He had to bite back an amused grin. A couple of weeks ago, Oliver wouldn’t have known this either. He actually had thought about updating the hardware here once more to avoid any more tech problems. Felicity had told him in detail what was working and what wasn’t with the tech at City Hall, though. Oliver had only understood half of it, mostly because Felicity had talked herself into a frenzy and had probably been more focused on babbling out all the details instead of making her words understandable for amateurs. Anyway, Oliver had loved listening to her.

Thinking about Felicity, Oliver had to bite back another sigh. It was a completely different kind of sigh, though. The thought of Felicity didn’t make him feel annoyed. It made him feel longing. He bit down on his tongue a little bit more firmly,

Oliver knew it was crazy. He had seen Felicity only this morning after they had spent another night together at his house. After they had spent their long weekend together, they hadn’t spent a night apart and had actually wanted to continue like that until the next weekend. Since they had already missed sleeping next to each other, Felicity had come over on Monday evening. Oliver had cooked for her, so they had been able to enjoy a wonderful meal together. Then they had gone to bed and only said goodbye when they had left for work this morning. Yet, they were already missing each other like crazy.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver recalled the words Felicity had told him when he had told her about being nervous about the presentation. She had framed his face with her gentle hands and smiled, telling him that it was all going to be okay. She told him that he didn’t need any presentation or any show to present this. He had his heart in this, and that was all that mattered because, at the end, it was all that really counted. His heart was going to get the arguments across.

“I know that this project is a bold move,” Oliver explained. “I know that there are a lot of arguments against it. It’s a fact that just cleaning up the bay won’t miraculously fix everything. We have to take care of the other problems that occur around the bay, too. Cleaning it up is going to be a first step in the right direction, though. It’s going to show people that we have not yet given up on this landmark in our city.”

He was looking into the faces of the people around the long wooden table, trying to read their thoughts. He wasn’t sure if they liked the project or not. Sebastian Blood was the only one whose facial expression Oliver was able to read easily right now. There was no doubt he hated the idea. Sebastian had never supported any of Oliver’s ideas, so he wasn’t actually surprised.

Just when Oliver was about to continue, the door opened. Thea entered the room and sat down in her chair right next to him. She had left a short while ago, and Oliver had actually feared that even his sister had given up on the project. Now, she was smiling at Oliver encouragingly, though. Maybe she had been able to find out what had been wrong with the system after all, or she had found someone who had been able to. Felicity had advised the entire IT-department here to attend additional educational training, and she had even sent over a couple of her employees to give them an introduction on the software City Hall was using. Maybe one of them had fixed this.

Oliver continued the presentation with the help of the screen. He kept talking about all the arguments there were to cleaning up the bay and not give up on it yet. If there was one person he had learned a lot from when it came to talking passionately about something you loved, it was Felicity. When she talked about computers, it was unbelievable. Her eyes lit up, her passion infecting everyone around her. If he was able to talk half as passionately as Felicity, it would all be fine.

Eventually, Thea left the room once more, smiling at him as she left. Oliver smiled at her briefly before returning to the presentation.

“I know cleaning up the bay is only the first step of a long journey to make it a welcome place for every citizen, especially kids, again. It’s a step that is going to be worth it, though. As I pointed out, the project planned here is also a good starting point for teaching kids in school about sustainability. Hence, it is not just about the bay. It is about a lot more, or it could be if you back this project and-”

Suddenly people were screaming outside causing Oliver to turn his head. Only a moment later a loud noise almost like a machine gun being fired was heard. Before Oliver could figure out what was really happening, the glass windows that separated the conference room from the hallway burst. Scattering pieces of glass in his direction.

“Everyone down!” Oliver yelled.

He turned around and crouched down trying to make it harder for the attacker to hit him. The people he had just talked to were trying to find safety behind their chairs and under the table. Oliver hurried to help a pregnant woman to get down too. He pushed her a little more under the table, so she was completely protected. Instead of crawling under the table after her, he pushed a chair in front of her to give her even more safety. Then he hurried back to the dooy.

“Oliver, what are you doing?” Adrian hissed.

“I need to check to see if anyone is danger or-“

Before Oliver could take a step out – he really needed to find out if Thea was alright because the thought of what might have happened to her actually made his stomach twist painfully – more shots were fired. This time, it was a gun, but the shots were answered with some more shots from the machine gun. Pressing against the door, Oliver saw John crouching behind a corner with his gun pointed at something in Oliver’s direction.

When more shots were fired, John slid back to hide behind the corner and Oliver ducked down too. While he was holding his breath, waiting for something more to happen, he lifted his gaze. He could see the man with the machine gun as he walked further into the hallway. He fired some more shots before he turned around and ran away, firing more shots as he left.

A long moment of silence settled. Nobody dared to speak or to move. Oliver’s heart was pounding in his chest, his blood rushing in his ears. He felt deafened by the loud noises, his body frozen in place from panic. He had never experienced an attack like this, and he hoped he would never have to again.

Knowing that someone had to check to see if the attacker was gone, Oliver got up to see John already turning the corner to do so. He held his gun ready to shoot, his eyes fixated on where the attacker had been before. Oliver opened the door and stepped outside, gesturing for everyone else to stay down.

“He got away,” John said. He engaged the safety on his gun, but didn’t put it away yet. “We need police and ambulances here. I will try to follow him, and make sure there is a five-block net around City Hall to assure he’s found.”

“I am already calling an ambulance,” Adrian said as he stepped out after Oliver.

Only now that Oliver turned away from John, he saw the extent of what had happened. Apart from the entire floor being destroyed, three of his security team were lying on the floor, their eyes wide open and empty. People from the other rooms were calling for help for the people that had gotten hurt. It was a terrible sight, almost like this was a place of war. A cold shiver ran down Oliver’s spine at that thought, and his stomach clenched painfully.

“Ambulances are on their way.”

Adrian’s words snapped Oliver out of his shock. Now was not the time to get lost in this cruelty. He had to keep a clear head to help the people who had been hurt.

“John is following the shooter and getting in touch with the police to make sure there is a five-block net around the City. I want everyone who is able to move to help with first aid. First aid boxes are in the closets next to the door in any room. Please make sure the people wounded get what they need and has anyone seen my sister?!”

Immediately, the door to his right opened and Thea stepped out of her office.

“Ollie!”

“Are you okay?” he asked Thea, quickly looking her up and down. “Are you hurt? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Thea said. Her eyes drifted to the bodies of the dead security guards, and her face turned white. Shock was written all over her face. “What happened?”

“We were attacked, apparently,” Oliver replied. He put his hands to Thea’s shoulders and held her tightly. “Listen. I need you to focus right now. These people need help, and we need to know how many people are hurt and how bad their wounds are so we can help the EMT’s when they get here and-“

“I’ll check the conference room.”

“We just came from there. Nobody is badly hurt,” Adrian told her. “I’ll check the offices down the hallway.”

“I’ll check the other offices down this way,” Thea said. She and Adrian started walking immediately, but Thea turned her head back to Oliver once more. “Ollie, go to your office and ask Felicity for help. She certainly-“

“Felicity’s here?”

“Yes, I called her to fix the tech. She wanted to wait in your office, but maybe she left already. Just ask her to help!”

With that, Thea disappeared behind the next door. Oliver felt his legs aching with the need to move. He wanted to run to his office or help others injured around him, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t the sight of the dead security guards that froze him into place right now, though. It was much more the thought of Felicity being here where a guy with a machine gun had just hurt and killed people. Panic took over, taking Oliver’s breath away.

If anything had happened to Felicity…

The thought was enough to get him to move. As quickly as he could, Oliver ran  to his office. There was no door to open as the glass had been completely shattered, just like the glass of the walls. Oliver just stepped over the scattered pieces into his office and looked around hurriedly.

It took him at least three beats of his heart before he saw the blood on the floor. The broad trail led from the middle of the office to his desk. His eyes followed it slowly, his brain almost unable to process all the information. At least it was unable to understand what all this blood meant for Felicity. It was only when he caught sight of her naked feet right next to his desk that his brain caught up.

“Felicity!”

Her name fell from his lips in a mixture of a whisper and a hiss. Oliver ran through his office towards her. Felicity was lying facedown on the floor, her arms outstretched like she used them to drag herself to the desk to seek safety there after she had been shot. Her entire body was covered in blood. There was so much blood, Oliver wasn’t sure how much blood she still had left.

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered once more.

He crouched down next to her and carefully turned her around, so she was lying on her back. He checked for a pulse, and felt a heavy weight being lifted off his chest at feeling the even rhythm. Her pulse felt weak, but he considered it a win that there was a pulse at all. Her chest was only lifting slightly with each intake of breath, but at least she was breathing.

“I need help in here!”

Oliver quickly took off his suit jacket put it to the side of her stomach where the blood was coming from. Using his entire weight, he applied pressure to the wound to stop the blood from spilling. Maybe if he got the bleeding under control, Felicity would have a chance of making it. She had a chance to make it, and she would make it. Nobody would be able to convince him otherwise. Felicity was a fighter. She had fought so hard to make it from a two-room-apartment at Las Vegas to the top of an international tech company. With that alone, he knew she would make it.

“Felicity,” Oliver whispered to her with gentle voice. “You are going to be okay. You will be okay. It’s all going to be okay. I am here. Don’t worry. You are not alone. Everything is going to be alright.”

Oliver continued talking to her soothingly. Felicity stayed unconscious, so Oliver wasn’t even sure she heard him. He continued talking nonetheless. Maybe it didn’t soothe her, but it definitely soothed him, so Oliver kept whispering comforting words while he waited for the ambulance to come and tell him that Felicity was going to be alright. He needed that assurance from a professional. Even though deep in his heart he knew she was going to be okay, he needed that reassurance. He really needed it.


	9. Chapter 9

Felicity had been confronted with peanuts twice in her life. The first time had been in college when her friends had suggested trying pot brownies. The second time had been later when she and Iris had been in a Chinese  buffet restaurant, and Felicity’s meal had contained peanut sauce without her knowledge. Both times Felicity had ended up in the hospital with a swollen face and an itching mouth, almost choking as her body reacted to the peanuts she was so terribly allergic to. Since then, and despite loving their taste, Felicity had been fed up with peanuts.

Hence, when Felicity woke up and her first thought was that she craved peanuts, she knew something was wrong. Scaring herself, and everyone around her, to death  and spending a number of hours in the hospital as she received several talks about being more careful was not something she was looking forward to. 

Knowing something was wrong, but not what it actually was, was frustrating. Felicity tried to focus on the things she did know. The obvious thing of notice was that it was dark. It took Felicity a moment before she realized that it was probably dark because her eyes were closed. She tried to open them, but they refused. Her lids felt too heavy to lift and reveal what was going on around her.

Felicity tried to focus on her other senses. She tried to hear what was going on around her, but all she could hear was a high-pitched beeping in her ears. It was almost like the tone reached through her ear and into her brain, stabbing it with a sharp knife over and over again. Her head felt like it was about to explode.

Her mouth felt dry, and she couldn’t smell anything, so Felicity focused on what she was feeling. For a long moment, Felicity wondered if she was feeling anything. Her body felt numb. Yet, she felt incredibly cold. She wanted to grab a blanket and make it a little warmer, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t  move a single part of her body, not even her pinkie and all she could feel was her aching head. Felicity wished her eyes would open even more than she did before, so she could check to make sure she was still in one piece. She had no idea why she wouldn’t be – what had been the last thing she had done?– but the fact that she had no feeling of her body unsettled.

For a moment, she tried to think back to what was going on before she went to sleep, to remember. Her head seemed to be a terrible mess right now, though. Small snippets of memories came to her mind, but they didn’t make any sense, nor did they seem to be in any type of order. She remembered watching her parents fight from the head of the stairs. The next thing she remembered was watching the stars with her mother right before going off to college. She remembered her mother’s wedding with Quentin, then the fight that had parted her and her mother for years. She remembered getting the call that she had died, the night she had first accompanied her mother to her work as well as moving to Starling City. She saw dozens of faces that seemed familiar but whose names she couldn’t remember at the moment.

Starling City. That name rang a bell aside from knowing that her mother had lived there. Felicity just couldn’t put a finger on it yet. She knew there was a lot of her memory still inactive. It was there, dark and blurred. She just couldn’t see it clearly, no matter how much she tried.

When the feeling in her back returned, Felicity decided to focus on that instead of trying to put her memories in order. She was feeling a mattress – softer than her usual one whatever and wherever that was. She tried to remember where she remembered a mattress like this from. Oliver came to her mind, but she was actually sure his mattress was harder.

Oliver. Once the name crossed her mind, Felicity’s memory came back in full force. She remembered her mother’s death and the time she had spent punishing herself for not fixing the relationship with her mother when she had had the opportunity to. She remembered deciding to move to Starling City to take a job and get into touch with her stepfather and stepsisters, well, stepsister as only one of them was still living there. She remembered moving and taking the job her boss had offered her, then meeting Oliver Queen the very first day in her new hometown. There was some hesitation before she remembered that she had fallen in love with him, madly in love actually. She knew in the back of her mind that it wasn’t something she’d say out loud yet. It was too soon and not the right time. There had been complications between them, something that made her hesitant to feel too much or too deeply for him, to admit that she did more than like him, but Felicity couldn’t say why exactly.

Slowly her hearing came back to her. The high-pitched beeping died down until it was inaudible. For a long moment, there was only silence. Felicity almost believed it was because there was nothing but silence around her. It wasn’t long until the noises of her surrounding started catching up to her, though. She heard something – a shuffling – that she couldn’t figure out what exactly it was. Maybe it was leaves in the wind, maybe paper. Maybe it was something entirely different. She really couldn’t say. There was a voice speaking, though. At first, she thought it was a voice she knew, Oliver’s or maybe Quentin’s, but, as it got clearer, she realized that she didn’t know the voice, at least not well. It took another minute before she remembered that she knew it from the news program she watched each evening.

_ …shooting in City Hall… _

Right, Felicity thought to herself. There had been something like that. She had tried to fix the glitches in the intranet and other damage an automatic update might have prompted. She had been able to work through it rather quickly since it was more of a routine than a challenge. She had decided to wait for Oliver then because she had wanted to see him and ask him about how the presentation went about the project he was invested in. She had wanted to grab some coffee, so she could stay a little longer and increasing her chances of seeing Oliver. Then there had been a terrible mess and  loud noises that she hadn’t understood.

Felicity remembered not knowing what had been going on. A shooting made sense, though. If she was right, she had tried to duck away when the glass walls and door had splintered, caused by bullet fire. It had been too late, though. She had already been hit. Shocked and wounded, she had gone down on her knees. She had tried to crawl her way to the desk, so she could call the police and an ambulance, but she had lost consciousness too soon, losing too much blood.

_ … nine dead, twenty-six injured and two in critical condition… _

If Felicity was able to move at all, she’d probably drop to her knees and pray for all of those poor souls. She must have been lucky seeing as  she was alive and awake even if her body still needed a moment to follow her mind into consciousness. She had been at City Hall quite a few times since she had moved here. She knew a lot of people who worked there, some only in passing, others from what Oliver had told her and, again, others from talking to them.

Felicity’s stomach sunk – yes, she could feel her stomach again – at the thought of what might have happened to Oliver, John and Thea. They had been in the conference room which wasn’t any more protected than Oliver’s office. The entire floor was made of too much glass which looked nice, but was obviously a terrible decision.

_ …almost twenty-four hours already. Yet, Mayor Queen, who had been present at City Hall during the shooting, but was not injured, has yet to deliver a statement. According to his deputy mayor, Adrian Chase, who also survived the shooting without any injuries, Mayor Queen is at Starling City General and not yet available for a… _

If Oliver wasn’t injured, why was he at the SCG? Was he supporting the victims of the attack and-

Felicity’s lids started fluttering until her eyes finally opened. She had underestimated how glaring the light would be and had to squeeze her eyes shut once more as the headache she had almost gotten used to got a thousand times worse. Felicity waited until the worst of the headache had ceased. Only then did she try opening her eyes once more. She only saw schemes and shadows. Everything was blurred, and it look a few moments for her vision to improve.

Once her view was clear, Felicity realized that she was in a hospital which, given what she remembered had happened, of course made a lot of sense. There were a few monitors next to her bed. Without moving her head as it felt way too heavy to do so, she followed the cables to where they disappeared in the neckline of the hospital gown. Her brain seemed to be heavily damaged. She was sure that otherwise she would have known that the ECG was hers. Her head felt like it was filled with cotton wool, though, very heavy cotton wool to be exact.

Felicity lowered her eyes a little to see the rest of her body. As far as she could see, there didn’t seem to be a limb missing which she guessed was a good thing. She couldn’t see her right arm, but as the feeling slowly came back to her limbs, she was eventually able to feel it. A slight tingle spread from her right shoulder down her arm and into her hands.

When she noticed that there was a hand holding hers, Felicity turned her head slightly. It wasn’t much, but her head protested anything further than that, and it was sufficient for her to see whose hand she was holding or rather who held hers as there was no tension in her fingers.

If Felicity could move more than necessary, a smile would have certainly spread on her lips. Oliver was sitting at her bedside, a small table with dozens of files and papers in front of him. His left hand was reached out, holding hers, while he was writing with his other hand. He was mostly focused on the papers, but every once in a while his head lifted, and he shot a look at the TV where the news was still airing. He was wearing a suit, but the jacket was lying over the backrest of the chair. The sleeves of her shirt were rolled up, the first few buttons undone and his tie was loosened. He looked sexy like he always did. Yet, Felicity didn’t miss the expression of worry in his face or the dark shadows under his eyes.

Felicity wondered if he had slept at all since the shooting. She guessed he had had a lot to do with the attack and damage control or had he been here the entire time?

It wasn’t long before Felicity felt her eyes drifting shut again. She was tired. Now that she felt her body again, the pain seemed to be catching up to her. There was a burning in her side, and Felicity could almost pinpoint where the bullet had hit her and how it had worked through her body. It was a terrible pain that seemed to paralyze her entire body, making her unable to move. She wanted to groan, but she seemed to be too weak to even do that.

Felicity fought the strings that were pulling at her, trying to get her back to sleep. She was tired, incredibly tired, but she wanted Oliver to know that she was okay. She didn’t know if she had been awake since the shooting and had just forgotten, or if she had been unconscious until now. Either way, she figured it was a good idea to let Oliver know she was okay.

Gathering all her energy, Felicity opened her eyes again. She tried to catch his attention, but she wasn’t able to speak or to move her fingers. She couldn’t even take in a particularly deep breath that could prompt Oliver to look at her for a moment, so Felicity just waited.

She watched Oliver, who was still so incredibly focused on his work. During their weekend together, Felicity had to work a little bit. Oliver had sat next to her and watched her. No matter how much Felicity had told him to stop looking at her like that, he hadn’t. Felicity hadn’t understood what he had thought was so fascinating about watching her work. Watching Oliver now, she got it though. It was obvious that, although Oliver looked tired and worried, he was enjoying his work. It was like he was in his element, just like she was when she was working on her computers.

Felicity didn’t know how much time had passed before Oliver finally glanced towards her. He looked at her face only for a brief moment, turning his head just enough, so he could see her before turning back again. It was almost like he had just wanted to make sure that she was still there. The fact that she had her eyes opened seemed to catch up to him only a moment later. He quickly turned around to her once more, turning his entire body instead of just his head this time.

“Hey.”

It was only one word, a single syllable, and his voice had been barely louder than a breath, but Felicity could hear the relief in his voice. It matched the relieved and comforting smile on his lips. She was glad she had decided to stare at him until he noticed her instead of just falling back asleep. She was sure Oliver needed to see that she was awake, and, admittedly, seeing his smile did her a world of good, too.

Oliver quickly dropped his pen to the tabletop and pushed the table away to make more room for him to stand and turn towards Felicity again. He stepped closer to her side and framed her face with his hands. A sigh fell from her lips, and she snuggled her face into Oliver’s touch. His calloused fingertips felt rough against her soft skin, but Felicity didn’t mind, especially because his hands were wonderfully warm and helped with how cold she was feeling.

“God, I am so happy you are awake,” Oliver whispered as if he knew that she had a headache. He pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead, his warm breath ghosting over her hairline. “You really scared me for a bit.”

Felicity tried to answer, but all that came out was a rattle in her throat.

Oliver pulled back and frowned at her, worried. “You need a little water?”

When Felicity nodded, Oliver grabbed a plastic mug with a straw from the table next to her bed. He took the remote off the bed and lifted the upper half of the bed a little so she was in more of a seated position. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he pushed a hand behind her head so she could reach the straw and helped Felicity take a sip of water.

Felicity didn’t drink much as her throat ached with each sip. She nodded at Oliver to let him know that she had enough, and he gently placed her head back onto the pillow, and lifted one of her hands to his chest. The feeling of his steady heartbeat under her palm made her smile. Felicity wasn’t sure if there was an actual smile on her lips, but she was definitely smiling on the inside. When Oliver stroked the knuckles of his hand over her cheek, Felicity leaned into his touch once more.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you in pain?” he asked. “I am gonna get a doctor and-”

“Not yet.”

The words were slurred, and Felicity doubted that Oliver understood them. She turned her hand on his chest though, grabbing his hand and lacing his fingers with her. She didn’t like doctors or really anything that came with them. She could use another moment of rest before being poked and prodded.

Oliver smiled comfortingly and nodded. “Okay.”

“Thanks.”

Felicity sighed and closed her eyes for another moment, giving them a short break. Meanwhile, Oliver continued stroking his hand over her cheek ever so gently.

When Felicity opened her eyes again, she wet her lips and swallowed down the lump in her throat before asking, “How are Thea and John?”

“They are fine,” Oliver said. “They weren’t hurt.”

“Good.”

“They were actually here to see you, just like Quentin, Sara and Dinah. The doc said you needed rest and only allowed one visitor at a time, so I asked them to go home and let me stay. I will text them that you’re awake in a minute.”

“You stayed the entire time?”

Oliver nodded. “It’s just been twenty-four hours, it hasn’t been that long, and, yeah, I was much luckier than you.”

“I’m fine,” Felicity whispered, “unlike the nine people who died, and the… I don’t know… people who are still in critical condition.”

Oliver frowned slightly. “How do you know?”

When Felicity looked at the TV, Oliver followed her gaze. His frown deepened.

“How long have you been awake?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Awhile.”

Oliver smiled for a moment before his face got more serious again. “Do you remember what happened? I mean  _ really _ remember?”

“Yeah. I… I was in your office when… the shooting started. I wanted to duck away, but… I don’t know… I guess I was shot.”

Oliver nodded. “Yeah. You were incredibly lucky. The bullet missed any vital organs. It hit some muscle, and you lost a lot of blood, but that’s it. The doc says you should consider rehab to help with the pain management and to exercise the damaged muscle-“

When Oliver stopped, lowering his eyes, Felicity frowned slightly. She waited for a moment, thinking he would eventually look at her again and tell her what was going on, but he didn’t.

“What’s going on?”

“Felicity, I am so sorry.”

Oliver lifted his head and looked at her then. Felicity could see the anguish in Oliver’s eyes, and it only made her frown more.

“Were you the shooter?”

“What?” Oliver asked, taken aback by her question. “No.”

“Then why are you apologizing?” she asked. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“I am not so sure about that.”

“Why? What do you mean?”

Oliver shook his head, leaning forward and kissing the corner of her lips. He smiled comfortingly when he leaned back again, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter,” he said quietly. “What matters is that you are getting the rest you need to get back on your feet and-“

“Tell me,” Felicity asked.

Oliver hesitated. When Felicity refused to give in though, he sighed.

“The shooter was James Edlund. He’s a Starling City resident, always has been. Last January, there was a shooting at the Starling City Mall. Five people, including the shooter, were killed, and eighteen injured. Two of the casualties were Edlund’s wife and his six-year-old daughter. His older daughter was eight at that time. She survived, but she’s in a coma ever since.”

“That’s sad,” Felicity whispered, “but what does that have to do with you?”

“I was trying and failing to pass a law on gun regulation back then,” he said. “I knew, especially because of McKenna’s work and… her death, that gun regulation is a real problem in Starling City. Too many people have access to guns they don’t know how to use, and still carry them with them. It’s not difficult to get a gun. It was why the shooter back then was able to get his hands on a gun that killed and injured so many.”

“How do you know it was him? Edlund I mean?”

“We had footage from the security cameras. The FBI scanned it with their facial recognition program and found him. He had a small criminal record because he got into some trouble after the shooting last year. The police found him and arrested him.”

Felicity nodded slowly and squeezed Oliver’s hand. “This was not your fault. If the shooter in January hadn’t gotten his hands on a gun, he could have found another way to do what he had planned. You can’t turn back time. All you can do is looking forward, and try to right the mistakes of the past. Maybe this time you can push the law through, and save lives in the future.”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment. He squeezed her hand and held it to his heart once more.

“How did you get to be so strong?”

Felicity shot him a slight smile. “I was born and raised in Las Vegas by a single mother. I guess I took my lead from her.”

“I am glad you did,” Oliver said, “and I am sure she is incredibly proud.”

“You think?”

Oliver nodded. “And I am very glad that she watched over you during the shooting.”

Felicity smiled. “Yeah.”

After a moment of silence, Oliver got up and framed her face with his hands. He brushed his lips against hers carefully, making sure he wouldn’t exhaust her. Only then did he press down a little more to give her a firmer kiss. Felicity sighed against his lips. She lifted her arm to wrap her hand around his wrist and keep him from moving away, though she doubted that he actually wanted to pull away just yet. The moment she lifted her elbow from the mattress though, a sharp pain ran through her side, and she hissed.

“I am going to get you a doctor now,” Oliver said firmly, pulling away immediately.

“Okay,” Felicity said.

“Good,” Oliver said. “I would have fought you on this if necessary.”

“Too tired to fight anyway.”

“Then sleep a little,” Oliver suggested and kissed her forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

Felicity nodded and let herself sink into the mattress a little bit more. She had already closed her eyes, about to fall asleep once more, when she heard Oliver stop. She opened her eyes to see him standing in the middle of the room, turned towards her. Smiling tiredly, Felicity perked up her eyebrows.

“You know, while I was waiting for you to wake up, I was thinking,” Oliver said, pushing his hands into the pockets of his pants and hunching his shoulders, “and I figured maybe it would be a good idea to go away for a few days, maybe a week or two, just the two of us.”

“Are you suggesting a vacation?” Felicity asked.

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe when you are a little better, and things at City Hall have calmed down, yeah. So, what do you say?”

“I always wanted to see Bali,” Felicity said. “Have you ever been to Bali?”

“No.” Oliver smiled. “No, I haven’t. Bali sounds nice, though.”

“Good,” Felicity said with a sigh and closed her eyes. “I can just imagine the two of us in Bali together.”

“Do that, and sooner than you’ll know it, we will  be.”

* * * * *

Felicity didn’t have much time to dream about her and Oliver in Bali together. Way too soon, the doctor came in. He checked some stats on the monitors and noted them in her chart. She was taken to get an MRI before the nurse injected her with painkillers. Though Felicity couldn’t remember, she was pretty sure that she had babbled  something ridiculous while falling asleep. If that was the case, Oliver had the decency not to mention it. His slightly amused smile betrayed him, but he kept his lips sealed about it.

The entire day, Felicity drifted in and out of sleep. One moment she was sitting in bed, talking to Oliver, who never seemed to leave her side, the next moment she was asleep. It was like the tiredness didn’t come slowly. Instead it was crushing over her with an almost brutal force when she least expected it.

When the nurse had brought the lunch, tomato soup, Oliver woke Felicity by gently touching her face. She told him that she wasn’t hungry, but Oliver pleaded with her until she agreed to eat a little bit. Since she was too tired to hold the spoon herself, he did that for her. After only five spoonfuls Felicity told him that she had had enough and suggested that he should eat the rest. She doubted he had had anything but coffee and water since the shooting. She was sure he could use a warm meal even though it was terrible tasting hospital food.

In the late afternoon, the physical therapist – Felicity noticed with surprise that it was Curtis’ husband – showed up. He insisted that she get out of the bed for just a couple minutes, saying some easy walking would help her muscles and keep her circulatory from crashing. It was excruciating. Her entire side was one big pain, but with Oliver and Paul holding her she managed to take a few steps before her legs gave in, too exhausted for more.

While she was lying back in bed, Oliver adjusting her pillows to make sure she was comfortable, she asked him if he wanted to go home. He looked even more exhausted now than she had this morning when she had woken up. The shadows under his eyes could no longer be ignored or denied. He was rubbing his hands over his face almost every five minutes, and his consumption of coffee rivaled that of Felicity’s when she had a very stressful day. Yet, when Felicity told him to go home, he only laced his fingers with her and told her he wouldn’t leave her alone. Maybe Felicity should have fought him, but she was too tired.

She slept some more after that. Oliver tried to wake her so she could order her dinner and choose something she really wanted to eat after the tomato soup, which had been his idea, hadn’t met her taste. Felicity was too tired though. She heard Oliver speaking, but she couldn’t answer even when he read her the menu card. She heard Oliver saying that he’d order a chicken sandwich for her as it wasn’t too heavy and would hopefully meet her taste.

When Felicity woke up the next time, it was to low voices. It took her a moment to make out who was there. Even before she was able to open her eyes, she knew Quentin, Sara and Dinah had joined Oliver to visit her. As soon as she opened her eyes, Felicity was met with relieved smiles and words as well as three firm hugs from her family and friend. They told her how glad they were that she was okay and that they would have come sooner, but Oliver had said she was too exhausted for visitors. They had wanted to see her before the day was over nonetheless.

Half an hour later, they were still there. While Dinah and Quentin had taken seats on the broad couch at the wall, Sara was sitting cross-legged on the foot of her bed, playing with Felicity’s feet every once in a while. Meanwhile, Oliver was sitting on the mattress right beside Felicity, holding her hand.

It was almost ten when the nurse came with her dinner. Oliver had made sure it was brought to her late, so she could rest and sleep as long as she needed it. When the nurse closed the door behind her, Sara leaned forward and screwed up her nose.

“That looks terrible,” she said. “Hospital food in general looks terrible I guess.”

“I remember from my last time in here that it doesn’t taste any better,” Quentin added.

“It doesn’t,” Oliver confirmed. “The tomato soup was terrible. It’s why I thought a sandwich would be safer. Now that I see it, though…”

“The tomato soup wasn’t that bad,” Felicity told Oliver, angling her head back to look at him. She knew he had picked the soup for good reasons, and it was sweet that he was taking such good care of her. “I just wasn’t hungry.”

“Don’t worry,” Quentin said. “I have a few days off and will personally make sure that you get something homemade.”

“Apropos home, do you already know when you will be released?” Dinah asked.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, biting back a groan at the pain it made her feel. “The doc says it depends on how the first attempts at physical therapy go. He wants to make sure my circulation is okay and that I can go to the bathroom and do a few other everyday things before he releases me. I’ve got crutches to train.”

“Carefully,” Oliver said quickly. “Train carefully.”

Felicity smiled at him, touched by how wonderfully he is taking care of her. “I know.”

“Well, I can promise that dad and I are going to take good care of you when you are home again,” Sara promised. “Besides, I called Laurel, and she’s coming for a visit, too. She is currently responsible for a case that just got in front of a judge. She can’t say how long it will take, but she’s doing her best to come as soon as possible. She will definitely stay for a weekend and then during the holidays. I know I complain a lot about her, but she does take good care of one if you are sick.”

Felicity smiled. “Then I will be excited to meet her again.”

She took a bite from the sandwich, doing her best not to screw up her face at the saltiness that spread in her mouth. This was worse than hospital food in general. Actually, it was probably the worst thing she had ever eaten. Luckily, she wasn’t hungry anyway.

“That terrible?” Oliver asked, seeing right through her.

“No,” Felicity lied. “I am just tired.”

Oliver kissed her forehead and whispered, “You better choose your breakfast yourself.”

Of course he could see right through her. He just knew her so well.

Felicity nodded. “Maybe when I wake up tonight. I actually want to sleep again.”

Oliver kissed her temple. “I guess it’s best you all leave, so she can catch some more rest. The day has been exhausting and-“

“Don’t you have to go too?” Felicity asked, angling her head back, so she could look at his face. Despite the pain in her side, she lifted her hand to touch his face gently. “You look exhausted, and you’re needed in City Hall.”

Oliver shook his head. “I won’t leave.”

“I will sleep anyway,” Felicity told him. “You should take the time, go home and catch some sleep. Tomorrow you can come back. Preferably after you’ve been to City Hall. Otherwise I guess the residents will start resenting you for your lack of response to the attack.”

“That can wait,” Oliver replied. “Adrian has it handled. What matters right now is that you are getting better and-“

“Oliver,” Felicity said gently.

Silence filled the room as Oliver and Felicity looked at each other. She knew he had been worried, and she knew he just wanted to make sure she was alright. Yet, Oliver had other and more urgent responsibilities than her. He had to take care of the city. She was alright and would be sleeping anyway. Oliver wouldn’t be able to help her with that. He might as well go home and catch some sleep, too.

Eventually, Oliver sighed. He took her hand and squeezed it gently.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I don’t mind sleeping in one of the chairs, so you have someone to talk to when you wake up in the night.”

Felicity smiled, squeezing his fingers back. “I know, and I appreciate it, but I’d rather have you fit and healthy here when I am awake and-“

“I really don’t mind sleeping here. I can even take a shower and-“

“Oliver.”

At the sound of his name falling from her lips, Oliver stopped. He pressed his lips together and sucked in a deep breath. His eyes lowered to their fingers for a moment before he looked up at her face again.

“You’re sure?”

Felicity smiled. “I am sure, yes. You go home, catch some sleep and take a shower. Go to City Hall and make a statement, and then you can come back with some food, maybe a Big Belly Burger. What do you think?”

Again, Oliver hesitated. He pressed his lips together firmly, watching her closely. Felicity smiled encouragingly, letting him know that she really meant it. Oliver needed his rest as much as she did, and she was fine. There was no reason for him to keep sitting here, after he had already spent most of his day here.

“I’ll be here tomorrow at nine at the latest,” Oliver said firmly.

Felicity smiled. “Of course you will, and I will tell you everything about my dreams of us in Bali.”

Oliver leaned down and kissed her lips gently. “You got yourself a deal, Ms. Smoak.”

Quentin, Sara and Dinah said goodbye to Felicity with hug and kisses too, telling her they would visit her again and make sure she wouldn’t die from boredom as long as she was here. When they were on the way to the door, Oliver leaned down once more to press another kiss to her lips.

“Tomorrow at nine,” he repeated.

Felicity smiled. “I can’t wait.”

Oliver had barely left the room when Felicity grabbed the remote to the bed and let the headboard sink back down until she was lying enough to sleep. She tried to turn onto her side, the one that was injured, as her back was already aching from lying, but the moment, she moved her hip, she felt pain rip through her body and decided to better stay lying how she was.

It wasn’t long until she fell asleep.

* * * * *

It took Oliver almost an entire minute before he was able to unlock his front door. His hands were shaking from all the caffeine he had ingested, and his view was blurring from tiredness. He missed the lock several times before he managed to get his key in to unlock the door.

As he stepped into the dark house, tiredness suddenly crashed over him. As long as he had been sitting at Felicity’s bedside, making sure she really was okay, the adrenaline in his system kept the tiredness at bay. The caffeine had only added to the nervousness that had eventually taken hold of him. Oliver was almost relieved that Felicity had still been a little confused and out of it. He hoped she hadn’t noticed how fidgety he had been, tapping his heel on the floor and  rubbing his fingertips together.

Without switching on the light, Oliver kicked the door shut behind him. He dropped his keys to the floor, letting his coat follow. His legs felt numb, but Oliver managed to stumble upstairs nonetheless. He walked into his bedroom, the door falling shut behind him. All Oliver wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep.

Before he could take another step, his legs gave out. Oliver fell back against the door, his legs failing to keep him upwards any longer. His back slid down the door as he slowly sunk to the floor.

Oliver’s throat burned from a sob he had been so desperately holding back since he had found Felicity in his office. Here, alone in his home, in the darkness, he couldn’t suppress his feelings any longer.

As Oliver screwed his eyes closed, trying to stop the tears from falling, snippets of memories flashed in front of his eyes, all of them mixing into a blurred mess.

Quentin had called and told him McKenna had died, shot in the line of duty. Thea had told him Felicity was in the very same building where a shooting had just happened.

He had been to the morgue, needing to see with his own eyes that the woman he had planned on spending the rest of his life with was indeed gone, and barely recognizing the cold, lifeless body that had been shown to him. He had stepped into this office, searching for Felicity and finding her injured, lying in a pool of her own blood while her skin become paler and paler with each passing second.

McKenna had been buried, the coffin descending into a small grave which had seemed so incredibly undignified. Felicity had been taken to an OR and had come back with several machines attached to her, looking all too small in a hospital bed.

There had been nothing left of McKenna but memories of the time they had spent together, captured in photos, videos and images in his mind. With Felicity, he had been able to make new dreams and plans, deciding to travel and see the world with her.

He hadn’t been able to do anything for McKenna but cherish her memory. There was so much more he could do for Felicity, though. He could bring her food and support her during her physical therapy and so much more.

Yet, Oliver couldn’t forget how he had felt the same intensity of pain when he saw Felicity lying there lifeless in his office as he did  when he saw McKenna in the morgue. Both times, he had been so sure he’d never be happy again and-

“Felicity is not McKenna. Felicity is not McKenna. Felicity is not McKenna.”

Oliver whispered the words to himself again and again. Felicity was not McKenna. What had happened to McKenna was not the same thing that had happened to Felicity. Felicity had survived.

“Felicity survived. Felicity survived. Felicity survived.”

It didn’t matter how long he kept telling himself this, or how many times he went through what had happened to McKenna and pointing out all the differences to Felicity’s situation right now. Oliver couldn’t get rid of the memory of  finding Felicity, in his office, lying in a pool of her own blood, close to death.

He had lost a woman he loved once, and he couldn’t go through that again. He wouldn’t.


	10. Chapter 10

**F:** It seems like I am no better in ordering hospital food than you are. The breakfast was terrible. I hope the lunch you promised to bring is better.

**F:** Your assistant just brought me burgers. Thank you! I was close to starving. I guess there’s a lot going on at City Hall?

**F:** Hey, everything alright? I haven’t heard from you all day.

**F:** So, breakfast #2 was no better than breakfast #1. It doesn’t matter, though. I have all these lovely baskets filled with foods. They might have to roll me out of the hospital.

**F:** Because I will gain weight with all these treats. Not because I will need a wheelchair because I won’t… in case it wasn’t obvious.

**F:** Just met up with the doc. He thinks I can go home by the end of next week. I think the baskets I received plus Quentin’s homemade meals should be enough to get me through the next 10 days here.

**F:** Your sister just called and said things are calming down at City Hall. Does that mean I will get a chance to see you today or are you-

Squeezing her eyes shut, Felicity switched off her phone and dropped it into her lap. She rested her head back against the pillow and carefully turned onto her side. Her hand came to rest on her waist that still hurt terribly from the gunshot wound and the surgery that had followed. It was healing and had gotten better, but she still needed painkillers. She tried to take as few as possible, though, as she wasn’t reacting well to them. She’d take a little pain over feeling dizzy and unable to control herself anytime.

Five days had passed since she had woken up after her surgery. She had gotten a lot better. Her appetite had started to return, and she wasn’t as tired as she had been that first day. She still easily exhausted herself though. Paul was coming over for physical therapy once a day, and, though Felicity was still in pain and her legs still wobbled a bit, she was making progress. At least she could go to the toilet all by herself now.

Felicity had also had a lot of visitors. She knew from the nurses that a few reporters had wanted to talk to her, but the hospital staff had sent them away. She was received a number of presents from Palmer Technologies’ staff and partners as well as the neighbors of her, Quentin and Sara. Quentin had come every day to bring her food, clothes and whatever else she needed from home. Sara and Dinah had tried to stop by daily as well. Curtis had shown up for a short visit three days ago, along with Felicity’s assistant Gerry. Thea and John had both texted her several times. Thea even wanted to come to the hospital and visit her today and Laurel had called her a few times and promised she’d come visit her as soon as her case would allow it.

The only person who hadn’t visited, called or even texted was Oliver. At first, Felicity had thought that he was just busy at City Hall. She knew his job was important to him and to the people living in Starling City. It should be his priority to make sure he was doing whatever he could in the wake of this attack. She had texted him from time to time, keeping him updated on how she was feeling and what was going on. The fact that Oliver hadn’t even answered a single one of her texts, not even with an emoji, and five days had passed, unsettled Felicity, though.

By now, she had given up on texting him or calling him. She went through the last conversation they had and tried to figure out if she had missed any signs. When Oliver had left that day, though, he had seemed fine. He had said he would visit her again and bring her food which his assistant had actually brought the next day. They had even talked about going on vacation together. Everything had been fine. Despite the lack of any clear signals, Felicity got a bad feeling that things between her and Oliver had changed.

When her waist started hurting a little bit more, mixing with the cramped feeling in her stomach at the thought that maybe things between her and Oliver were over, Felicity turned over onto her back. She stared at the ceiling, trying not to let the sadness consume her. It was stupid grieving her relationship when a) she didn’t even know yet if it really was over and b) they hadn’t even been together for long.

Of course it was over, a little voice in her head nagged. Why else would Oliver not visit her again or even call or text. She didn’t even receive a message when his assistant brought her lunch the other day. She had just told her that Oliver had asked her to bring her the food. That was all. No friendly words from him and no explanation why he hadn’t come himself or why he would be too busy to even message her a single text that could explain why there was this silence between them.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. She had never been a clingy girl. She could easily go several days without contacting or talking to a guy she was dating. While Oliver had been in Central City, she had found herself short on patience, but she had managed to stop herself from calling him. It was only when Oliver had called that first time that she had stopped pretending that she didn’t want to call him. This was different. She had been shot at the beginning of the week, and Oliver had told her that he was feeling guilty for it. She had thought that she had managed to convince him otherwise, but-

Quickly, Felicity shook her head. She had been gone through everything that had happened before and after the shooting so many times. Nothing foreshadowed the silent treatment she was receiving. Something must have happened between him leaving her hospital room five days ago and today and it had changed things between them. She knew it had.

She had even talked to Dinah and Sara about it, and they had both agreed that it wasn’t exactly the typical boyfriend behavior to not even text her. They agreed that things weren’t the way they should be.

Felicity had thought about asking Quentin if he knew what had happened. She had decided against it, though. Quentin was her stepfather, but he was also one of Oliver’s friends. She didn’t want to make him choose between her and Oliver by asking him if he knew what was going on with Oliver. Even if things between Oliver and her were over, she wouldn’t make him choose. She wasn’t the type of person to do that.

Disappointment spread in her once more. As sad as Felicity was that things between her and Oliver were over, she was even upset because of the way they had ended. When she had been a teenager, breaking up in a text message had been a bad idea. Right now, Felicity wished she had at least gotten that. It would make things so much clearer between her and Oliver than the silence did. Besides, she just didn’t want to remember Oliver as the guy who had never gotten back in touch with her as his way of breaking up. It was-

Luckily, a quiet knock on the door pulled Felicity from her thoughts before she lost herself in another spiral. She took in a deep breath, swiping her hands under her eyes to make sure they were clear of tears.

“Come in,” she called out then.

“Hi,” Thea said in a happy singsong, waving  a box of some of the finest chocolate in the air. “I thought you could use some sweets to make up for the terrible hospital- Wow, I could have spared the trip to the supermarket. Where did you get all these baskets from?”

As Thea stepped in, kicking the door shut behind her, she took a look around the room and all the baskets that were placed around the room.

Felicity chuckled. “That one’s from the SCPD. That’s from my neighbors. These are from the Palmer Tech, and the others are from different partner of PT. Oh, and that giant one over there is from Ray.”

Thea frowned. “I gotta tell my brother to put more effort into conquering your heart. If your boss is sending you a basket of expensive treats like that-“

“How is Oliver doing?”

“Huh?” Thea asked.

Felicity bit down on her bottom lip. She hadn’t meant to ask Thea about Oliver. Just like with Quentin, she didn’t want Thea to feel like she was caught in the middle. Now that she had mentioned Oliver, and it didn’t sound like he had mentioned to her that they were over, she couldn’t resist.

“I just mean… I… uhm… is Oliver busy? With City Hall or something?”

“Sure,” Thea replied. “I mean there is a lot to do, a lot of fixing the interior of our floor and increasing the security as well as working on that new law on gun regulation. He’s working on a lot of things right now, but I am sure he told you?”

Felicity lowered her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t seen him in a while.”

Even without looking at her, Felicity could feel that Thea was shooting her comforting glances. She knew that Thea hadn’t beenlucky with love in her life, either. Hence, she probably knew how Felicity was feeling.

“First of all, hi.”

When Thea hugged her, Felicity smiled and hugged her back.

“Hi,” she said. “I am so sorry. Hi. How are you doing?”

Thea chuckled. She took off her coat and dropped it on one of the chairs. Slipping out of her shoes, she sat down at the foot of her bed and threw the chocolates onto Felicity’s lap. Felicity opened the box, pushing a piece of delicious chocolate into her mouth before offering Thea one. She accepted the offered treat with a smile and took a bite too.

“So, I am fine,” Thea said eventually, “but the much more important question is how are you feeling?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, but she hissed when it made her side hurt.

“I’m doing better,” she replied then, “but still not exactly fine.”

Thea scrunched up her nose. “What does the doctor say?”

Felicity was about to shrug her shoulders once more, but she knew better than that. Rubbing her hand over her aching side, she replied, “He said it will take some more physical therapy until I’m back to my old self, but I can leave the hospital by the end of the next week. He mainly wants to keep me here a little longer, so I can enjoy the comfort of having a physical therapist here. He thinks by the end of the next week I should be able to feel like going to the bathroom is more like a routine than a challenge.”

“But you are getting better?”

Felicity nodded. “Yes.

A relieved smile spread on Thea’s lips. She reached out her hand to hold Felicity’s and squeezed her fingers.

“I am happy to hear that.”

Felicity smiled back, knowing that Thea really meant it. It wasn’t just a thing to say to someone in the hospital. She really was happy Felicity was getting better.

“Thank you.”

Thea smiled. “You’re welcome.”

A long moment of silence settled. Thea and Felicity stayed quiet, enjoying the chocolates while continuing to hold onto each other’s hands. Apart from Dinah and Sara, Felicity was sure that she had gained another friend in Thea. She didn’t know if they would have becoming friends if she hadn’t dated Oliver, but it didn’t matter to Felicity. They were friends now and that was all that mattered.

“So, Ollie hasn’t called or anything?”

Felicity shook her head. “I texted him at least a dozen of times in the last few days, but nothing.”

Thea frowned. “Not even an explanation why?”

Again, Felicity shook her head. “I wish that was the case. At least then I would know where we stand.”

“Now that you say it,” Thea said slowly, “Ollie has been weird these last few days.”

Felicity frowned. “Weird?”

Thea shrugged her shoulders. “He’s been nervous. You know he does that thing with his fingers-“

“-rubbing them together?”

“Yes, exactly,” Thea smiled at the fact that Felicity knew that nervous habit of her brother. “He’s also avoided talking about you. Like, I asked how you were doing, but I always got the same answer. I even asked if he wanted to come with me earlier, but he said he was so busy with work. I didn’t realize it at that time.”

Felicity nodded slowly. “I guess it was all too much for him… whatever that means.”

“Maybe it’s because of McKenna,” Thea whispered. “She was shot and died.”

Again, Felicity nodded slowly. She knew that, and she had considered that as the base of why Oliver was doing what he was doing, too. It was probably the reason that made the most sense. Yet, Felicity wasn’t sure if that was enough to overlook what had happened. Forgive, without any doubt, but overlook?

“I know,” Felicity whispered eventually.

This time, it was Thea’s turn to nod. “I know. I just… I hope all he needs is some time to… get over this. I know I am asking a lot, but… I know Ollie has feelings for you. So, if you could maybe be gentle with him in that- I know,” Thea interrupted herself. “It is a lot to ask. Maybe too much.”

Felicity smiled halfheartedly though she knew it wouldn’t reach her eyes. “Maybe too much.”

Thea looked at her for a long moment. The nod she gave her was only barely visible, but it was enough for Felicity to know that Thea understood. Whether Oliver’s experience with losing a woman he was with was enough of an explanation depended on his future actions. Felicity wasn’t stubborn enough to deny Oliver’s chance of forgiveness or a possible pass if he asked for it, but she wouldn’t do so just because Thea had asked. She wasn’t going to give him a free pass on this. As much as her heart wanted it, deep in her soul, Felicity just knew better than that.

* * * * *

At the sight of the wheelchair Sara was pushing in, Felicity scrunched up her nose. She could not be serious.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Sara said. “It’s a hospital rule that patients leave in a wheelchair, especially those who are releasing themselves from the hospital sooner than their doctors suggest.”

Felicity knew exactly that Sara was trying to not-so-subtly point out, what a bad idea it was to leave the hospital early. No matter what Sara would say, Felicity wouldn’t change her mind, though. After Thea had left yesterday, Felicity had lain awake in bed all night. Eventually, she had made the choice to go home early. At least at home, she had her own things around her. She could also work a little. With all the things she had started there, she didn’t want to be absent for too long.

Quentin and Sara had tried to talk her out of it, telling her to take the time she needed to really get back on her feet. According to Paul, it could be weeks or even months before she was back to who she was before, though. She might as well start the at-home part of her healing process now. Besides, Paul had already agreed to visit her at home for some physical therapy appointments over the next few weeks, so she was well taken care of. She had even told Quentin and Sara that she’d get a private nurse if that was necessary. They didn’t dread the work, though. They were just worried about her. It was sweet, even if slightly annoying.

“I think they want to prevent any actions of liability to be raised against them in case someone slips or whatever.”

Felicity had no idea if that was even a reason for an action of liability. She just figured focusing on the wheelchair was easier than focusing on how she was checking herself out of the hospital. She didn’t want to discuss this with Sara right now. Unfortunately, her sister refused to let her have her way.

“Are you sure you really want to go?” When Felicity shot her a glare, Sara quickly lifted her hands. “I’m just asking.”

“I’m sure,” Felicity said, the annoyance not the least bit hidden in her voice.

“Fine.”

Silence settled. Sara was checking the closets and the bathroom once more to make sure that they – and ‘they’ was mainly Sara since Felicity had trouble to stay on her feet for much longer than five minutes – hadn’t forgot anything when they had packed. Felicity just stayed where she was, sitting on the edge of the bed, and watched her.

“I’m sorry,” Felicity said eventually.

Sara looked up from the bag and perked up her eyebrows. “What?”

Felicity sighed. “I’m sorry. You are taking such good care of me. You’re picking me up from the hospital and help me pack my bag. You have even spent all your free time here in the hospital to entertain me instead of… doing something more fun. I’m sorry.”

Sara smiled and walked over to the bed. She tugged a strand of Felicity’s hair that had fallen from the low ponytail behind her ear with a smile. It was a gentle gesture that almost reminded Felicity a little bit of her mother.

“You just got shot. You are get a free pass.”

“Thank you.”

“Sure.” Sara smiled before she puckered her lips. “Anything new from Oliver?”

Felicity shook her head. “Thea said he’s been strange lately.”

“So, it’s over?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I guess so.”

“I’m sorry.”

Again, Felicity just shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not that bad.”

When Sara continued  to look at her, the expression in her eyes revealing that she actually wanted to object, Felicity looked away. During her first day awake in the hospital, when she had still been high on painkillers – well, higher than she was now – a part of herself had thought that she had deep feelings for Oliver, that she maybe she even loved him. She was lucky that it had just been the painkillers speaking. They always messed with her head a little.

Felicity felt an uncomfortable cramping in her stomach. She bit down on her tongue and sucked in a deep breath. She hoped the smile she was putting on when she lifted her gaze was at least partially believable. She doubted it reached her eyes, but she was so tired that maybe Sara would believe it was just the tiredness. Anyway, it didn’t matter.

“Let’s go, okay?”

Sara nodded. “Sure.”

Felicity held onto the footboard of the bedas should stood before she slowly turned around and sat down in the wheelchair. With a low sigh, she took the crutches and rested them over her thighs. As soon as they would leave the building, she would get up and walk the rest of the way. Paul had said that pushing herself to walk just a little bit further each day was just the right amount of training for her.

On the entire way down to the hall, Sara kept teasing Felicity by pushing the wheelchair so slowly that Felicity was close to jumping out of it and pushing Sara instead. It couldn’t be too hard, right? Should work like a walker after all. Felicity knew that Sara just wanted to keep her mind off anything too depressing – her kind of annoying state of health and the maybe not broken, but yet slightly cracked heart. Hence, Felicity just played along.

“Maybe we should take a break,” Sara suggested teasingly when she pushed Felicity out of the elevator on the ground floor. “You have to be exhausted after that long journey.”

“I am going to hit you with my crutches if you stop,” Felicity groaned.

Sara chuckled. “Has to be hard for a New Yorker of choice to live in some ease and calmness instead of busyness and chaos.”

“Sara, this is not ease. This is torture, and it is torture for everyone, not just New Yorkers whether they were born there or chosen to live there for-“

Felicity and Sara were only a few steps away from the automatic doors that led outside when the doors opened. Accompanied by his bodyguard and friend John Diggle, Oliver stepped in. He had barely put a foot over the threshold when his gaze drifted from John, who he had been speaking with, to Felicity. At the unexpected sight of Oliver, Felicity held her breath. Sara’s movements became  even slower before they stopped completely.

Nobody moved. Felicity’s eyes were focused on Oliver’s as he stared back at her. From the corner of her eyes, she could see his fingers rubbing together nervously. Just like Felicity, he seemed to be holding his breath.

A long moment passed in silence before the doors opened again, and the people stepping into the hospital lobby pushed Oliver and John out of the way, hence, pushing them more in Sara’s and Felicity’s direction. They were now standing only a couple of feet away from them. Oliver pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and hunched his shoulders.

“I thought Thea said you were being released at the end of next week.”

So, he had asked Thea about her. Or maybe Thea had just told him. It didn’t matter anyway.

“I’m getting cabin fever here,” Felicity said and shrugged her shoulders, biting down hard on her tongue when it made her side hurt badly. “I chose to go home and get better on my own terms.”

“What about physical therapy?” Oliver asked.

“I can do that at home.”

“You’re in a wheelchair.”

“Precaution. I actually wanted to walk.”

“Oh. I’m relieved.”

Felicity bit down on her tongue. Was he? The question was burning to be said, but she bit the comment back. During the last couple days she had wondered what was going on with Oliver, her worry about him had turned into anger. She really had thought she deserved better than this, better than not even getting a break-up and just being ignored until they accidentally ran into each other.

“You’ll surely have better food at home,” John said with a smile.

Felicity shrugged her shoulders once more. “I was spoilt. I got food delivered here every day.”

“Good to know someone is taking care of you.”

Of course Felicity knew that John’s words were meant as a nice, little thing to say. Unfortunately, they left a bitter taste in her mouth. Felicity did her best to not look at Oliver in that moment. Instead, she smiled forcedly and swallowed whatever words were on the tip of her tongue.

Once more, silence settled. Oliver didn’t say anything more. Felicity was about to ask Sara if they could leave now because she really would like to get home, but before she could do so-

“Felicity, I need to-“

“Mayor Queen.” A tall man with sparse hair and a wide smile stepped towards them. “What a nice surprise. Are you here to visit the victims of the shooting again?”

Oliver shot a brief glance back at Felicity. “Sorry. I gotta go.”

With that being said, he turned to the man and shook his hand. “Yes. Your wife called me yesterday and said your daughter was feeling a lot better?”

“Yes, she’s so strong. I guess you have to be if you are serving a voluntary internship at City Hall.”

“Absolutely,” Oliver agreed. “I thought if she was fit enough again, she’d also like to accompany me to visit the Hendersons.”

“Oh, I read in the newspaper their house burnt down last night?”

“Yes. It’s a tragedy,” Oliver replied. “I heard they weren’t severely injured, but I wanted to check on them nonetheless.

The two men walked to the elevators while they continued talking. Felicity bit down on her tongue, just sucking in a deep breath. She guessed that confirmed what she had thought.

“Hey,” John said, stepping closer. He leaned down a little. “Once you are a feeling better, you should come over to my place and meet my wife. You’ll like her.”

Felicity smiled. “Sounds nice.”

“Stay strong,” he told her, squeezing her shoulder as he walked past her.

Felicity nodded. She had long ago learned to be strong. She considered herself strong. She would get through this, too.

“Well, that was awkward,” Sara said. “I mean Ollie almost acted like- Hey, what are you doing?“

“I really just want to go home.”

Felicity grabbed her crutches and got up on her feet. She couldn’t sit in that damn thing any longer. Besides, it was just a few feet to the door. These couple of steps more or less wouldn’t change much.

“Okay,” Sara hurried to say, “but slowly. The streets have been icy.”

Sara parked the wheelchair against the wall next to the door and hurried the few steps after Felicity. It was indeed a little slippery outside. Sara seemed to sense that Felicity had problems walking on her crutches like that, and she quickly linked her arm with Felicity’s. She smiled at her in thanks.

Once they arrived at the car, Sara opened the door to the passenger seat and set the seat back so Felicity could get into the car easier. She held the door open and held her crutches while Felicity got in. Only when Felicity was seated comfortably, did she close the door and toss the bag and crutches into the trunk before getting in the car too.

“Traffic is going to be hell, but I brought music. You have free reign.”

Felicity smiled tiredly. “Thanks, but I’ll probably nap a little. You can pick whatever you want.”

“Okay,” Sara said. She reached over to the rear bench seats and grabbed a pillow. When Felicity looked at her with a frown, Sara chuckled. “I’m sleeping whenever I get the chance, even in my car if necessary.”

With a smile, Felicity took the pillow. “Thanks.”

She held the pillow against the window and rested her face against it. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Felicity slid down a little until she was completely comfortable. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes.

Even with her eyes closed, Felicity wasn’t able to shut out the memory of running into Oliver in the hospital lobby, though. Would he have said anything if those people hadn’t pushed him into their direction? And what would he have said if they hadn’t gotten interrupted in the end? Felicity had seen that he looked uncomfortable. She just wasn’t sure if it was because of his nasty behavior this week or because there was something else bothering him.

Felicity had spent a lot of time, way too much time actually, thinking about what might be going on with Oliver. It had taken some time before Felicity had started wondering if maybe there was something about what had happened to McKenna that had caused this. McKenna had been shot and lost her life after all. He had suffered from it, still did. Felicity had not only witnessed his suffering, but she had also been on the receiving end of Oliver’s actions of grief. He had given her his number and not called. He had kissed her and left right after. Yet, this felt like a huge thing unless he wasn’t getting better like she had thought he was. He could have talked about it with her, though, right? She had told him that she didn’t want him to pretend like McKenna had never existed in his life. They had spent almost an entire evening talking about her and-

When loud noise – well, technically, it was probably supposed to be music, but it sounded like noises – sounded through the small car, Felicity blinked through one eyes at Sara. She headbanged and pretended to be playing the drums. She used her key for additional sound effect at the same time.

“Oh, I am sorry,” Sara said innocently when her eyes opened, the smile she was trying so hard to bite back giving her away, though. “Is this keeping you from sleeping?”

“It’s fine,” Felicity said with a smile. “I just didn’t know this was your taste in music.”

Sara turned down the volume a little. “I am sure it’s a good lullaby.”

“Mhmmm,” Felicity hummed in agreement. “Sure.”

Sara chuckled quietly as she started the engine. Felicity adjusted her position a little bit more before she released a sigh. It wasn’t long before she dozed off, the exhaustion of running into Oliver and walking to the car crashing over her. Felicity felt like she had just closed her eyes when Sara put a hand to her thigh, though.

“Felicity?” she said quietly. “We’re home.”

Felicity opened her eyes and looked around with slight confusion. It took her a moment to notice that Sara was right. They were indeed right in front of their home. Just when Felicity looked at the door, it opened, and Quentin and Dinah stepped out.

“Dinah’s here?”

“Yes,” Sara replied with a smile. “Dad and I thought it would be nice if we all had dinner together. While we are cooking, you can rest some more. If you think that’s too much-“

“No,” Felicity said hurriedly. “No, it’s fine.”

If the last couple days in the hospital had proved anything to her, it was that she had a real support system here. She had a family and friends, people who cared about her so much already, even though she had barely been living here few weeks. It was amazing, scary, and overwhelming – all at the same time.

Quentin opened the door for Felicity before she got the chance to do so herself. She lifted her legs out of the car, one after the other. Quentin held out his hands, and Felicity held onto them gratefully, letting him pull her into an upright position. Immediately, his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

“I am glad you are home.”

“So am I,” Felicity replied.

She sighed quietly before she opened her eyes and saw Dinah and Sara exchanging a long gaze. She guessed Sara was trying to silent tell Dinah what had happened with Oliver before. Felicity pulled out of the hug.

“We thought we’d cook some lasagna,” Quentin told her. “Or do you want something else? It’s your choice.”

Felicity chuckled, but she hissed when it made her side hurt.

“Maybe we should get you inside first,” Dinah suggested. She pulled Felicity into a short hug before taking the crutches from the car and handing them to her. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Felicity replied with a smile.

She made her way to the house slowly. Dinah, Quentin and Sara followed her though she felt like it would be a lot easier if they went ahead given how slow she was.

“So,” Quentin said once they were inside, “what do you want for dinner?”

“It’s the perk of being a Lance,” Sara explained. “You get spoiled when you are sick.”

“And since the doc said you will need some time to fully recover, I guess you’ll be spoiled for a long time.”

“Indeed,” Quentin and Sara both confirmed in chorus.

Felicity looked at the three, smiling. She doubted she had ever felt more at home than she was here. Maybe Oliver had been right with that he had said about her mom protecting her from heaven, but she guessed she had sent her angels to continue helping her.

“Felicity?”

“What?”

Quentin chuckled. “Dinner?”

“Oh, right.” Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. “Lasagna sounds perfect.”

“Perfect,” Sara said. She rubbed her hands together. “Let’s get onto work.”

“I’m going to lie down for awhile, okay?” Felicity asked. “Just wake me when dinner’s ready.”

“We will,” Quentin replied. “Do you need anything else before you lie down?”

“No, I’m fine.” Felicity smiled. “Thank you all so much.”

“Not for that,” Sara told her. “Should Dinah carry you upstairs?”

“Because I could,” Dinah confirmed, nodding her head.

Felicity chuckled amusedly. “I don’t doubt that, but I think I can do this on my own.”

“Alright. I’ll be in the kitchen if you change your mind.”

Felicity waited until Quentin, Sara and Dinah had disappeared in the kitchen before she turned towards the stairs. She couldn’t deny that the sight of the mountain she was supposed to climb made her feel a little dizzy. If she could sink right into bed upstairs, maybe it wouldn’t be too bad, though. Halfway up the stairs, Felicity made a short pause to catch her breath. For a short second, she actually considered calling for help, but she climbed the rest of the stairs alone.

She stumbled the rest of the way to her bed. She dropped the crutches to the floor and let herself fall onto the mattress. Her chest was heaving, thin drops of sweat forming on her forehead. Felicity squeezed her eyes shut and focused on breathing evenly until her heartbeat slowed down and her muscles stopped shaking from exhaustion.

A wave of tiredness swallowed Felicity. With a sigh, she turned onto her side, careful to avoid exhausting her bruises too much. She pulled up the blanket and closed her eyes. While the tiredness was growing, Felicity’s thoughts just kept racing.

She might have lost what she had with Oliver – no, not might. She had lost what she had with Oliver. She still had a family and friends here, so, no matter what, she wouldn’t regret coming here. Her heart might ache more than it had in a long time, but it would heal again. She just knew it would.

Felicity had to swallow down hard to suppress the sob that was about to rise in her throat over the finality of the breakup. Tears were burning in her eyes, but she squeezed her eyes shot and focused on controlling her breathing, so she wouldn’t start crying. While Sara had been with her, Felicity had done her best to control herself. She didn’t want to be pitied or even comforted yet. She wasn’t ready.

She knew in the back of her mind that she felt more for Oliver than she would ever let on to herself as long as she wasn’t injected with another high dose of painkillers that messed with her brain. Yet, she couldn’t allow that thought into her head or, even worse, her heart, as long as she was sober. It would hurt too much.

Aside from the pain in her side, Felicity knew she couldn’t endure any more. With the minimum of painkillers, she was living on, all her pain tolerance was used up by focusing on not going crazy over the pain in her side. She couldn’t use any more pain. Hence, Felicity swore to herself that she would let this pain in for exactly as long as it took her to fall asleep. Once she woke up, she’d only focus on the bright side of life. She had a job she loved. She had a real family and friends who cared about her. That's what she would focus on while getting better, and getting better was where all her energy would be needed in the next months.

With that thought and a tight feeling around her heart, Felicity fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, four weeks after I have written the last chapter, I suddenly had an entirely different idea how to handle that. Oliver might have pulled Felicity impossibly close, trying to protect her from everything by giving her a bodyguard and other things until Felicity would have felt suffocated and left. It might have been a cool alternative, but I chose not to rewrite the story for a lot of reasons.
> 
> Anyway, there will be more of Oliver's perspective in the next chapter. It was probably my favorite chapter to write in this entire story. Don't forget to read it next week! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favorite chapters. The reason we explore Oliver’s perspective is to explain what happened in his head and caused him to run. It’s not to apologize his actions like nothing really happened. For me, that’s a difference. Enjoy.

“Ready to go?” Dinah asked with a smile.

With a sigh, Felicity came down from the last step of the stairs. She paused for a moment, waiting for her body to screw up in pain. Apart from the slightly pulsating pain in her waist, she was actually okay, though. It seemed like following the rules Paul had imposed on her were doing her good. One week after getting out of the hospital, she was still far from being back to normal, but she could walk short distances with the help of crutches without feeling like her body had been set on fire. Sitting down and getting up was what still really hurt her, feeling like the bullet was still running through her. She was working on it, but, as Paul liked to point out, she had come a long way, but had an even farther to go.

“Almost,” Felicity replied eventually. “If you could just help me put on my shoes.”

“Yes, of course.” Dinah quickly dropped her purse to the floor and grabbed a pair of black boots from under the hall tree. “These?”

“Yes.”

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Dinah knelt down in front of Felicity. She unzipped the first boot and held it out for Felicity. When she slipped her foot in, Dinah zipped the boot back up and repeated the same process with her other foot.

“Thank you.”

“Not for that,” Dinah replied as she got up. “Where’s Sara? We said we wanted to leave at seven. We’re going to be late for the movie if she-“

“Already here!” Sara called from upstairs and came running down to them. “We can go.”

“Perfect.” Dinah grabbed her purse. “I made reservations at the new Mexican restaurant in Pennytown for nine-thirty.”

“Sounds great.”

Sara helped Felicity into her coat before she knocked on the door to the kitchen, before opening it, “Dad, we’re leaving.”

Quentin stepped to the door, opening it further. “Have fun. What time do you think you’ll be back?”

Sara rolled her eyes slightly. “You do know that we are adults, right?”

“You do know that I will always be a dad, no matter how old my kids are, right?”

Sara shot him an amused glance. “You mean you will always be a cop, even when you’re at home, right?”

Quentin smiled sheepishly. “Maybe.”

Sara chuckled and kissed his cheek. “We’ll be back before midnight.”

“Good.” Quentin nodded before he looked at Felicity. “You usually need your painkillers around ten. Are you taking them with you?”

Felicity nodded. “They are in my purse.”

“Great.” Quentin then turned to Dinah. “Drive carefully.”

“Aye, aye, Partner.”

“What’s that delicious smell?” Sara asked, taking a look past Quentin into the kitchen. “Are you cooking?”

“Yes. A friend is coming over for dinner.” Quentin shot a brief look in Felicity’s direction. “Oliver.”

Felicity felt her heart clench painfully in her chest at the sound of his name. The silence that had settled between them since Oliver had left her hospital room almost two weeks ago had continued all through the last week. Oliver hadn’t tried to reach out again to explain or even just apologize for his silent treatment, nor had he asked how she was doing. Neither had Felicity. She wasn’t even sure if she still wanted him to reach out. While she wanted to know what had happened between talking about going to Bali and his sudden disinterest, Felicity wasn’t sure what she’d do with that information. It probably wouldn’t change anything anyway. It was why she had actually done her best to suppress any thoughts of Oliver. Physical therapy had been a good distraction, so she had been quite successful at keeping Oliver off her mind.

“I hope that’s okay with you?” Quentin asked.

Looking up, Felicity quickly put on a smile. “Sure. I mean… I told you it’s fine. We’re going to go now anyway, so… Have a nice evening.”

“You too.” Quentin nodded to the kitchen. “I’ll go check  on how the steaks are doing.”

While he went back to kitchen, Dinah turned to the door and opened it.

“Oliver.”

At the sound of his name falling from Dinah’s lips, Felicity lifted her head in surprise. Her eyes met Oliver’s. He seemed to be just as perplexed to see her as she was. The fingers of his left hand were rubbing together nervously, and his breath faltered for a long moment.

“Dad’s waiting for you in the kitchen,” Sara said, her voice slightly stiff. “We were just about to leave.”

“Yeah, Quentin told me you were going out tonight. I thought you would be on your way by now. Doesn’t your movie start at in fifteen minutes?”

“Yeah, we… are running a little late,” Sara replied.

Again, silence settled. Felicity could feel Oliver’s eyes on her, but she kept her gaze lowered. She didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes. She didn’t want to see him at all right now.

“Oliver is right. We should go, or we’ll miss the beginning of the movie,” Dinah suggested.

Oliver stepped aside, keeping a hand on the door to make sure it wouldn’t fall shut on him. When Dinah and Sara walked out, Felicity followed right after them. She felt Oliver’s eyes on her as she walked past him, but she continued to ignore him even though her stomach was doing the weirdest things – fluttering full of butterflies while twisting painfully at the same time.

Sara held the door to the passenger seat open for Felicity, so she could get in more easily. During the drive to the theater, Felicity was barely able to follow her friends’ light conversation. Her thoughts were still revolving around Oliver.

They hadn’t been together for long, and it hadn’t even been very serious. Yet, she was still so very disappointed about the way things had ended. She doubted that would change anytime soon. It was a good thing physical therapy was keeping her busy, and, since she planned on going back to work by Monday for at least a few hours each day, she was relieved to know she had a busy schedule to keep her distracted. Besides, with the holidays approaching, she was sure a lot of her free time would be spent hanging out with Quentin and Sara. She would certainly find ways to distract herself.

* * * * *

When there was a knock at the door, Oliver looked up from the report of the arson investigators. According to him, a gas leak had led to the explosion that had burnt down the Henderson’s house with everything in it. Documents, memories, basically everything they owned had been destroyed in a few hours time. It was a miracle that nobody had gotten seriously hurt. Still, these people had nowhere to go, to live,  and, since they weren’t insured, they probably wouldn’t anytime soon. They had spent the last few weeks in their friends’ house, but Oliver knew that was not a longtime-solution. With the holidays having passed, he was sure it was time to find one, though. Nobody could live with their friends for the rest of their lives.

Oliver tapped his fingers on the top of his desk. He wanted to help these people. Mr. Henderson had worked as a gardener at his parents’ mansion when Oliver had been a teenager. He was a good man, and he really needed help right now. If there was no other way, Oliver would personally build him a new home. He had no idea how to do so, but he would figure it out if need be. He just had to figure out a way and-

A knock at the door pulled Oliver from his thoughts. He lifted his head, briefly shooting a glance at the small clock on his desk. He wasn’t expecting anyone and was planning on leaving soon.

“Yeah?”

The door opened, and Thea stepped in, John following her a few steps behind.

“Ollie, we need to talk to you.”

“That sounds like a declaration of war.” Leaning back in his chair, he looked at Thea with a quiet chuckle. At the serious expressions on his friend’s and his sister’s faced, he perked up his eyebrows, though. “Why? What’s going on?”

While Thea sat down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of his desk, John stayed standing close to the door. Just like most people who had been present during the shooting, John’s protectiveness had increased since then. Nobody wanted something like the shooting to happen again. While it had been nobody’s fault, everyone was doing their best to prevent something like that from happening again. Everyone was more aware, and security had been increased in and around the entire building with the help of Curtis Holt.

Oliver’s stomach twisted painfully at the thought of the shooting. Automatically, his eyes found the photo of him and Felicity. He couldn’t  put it away, just like he had never been able to put the photo of him and McKenna away. He was sure it would be healthier and easier to get through the day without the pictures of the two women he had loved and lost, but he just couldn’t let go of those memories.

“That is exactly what we need to talk about to you,” Thea said.

Oliver frowned. “What?”

“Well, Felicity, obviously.”

Oliver’s frown deepened at the matter-of-fact look on his sister’s face. He shot a glance at John, who pursed his lips. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he nodded slowly. Oliver’s posture tensed in response.

More than four weeks had passed since he had left Felicity’s side at the hospital with the firm intention to only nap shortly before returning to keep her side at the hospital. More than four weeks had passed since he had left the hospital and never went back to see her again. Since his guilt and shame over how he had treated Felicity, ending their relationship without even telling her so, he had done his best to avoid talking about her. In the back of his mind, he had known that Thea, John or both of them would eventually break the silence and confront him. Yet, he’d done his best to delay this conversation for as long as possible. Even just thinking about Felicity made his heart ache so terribly with longing that he had trouble breathing. Talking about her  only made it worse.

“There is nothing to talk about,” Oliver said. “We broke up.”

“You mean you left that hospital room and never went back,” John corrected.

Oliver threw him an angry glare though he felt another wave of guilt crash over him. He knew John was just putting into words what Oliver could never say out loud. Hearing the truth was even worse than thinking it.

“Yes,” Oliver said, “which still brings us to the same conclusion, that we’re over.”

“You went to the Lances’ for dinner before Christmas,” Thea said.

“I had dinner with Quentin. Felicity was out with friends. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have gone,” Oliver told them. “I actually told Quentin that I wouldn’t be over for a while. I feel it’s disrespectful to Felicity.”

Oliver would lie if he said he hadn’t thought about seeing Felicity again. He had thought about calling for tech support or visiting Quentin, so he could just run into her. Despite his desire to know how she was doing and to see her, Oliver had continued to stay away, though. He hadn’t even given Felicity the package of coffee he had bought for her for Hanukkah. He didn’t want to send mixed signals. He had made his choice, and he’d stick with it now.

Admittedly, Oliver had doubted his decision from time to time. When he had seen Felicity in the hospital lobby the day she had left against medical advice, Oliver had been close to dropping to his knees and pleading with her to take him back. The words had been on the tip of his tongue when he had been interrupted. Seeing her again in her home hadn’t been any easier. He had been so surprised to see her that he had almost forgotten everything and went right towards her, hugging her so tightly that he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. Of course, he had known better than to actually follow that instinct.

Almost a month after breaking up with Felicity, he still missed her like crazy. He had thought that maybe, once a little time had passed, he’d just get used to his life and it would go back to the way it had been before he had met Felicity. They hadn’t been together for long, so he had felt it would make sense. He had been terribly wrong, though. These last couple weeks, he had only missed her more with each passing day.

For the first time since McKenna had died, Oliver had been really happy again. He had thought he’d never be happy again after he had lost McKenna. Felicity had proved him wrong. He had also believed he would never fall in love again. Again, Felicity had proved him wrong. Despite how different she and McKenna were, he had fallen in love with her.

Oliver shook that thought off quickly. He had made the right decision, especially because of the way he felt for Felicity. He was no good. He had hurt her terribly, and he’d only do it again if he changed his decision.

“Anything else you want to talk about?” Oliver asked. “Otherwise, you will have to excuse me because I am meeting Anna for lunch.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, looking from Thea to John and back to Thea. She had her lips pursed, probably having a lot more to say. She just released a long sigh, letting her shoulder sink, though.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Getting up, Oliver buttoned the jacket of his suit and went over to the cabinet where he kept his coat and scarf. He put it on, keeping his back turned towards John and Thea. He was sure they were looking at each other, considering what to do. 

“Now, if you could-“ Oliver nodded to the door as he turned back around to them. “I need to go.”

John nodded slowly. If the long sigh he released was any indication, he wasn’t happy with how this conversation had gone. He was probably disappointed in Oliver. He had told him time and again that he was happy Oliver was giving his personal life more attention by dating Felicity. His friend had worried a lot about him since McKenna had died.

While John headed to the door, Thea made a b-line for Oliver. She laid her hands on his shoulders, gripping them tightly to make sure she had his full attention when she said, “You should call Felicity, Ollie. Even if you don’t get back together with her – which would be a shame because the happiness she brought out in you had been missing for a longtime – at least you’ll have closure. I know that you regret the way you ended things with her, so at least make it right. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to Felicity.”

Oliver pressed lips together, looking at Thea intently. There was nothing but worry and understanding in her eyes. She really only wanted what she thought was best for him. Yet, Oliver didn’t know what to say.

“Tell Anna I said hi.”

Thea straightened up onto the tip of her toes to kiss his cheek gently. She squeezed his shoulders comfortingly before she turned around and walked to the door. John opened it, and followed Thea after she left. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, getting a grip on himself. He couldn’t be a mess when he met up with Anna.

Taking in a deep breath, he left a minute later. He drove himself to meet up with Anna instead of taking the limo. He always felt there was something weird about showing up everywhere in the limousine which was why he avoided it as often as possible. Since this was private, he wanted to go by himself instead of being escorted by John.

During the drive through the city, Oliver listened to music and let it relax himself. John and Thea had had terrible timing with confronting him about Felicity. Although the conversation hadn’t been nearly as bad as Oliver had thought it would be, he still felt unsettled about it. Anna knew him well, so he hope she wouldn’t notice.

When Oliver parked his car at the curb in front of Anna’s house, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. It was only when he was sure that he felt and looked okay that he got out. If Anna should notice something, he could still say it was because of work. Work really had been hectic since the shooting.

It only took a few seconds  after he had rung the doorbell for Anna to open the door.

“Hi,” she said before looking past him. She frowned, looking back at him. “You’re alone.”

Confused, Oliver replied, “Yes.”

Anna faltered for a moment before she chuckled, shaking her head and squeezing her eyes shut. “Sorry. I’m a little bit jazzed today.”

Oliver frowned and stepped closer, hugging Anna.

“Are you okay?” he asked her when he pulled away.

Anna chuckled and waved it off. “Of course I am. I’ve just been hurrying from one appointment to the another today, so I don’t know where my head is at. Come in. Lunch will be ready in ten minutes. I made Chicken Curry because I know it’s one of your favorite meals.”

“And it’s especially good when you are the one making it.”

Oliver followed Anna into the kitchen where he took off his jacket and scarf and threw it on the kitchen bench. While Anna stirred the pot of curry, Oliver set the table for them. He grabbed two glasses and poured them some water before he sat down. Anna stayed at the oven for a moment before she joined him. Crossing her arms on the edge of the table, she leaned forward and smiled at him.

“So, you said on the phone that you have big news?” Anna asked.

“I do.”

Anna smiled. “Shoot.”

“Well, I decided to finally attempt to build that gazebo McKenna always wanted in the garden. I feel like it’s the right project for summer,” Oliver said. “I actually have some construction plans in the car. I can get them and show them to you. I’d actually like your opinion and- why are you looking at me like that?”

Oliver frowned at the way Anna looked at him. The expression on her face was almost unreadable. With her lips slightly opened and her eyes showing surprise as well as concern and almost disbelief, he wondered if he had missed something. He just didn’t know what it could be. At his question, Anna squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head like she had done at the door when he arrived. She lowered her face for a moment, continuing to chuckle and shake her head. It made Oliver frown even more.

“What?” he asked gently.

“Nothing,” Anna hurried to say. “No, nothing. It’s fine. It’s a great idea and-“

“Anna,” Oliver said gently. He grabbed her hands and squeezed them gently. “What’s going on? If you think this is a bad idea, or you just don’t want to talk about it, it’s fine. I-“

“No,” Anna interrupted him, shaking her head. “It’s fine it’s just… never mind.”

Oliver cocked his head. “It’s just what?”

Anna took in a deep breath and sighed. “It’s just that, when you called and told me that you had big news, I actually thought you were going to introduce your new girlfriend to me.”

As soon as she had said it, Oliver felt a lump forming in his throat and his stomach dropping. He chuckled, trying to overplay his nervousness with amusement. He wasn’t sure it worked since his chuckle sounded a little too high.

“Why would you think that?” he asked quickly. “I mean why would you think I have a girlfriend?”

“Well, I saw the way you looked at Felicity at that restaurant,” Anna said softly. “When I saw you together, saw how at ease you looked around her, I really hoped that you had opened your heart to love again. It’s been two years, and I know that you have mourned McKenna at least as much as I have, but I think it’s time for you to move on, and the last thing I would want is for you to spend the rest of your life alone. It’s not what McKenna would want either. I really wish and hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you find someone new, Oliver.”

Oliver felt a sob rising in his throat and tried to hide it behind a chuckle. What came out was an almost whimpering sound, so he quickly pressed his hand to his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want Anna to see the tears welling there.

For four weeks he had done his best to keep pretending that leaving Felicity hadn’t been the right, but also the only choice, for a number of reasons. He had told himself he was no good for her. He had told himself he was being somewhat unfaithful to McKenna. He had told himself that it was safer to leave her now before he loved her and put his heart too much at risk with losing her. He had even told himself that he was breaking Anna’s heart by moving on with another woman after her daughter, who he had promised to love until his dying day, had died. He had known that at least the last reason was crap because Anna had never made him believe that she wanted anything for him but happiness.

“Oh, Honey,” Anna said, her voice full of sympathy. “I am so sorry. I know you planned to live your life with McKenna. If you are not ready now, that’s okay. I just don’t want you to close yourself off to the idea that maybe one day-“

“It’s not about that,” Oliver finally choked out. He wiped his hands under his eyes before he lifted his gaze to look at Anna. “You were right about Felicity. She was my girlfriend.”

Anna smiled softly though she frowned at the same time. “Was? Not anymore?”

Oliver shook his head, swallowing against the lump in his throat. “No. I broke up with her after the shooting at City Hall.”

“Why?”

“She was shot.” Oliver had to swallow hard again. Even thinking about how Felicity had lain in his office in a pool of her own blood and how long he had sat and waited for her to come out of the OR and for her to wake up made his stomach twist and a cold shiver run down his back. “She almost died. It… I was… I was so scared. I love her, Anna. I love Felicity, and… when I saw her there, I… I almost lost her just like I lost McKenna and-“

Another sob escaped his lips and stopped Oliver from continuing. He buried his face in his hands, trying to get a hold on himself. Since he had allowed his emotions to show now, he wasn’t very successful at locking them away again. All the guilt and the shame and the sadness and fear he had felt in the last month was crashing over him with a force he hadn’t thought was possible. He has thought it was safer for his own heart to break up with her before his feelings got to deep, but he had underestimated how deep Felicity was already engraved into his heart. Only now did he realize how deep his pain from losing Felicity really went. It had ripped a hole in his heart, leaving emptiness where nothing but warmth and love for her had grown since he met her.

Anna came around the table and sat down on the bench next to him. She put a hand to his back, rubbing up and down comfortingly while putting the other hand around his forearm and squeezing. Oliver took in a sniffling breath and lifted his gaze hesitantly.

“People die, Oliver,” Anna said softly. “Some die sooner than others. We both experienced that. Your father died before he should have. My husband died before he should have. McKenna died fifty years before she should have. Felicity survived, though. She got shot. She almost died. Yet, she survived. You didn’t lose her. The world didn’t take her away from you in an unfair and random act, so don’t rob yourself of that love. You know how short life can be, but you have to enjoy every second you get with her. You have to make the best of whatever is handed to you, no matter how long or how short your time together is. You cannot live in fear of losing her too soon when you can have a whole lifetime together. I understand you are afraid, but then be scared with Felicity. Share your fears with her instead of running away from her.”

Oliver knew in the pit of his stomach that Anna was right. Being open with Felicity was what would have been, probably still was, the right thing. Felicity had been so understanding of everything, and they had always been able to grow closer when they had been honest with each other and found a solution together. He had ripped that apart, though. He had ended things without talking to her or explaining anything to her. In the short time since he met her, he had hurt her so often because of McKenna, and Oliver didn’t want to do that again. He couldn’t be completely sure it wouldn’t happen again, though, and, as long as he wasn’t sure of that, he knew he’d only hate himself even more than he did now if he asked her to take him back.

“Is there anything else?”

“I-“

Oliver stopped, frowning. He lowered his eyes, unable to look at Anna while he was considering if he could actually tell her what was on his mind. He knew Anna was the only person who could tell him a truth he would believe. He just wasn’t sure if he could live with whatever she’d say.

“Tell me,” Anna prompted. “Please, tell me.”

Oliver took in a deep breath, gathering his courage to look Anna in the eye.

“Felicity told me that… she had a job offer from Queen Consolidated back in 2010. Since she mentioned it, I can’t get rid of the thought of what would have happened if she had taken it. What if I had met Felicity before I reunited with McKenna? I can only see two ways of how things could have turned out. The first is that I wouldn’t have fallen in love with Felicity, but that would always make her my second choice. That is not what I want for her. I don’t want her to be anyone’s second choice, especially not mine. The other possibility is that I would have fallen in love with Felicity which would make everything I had with McKenna a lie, and I can’t live with that, either.”

Since Felicity had mentioned that job offer, the implication of that had haunted him. As much as he had tried to push that thought away or looked at it from a different perspective, it had always come down to this. One of the two women he had ever truly loved was a second choice. That was what it always came down to, and he couldn’t bear that thought at all.

“I understand how you feel, Oliver,” Anna almost whispered, “but you are putting yourself in an impossible position if you think like that. You can’t live in the ‘what if’s. Fact is that Felicity didn’t take that job offer, and you didn’t meet Felicity before reuniting with McKenna. What happened is that you fell in love with McKenna, but she died, and now you are in love with Felicity. What could have or would have happened if things were different, is something that lies beyond our knowledge. Maybe you would have fallen in love with Felicity and left her for McKenna. Maybe you would have fallen in love with Felicity and would have never loved McKenna. Maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with Felicity and been with McKenna. We don’t know that, and it doesn’t matter. Felicity is not a second choice. She is another chance. She is another chance for you, another chance at love. Please don’t throw that away.”

Oliver took in a sniffling breath and looked down at their hands.

“I already did.” He swallowed down hard. “I haven’t talked to her in four weeks. I left her side at the hospital and never came back. She hates me.”

“You don’t know if that’s true.”

“Of course, I don’t. I know she should hate me, though.”

“You made a mistake, Oliver, a terrible mistake. You can earn forgiveness, though. Even if Felicity can’t give you another chance, you have to at least try. Otherwise, this will always be your worst regret. If it doesn’t work out, at least you will be able to look in the mirror again and know that you tried.”

Oliver squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. When he looked back at Anna, he was sure she saw a defeated man. It was how he felt, utterly defeated.

“I screwed up so badly, Anna, and I am scared of screwing up again and hurting her more.”

Anna nodded and squeezed his hand. “At the end of the day, you are the one who has to make the final decision. All I can tell you is that I believe, from the bottom of my heart, that all you have to do is try. You might be a little bit of a mess, but you are a mess worth having. I know I couldn’t have wished for a better man to love my daughter.”

Oliver smiled at her through the tears that were still welling in his eyes.

“Thank you,” Oliver said. “Really, Anna, thank you.”

Anna smiled and put her arms around Oliver’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. Oliver dropped his head to her shoulder, letting her comfort him. He wasn’t sure what he would do now, but it felt good to have the truth out there and to let out all the feelings that he had bottled up over the last couple weeks. He had a lot to think about now, and he would.

* * * * *

Felicity was just about to fall asleep when the doorbell roused her. She glanced at her watch and groaned when she realized it was only nine. She had no idea why she was so tired given that she had spent most of the day on the couch, watching movies and enjoying food.

When the doorbell rang once more, Felicity rolled her eyes. She was a lot better than she had been before the holidays. She had used her time in Central City, visiting Laurel with Sara over the holidays, to regain some more mobility. She could actually walk short distances without the help of crutches now. She preferred the crutches for longer distances, but fat home she could go without them completely. That being said,  she still wasn’t at the point in her recovery where she could run to the door.

Sighing, Felicity got up from the couch. She wrapped her blanket around her more tightly and went to the door. Since the heater upstairs was broken, Felicity had spent the day downstairs in Quentin’s part of the house. Luckily, Felicity should add, since that meant that she didn’t have use the stairs now. Stairs were still a lot of trouble for her.

Felicity opened the door, almost expecting Sara who had forgotten her key or Curtis who had a great idea for their project that he wanted to present to her immediately. Instead, Felicity was surprised to find basically the last person she had expected to visit her in front of her.

“Oliver.”

The surprise was clearly audible in her voice. Felicity didn’t even try to hide it. After four weeks of only seeing him twice, both times unplanned and weird, she was really surprised to see him here.  He looked exhausted, his hair tousled and the skin under his eyes carrying dark shadows. The fingers of his right hand were rubbing together like they always did when he was nervous. He held a nicely wrapped gift in his left hand.

“Quentin’s not here.”

“I know,” Oliver replied. He took in a deep breath. “I wanted to talk to you.”

Felicity tightened the blanket around her, crossing her arms in front of her chest under the thick fabric. She frowned slightly, leaning into the door frame.

“Really?” she asked. “A little late, don’t you think?”

Oliver shot a glance at his watch before he looked back at her again. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize  how late it was. If you want to sleep, I can-“

“I didn’t mean the time of day,” Felicity interrupted him.

Oliver pressed his lips together. “Of course you didn’t. I’m sorry.”

Felicity lowered her eyes, staring at her feet. She didn’t know how to handle the fact that he was here to see her. She didn’t know what to think of that at all. After four weeks of silence, she hadn’t thought she’d ever hear from him again. She had actually gotten used to the idea of not seeing him again.

“Can… can I talk to you?”

“Aren’t you already?” Felicity asked, lifting her eyes. When she saw the expression on his face, unable to name what it was, Felicity bit down on her tongue. “What did you want to say?”

Oliver took in a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for what I did to you. I was scared because of what happened with McKenna which is no excuse. I don’t want you to think that I am excusing my behavior. I just… I just want you to know that I didn’t plan on leaving you like that. I wanted to come back and continue planning our vacation together and be there for you during your physical therapy and everything. When I was at home alone and everything since the shooting crashed down on me, I just… I was so scared. I was so close to losing you like I lost McKenna, and I just figured the best way to protect myself from having to go through that again was to stay away from you. I-“

Felicity felt tears start to burn her eyes, but she held them back. In an instant, she felt all the anger she had felt for him wash away. A lot of her anger had ceased over the last weeks already. The little bit that had been left faded now at the sight of the deep regret in Oliver’s eyes.

She believed every single word Oliver said. She knew he was being honest with her, and that he was sorry for what had happened. This was what had happened from his point of view, and despite everything she had endured, she felt sorry for him. She had always felt sorry for what he had been forced to go through after McKenna’s death, so she felt sorry for the powerlessness he must have felt when Felicity had been shot and almost died like McKenna had. It was no excuse, but it was an explanation – just like he had said.

“I made a mistake,” Oliver continued eventually. “I made a terrible mistake, and I hurt you so badly. For that, I am truly sorry. I don’t know if there is any way to ever earn forgiveness or to… ever get back what we had. If there is even the slightest chance that you could give me another chance, I’d do whatever, whatever it takes to convince you. I love you, Felicity, and I’d like to get another chance to show you how much if you let me.”

Felicity felt her heart warming for Oliver, while it was clenching painfully in her chest at the same time. She knew he meant what he said. He regretted what had happened as it had been a reaction out of fear. He wanted another chance to prove to her how deep his feelings went and to make things right.

There was a part of Felicity  that was dancing with joy. Oliver loved her. He wanted her back. It was great. It was everything she had wanted when she had been lying in the hospital, waiting to find out what had happened. Weeks had passed since that had happened, though. A month had passed where she hadn’t heard anything from him. She felt like this confession of love, as sweet and as honest as it probably was, came a little bit too late to just move on from what had happened.

“Oliver,” Felicity whispered. She reached her hands out and cupped his cheeks, stroking her thumbs over his cheekbones gently. Her fingers were prickling, enjoying the touch she had missed for so long. “I believe what you say. I believe every word you just said came from the bottom of your heart.”

“But?” Oliver asked.

Felicity watched him while he was holding his breath, leaning his head into her touch. She felt terrible for turning him down with how honest he had been. It was time to protect her heart over giving out chances, though. She had suffered through enough, and she wasn’t going to do either of them a favor if she continued to keep giving Oliver chance after chance. She couldn’t make the same mistake again and again.

“I don’t think you’re ready,” Felicity whispered. “You are still mourning McKenna which is absolutely okay. There is no time frame for mourning the person that you loved and lost. You have to take the time you need. I respect that. I am not mad. I just think that what happened after the shooting proves that you are not ready to risk your heart again. It’s okay.”

Oliver swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple jumping up and down in his throat. “But it means I don’t deserve a chance.”

Felicity scrunched up her nose, stroking her thumbs through his stubble. “This is not about not deserving a chance. I’d probably give you one if I thought it made any sense. Right now, I think you need to-“

When black dots started dancing in front of her eyes, and she was about to lose her balance, Oliver held onto her hips.

“Are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

“I’m… dizzy,” Felicity replied. She squeezed her eyes shut. “I need to sit down.”

With his hands on her hips, Oliver directed her backwards and helped her sit down on the stairs. Felicity pulled her legs to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Do you need a glass of water?” Oliver asked, gently touching her knee. “Can I do anything?”

Felicity shook her head. “It’s going to pass. I just- just give me a moment.”

It had been a while since Felicity had last felt this dizzy. Since she was spending more time walking around each day, it had gotten a lot better. Still, with the feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed, Felicity guessed her energy and her physical strength had deplenished quicker.

When things started normalizing, Felicity lifted her head and opened her eyes. She was still feeling slightly nauseous, but she did her best to smile at Oliver. She stroked her hand over his on her knee.

“It’s okay. I am okay,” she told him. Taking in a deep breath, she frowned. “Where was I?”

“You were about to tell me why it doesn’t make sense to give me a chance now.”

Felicity nodded quickly. “Right. I- I don’t remember what I wanted to say.”

Oliver smiled comfortingly. “Can I say something then?”

Felicity nodded, leaning her head against the cool banister. Closing her eyes, she took a few deep breaths before looking at Oliver again.

“I’d like to have a chance to fight for you,” Oliver said. “I know you think I am not ready for a relationship, and I understand that. I haven’t given you any reason to believe that, and the truth is that I have a lot of work to do on myself. Yet, I’d like a chance to prove to you that I really do love you and that I do wanna be with you. Please.”

The pleading expression in his eyes made Felicity’s heart drop to her stomach. While she had been in Central City, she had had a lot of time to think. One of the conclusions she had come to was that she could forgive Oliver. Of course she could. She wasn’t one to hold grudges for long, not after what had happened between her and her mother, but while she was able to forgive, she wasn’t sure if that was enough.

“Oliver, I don’t see how that would be any good,” Felicity told him. She shrugged her shoulders. “I believe that you love me. Fighting for me is… I don’t think that would help anything. I don’t need you to show up here every day with flowers or to… I don’t know… hold a radio over your head in front of my window. I need to know that you are capable of being in a relationship through the good and the bad. I need to know that you are ready to get better and that you are getting better. I want you to do that for yourself rather than for me. If you are only doing this for me, it’s not going to help you. As a friend, I’ll do whatever I can to support you with that… I mean… if that works out somehow.”

Oliver looked disappointed – not surprised, but disappointed. Felicity felt her heart going out to him once more.

“Just… just think about it please,” he said. “I- I’d like a chance to show you that I am trying to work on myself. I can’t do that without your allowance, though. I hurt you so badly, I don’t want to hurt you anymore by trying to win back what we had when all you want is to be left alone. So, please, just think about it, okay?”

Felicity hesitated for a moment. Oliver was asking a lot of her, but she was sure it was a lot for him too. Since he stopped coming to see or talk to her after that day in the hospital, she knew it must have cost him a lot of strength to show up here and ask for forgiveness as well as another chance. Felicity wanted to acknowledge that. She was sure it was a big step for Oliver like their whole relationship had been. It didn’t change anything about her doubts, though.

With a sigh, Felicity squeezed her eyes shut. “Alright. I can’t promise anything, but I’ll think about it.”

“That’s more than I was hoping for.” A relieved, even if slightly nervous, smile formed on his lips. “Thank you.”

Felicity nodded. There was a long moment of silence. Felicity and Oliver were looking at each other. Her eyes lowered to his lips, and her stomach clenched painfully when she realized how much she missed kissing him. She hadn’t been able to enjoy their last kiss because she hadn’t known it would be their last. She had dreamed about kisses in Bali and so much more. There was an urge to lean forward and capture his lips in a gentle kiss, but Felicity knew it wasn’t a good idea.

“Should I help you upstairs?” Oliver asked, looking past her. “In case you feel dizzy again and-“

“I’m fine,” Felicity assured him. “Thanks.”

“Okay.” Oliver nodded and got up. He took in a deep breath and gestured towards the door. “I guess I’ll go now. Just let me know when you have made your decision regarding… us… and… yeah… bye, Felicity.”

“Oliver?”

“Hm?”

Oliver had already turned towards the door, but at his name he turned back around to her. His eyebrows were perked up and an almost hopeful smile was on his lips as if he hoped that she had already made up her mind. Despite her reservations, Felicity couldn’t help but think that it was incredibly sweet of him.

Felicity nodded to the gift in his hands. “Is that for me?”

“Oh,” Oliver said, looking down at it. He nodded quickly. “Yes. Yes, it’s for you. I wanted to give it to you before. It’s… it’s just a small thing. I had bought it for Hanukkah already. I canceled the other orders and-“

“Can I open it?” Felicity asked, gently interrupting Oliver’s babble. It was kind of sweet that he was babbling too.

“Yes, of course,” Oliver replied and handed her the gift. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants. “It’s just a small thing, nothing spectacular. It-“

Felicity ripped the paper apart and smiled at the sight of the pack of coffee. She looked up at Oliver.

“Is that the coffee you have at home?”

Oliver nodded. “Didn’t want you to feel like you have to stay with me or… come back to me now… to get good coffee.”

“Thank you,” Felicity said. “That’s really nice.”

Oliver smiled. “Goodnight, Felicity.”

“Goodnight.”

Oliver smiled at her for a moment longer before he turned to the door. He took a look back over his shoulder, lifting his hand for a short wave, and left. Felicity stayed on the stairs for a while longer, holding the package of coffee between her hands.

She was glad Oliver had reached out to her, but she felt like she had no idea what she should do know. This wasn’t a brain-versus-heart decision. Yet, her brain as well as her heart were divided on this. She wanted to give Oliver a chance. Her brain wanted it as well as her heart. Her brain told her he might not be ready yet, and her heart was sure she wasn’t either. She didn’t want to get hurt like that again.

She guessed she needed to find out which part outweighed the other.

* * * * *

Oliver stared at the photo of Felicity and him on his desk. Three days had passed since he had seen Felicity again and asked for another chance. He hadn’t heard anything as of yet from her which he understood. He was sure Felicity needed time to think about it. He just hoped in the end, she could give him another chance. He hoped he hadn’t hurt her so much that he had ruined any chance of a future with her or-

When his phone beeped, Oliver grabbed it and opened the text he had received. His heart skipped a beat when he realized that Felicity had sent it to him. As soon as he read the message a smile spread on his lips.

**F:** You can try, but I can’t promise anything.

It wasn’t very hopeful, but it was a first step. Now, it was on him to put all his energy  into proving to her that he wanted to work on himself. He had been given another chance, and he would do everything he could to put it to good use.


	12. Chapter 12

He tapped his fingertips against the cold surface of his desk in a slow rhythm. His eyes were focused on the photos of the two women that still owned his heart. A week after Felicity had given her approval for him to fight for her, Oliver still wasn’t a single step closer to figuring out how exactly to do so. The dilemma of finding a way to show Felicity that he was willing and ready to work on himself, so he would be ready for a relationship, without feeling like he was forgetting about McKenna, seemed to be unsolvable.

Even without wanting to keep McKenna’s memory in his heart, Oliver had no idea what to do to convince Felicity that he wanted to be with her. It was exactly like she had told him, and why she had been hesitant to agree in the first place. Buying flowers for her as well as any of the other huge romantic gestures that were shown in movies really wouldn’t get them anywhere. She didn’t need to be convinced that he loved her. She needed to be convinced that he saw a future with her without having his past pull him back so hard that he hurt everyone around him, starting with her.

So, where did that leave him? What was he supposed to do?

Oliver had considered going to therapy. Maybe, if he talked to a professional about his problems and fears, he could figure out how to move on. He could figure out where exactly his problems came from, what he feared about the future and how to move past it. Apart from the fact that Oliver just wasn’t much of a talker, he also kind of already knew what his problems were, though.

His first and most important problem was that Oliver feared losing another woman he loved. McKenna’s death had hit him so hard that it had felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest and torn into a million pieces before being stuffed back into his chest. For two years he had lived with a shattered heart beating arithmetically, making him feel like a broken man. The fear of something like that happening again had caused him to run from the one woman who, since McKenna’s death, had given him the feeling that he was still alive.

The second problem was that his latest reactions to this fear had caused him to hurt Felicity. He had asked for her number, but he hadn’t called. He had kissed her and ran away. She had been shot, and he hadn’t supported her recovery. He had left her alone. He had gone through that again and again. He had tried to imagine how he could make things better from here on out, but the fear that he would continue to run, no matter how much he wanted to work on himself, was still there. He loved Felicity, and the last thing he wanted was for his broken self to break her.

The third problem was that McKenna was still an ever-present part in his life. He carried her in his thoughts as well as in his heart. He went to her grave at least twice a week. There were a lot of photos of her displayed in his office and at his home. At home, sometimes it actually felt like McKenna could still come home after a hard day of work, falling onto the couch and demanding a massage. He hadn’t changed anything in the house after McKenna had died. Everything was still the same as it had been before she had died – the same floors, the same colors of the walls, the same furniture. He hadn’t changed anything.

Now, while Oliver knew what his problems were he still didn’t know what to do about them. He-

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts. He lifted his gaze from the photos to see the silhouette of what could only be John behind the milk glass.As much as Oliver didn’t want company or to really talk to anyone, he was grateful to have a distraction from his problems that he still has no answers for.

“Yeah?”

“Why are you here?” John asked.

Oliver released a short chuckle. “This is my office.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” John sat down in one of the chairs facing Oliver’s desk. He leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Weren’t you invited to dinner?”

“I am. Quentin got stuck at work a little longer than planned, so dinner was delayed, though. I’ll leave in thirty minutes.”

John nodded slowly. “Is Felicity going to be there?”

Oliver was tempted to roll his eyes. John, as well as Thea, were quite predictable and not so subtle. Over the last few days, they had both started seemingly innocent conversations with him, only to address Felicity and Oliver’s progress – or lack thereof – in winning her back at the first opportunity given. Oliver knew they meant well, but they only made him realize that he still hadn’t made any progress.

“She is,” Oliver replied.

Again, John nodded slowly. “How is she doing?”

Oliver swallowed down hard, lowering his eyes. He hadn’t dared to ask her how she was doing or to contact her at all. Felicity had barely been able to bring herself to agree on letting him fight for her. He didn’t want to push his luck. He wished he had used their last conversation to ask for ground rules in fighting for her. With ground rules being set, he’d at least know what he was or wasn’t allowed to do.

“Have you figured out a plan to better yourself and win Felicity back?”

With a groan, Oliver let his head fall into his hands. “If you are here to rub in everything I haven’t achieved yet, you are doing a fantastic job.”

An amused smile ghosted over John’s face. “So, what’s the problem? You still want to get better and earn Felicity’s trust back, right?”

“Of course I do,” Oliver almost hissed, lifting his gaze to look at John. “I want to get better, and I want to earn another chance with Felicity. I just don’t know how I can show that I want to get better or how to get better at all. I can’t force myself to forget about McKenna and what we could have had if she hadn’t died or-“

“I don’t think Felicity wants you to forget about McKenna.”

At John’s calm interruption, Oliver looked at his friend and nodded. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

“I know,” he whispered eventually. “I know she doesn’t. I just don’t know what to do.”

“I think you do. You’re just afraid of taking the first step.”

Oliver looked at John once more. He had always seen John as more than just his bodyguard. He had been a friend who had always supported him, listened to him and offered advice.

“And that is?”

John chuckled. “I don’t know, but I can see in your face that you know.”

Oliver nodded slowly, once more going through the thoughts had had occupied him the past few days. If John was right, and he usually was, the answer should be somewhere there.

“I am considering going to therapy,” Oliver said eventually.

John nodded slowly. “When my brother died, I joined a therapy group, too.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yes.” John shrugged his shoulders. “It helped to talk to others who had experienced something similar. It’s not easy to talk about things, but it helps in the long run. You just have to keep going. It takes some time before you open up enough to actually take something from it.”

When Oliver nodded, he lowered his head. His gaze landed on the report the arson investigators had put together about the fire at the Hendersons. While Oliver had tried his best to find a solution for their problem, he still hadn’t found one. Mr. Henderson’s reaction to Oliver’s suggestion that he would buy or even build them a house hadn’t been as joyful as Oliver had expected. Apparently, Mr. Henderson blamed himself for the lack of insurance that didn’t cover the damage. He felt like he had to find his way out of this dilemma on his own.

Oliver understood that Mr. Henderson didn’t want to live off charity. He wasn’t sure if it was a reasonable decision, especially given his kids, but Oliver understood and accepted it. Thinking about it now, he figured there might be a way to solve the Hendersons’ problem of where to live without offering any favors. Actually, they might be able to do him a real favor.

Oliver looked at the report for a moment longer without reading a single word that was written in the report. He kept formulating his idea, and to his own surprise, Oliver felt like this was the absolute right thing to do.

“I think I am going to move,” Oliver said with a firm voice, looking at John. “When I moved in with McKenna, that was always supposed to be a temporary thing. I think I need my own place.”

“Last week, you were planning on building a gazebo in the garden.”

“I know.” Oliver sighed. “I’ve been struggling with making any major changes since McKenna died. If I changed something, I changed it in the way she would have liked it, but that’s the problem. Well, at least it’s part of the problem. As long as I keep clinging to everything we had together, I won’t  be able to move on.”

“Moving is a big step, though.”

Again, Oliver sighed, nodding his head. “But it’s the right thing to do. When we decided to move in together, moving into her house felt like the best solution. We thought we’d delay the process of finding somewhere to live for the rest of our lives until we knew where that life was heading. It’s why I never changed anything apart from the kitchen because I always saw it as her house, and a place that I only moved into. Before McKenna died, we actually talked about finding somewhere new. We wanted to look for a bigger house to move in, so we had room for the kids we wanted to have and… just have something that was ours rather than hers.”

“You sure you’re ready for that?”

Oliver held his breath for a moment, feeling his body tense, before he said, “Well, we’ll find out I guess.”

He took the phone and googled realtors in Starling City. Since he had no real experience with realtors and none of the names told him anything, Oliver just clicked on the first number available. His heart was still beating steadily when he held the phone to his ear, waiting for someone to take his call.

“Adams & Darhk Realtor, Ruvé Adams.”

“Hi,  I’m Oliver Queen.”

“Mayor Queen,” Ruvé Adams’ friendly voice said in a cheerful singsong. “What a nice surprise. What I can do for you?”

“I am looking for a new place to live, and your number was the first I found, so I thought you could help me.”

“Of course, Mayor Queen,” She replied immediately. He could hear her tapping on a keyboard before she asked, “What in particular are you looking for?”

This was the first moment since he had decided to find a new place to live that Oliver hesitated. So far, he had only had lived in two places – his parents’ mansion and McKenna’s house. He didn’t count the time he spent the many colleges he went to and lived at the dorms as most of the time had been spent in bars or with friends anyway. The mansion and McKenna’s house, though both very beautiful in their  own ways, weren’t places he would have picked for himself.

“Mayor Queen?”

Oliver quickly cleared his throat. “Sorry. Yes, of course. Uhm… I’d prefer something open and modern like a penthouse or loft. At least two bathrooms and two separate rooms in addition to a large open living area. A balcony would be great, too.”

“Mhm,” Ms. Adams hummed in agreement. “Alright. Anything else? Anything that is particularly important to you?”

“A good kitchen would be great, but it’s not a necessity. I can renovate if needed.”

“Do you have a price range?”

“Around three million.”

When John perked up his eyebrows in surprise, it didn’t go unnoticed by Oliver. He nodded to one of the small file cabinets against the wall where a photo of his family was placed. His parents had arranged trust funds for him and Thea when they had been children. Since he was twenty-five he was allowed to use the money for whatever he wanted. Buying a house seemed to be the best use of the money.

“Okay, Mayor Queen, I already have two or three ideas. I’m going to do some more research to see what else is available. When would you like to meet up?”

“Whenever you have time,” Oliver replied. “I’d be very grateful if you could hurry. I’d like to move as soon as possible.”

“Alright. I’ll look at my schedule and contact you tomorrow to set up an appointment.”

“That’s great. Thank you, Ms. Adams.”

He hung up the phone and looked at John, perking up his eyebrows. He didn’t know if he expected him to applaud him or tell him it was a good idea. John just stayed silent, though. He seemed to be waiting for Oliver to say something instead.

“It feels good,” Oliver said after a moment and sighed. “I am surprised that that’s the truth, but it is. It feels good to take this step.”

John nodded. “Then I am sure it is the right thing to do for you. If you need help moving, you know where to find me.”

“Yeah, I do. Thanks John.” Oliver smiled and glanced at his watch. “I gotta go, but can you do me a favor?”

“Sure.”

“Can you meet with the Hendersons and tell them that I would like them to move in McKenna’s house once I have moved out? I am not sure they will believe me when I tell them that they’d actually do me a favor because that way I knew that McKenna’s house was in good hands and in the hands of someone who could really need it. I am sure that is what she would have wanted. Can you tell them that?”

John nodded. “Of course, but don’t you want to talk to Anna about it first?”

For a second time, Oliver hesitated. He shook his head even though his fingers were rubbing together nervously. He hadn’t thought about Anna until John had brought her up.

“No, I am sure she’d agree with me. I am going to tell her the next time I see her.”

John nodded again. Meanwhile Oliver grabbed his coat and walked to the door. He was feeling weirdly light like he hadn’t just made a life-changing decision that he had dreaded for so long. As hard as he knew it would be to leave the home where so many memories of McKenna were made and kept, and to not to go back there, he knew it was the first real step towards the future he wanted with Felicity. He had always wanted to live in a loft, so now seemed to be the perfect time to try it.

“Oliver?” John held him back before he could leave. When Oliver turned to him, John was smiling quietly. “You really are trying to get better, right?”

Oliver thought about it for a moment before he smiled and nodded. “I am. I think for the first time since McKenna died, I really want to get better and move forward with my life.”

“Felicity is a good motivation, hm?”

Oliver smiled. “She is. More importantly, though, she opened my eyes to see that, when McKenna died, I didn’t die with her. I am still alive, and I have to make the best of my future.”

“She’s a smart woman.”

“So smart,” Oliver replied with an almost dreamy tone. “Night, John.”

While Oliver was driving through the city to Quentin’s house, he thought about what the place he would move in to might look like. He thought it was a good idea to focus on what was to come instead of what he would have to leave behind. Moving into a new place would be painful, but there was also a lot of excitement and so many possibilities that would come with it, to find out more about himself.

He would only take his clothes and personal things with him. Everything else, he would just buy new. It would be a lot of work, but it was the only way to really move on. Moving out of McKenna’s house but taking all her furniture with her would be a half-ass move. He wouldn’t do that. If he took any furniture with him, he would limit it to one or two pieces. There was an old secretary desk and a leather armchair that he might take. Those had always been his two favorite pieces of furniture in the house. He and McKenna had found them at a garage sale. He could build everything else around it.

His calmness unsettled Oliver a little. He had fought any change and any steps into a future away from McKenna for so long, he had thought it would be harder to even think about change now. Maybe it was the feeling of missing being alive, the feelings that Felicity had reconnected him with, or maybe it was Anna’s reassurance that what he was doing was alright, but he really wanted to move on. It was going to take some time, and it wouldn’t be easy. Yet, he could feel in his bones that he was ready.

With that amazing feeling, Oliver knocked on the door of Quentin’s house. When the door opened, Oliver was ready to greet his friend exuberantly but, to his surprise, it wasn’t Quentin who stood in front of him.

“Felicity.”

To say Oliver was surprised would be an understatement. His heart jumped into his throat, his breath hitching. Quentin had told him that Felicity would be out at a work-related dinner.

“What-“

“Living,” Felicity replied before he could ask. “I am living here. That is what I am doing here.”

“Of course.”

Oliver pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and lowered his eyes. There was no doubt that there was some passive aggressiveness in Felicity’s voice. Oliver couldn’t hold it against her. The situation had to be terrible for her. He had hurt her, but he had still asked for another chance. She had agreed, but it didn’t wash away his mistakes. He still hadn’t showed her that he was even just a little bit better or trying to get better. Yet, he stood in front of her door and asked for entrance to her home. He’d be passive aggressive if he was in her place too.

“Quentin said you were out for dinner tonight. Otherwise, I would have texted you and asked if it was okay if I came over.”

“Dinner was canceled.”

Felicity walked back into the house, leaving the door open for him. Oliver was still figuring out what to do with that piece of information when he felt a few raindrops land on his head. He quickly stepped into the house and closed the door behind him.

“The work dinner was canceled or this dinner?”

“The work dinner,” Felicity called from the kitchen. There was a moment of pause before she added, “It doesn’t look good for this dinner either, though. Quentin headed out to get some spice he said was essential for the sauce and asked me to keep an eye on the food, but, honestly, I am not sure food is supposed to look like that.”

With an amused smile, Oliver took off his coat and threw it onto the stairs. When he stepped closer to the stove, Felicity stepped aside, giving him room. He turned down the heat and took the pot off the burner, stirring the sauce thoroughly to stop it from clumping together.

A long moment of silence settled. Oliver wasn’t sure if he should say something. He still wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to be here. Felicity’s stiff and rejected behavior, though absolutely understandable, lead him to believe it might be better if he left. He didn’t know how to address that without the risk of it  sounding like a reproach, though. 

“You’re walking without crutches?” Oliver asked eventually, still focusing on stirring the sauce.

“At home, yes,” Felicity replied.

Oliver shot her a brief glance, but he quickly looked away again. If her short answer was any indication, he really shouldn’t be here. Biting down on his tongue and gathering his courage, Oliver turned towards her.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked. “It’s okay if you do. I understand that. I want to give you the room you need and not force myself on you.”

Felicity looked at him for a long moment. Her eyes were intent, almost like they tried to reach through his eyes right into his soul. Oliver felt the urge to look away, but he kept his eyes on her. With a held breath, he waited for Felicity to reply. 

“I… I don’t know how to deal with you being here,” Felicity told him. “I am not angry anymore, or at least I thought I wasn’t angry anymore. When you are here, I am just… I don’t know.”

Oliver nodded. “So, I’ll leave?”

Felicity shook her head, looking away. “No, you can stay. It’s fine.”

“Thanks,” Oliver whispered. He faltered for a moment before he said, “Maybe we could set some ground rules.”

Felicity looked up, frowning at him. “Ground rules?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “About whether or not I am allowed to call you or text you or come over here. I, uhm, wanted to text you and ask how were doing earlier this week, but I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to do that. Like I said, I don’t want to force myself on you.”

For a long moment, Felicity just looked at him. She shrugged her shoulders then.

“I guess it’s fine to text and call,” Felicity said and took a sip of her water, “or come over for Wednesday dinners.”

“Okay.” Oliver nodded. “Thanks.”

“Sure.”

Again, there was silence. Oliver hoped that Quentin would come back soon because otherwise the sauce might be ruined. Since stirring it was all Oliver felt he could do to seem busy, he just continued with it, though.

“How are things going at City Hall?” Felicity asked eventually.

Oliver shot her a brief smile. “Good. The tech is working a lot better. Thanks for that.”

“It’s my job,” Felicity replied, “but you’re welcome.”

When another silence threatened to settle, Oliver gathered his courage and said, “I am planning on moving.”

Felicity lifted her eyes at him. “What?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I called a realtor, and she’s searching for a new home for me.”

Felicity hesitated. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? It’s a huge step.”

“It’s time,” he said. “I mean it’s a huge step, just like you said, but it’s a good thing. It actually really is a good thing too. I want to give the house to the Hendersons. You know the family whose-“

“-house burnt down,” Felicity finished, nodding her head. “I heard about that.”

Oliver smiled briefly. “Of course you have.”

Felicity started occupying herself with going through the few envelopes that were lying on the table. Oliver guessed she was pretending to look busy so she had time to process his news. She was frowning slightly, though, making him guess what she was thinking. A part of him wanted to ask, but thought it better to wait and see if she would tell him.

Another silence was just about to settle when they heard the front door  unlock. They both turned their heads to see Quentin coming in. He shot a short gaze back and forth between his stepdaughter and his friend as if he was trying to figure out what was going on, how they were feeling. After taking in the scene in front of him, he lifted a small plastic bag that held the missing curry.

“Got the curry. Forgetting the spice that gives the sauce its name can only happen to me.” He quickly took off his coat and stepped to the stove. “It didn’t burn yet. That’s good.”

“Well, truth be told, it would have burnt if Oliver hadn’t shown up,” Felicity said.

“I just… took it off the heat,” Oliver replied, shooting a brave look at Felicity. “It’s nothing you couldn’t have handled yourself.”

Snorting, Felicity got up and grabbed some plates from one of the cupboards to set the table. As she walked past him, she mumbled, “Have you ever seen me cook?”

* * * * *

“Ms. Smoak, what a nice surprise.”

Felicity frowned at Becky’s surprised greeting. Grinding her teeth together against the pain – she had overestimated the distance from the underground parking lot to the reception area at City Hall, especially after she had already been on her feet for almost an hour before – Felicity approached Becky’s desk. She stepped in front of it with a smile.

“I guess Thea didn’t tell you that I would be by today to install a few new programs and features for the intranet settings?”

“No, Thea called in sick this morning,” Becky replied. “She must have forgotten. Mayor Queen is in his office at the moment, but he’s just looking through some files. I am sure he can work from his sister’s office. Do you want me to go in and talk to him or-“

“I’ll do that,” Felicity said hurriedly. She smiled. “Thank you.”

As much as Felicity had hoped that Oliver wouldn’t be here, hearing that he was here actually felt like a relief right now. Since the awkward dinner two weeks ago, they hadn’t seen each other. Oliver had texted her from time to time, asking how she was doing. That jsf been all the contact they had had. While Felicity was glad that they hadn’t seen each other again because said dinner two weeks ago had proved how weird things were between them, she couldn’t deny that she had missed him.

Fact was that the situation between them was difficult. Felicity understood, as much as empathy allowed, what had caused Oliver to run and leave her alone when she had needed him. It was why she had agreed to give him another chance, but it didn’t erase the pain he had caused her. It didn’t take away the fear of being hurt again, and that fear made it really hard to find a way to let Oliver be part of her life. For some reason, it had turned back into the anger she had thought she had already moved past after they had last seen each other.

“Come in,” Oliver said as soon as Felicity had knocked.

Taking in another deep breath, Felicity opened the door and stepped into his office. Oliver glanced up from his papers shortly, like he just wanted to check to see what Becky wanted real fast. As soon as he realized that it wasn’t his assistant but Felicity at the door, he quickly lifted his gaze once more.

“Hey,” Felicity said with a smile.

“Hi,” Oliver replied, his eyes filled with surprise. He briefly shook his head, smiling. “Sorry. I had no idea you were stopping by today.”

“Yeah, I told Thea I wanted to work on your computer system for a bit. Your assistant told me she was sick. I guess she forgot to tell anyone that I was coming over.”

“Mhm.” Oliver cleared his throat. “She certainly forgot.”

Something about the way Oliver responded made Felicity believe that Thea probably hadn’t forgotten. Since her release from the hospital, Felicity couldn’t deny that Thea had been quite blunt about making sure Felicity knew that she hoped that Oliver and Felicity would get back together. It had actually been kind of sweet to see how she fought for her brother.

“If this is inconvenient-“

“Oh, no.” Oliver quickly got up. “No, no. Make yourself at home. I am just going to grab these files and… sit over there?”

Oliver gestured to the sitting area. For a moment, Felicity wondered if his question had actually been meant as a question. When she saw Oliver looking at her intently, though, waiting for her agreement, she nodded quickly.

“Sure.”

While Oliver gathered his papers and moved over to the sitting area, Felicity took a seat behind his desk. She didn’t miss that their picture was still placed next to the one of McKenna and him. Felicity didn’t know if it surprised her. She was sure it shouldn’t given that Oliver wasn’t hiding that he loved her and wanted to be with her.

“Do you want a coffee or some water?”

“No, thanks,” Felicity replied, shooting Oliver a short smile. “I’ll just work through this quickly and be gone. I have some other appointments in the city, so I can’t stay very long. By the way, I mean the real be gone as in go, went, gone and not the colloquial gone as in dead. I am not dying here in the next twenty minutes. Maybe from embarrassment, but, yeah…”

Felicity shook her head, frowning slightly. Where had that babble come from?

“Well, I hope you don’t die here in the next twenty minutes, so thanks for your reassurance.”

When Felicity shot Oliver a brief look, she saw him grinning in amusement. Felicity bit down on her tongue, biting back a smile of her own. A moment like this actually reminded her of how easy it was to be with Oliver. Since there was no chance of them getting back together until Oliver worked on moving on from the past and he proved to her that he was really ready to  move on, Felicity had trouble admitting that, though.

For the next ten minutes, they both worked in silence. Felicity did her best to not make too much noise as she tapped away at the keyboard, but it was much easier said than done, especially since she was trying to finish as soon as possible. Every once in a while, Felicity shot a brief look towards Oliver, wondering if the situation felt as weird for him as it did for her.

Maybe she should take some time later today and do some research. Maybe there were some guidelines or tips on how to deal with your ex-boyfriend, who had hurt you, but who hadn’t meant to hurt you and who actually loved you and wanted to get better and be with you again and who you were kind of in love with too, but you wouldn’t admit that as long as you weren’t on painkillers. That had to be the kind of problem that millions of women all over the worlds were affected by, right?

It wasn’t long before Felicity’s typing slowed. She just had a few more key punches to finish the commands. The time of waiting for the programs and updates to be installed would start then. Since she couldn’t hide behind her work once that started, she figured it was best to start thinking about what to say once she pushed the last key. Her finger was already hovering over the enter-key when she caught sight of the small pile of listing from Adams & Darhk Realtor on his desk.

“So,” Felicity started slowly once the install process started, leaning back into her chair, “how is moving going?”

Oliver seemed to be relieved for the interruption. He dropped the file he had just been reading onto the small table and leaned back with a sigh.

“A lot better than expected. I signed the purchase agreement last week. Thea and I spent all last week buying furniture. Most of it will arrive by the weekend. I also packed all my stuff up, so I can move in this weekend.”

Felicity perked up her eyebrows. “Wow.”

Oliver chuckled. “Yeah, I was surprised too. Ms. Adams showed me two places. As soon as I set a foot into the second, I knew it was what I was looking for. It’s a loft with an open concept living area over two floors, with a couple bedrooms. It’s really cool.”

“Sounds quite different from your home now.”

“It is,” Oliver replied with a sigh, nodding his head, “but different is actually better. Things need to change.”

Felicity smiled, not knowing what to say. If Oliver was proving something, it was that he was really trying his best to make this work. He was really trying to move on. Felicity couldn’t even imagine how hard that really was. Well, maybe she could imagine it a little given what it had cost her to move on from her mother’s death and the guilt of never having forgiven her completely.

“So, things are moving along?”

Oliver smiled. “Kind of. I will have to live out of my moving boxes for a while, but I think that’s okay.”

Felicity cocked her head. “Too much to do?”

“Yes, and Thea is sick. She wanted to come over Saturday to help me unpack. John is helping with the furniture, Thea was supposed to help with the boxes. I thought getting used to living in a new place was easiest if it really felt like a home from the start. I doubt I will get everything done this weekend without Thea’s help, though. Besides, I was counting on her advice in style and decoration a little bit.” Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t mind a little chaos. It’s going to work out nonetheless.”

Felicity watched Oliver when he leaned back and rubbed his hands over his face. It was only at this moment that Felicity realized how tired he actually looked. She guessed he had put a lot of energy into trying to get the ball rolling on moving and his recovery in general.

“I could help.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Are you sure?”

“Don’t ask,” Felicity said with a chuckle, holding her side when it made her waist hurt, “or I’ll change my mind.”

Oliver cocked his head. “Felicity, you know how much I would love to have you there, but, if you are unsure, you really don’t have to. I made a mistake, a lot of them actually, and I am trying to take the responsibility for that. Everything that concerns the two of us and our relationship will be dealt with in whatever pace you feel comfortable with. The last thing I want is for you to feel pressured to… help me or… spend time with me.”

Felicity smiled sadly at the expression in his eyes. He was really trying to do the right thing, letting her know that he wanted something more while still respecting the time and room she might need. Of course Oliver had made mistakes. There was no denying that was true. Yet, Felicity didn’t want him to beat himself up for that. That she needed time, space and change to move forward with him didn’t mean that she wanted him to think that he was a bad person. Felicity could tell the difference between bad choices and bad people.

“Oliver, I told you that, as a friend, I will try to support you. So, if you need a friend…”

Oliver nodded. “I do. Thank you, Felicity.”

“You’re welcome.” Felicity smiled. “I just can’t carry anything heavy. Apart from that, I can do whatever you need me to do. For moving. I can do whatever you need me to do to help you move.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

When the computer beeped, Felicity looked at the monitor, seeing that the install was finished.

“Nothing,” Felicity replied to Oliver, “because I have to go. Just send me the address and when I should come over.”

“I will. Thanks for helping out.”

“Sure.” When Oliver started to get up, Felicity gestured for him to stay where he was. “No, no. It’s fine. I will see myself out. Tell Thea I said hi if you see her and I’ll stop by with some soup or something tonight.”

“I am sure she will appreciate it.” Oliver smiled. “I’ll text you?”

Felicity nodded. “Yeah. See you, Oliver.”

“See you.”

With a  short wave, Felicity pushed the door open and left. As she made her way to the elevator, she smiled. Things with Oliver hadn’t gotten easier, but maybe they had found a way to be around each other while things were still up in the air. Avoiding each other wasn’t a solution. Felicity missed him, and she was glad that she could be a part of his life, of his healing process, without risking her heart again. Well, maybe she was risking her heart still. Felicity wasn’t sure. Maybe her heart had just been lost since she had met Oliver.


	13. Chapter 13

The knock at the door made Oliver’s heart jump and press against his ribs with so much force that it almost felt like he was being pushed. He missed the next step, and, if it wasn’t for how quickly he managed to catch his balance, he would have most likely tumbled down the stairs. Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and took in a deep breath, telling himself to get a grip.

“Come in!” he called.

The door opened, and Felicity stepped in. Oliver watched her quietly while wandered through the  spacious living area and took everything in. Oliver couldn’t stop himself from thinking how beautiful she looked, and it had nothing to do with the tight fitting jeans and shirt that revealed the top of her breast. It was simply about the way her eyes were filled with amazement and a content smile graced her face.

When her eyes finally landed on him, she pushed her hands into the back pockets of her jeans and smiled at him. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Oliver replied, smiling back. “I am glad you’re here.”

“Yeah, sorry for being late. I was-“

“You’re right on time,” Oliver interrupted her. He descended the rest of the stairs and dropped the box he was carry to the floor, pushing it out of the way with his foot, so they wouldn’t risk falling over it. “John left about ten minutes ago, and I  figured I’d use the time he’s gone to separate all these boxes and put them where they need to go...and hopefully catch my breath. Who would have thought that moving would take so much energy?”

Oliver had indeed been a little tired after he and John had pushed the furniture that had been delivered here over the past couple of days from one place to another. The couch alone had been placed in ten spots before Oliver had decided where it looked best. He had never thought much about how his home was supposed to look. In the mansion, his mother had decided where things should be placed. In McKenna’s home, everything had had its place, and he had never questioned it. He hadn’t known how exhausting, not just physically but mentally, it was to decide where to put furniture. He was happy with the result, though.

“So, what do you think about the place?” Oliver asked, pushing his hands into his pockets. “Do you think it’s okay?”

This loft was the place he had chosen to live. He had always wanted to live in a place like this. Ms. Adams had showed him a few others before, and they had all been nice, but none of them had really felt right. As soon as he had stepped into this loft, he could see how amazing it would be to watch the sun setting through the large windows that took over the entire wall at the west. So, while he absolutely loved the place and knew he had made the right choice for him, which was actually all that should matter, Oliver really wanted to know what Felicity was thinking. He really wanted her to like the loft, too.

“It looks amazing,” Felicity told him. “Modern and yet warm. Usually, I think these modern homes often look cold and too clean. This is nice, quite different from where you used to live, though.”

“True,” Oliver replied with a chuckle. He shrugged his shoulders. “When I was younger, before I decided to move in with McKenna, I pictured a place like this as home. Then I moved in with McKenna, and we decided to get married and start a family. A place like this seemed inappropriate for those plans. Now seems to be the perfect time to have a home like this for at least a few years.”

When Felicity perked up her eyebrows in surprise, Oliver quickly looked away and bit his tongue. Despite the slight embarrassment, he felt a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. What he had meant was that he was single now,  but might be in a relationship soon. Still, starting a family seemed to be several years off, so it made sense to move into a home like this now. It might be his last chance. Yet, saying it out loud, he felt like it had almost sounded like a really bad, and way too subtle, proposal.

“I think I am doing something wrong when it comes to trying to find a place of my own because I have been searching for weeks and haven’t found anything that I like and that’s in my budget. Yet, you’ve only been house hunting for a couple of days and, by the end of the day, you will have a perfectly furnished and decorated new home where all of your things have already found their place.”

“You still want to move out?” Oliver asked. When Felicity looked surprised, he added, “Quentin mentioned that Sara hoped she might have convinced you to stay with her.”

“I am eighty percent sure, but… yeah… I still don’t know.”

Oliver cocked his head and looked at Felicity for a long moment. She did look unsure about the idea. From their time together, Oliver knew that her relationship with the Lances hadn’t started well because she had had an estranged relationship with her mother for quite some time. He also knew that she had been pleasantly surprised by how easily Quentin and Sara had welcomed her into their family and treated her like she had always been one of their own. He doubted that that had changed, so he wondered why she was still so hesitant to stay with Sara, especially with how much Sara wanted her to stay.

Since Felicity didn’t appear to want to talk about it, and Oliver didn’t want to push her, he figured it was best to let it go. She’d tell him when she was ready to tell him.

“I could give you the number of my realtor. Ms. Adams was really great. The places she showed me worked perfectly with the criteria I told her – open spaces, a few separate rooms in addition and price. It all went really quickly which was a huge plus in my situation.”

“Have the Hendersons already moved into McKenna’s house?”

“They are moving in as we speak,” Oliver explained. “As soon as John and I had all the boxes in the truck, we called them, so they could start the moving process, or really the little that they have. I wish I could help them more.”

Felicity smiled. “What you did for them was great.”

“I know the house will be in good hands with them, so that’s good.” Oliver pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Do you think it’s weird that I want the house in good hands?”

“No, of course not.”

Felicity crept closer, stopping a few feet away, so close that Oliver could almost smell the scent of her perfume. She had her arms crossed in front of her chest, while he kept his in the pockets. When she took in a breath, her breasts lifted and brought her arms closer to him, just close enough that they brushed against his shirt. After a moment of hesitation, Felicity loosened her arms from in front of her chest and put her hands to his forearms. Her fingertips stroked over the thick veins, knowing exactly where they were without looking. Oliver held his breath, suddenly noticing how much he had missed her touch.

“I think it’s great that you want to cherish McKenna’s memory and make sure that the things that were important to her live on. It’s very honorable, and I am sure it takes a lot of strength to keep doing that without staying stuck in the past.”

Oliver sucked in a sharp breath. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for.”

Felicity squeezed his forearms comfortingly. Her eyes were on his intently, almost feeling like they wanted to burn their way right into his heart. _Like they hadn’t already_ , Oliver thought to himself with a quiet smile. His heartbeat quickened as the moment continued. A part of him wanted to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer. All he wanted to do was hold her for just a few seconds. He knew he had no right to though so he stayed still.

Oliver didn’t know how much time had passed. The air around them seemed to fill with tension. Sparks of chemistry were crackling, making it hard to look away. Oliver wasn’t sure if it was just his imagination or if it was real, but he felt like he and Felicity were drawing together. When her gaze suddenly lowered to his lips, his body started prickling. She looked back into his eyes, and they were filled with emotion and longing, the same longing that was mirrored in his eyes. His breath hitched and every cell in his body tried to convince him to take a step closer and brush his lips against her.

Just when his heart seemed to be taken control of  his actions, winning over his brain that told him it was a stupid idea and that they weren’t there yet, Felicity took a step back. With a smile that was almost a little bit to bright, she clapped her hands, and just like that the moment was over.

“So, where do we start unpacking?”

“The bedroom, if you don’t mind,” Oliver gestured to the upper area where the bed was placed. “It’s upstairs.”

“It’s fine,” Felicity replied. “I’ve gotten better with stairs.”

Oliver smiled and led the way. He walked slowly, making sure Felicity had time to climb the stairs. He could see that it was exhausting for her. She did look a lot better, fitter, than she had been a few weeks ago. From their recent text messages, he knew that physical therapy was continuing to make her stronger. Hopefully, she’d make a full recovery by the end of the season.

“In these boxes, there are mainly clothes and shoes. No worries, though. In the boxes over there is bedding and decorations,” Oliver said when they reached the sleeping area. “Any preferences?”

“Oh, I’ll take care of the clothes. I think that’s my thing,” Felicity said. She dropped her purse to the floor, kicked off her shoes and opened the three large doors of the wardrobe. “Any idea where I should put what? Apart from the obvious spaces for suits, ties and shoes?”

“No, I really don’t care.”

Felicity turned her head back over her shoulder and looked at him with an incredulous expression on her face. When Oliver just grinned, sheepishly, she chuckled and shook her head.

“Sometimes I forget that you grew up rich,” she said, “because only a person being used to fancy clothes wears them on an almost daily basis and, yet, has little to no respect for them.”

Oliver pursed his lips. For a short moment he wondered if she was angry with him. He knew that, unlike him, she had had to put a lot of work and effort into school, college, and at work to be where she was now and to afford the clothes – dresses, shoes, coats, everything to help express her individuality – she loved so much. When she had been a kid, her mother had had trouble providing her with even the simple things like a replacement for a pair of worn-out shoes. She hadn’t had it as easy as he had had. When Oliver saw the glimpse of amusement in her eyes, he smiled with relief, though.

“I am not leaving the kitchen to anyone else, though,” Oliver said. “I know exactly where I want and need everything in there.”

Felicity smiled, rolling her eyes mockingly. “Why am I not surprised?”

For the next forty-five minutes, they worked in almost complete silence. While Felicity was putting away his clothes, Oliver made quick work of his underwear and socks before he made the bed and eventually started unpacking the decorations. There wasn’t much. A potted plant that Anna had given to him last week and a giant global map that he hung up over the bed. The bedroom was sparsely decorated, but Oliver liked it that way. He had purposefully decided against putting any photos in there. His bedroom was going to stay a zone free of any objects that were attached to his memories of McKenna.

When Oliver had finished unloading his boxes in the bedroom, he decided to unpack the few boxes in the bathroom. That way he’d be busy until Felicity was finished with putting away his clothes, so they could go downstairs together to continue putting stuff away down there. As Oliver turned around, he noticed that Felicity seemed to falter in putting the rest of his clothes away, though. For a short moment he was worried that maybe she had pushed herself to much and too fast. At second sight, he noticed that she was holding the small bag of her things that she had packed and left at his house the weekend after his visit in Central City. He had never given the things back, and, when he had found the bag at the bottom of his wardrobe a few days ago, he had just decided to take it with him. He had thought that he could figure out what to do with it after he was settled in. The decision was in Felicity’s hands now, it was only fair. It should be her decision.

Oliver wasn’t sure if Felicity had noticed his gaze, but she did shoot a brief look back over her shoulder. She didn’t exactly look at him, but she glanced in his direction at least. After another moment of hesitation, she placed the bag  in the bottom of his wardrobe under his neatly hung suits. He guessed she had made her decision then.

In the bathroom, Oliver stepped in front of the mirror. He held onto the edge of the sink and closed his eyes for a long moment. He hadn’t known how much he had needed a sign to see that they were still walking in the same direction. Of course, the fact that she was here at all could have been a sign already, but Oliver just didn’t know. He was terribly nervous about all of this. Moving on and making sure Felicity noticed it was a like walking the fine line between forcing himself on her and chasing her away. He was worried one or the other would happen.

Taking in a deep breath, Oliver opened his eyes. He knew he still had a long and painful road ahead of him. He was appreciative of every moment that he had Felicity by his side to comfort and support him. It was a good feeling to have her with  him through this journey.

With that thought, Oliver went back to work. There was time to be nostalgic about the past and nervous about the future after everything was unpacked and Felicity had left. Until then, he’d enjoy every moment he got to spend with her.

When the bathroom and his wardrobe were taken care of, they went downstairs to continue there. Oliver took care of the kitchen while Felicity decorated the dining room. Apparently, she had talked to Thea about her plans for decorating because she seemed to know exactly what to do with the new stuff Thea had helped him buy. Oliver had just followed Thea through the store and swiped his credit card at the end. He didn’t have an eye for decor and he wasn’t picky about it which was why he had left the decisions up to Thea. He wanted a warm and welcoming home, and Thea knew him well enough to know what he’d like.

Like upstairs, they worked in silence. Oliver glanced in Felicity’s direction, and, every once in a while, their eyes met as he did so. It was a comfortable silence, filled with the knowledge that no words needed to be said. Though Oliver would love to talk to her since he wasn’t sure when he would get another chance to do so, he still decided to stay quiet. He wanted to give her the chance to decide if she wanted to talk or not.

“The dining room is ready,” Felicity said after thirty minutes. “That is apart from this, but I feel it’s better if you decide where you want them.”

Oliver turned his head to see Felicity gesture to the box of framed photos.

“Oh,” Oliver said. He had almost forgotten about them. “Yes. Yes, I’ll take care of that. Sure.”

Felicity smiled. “I am going to start in the living room in a moment, but I could use a glass of water.”

“Of course.” Oliver shook his head with a chuckle. “I am sorry. I should have offered. My home, your home, so- I mean- not- you-“

“I am just going to grab a bottle from the fridge,” Felicity interrupted with an amused smile gracing her face. “No worries.”

When Felicity walked past him, Oliver gave her the room. He walked over to the dining table to take a look into the box of memories. Nine framed photos were in there. He had exchanged them before packing them in. He liked to have some variety from time to time. Three of the photos showed his family – one showed his parents, one was of Thea and him, and the last was one of his entire family. Another photo was of him with some friends from school. Three photos were of him and McKenna, and the last two were of Felicity and him. He had wanted to have the same number of photos of McKenna and Felicity. Since he and Felicity hadn’t been together for long, there weren’t many photos, though, and he had been unable to decide which of the photos of him and McKenna he should put away. The picnic date at her favorite club, their vacation in India and their engagement party had all been important moments in their lives. He wasn’t ready to completely let go of any of those yet. He hoped that he would get the chance to create more memories with Felicity that they could capture photographically and be added to the loft.

Oliver placed the photo of Thea and him as well as the photo of Felicity and him, a copy of the one that sat on his desk in his office, on the side table next to the couch. The photo of his friends, along with the one of his parents and the photo from his and McKenna’s engagement party were put on the mantlepiece of the fireplace. He put the rest on the console table in the dining room, making sure the one of Felicity and him was front and center. He looked at the photos for a long moment and realized how right it felt to have a photo of Felicity and him next to the one of McKenna and him as well as one of his entire family. It had never felt particularly wrong, but it had never felt more right than in this moment, either.

When Felicity stepped up next to him, Oliver glanced at her and then, with a frown, he turned back to the photo of her.

“Is this alright?” he asked.

Felicity smiled. “Of course it is.”

A moment of silence settled. They looked at the photos on the console table without saying a word. Oliver wondered which the pictures would change and which would stay throughout the years. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to tuck all his memories of McKenna away. He wasn’t even sure if that necessary. He guessed he would figure out with time what exactly the life behind the finish line of his grieving process would look like.

Not running away if Felicity was shot again was probably part of it, though he was hoping that never happened.

“It must have been terrible to lose her.”

Oliver looked at Felicity shortly. He had been so deep in thought about Felicity and her being shot that it took him a moment to make sense of Felicity’s words. He followed her gaze to the photo of him and McKenna in India. Only then did he realized that she was talking about McKenna.

“For a long time, I thought it was unbearable.”

“Not anymore?”

Pushing his hands into the pockets, he sighed and continued looking at the photo. They had been so happy back then, and he remembered how he had decided to propose to McKenna while they had been on that vacation. He had just looked at her and suddenly knew that he didn’t want to live his life without her anymore.

“It’s still not easy,” Oliver admitted without shame. “It’s gotten a lot better, though. I just needed to let go of the idea that my life was never going end up to  the way I planned when she was still alive. It’s going to be different, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be happy. I am going to be happy, probably just as happy as I would have been with her. Just as happy, but different happy...”

“It must have been hard to come to that conclusion and be okay with it,” Felicity whispered. “I know how hard it was for me to lose my mom, but mothers are actually supposed to die before their daughters, maybe not that sudden or that soon, but before them. You should have had fifty years with McKenna before either of you died.”

“Life’s not always fair. It doesn’t always give us what we think we deserve, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there isn’t happiness waiting on the path life pushed us onto. We just need to find a new way to find that happiness.” Chuckling lowly, Oliver turned to Felicity. “I am sorry. I am not usually this… poetic.”

Felicity smiled softly. “Why? It’s a nice way to put it.”

Once more Oliver realized how easy Felicity was making things for him. Here he was, being poetic in a way that really wasn’t him, a bad and sappy kind of poetic. Still, Felicity just supported and encouraged him.

“You know the first week after she died, I barely got out of bed. I think I looked like a shut-in, looking and smelling terrible. Thea dragged me out and doused me with the showerhead once she got me to the shower,” Oliver told her. He didn’t talk about his life right after McKenna’s death often because he felt it was a very intimate thing. He knew he could trust Felicity with that knowledge, though. “It was really hard to get out of bed and move on, to continue my normal life. In the end, I figured I wanted to make McKenna proud, so I knew I needed to get a grip on myself. I think the problem was that I did a lot of things because I thought McKenna would want that from me. I started doing things for her rather than for me, and that was part of the problem.”

Felicity frowned. “And now you are trying to move on for me.”

“I’m not,” Oliver replied firmly, shaking his head. “I’m not moving on for you. I can’t deny that you are a major factor in this. You know how much I would love to earn another chance to be with you. I don’t know if I’ll ever get that chance, and, even if I don’t, recovering is important to me because you opened my eyes to the life I can still have, a happy life with a person I love. I mean of course I hope I get another chance, but… yeah… I mean what I’m trying to say is that because of you I know that I don’t have to spend the rest of my life alone. I am still able to love someone, and, with some work, even able to be in a relationship without ruining it. At least that is what I hope for myself.”

“You will be,” Felicity whispered. “Apart from the running, you’ve been a great boyfriend.”

Oliver hunched his shoulders a little. “Even though I talk about McKenna from time to time?”

Felicity cocked her head. “You know I never minded that, and every woman who wants you to forget about her is not the right one for you.”

Nodding his head slightly, Oliver lowered his eyes. As well-meant as her advice was, it did cause a slight stitch in his heart to imagine that he would have to find another woman to accept him the way Felicity did. Of course he knew it might be necessary, but he really didn’t want to think about that yet.

When a thought he had had early this week came back to his mind, Oliver looked up with a frown. Felicity’s eyes, deep blue like the ocean, were already on him.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

When Felicity shrugged her shoulders, a glimpse of pain flashed over her face. She put her hand to her waist and swallowed. She tried to not let him see it, but he noticed nonetheless.

“Let’s sit down,” Oliver suggested, nodding to the barstools at the kitchen island.

“I’m fine,” Felicity said firmly. “I don’t need to sit down.”

“Well, I do,” Oliver replied, “so do me the favor and sit down too.”

Felicity didn’t seem exactly convinced, but Oliver assumed that she didn’t want to fight with him either, probably because she really wanted to sit down too. Oliver grabbed the bottle of water Felicity had been drinking and took a few gulps, giving Felicity the time to take a relieved breath.

“So, what did you want to ask?” Felicity asked eventually.

“Well, you know that I am going to therapy now,” Oliver said, and Felicity nodded. “It’s a group therapy with people who have lost their partners, and a lot of them are in new relationships. Most of them say that what is hardest for them is that their new partners ask if they love them as much as their deceased partners. You never did that.”

He had only been to two sessions so far. He had listened a lot and talked some. Hearing the stories of other people who had lost the person they had wanted to spend the rest of their lives with had been really helpful. He had learned that he wasn’t alone and getting the support of people who have been through the same thing as he had was making it easier to accept that what he was thinking and feeling was completely normal. Anna’s words had helped him the most since she was the one person who connected him to McKenna more than anyone. It was good to know that he wasn’t the only one going through something like this. Even the guy leading the group had been gone through the same thing, and he had come out on the other side, with a new relationship and plans on getting married again.

Anyway, that question had stuck with him because in all the time he had known Felicity, she had always been supportive. She had talked with him about McKenna when he had been ready. She had never asked him to not mention her or seemed to be bothered by it. According to the other people from therapy that seemed to be a rare thing.

He watched Felicity as she seemed to consider her answer thoroughly before she replied, “I don’t know. I mean the obvious answer would be to say that we’ve only been together for a couple of weeks, while you and McKenna were engaged. There is no way that that’s comparable.”

Oliver closed his eyes, releasing a quiet chuckle. “You’re right. I’m sorry. That should have been obvious and-“

“The other reason why I would never ask that, even if we might end up engaged in a couple of years,” Felicity said, “is that it’s just not important to me. I don’t want any comparisons because I don’t believe that one person ever loves two people the same way. From what I can tell, McKenna and I are very different from one another. I wouldn’t compare myself to her, so why would I compare your love to her to your love to me? You loved her. Now you love me. That is all that matters to me.”

Oliver had no idea how Felicity did that. Everything seemed to be so easy when he was with her. Oliver wished he could see the world through her eyes for just one day. He was sure he’d not only be smarter but have a much more joyful and easier perspective on life.

Felicity cleared her throat. “Would you mind if I left? I think this exhausted me a little bit more than I thought and-“

“No, of course not,” Oliver said hurriedly. “Would you like me to take you?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. I have my car in the underground parking garage.”

They walked to the door together. Felicity slipped into her shoes that she had left there and grabbed her purse from the floor. When she turned back around to Oliver, he smiled.

“Are you going to come to the charity gala in favor of the local schools?”

“I was invited,” Felicity said. “If I’m up to it, then yes, I plan on going.”

Oliver smiled. “So, I’ll see you there?”

“You will see me there.”

There was a moment of silence before Felicity stepped towards him. She straightened up onto the tip of her toes and pressed a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek.

“Goodnight, Oliver.”

With that she left. Oliver stood, frozen, next to the door, memorizing the feeling of her lips on his cheek. He could feel in his heart that he was on the right track, and if this feeling meant anything, so was his relationship with Felicity.

* * * * *

“To you staying with your big sister where you belong.”

“I thought we were toasting to a lot of money being raised for the schools in Starling City,” Felicity replied with a chuckle and clinked her glass with Sara’s, “but okay.”

Sara took a sip of her champagne before she chuckled and shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t worry. Starling City is very generous, especially when it comes to schools.”

“I hope so. Palmer Tech alone is spending 100,000 dollars.”

“Really?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “I asked Ray for 50,000. He said 100,000 sounded better and-“

When everyone around them started clapping, Felicity and Sara turned around. It took them only a moment to realize that Oliver stepping onto the stage had caught everyone’s attention.

“Thank you all for coming,” Oliver said as he stepped up to the microphone. “I am very happy to see that so many of you are interested in contributing to make the education in Starling City’s schools better. I don’t want to keep you so I’ll keep this speech short as I know we all want to go back to chatting and enjoying some refreshments. There is just one thing I want and actually need you to know. Every penny you  donate tonight is going to be used where it is needed, in the schools and for our children. Not a single penny is going to used for this evening for bureaucracy. Instead, the money is going to be used to support children from low-income-families to afford school materials. It is going to be used to enhance equipment in  our schools. Not only do we want to make teaching better and give every kid the opportunity to get a proper education in school. We also want to give children the opportunity to aim higher than they ever thought possible because, at least that is what I have been told by a very smart person, if you aren’t ambitious, you don’t have to try at all.”

Oliver’s eyes suddenly found Felicity’s and her breath hitched. She wondered if he had known where she was the entire time, or if it had been a coincidence or just luck that he had found her in the crowd of people. She remembered that she had told him this the night they had first met, and he had actually asked if he was allowed to use it if the right occasion arose. She had almost forgotten about it, and she couldn’t deny that it warmed her heart that he had remembered it.

“You are not going to reach anything if you are not aiming for things, so aiming for things is what we want for children,” Oliver continued for a moment. “That being said, I hope you can shell out some money to say it bluntly. In return, I can promise you an evening full of nice music, wonderful company and really great food. Thank you all very much.”

Oliver’s eyes found hers again, and something about the way he looked at her told Felicity that he wanted to talk to her. Indeed, he was headed right towards them as soon as he had descended the few steps from the stage.

“You know, I think I’m going to call it a night and head home. I have to get up early tomorrow. I’ll just call a cab. Enjoy the rest of the evenings, sis,” Sara said and, before Felicity could hold her back, she was  gone.

Felicity bit down on her lip, as she watched Oliver walk towards her. Of course she didn’t mind that he wanted to talk to her. Given that he had asked her if she was going to come when she had helped him move last week, she had been sure that he wanted to use the opportunity to talk to her. She didn’t even mind talking to him. It was just that talking to him made her realize how much she missed Oliver. She missed their closeness and their deep conversations.

“Hey.”

For a moment Oliver seemed to think about putting his hand to her elbow and lean over to kiss her cheek. He caught himself before he did so, though, and grabbed a glass of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter instead.

“Hi.” Felicity smiled at him. “Nice speech.”

“I was inspired.”

His words were tugging at her heartstrings, and Felicity lowered her eyes in response. Being with him and talking to him made it so easy to forget her fears and worries. Her heart was already beating out of her chest, telling her to just go with whatever she felt. Felicity wasn’t sure if her heart was going to feel the same if the worries and fears that came with the risks it wanted to throw itself into came back to the surface.

“Where’s Sara?” Oliver asked eventually. “I thought she was here with you.”

“She was. She left right after your speech.”

“Already? The evening just started and-“

When Felicity looked at him intently, making him understand that Sara had not so subtly left to give them time together, Oliver stopped. Clearing his throat, he took a sip of his champagne and looked away. Felicity couldn’t tell if he was amused or felt awkward.

“You look beautiful, by the way.”

Felicity looked at Oliver’s face for a moment. As soon as she felt herself blushing, she lowered her eyes again, though. She looked down at her green dress with the deep V-neckline and the golden ornament adornment. It was actually from the same collection of the dress she had worn on their first date. Felicity wondered if Oliver noticed that, but a man who didn’t care where his clothes were put probably didn’t.

“It looks better with high heels, but I am not ready for that yet.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders and looked at him once more. “I feel like a dwarf.”

Oliver nodded slowly. “I am just going to repeat it once more. You look really beautiful.”

Though Felicity could feel her blush deepening and creeping a little further down her neck, she continued to look at Oliver. There was a softness in his eyes that let her know that he really meant it. He did think she was beautiful even though she wasn’t wearing high heels that didn’t only make her taller but also made her legs and butt look better and  she had done her hair and makeup herself for this occasion instead of hiring a hair and makeup artist. With the merciless light, Felicity was sure she was far from the beauty she knew a professional could paint her up to be. Since Oliver had seen her naked, she was sure she shouldn’t be surprised.

“I quit house-hunting by the way.”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows. “Really?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Yes. Sara and Quentin are two of the three reasons why I came to Starling City. They make this city my home. I think I can use that a little longer.”

“That sounds great. I am sure-“

“Ollie?”

When Oliver and Felicity turned around at the same time, Felicity’s hand bumped against Oliver’s chest, spilling her champagne on his shirt and soaking the front. Felicity pressed her lips together, quickly pulling her hand back.

“Sorry?”

“I really gotta talk to John about putting you on the list of possible dangers to my life,” Oliver replied with a dramatic sigh. When he shot her a brief look, he winked, though. “I am used to it by now.”

She had probably spilled more drinks on him than anyone else. Oliver just wiped his hands over his chest briefly before he buttoned the jacket and turned to Thea, who was looking at them from a few feet away. When Felicity noticed the smile on her face, the amused smile of a little sister seeing her brother flirting with a woman she really wanted to see by his side, Felicity shot her a warning look, and Thea quickly got a grip on herself.

“Joanna De La Vega from the CNRI wants to talk to you.”

“Tell her I will be with her in a few minutes.”

“Oliver, you should take the time for the other guests, especially since I’ve already donated a hundred thousand dollars.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Oliver told Thea. He turned back to Felicity, who quickly took a step back to prevent him from spilling the rest of her champagne on him. “I promised someone I’d introduce you to them, if you don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Felicity said hesitatingly. “You got me another job?”

Oliver shook his head with a smile as he gently put a hand to the small of her back and led her to one of the tables. Felicity was just about to ask who he wanted her to meet when she saw Anna sitting at one of the tables. She smiled at them.

“I already know Anna,” Felicity said.

“I know,” Oliver replied, “but she’d like to really meet you.”

Felicity frowned. “What-“

“Felicity,” Anna said with a smile, getting up and hugging Felicity briefly. “I am happy to see you again.”

“Yeah, it’s great seeing you too,” Felicity replied insecurely, not understanding what was going on. “Oliver said you wanted to talk?”

“Yes.”

When Anna just smiled and didn’t say anything more, Felicity glanced at Oliver. He puckered his lips for a moment, shifting his weight onto the balls of his feet. He looked almost nervous when he lifted his gaze again.

“I told Anna the truth.” Oliver made a short pause. “About us I mean.”

Felicity felt her heartbeat quicken. She knew what a big step this had to be. Starting to move on in his life and letting another love really find a place certainly cost him a lot. Sharing that with Anna, McKenna’s mother, though, felt like an even bigger thing. It meant that he accepted the change and, even if he might not be completely ready for it yet, he really wanted to be. Telling McKenna’s mother meant that he didn’t want to hide things anymore, maybe because he felt it was time to make it more real and give it a place in his life or maybe… Actually, Felicity wasn’t sure what this meant. All she knew was that it made her heart stumble and shout that big things, good things, were happening.

“I hope you don’t mind that Oliver told me,” Anna said when Felicity stayed quiet. She grabbed Felicity’s hands and squeezed them gently. “I also hope you don’t mind that I asked him to make sure I got to meet you tonight either. I just really wanted to speak to you for a second, so I could tell you how happy I am that Oliver met you. Whether or not you end up getting back together, you are one of the people who has helped shape his life the most, which makes you a very important person. I know it sounds weird, and it probably is awkward for you. Since McKenna died, Oliver is more like my son than the man who had almost become my son-in-law.”

Felicity shot a brief look at Oliver since those words, though directed at her, said a lot about Anna’s relationship with him. She couldn’t see his face, though, since his eyes were directed at the floor.

“Uhm… thank you,” Felicity said after a moment.

Anna smiled and squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to bother you any longer and certainly don’t want to make this evening more awkward for you. No matter what the future brings for you two, I hope that we get the chance to get to know each other better.”

She leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her cheek. When got up and walked away, she squeezed Oliver’s forearms gently.

“I hope it was okay that I told her,” Oliver said as soon as Anna was out of earshot. “I… she knew something was wrong with me, and I started babbling and-“

“Well, I know a lot about babbles, so…”

Oliver looked at her intently for a moment causing Felicity to suck in a breath and look away. This had been a lot, and Felicity wasn’t sure how to deal with it all. Everything about Oliver and their relationship was confusing right now. Her instinct was to protect her heart at all cost and keep her distance until she felt she could trust him with her heart again. Her heart seemed to be so willing to just jump right back into his hands though and that almost scared her more than the risk of Oliver not treating it with the gentleness it needed right now.

“Uhm.” Oliver cleared his throat. “Would you like to dance?”

Felicity cocked her head. “You don’t dance.”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders and reached out his hand for hers. “I’d make an exception.”

With a held breath, Felicity looked at his hand. She shot a look back over her shoulder where couples were swaying in time to the music that was way too slow to really dance to.

“I think I’d rather go home. I am actually quite exhausted, and I am not yet up for a dancing anyway. Sorry.”

Oliver looked disappointed when he pulled back his hand, but he did his best to hide it behind a smile. “Of course.”

Felicity hesitated. “Do you want to accompany me to the car?”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”

Oliver got her coat from the coat room and helped her into it. They took the elevator down to the underground parking garage. They were both quiet, neither of them knowing what to say.

“Are you going to come over for dinner on Wednesday,” Felicity asked after a few moments, “or are you busy at City Hall?”

“No.” Oliver smiled briefly. “I think I should be able to make it for dinner. That is if nothing pops up before then, which I don’t see happening.”

“Better knock on wood,” Felicity told him with a smile.

Oliver knocked on the wooden panel of the elevator and smiled. “I didn’t think you were superstitious.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “It never hurts to be careful.”

When the elevator doors opened, they both stepped into the cold underground parking lot. Felicity pulled her keys from her purse and unlocked her car. Oliver opened the door for her, and Felicity quickly threw her purse onto the passenger seat before turning back towards Oliver.

“Thank you for escorting me and for sparing me the walk down the stairs to get my coat.”

Oliver smiled. “Of course, but really I should be thanking you. You are giving me a short break from everything that is going on upstairs.”

“I guess you can need a moment to catch your breath before you have to talk to all of the people and try to get them to donate some money?”

“Yes.” Oliver sighed. “I am never going to get used to these type of occasions. Really, in moments like these, sometimes I have no idea why I decided to run for mayor.”

With a soft smile on her lips, Felicity stepped closer to Oliver. He was standing on the other side of the door, his arms rested on top of the door. Felicity put her hands to his forearms.

“You ran for mayor because you wanted to make this city a better place,” she told him, “and that is what you do.”

Felicity didn’t know if it was her hands on his forearms and how close they were or her supporting words or maybe it was what Anna had said, whatever it was, it created sparks between them. Felicity could feel her heartbeat quickening and her lips start to prickle. She could almost feel the memory of their kisses on her lips. Her entire body felt drawn towards Oliver as the moment continued without either of them moving.

As soon as Oliver started to lean in, though, Felicity felt a different memory arise. She suddenly remembered how much it had hurt to lie in the hospital without hearing anything from him. The moment they had was suddenly over, and Felicity took a quick step back.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Oliver hurried to say, quickly taking a step back. “I’m sorry. I was-“

“No, it’s- I gotta go. Sorry. Bye.”

Felicity didn’t give him a chance to say anything more. She quickly got into the car, closed the door and directed the car out of the parking lot even before fastening her seatbelt. Swallowing down the thick lump in her throat, Felicity shot a look at her rearview mirror to see Oliver standing where she had left him, unmoving with his head lowered and his hands pushed into the pockets.

She had wanted to kiss him. She had really wanted to kiss him. Her heart had already cast somersaults from the anticipation alone. She remembered how soft his lips had felt, how great it was to step closer to him and feel his entire body pressed against hers and-

The fear had stopped her. All of a sudden, she had remembered how painful it had been to lose him and to realize that he had left her all alone while she had been in pain. All their plans of a future together, a vacation together to start, had suddenly been ruined.

“Frack,” Felicity whispered. “Frack! Frack! Frack!”

She whispered the word again and again, cursing her heart for still wanting Oliver so much and her head for bringing back the memory of the pain he had caused. She cursed life for putting her into a situation like this and for  Oliver  being so god damn attractive. Most of all she cursed herself though because she just didn’t know what to do – follow her heart and risk getting hurt again or wait until it might be too late.

Felicity was still repeating the word again and again when she entered the house and forcefully kicked the door shut behind her. Immediately Sara appeared at the head of the stairs. She was dressed in a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her hair.

“Everything alright?” she asked with a frown.

 “No, no it’s not okay.”

With a sigh, Felicity leaned back against the door and squeezed her eyes shut. She heard Sara come down the stairs. When Felicity opened her eyes again, Sara was standing on the bottommost step, smiling at her.

“Oliver?”

Felicity nodded. “I want to give him another chance. I want to be with him. I know he is doing everything he can to move forward. There is nothing else he can do. What he is doing now is… it’s showing that he wants to move forward. He really is trying. He’s… doing so much more than what I was waiting for. I mean I have no idea what I was waiting for, but it feels like he is doing more than that. I want to give him another chance. I just don’t want to get hurt again.”

Sara nodded slightly. She reached out her hands and took one of Felicity’s between hers.

“I know it’s not an easy situation.”

“It’s impossible,” Felicity whispered. She wiped away a tear that had rolled down her cheek and took in a sniffling breath. “So, what do I do now?”

Sara smiled comfortingly. “Now you are going to change out of that dress and get into your pajamas. While you’re doing that I’ll pick out a horror movie to distract us and get the bucket of mint chocolate chip ice cream from the freezer. How does that sound?”

“Sounds like I made the right call when I decided to stop house hunting and stay here with you.”

Felicity hugged Sara, wordlessly thanking her for being there for her and comforting her tonight and all the other nights she had done the same. Arm in arm they went upstairs to implement Sara’s plan to distract Felicity for the night.


	14. Chapter 14

For most of her life, Felicity had felt that she didn’t need a mother, especially hers. When she had been younger, her dad had still been part of the family, and she had always felt closer to him than to Donna. After he had left, her mother had spent most of her time working, leaving Felicity alone to take care of herself in a lot of ways. Eventually, their big fight had happened, and Felicity had felt like her mother had obstructed paths for her life rather than open any doors to a happy future like mothers should. Of course, that stance had changed, especially during the last few years, but only now did Felicity feel that she was in a situation that really made her want and need her mother.

Since Oliver had tried to kiss her a couple of days ago, Felicity’s thoughts were spinning. It was obvious to her, now more than ever, that she was in love with Oliver. While she had only been able to admit that under the influence of painkillers a couple of weeks ago it was impossible to deny her feelings for him now. Felicity loved Oliver, and she knew he loved her too. She wanted to be with him, and he wanted to be with her too. It was all so easy, yet so complicated.

Felicity was sure that her mother would have some good advice for her if she was here. She remembered that she had reproached Donna with her interest in nothing but Felicity’s love life once. It hadn’t been true. Her mother had been interested in her interests and school, but Felicity knew that matters of the heart had just been where her mother had felt safer in understanding and supporting her daughter. She had wanted to be there for her daughter and offer advice if she needed it, but that had been impossible regarding school and computers since school studies and computer weren’t Donna’s thing. Anyway, Felicity was sure, she would have an advice for her regarding Oliver now.

What would her advice be, though? Her mother hadn’t had it easy with men, at least not when it came to Felicity’s father. He had disappointed her again and again. He had endangered her life and the life of their child. When push had come to shove, he had rather left them than fight for them by giving up on his criminal activities and become the husband and father they would have needed. Looking at it that way, Felicity tended to believe that her mother wouldn’t have encouraged her to give Oliver another chance and risk getting hurt again.

That would conform to what Felicity believed was Sara’s and Quentin’s stance on this. Neither of them had said it out loud. They said she was the one who had to decide this, but Felicity had gotten the impression that they wouldn’t advise her to give him another chance, at least no yet. She knew Sara didn’t want her to get hurt again, especially because she was worried about losing her newly gained sister. Quentin probably felt the same way, and it had to be even harder for him because Felicity was probably the closest connection to Donna he had. His friendship with Oliver and the mutual support they had offered each other during their losses only added to his hesitation on encouraging another try.

Would Donna really advise against another chance, though? She hadn’t given Noah another chance because he hadn’t been willing to change anything. He had rather run and given up on their family than tried being a better man. Oliver had run too, in a moment of panic, but he had come back to her, and he wanted to change. Felicity wanted to believe that her mother would have always offered new chances if she knew that the person asking for a chance really meant it. After all, Felicity hoped she had gotten another chance with her mother too.

With a sigh, Felicity looked back down from the cloudless sky. She was crouching in front of her mother’s grave, had been for almost ten minutes now. She could actually feel the muscles in her chest and legs starting to protest. Staying in the crouched position nonetheless, she read the engraving of the gravestone once more.  _ Beloved mother and wife.  _ Donna had been beloved, and she still was.

“I really wished you were here.”

Felicity sighed once more and got up, pressing her hand to her waist to apply some pressure where the aching of her muscles was the strongest. She had no idea why she was having so much trouble with her injury today since she had been doing so much better lately. Maybe it was the weather. She had the feeling it might start raining later. With the freezingly cold wind, maybe her muscles were just a little more sensitive.

After a brief pause to make sure she was ok to walk, Felicity turned around and headed towards the exit. She had just taken a few steps when the gate opened. Felicity stopped once she realized it was Oliver. The collar of his coat was turned up, and he kept his face down to protect his chin and cheeks from the cold breeze, so it took her a moment to recognize him. Yet, Felicity didn’t doubt it was him. Her heart jumped into her throat, and for a brief moment Felicity considered hiding behind a tree, so she could avoid talking to him. Since that seemed stupid and right out ridiculous, Felicity pushed that thought away. Besides, Oliver had looked up and saw her before she could have hidden anyway, so it would have made the whole thing even more awkward.

For a long moment, they both stood there staring at each other. Oliver looked as unsure about what to do as Felicity did. Oliver’s fingers were rubbing together in that nervous tick Felicity had noticed about him a while ago. Figuring someone had to take the first step, Felicity stepped closer to him, and Oliver followed her lead and met her halfway.

“Hey,” Oliver said with a shy smile.

“Hi.” Felicity smiled and pushed her hands into the pockets of his coat. “I guess you had the same thought as I did and figured you could use your lunch break for a little visit here.”

“I actually have the day off,” Oliver said. He lifted the small bouquet of sunflowers in his hand, waving with them slightly. “Otherwise, you are right.”

Felicity nodded with a smile. She continued looking at Oliver, biting her tongue. As soon as she felt her thoughts drifting to how great he looked, Felicity lowered her gaze, though. Now was not the time to think about how much she wanted to reach out her hand and stroke her fingertips over Oliver’s cheek or swipe her thumb over his bottom lip. She also couldn’t just lean in to kiss him. While that was what she wanted it just wasn’t possible with the way things were. No matter how much her body was tingling at the thought, they just weren’t there yet.

Hence, Felicity continued to look at her shoes. The new leopard-print pumps were quite comfortable. It was the first time she was wearing shoes with a high heel again, so she was relieved to know that she got to spent most of her day sitting behind her desk or in the conference room.

“Felicity, I have to apologize.”

At that, Felicity lifted her gaze again. “What?”

Oliver pressed his lips together for a moment, looking slightly uncomfortable. He shrugged his shoulders then.

“I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you. I am really sorry,” he said. “I was- well, you know how I feel about you. My feelings suddenly took over my rational thinking. I know that you need time, and I am lucky that I get to spend time with you as it is. I didn’t mean to-“

“It’s okay,” Felicity said quickly, unwilling or unable to hear more. “It wasn’t much of a big deal.”

Oliver sighed. “Still.”

Felicity wished things weren’t as complicated as they were, but that was something that couldn’t be changed easily. If it was different, she’d probably would have told Oliver that she had wanted to kiss him too. They could fall into each other’s arms and kiss, forgetting all their problems and focus on what they were feeling for each other. Life just wasn’t that easy though.

“Things are just complicated,” Felicity said. She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s not easy for either of us.”

“Yeah. I just don’t want to make it harder for you.”

“I know that,” Felicity whispered, “but fact is that I wanted to kiss you too.”

Felicity could almost see the breath hitching in Oliver’s throat at her words. She wasn’t sure that he knew that she loved him. She hadn’t said it out loud to him, not that she could remember. Maybe it had fallen from her lips when he had asked for another chance. Her confession right now seemed to take him, at least, a little bit by surprise, though.

“The timing was wrong,” Oliver said eventually. “It was… too soon.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah. Probably.”

Her heart ached a little, almost like she wasn’t believing the words she had just said, but she ignored the feeling. As much as she loved Oliver, she knew her heart wasn’t ready to try again just yet. If her rejection when he had wanted to kiss her had told her anything, it was that.

“How’s the loft?” she asked after a moment.

“It’s great,” Oliver replied, obviously relieved about the change of subject. “The kitchen is even better. I used the last couple days to finally start trying and improving some recipes. When I was looking for a good recipe for cordon bleu without ham, I tried a lot of different recipes and forgot how much I loved experimenting. Cooking is always great but experimenting a little is the best.”

“Sounds like a lot of fun.”

“It is.” Oliver smiled. “I just need to fit in some more exercising. We don’t want Mayor Handsome to turn into a euphemism after all, right?”

Felicity cocked her head, smiling at his teasing. “I am sure that won’t happen.”

There was a short moment of almost embarrassed silence. Felicity’s thoughts wandered back to the morning they had spent together when she had explored his body for the first time. She could feel a blush spreading on her cheeks at the prickling it caused in her core.”

Oliver cleared his throat. “I am going to bring tiramisu for dinner tonight.”

“Dinner?”

“It’s Wednesday.”

“Oh. Oh, I completely forgot,” Felicity said. She chuckled. “It’s Wednesday already. Time flies.”

“You know I don’t have to come if you don’t want me to, right?”

“It’s okay.” Felicity smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “I gotta go now. I have an appointment in half an hour and still have some things to prepare. See you later.”

Oliver nodded. “See you later.”

With a last smile, Felicity turned around and continued her way to the exit. She really wished things were less complicated and life in general was easier. Since neither would happen, she guessed there would be a lot more awkward moments like this waiting for her in the near future.

* * * * *

“Quentin, this is delicious,” Dinah said. She pushed another fork filled with pasta into her mouth. “I would probably starve to death if it wasn’t for you.”

“The same could probably be said for the rest of us.”

“Not necessarily to me,” Oliver said.

Felicity turned her head to look at him and smiled. “How did the recipe testing go?”

“It was a lot of fun, and I brought tiramisu, just like I promised.”

“We’re lucky Sara is not here then because it’s her favorite dessert. That leaves more for me,” Felicity said and smiled at Oliver for a long moment before she turned to Quentin. “Where is Sara by the way?”

Quentin shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

Felicity turned to look at Dinah, but she shrugged her shoulders too. When she lowered her eyes back to her plate, Felicity saw something in her face that made Felicity wonder if Dinah was really telling the truth. Felicity frowned. Had she missed something?

Sara hadn’t told her that she wouldn’t be at Wednesday night dinner. Quentin had told her when she had come home from work today, saying Sara had gone out. Sara had showed her three of her dresses a couple of days ago, asking Felicity which one she liked most. Looking back, maybe she had asked because she needed fashion advice for a date.

Felicity felt her stomach twist. She hadn’t been the best friend or sister lately if Sara hadn’t even told her that she was going on a date. Since Felicity had moved to Starling City, Sara had mentioned that she was interested in someone. She had never said anything specific, but Felicity had always felt like there was something more to that. Maybe she finally had her date, but because Felicity had been distracted with her own problems, she hadn’t even picked up on what was going on in Sara’s life.

“Does Sara-“

Before Felicity could ask the question that was on the tip of her tongue, Dinah’s and Quentin’s cell phones went off. They looked at the displays before exchanging a meaningful gaze.

“Do you have to go?” Felicity asked.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Quentin said as he quickly rose from his seat. “Sorry.”

“Something I should know about?” Oliver asked.

“No, no,” Dinah answered quickly as she put her jacket on. “There’s just a mass brawl in some club downtown. Back-up was called for, but all entities are out. With the motor show happening this weekend as well, we’ve been called in to help.”

“Enjoy the rest of dinner, and leave everything as it is,” Quentin suggested. “I will put everything in the dishwasher later.”

He already hurried to the door as Dinah kissed Felicity’s cheek and whispered into her ear that she would text her about Sara later. Only a couple of seconds later, the front door fell shut, leaving Oliver and Felicity in silence. With the candles Quentin had lit, it looked almost romantic which only made it more awkward.

Felicity bit her bottom lip. She had agreed to Oliver coming here because she had thought they’d have company. With Quentin and Dinah, she had been sure there wouldn’t be any awkward moments. They had some buffers to stop them from talking about the dead end they were slowly managing to work their way out from. It was awkward. There was no way that it wouldn’t be.

“Are you okay?”

At his question, Felicity lifted her gaze to look at Oliver with surprise. “What?”

Oliver smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “When you mentioned Sara before, you seemed a little… I don’t know… you almost looked sad.”

Felicity was surprised for a moment. She had thought she had hidden her reactions quite well, but she must have been wrong.

“You know me well.”

“I guess so, yes.” Oliver smiled, shrugging his shoulders. He waited for a moment before he added, “You don’t have to tell me, you know? If you-“

“I think Sara is dating someone,” Felicity said. “I… was a little bit distracted with my own problems lately, so I guess I missed that she had a date or something.”

Felicity could see the regret in Oliver’s eyes. Of course, he knew that he had a part in her problems that had distracted her. Felicity felt tempted to take it back, but she knew that wouldn’t be true, so she stayed quiet.

“I think she might be dating my Parks and Recreations Director.”

Felicity looked at Oliver in surprise. “Honestly?”

Oliver shrugged his shoulders. “I've seen her with Ava a couple of times, so who knows?”

“Ava?”

“Ava Sharpe. Like I said, she works for me.”

“Hmm.” Felicity puckered her lips. “I’ll have to ask her about that someday soon. I should have already, I guess.”

Oliver smiled. “I am sure Sara is not angry with you. She probably just didn’t want to shove her new relationship and happiness in your face since our relationship just ended.”

“I should have picked up on it nonetheless.”

With a sigh, Felicity leaned back and pushed her plate away. She wasn’t hungry anymore. She actually felt like she had eaten way too much already even though she had really wanted to save room for Oliver’s dessert. Tiramisu had sounded really great.

As the silence continued, Felicity wondered how this evening was supposed to continue. She knew it was better for her if Oliver left right now. Her heart wouldn’t be tempted to jump right back into a relationship with him. Like it had always been since the night Oliver had asked her for another chance, her heart was just way too willing to jump back in. It was scared, but willing. Felicity doubted she could hold it back with arguments much longer.

Besides, which arguments were there still? She had been worried that Oliver wasn’t ready to move on from McKenna yet. She didn’t want him to forget her. She just needed to know that he was ready for a life with someone new at his side, with someone who wasn’t McKenna. She knew he wanted to be ready, she just wasn’t sure that he really was ready.

Felicity bit her tongue, watching Oliver from the corner of her eye. It was stupid. She knew he had made so much progress. He had moved out of his house which she would have never asked of him. He had told Anna about her which she wouldn’t have asked for either, at least not yet. He had rediscovered his love for cooking. He really was doing everything he could. Felicity had thought that would be enough for her, knowing that he did the best he could to be  ready for a relationship with her, more than he had been the first time around. Unfortunately, that feeling still failed to settle in.

“Maybe I should go.”

When Felicity turned her head to look at Oliver, he wiped a napkin over his mouth and set it down on his empty plate. He looked sad, not really wanting to go, but feeling that he should. Despite Felicity’s first thought being a little relieved that he offered that, she felt a painful stitch in her heart.

“I am not sure I really want you to go.”

Oliver looked about as insecure as Felicity felt about her words. She wasn’t sure if she should have said them, but she hadn’t been able to hold them back. Since she had run into Oliver this morning and he had reminded her of the dinner, she had wondered how she would deal with Oliver. She was scared her feelings for him would drive her to do something stupid, something that would them back down the same dead-end street in a couple of months. She didn’t want that.

“How about a walk?” Oliver suggested after a moment. “The wind stopped earlier, so it’s a little bit warmer now. I could use some air to clear my head.”

Felicity smiled. “Sounds great. I’ve been sitting in my office most of the day because I was wearing heels and- Anyway, I could really use a chance to stretch my legs, too.”

They got up and walked to the front door. While they were putting on their coats, Felicity assured Oliver that Quentin had really meant it when he had said they should leave everything where it is. He always said he knew his dishwasher best, so he could put everything away.

When they stepped outside, Felicity realized that Oliver had been right about the weather. With the wind having stopped, it was a lot warmer than it had been earlier. She and Oliver walked in silence, both of them keeping their hands in their coat pockets. Felicity didn’t know why Oliver kept them in his pockets, but she was actually trying to avoid the urge of reaching her hand out and lacing her fingers through his. Holding hands was not what people in their situation did.

“How is work going?” Oliver asked eventually.

“Good.” Felicity smiled briefly, unsure what else to say about that. “How about you?”

“Exhausting, but good.”

Felicity looked at Oliver for a moment, almost praying that he had something more to say. He seemed to be just as unsure about what more to say as she was. Slowly nodding her head, she looked down at her feet and suppressed a sigh as a new silence settled.

It was crazy. She and Oliver had been able to talk so easily, and Felicity wanted that back. It was just that she was afraid of  what might happen if they got back to that point again. She didn’t want to-

Felicity shook her head. She had gone through this again and again. She loved Oliver. She wanted to be with him. She was too scared to risk her heart yet again. It was just too soon. She needed more time. Taking time was the rational thing to do she reminded herself and took in a deep breath before releasing it with a sigh.

“Everything alright?” Oliver asked.

“Sure.” Felicity nodded, not looking at him. “Just a little tired.”

“Too much work?”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe.”

“You need relaxation.”

“Probably.”

“Maybe a bubble bath.”

“I just get sleepy in the bathtub.”

“Or some yoga.”

“Stretching is still painful.”

There was a beat of silence. “You know you just have to tell me if I am annoying you. It’s the last  thing I would want to do.”

Felicity looked at Oliver in surprise, seeing the honesty of his words in his deep blue eyes. She knew she really just had to say it, and he’d give her more space even if it would be incredibly hard for him.

“I-“ Felicity faltered. “I don’t- I mean you- I- Frack!”

With a deep sigh, Felicity stopped. She hunched her shoulders, protecting herself from the wind that wasn’t there as much as from the heavy feeling of her heart. She bit her tongue firmly, making sure that she wouldn’t say anything she hadn’t thought about thoroughly. Too many dangerous words, that she knew she couldn’t take back, were on the tip of her tongue right now.

Oliver walked a few steps further before he turned towards her, making sure there was some distance between them. His hands were still in the pockets of his coat, but Felicity could tell his fingers and thumb were rubbing together nonetheless. His nervousness and sadness about this whole situation shined in his eyes, too.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said eventually. “I love you, but I don’t want to get hurt again. I know you are doing whatever you can to move on. I believe that you really want to get better. I can tell that you are getting better. You are starting a new part of your life – in a new home, rediscovering an old hobby and being open about this to Anna. I feel like I am leading you on with hesitating because there is nothing else you can do. You really are doing whatever you can and… I just… I’m just not sure I can… I can try again just yet. I want to, but I am not sure I can.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders with a somewhat desperate sound, a mixture of a sigh and a painful whimper. She was so conflicted, and she hated that feeling.

“You love me.”

At Oliver’s whispered words, Felicity frowned. Only now did she realize that he was smiling. It was a quiet, barely visible smile, but it was a smile nonetheless.

“What?”

“You said you loved me,” Oliver replied. “I know it’s complicated, and I know it doesn’t solve any of our problems, but… I am happy that you said it.”

Felicity sighed, cocking her head. She could see how emotionally touched Oliver was by the confession that had fallen from her lips. It actually warmed her heart seeing him so happy about her revealing her feelings for him. She had thought her feeling for him had been obvious, but she guessed she was wrong.

“Of course I love you,” Felicity said. “It’s just… it’s only making things harder.”

Oliver nodded. “I know it does.”

Of course he does. It must be the same for him. He had left her though he had probably known, consciously or not, that he was in love with her. Yet, he had left to protect his heart from the pain of losing her. Now she was keeping her distance to do the same.

“I-“ Felicity faltered as she took in a sniffling breath, feeling tears welling in her eyes. “I want to be ready to give you another chance. I never really forgave my mom for lying to me about my dad while she was still alive. I just wasn’t ready. It’s something I will regret for the rest of my life. I will never know with certainty that she forgave me for not understanding her reasons for chasing my dad away or lying to me and-“

“Hey.”

The whispered word fell from Oliver’s lips as he crossed the distance to her quickly and framed  her face with his hands, stroking his thumbs over her cheeks. Despite the cold air, they felt warm against her cold skin. The contrast of warmth was just as sharp as the contrast between her soft skin and his calloused fingertips.  With a quiet sob, Felicity closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before opening her eyes again to look at Oliver. His eyes locked with hers.

“Don’t go there,” Oliver whispered. “I understand exactly why you are hesitant. You have every right to hesitate. There are no angry feelings on my side, and, from the way I see it, there is nothing you should regret if something were to happen to me.”

There was no doubt in Oliver’s eyes, no hesitation and no sign that he was lying. He meant what he said. It didn’t alleviate all of Felicity’s worries, but it did give the depth of her worry a little ease. She didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. She was still trying to move on and go forward with her while knowing that she had never fully made peace with her mother. Thinking that she would have to go through that again was painful.

When a single tear escaped, she lifted her fingers to wipe it away, but Oliver’s fingers beat her to it. Their hands touched, making everything in Felicity tingle. Her eye contact with Oliver intensified. She felt drawn to him, like something was pushing her right into his arms. Her eyes lowered to his lips for a brief second, and her heart skipped a beat when the tip of his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip.

It was the same situation that they had been in only a couple of days ago when Oliver had leaned in to kiss her and Felicity had pulled away. She was tempted to straighten up onto the tips of her toes and close the distance between them, but before she could make up her mind, Oliver pulled away. He removed his hands from her cheeks, about to push them back into the pockets of his coat. Before he could do so, Felicity quickly took his left hand and laced her fingers with his. Oliver looked surprised, watching their hands like he had never held hands with anyone before. When his gaze lifted back to her eyes, he smiled softly.

“Should we continue our walk?”

Felicity frowned and took a quick look around. There was a bench not far from where they were standing, and she nodded towards it. “I could use a little break, so maybe we could sit down for a moment?”

“Sure,” Oliver replied with a frown. “I thought you were getting better.”

“I am. I have good days and bad days though. Today is just one of of the latter.” Felicity shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe it’s the weather.”

“Are you sure?”

Felicity shot him a brief smile as they sat down, nodding her head. With a sigh, she stretched out her legs and closed her eyes. She still remembered taking her first steps after the surgery and all the pain she was in. She knew she had made a lot of process, but little setbacks, like today, were still painful to accept. She was doing the best she could to give her body the time it needed to heal properly, though. She knew that she couldn’t push herself to be better.

Silence settled, neither knowing what to say. They just sat there, looking out at the park. No one was there but them which made the silence and the hand holding all the more intimate.

If they were on a date, this moment would have been perfect. Being alone in the park after sunset and looking up at the cloudless sky where they could see the stars sparkling. It was so romantic, or it could be if things were different. With a little sigh, Felicity rested her head against Oliver’s shoulder, and he kissed the crown of her head.

“Why is life so complicated?” Felicity asked.

“Sorry, but I was never good at philosophy. That’s one of the classes that I failed..”

Felicity grinned. “What were you good at?”

“Sports,” Oliver replied, “and biology as well as the mixture of the two.”

Felicity faltered for a moment. Oliver had said it almost a little too casually to sound like he was trying to be suggestive. When she lifted her gaze and saw him grinning, she rolled her eyes with a chuckle. Oliver just wiggled his eyebrows.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Because you already had a little taste of that?”

Felicity laughed, taking her head off his shoulder. “Really?”

Oliver grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “Kind of, yes.”

Felicity shook her head in amusement. She and Oliver had always had a lot of fun together, so she shouldn’t be surprised that they were having fun now. It was actually part of why she had tried to avoid Oliver even after she had decided to support him. When she was with him, she usually had a good time, and that made it harder to try protecting her heart from being hurt again.

When Oliver’s thumb started rubbing over the back of her hand, Felicity lowered her eyes to their hands. She watched his thumb moving over her soft skin for a long moment, letting the sight and the feeling spread goosebumps all over her skin. She squeezed his hand, holding it tightly. With a low sigh, she rested her head back against his shoulder.

This was complicated, and it just wouldn’t stop being complicated. Felicity hated complicated though her life had never been exactly easy. She probably didn’t even know what an easy life looked like. The thought made her sigh.

“Everything alright?” Oliver asked.

“Yes.” Felicity sighed. “Still thinking about my question from earlier. Why is life so complicated?”

Oliver leaned his cheek against the top of her head. His stubble got caught in her hair, but Felicity didn’t mind. She liked the feeling. When Oliver released a sigh, his warm breath ghosted over her face.

“Someone smart once told me that nothing worthwhile ever comes easy.”

Felicity frowned, angling her head back and making Oliver lift his. “What?”

“Your question,” Oliver replied. “Life is so complicated because nothing worthwhile ever comes easy. Or so I’ve been told.”

“By McKenna?”

“No.” Oliver smiled. “By Raisa.”

“Who’s Raisa?”

“She worked for my family when I was a kid. She was our housemaid, but she basically raised Thea and me. She was a great person.”

Felicity smiled. “With great life lessons to offer I guess.”

“Indeed.”

“Why did she tell you that?” Felicity asked. She turned her head and rested her chin on his shoulder to look at his face. “I mean what’s the story behind it? Do you remember?”

“Of course I do.” Oliver smiled. “We were making the dough for Christmas cookies, and kneading it, but it was exhausting and took so long.”

Felicity looked ad Oliver incredulously. “Are you serious?”

Oliver chuckled, shrugging his shoulders. “Yes.”

“Here I thought you had made some painful experience in your childhood, and it turned out to be the cookie dough.”

Felicity shook her head with a chuckle before she sighed and thought about his words more thoroughly. It was a nice saying, one that applied to almost all her life. She had always had to work hard for the things that had mattered to her – going to MIT and working her way to the top of a great company mainly. A lot of people believed that things only mattered when you had to work for them. Felicity wasn’t sure if that was true, but she liked the saying nonetheless.

“You know, I think the reason it is so hard for us is because we are something worthwhile. If it was different and we didn’t love each other like that, it would be easier. You wouldn’t have to fight with deciding if you are ready for another try and you wouldn’t be scared to get hurt again because I wouldn’t be able to hurt you if you didn’t love me. I wouldn’t put all my energy into finally starting to face a new future, and I wouldn’t be scared of hurting you again because you wouldn’t mean enough to me. Because we love each other, it’s more complicated than that, though, which means that we are something worthwhile.”

Felicity frowned. “You are afraid of hurting me again?”

Oliver held her gaze for a moment before he looked down. Sadness and shame ghosted over his face. His hand gripped hers a little more tightly, and Felicity put her free hand to the back of his. She cocked her head, quietly waiting for him to answer.

“I am,” he whispered eventually, nodding his head. When he looked at her, the vulnerability was visible in his eyes. “I know I hurt you, and I don’t want to do that again. I could pretend that I am completely alright, and that it will never happen again, but I didn’t think I would hurt you like that the first time, either. Yet, I did.”

Felicity smiled halfheartedly. She knew Oliver regretted what had happened. His hesitancy to just say that he was fine and it would never happen again proved how far he had come already. At least to Felicity it did.

“Well, it was an extreme situation,” Felicity replied.

“It was, but that is no excuse,” Oliver said firmly. He looked at her. “I should have been at your side and supported you. I am sure you needed someone to lean on.”

Felicity shrugged her shoulders, unwilling to make him feel any guiltier than he already felt. “I had Sara, Quentin and Dinah. I wasn’t alone.”

“I should have been there though,” Oliver replied. He squeezed her hand. “I swear to you that I will do my best to comfort and support you the next time instead of running away.”

“I am not planning on getting shot again, but thanks.”

When Oliver shot her a brief look, biting back a smile, Felicity grinned. With a little bit of a chuckle, Oliver lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back, making Felicity smile. If someone had told her that she would be able to joke about this with Oliver, she would have told them they were crazy.

“Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy,” Felicity whispered after a moment. “I like that.”

Another moment of silence settled and for some reasons the words her mother had told her when they had been fighting all those years ago came back to Felicity.  _ Maybe I wasn’t the mother that you always wanted, but I was always there. I stayed, and I tried. _ Things with her dad had always been easier because they had had the kind of natural connection that she and her mother hadn’t had because of all their differences. They had had to work for a good relationship.

Felicity had indeed once told her mother that she wasn’t the mother she had wanted. She had wanted a mother like her father – interested in tech and computers, someone to talk to about her hobbies and understand that a career in the tech world was what she wanted and needed more than a lot of friends or a boyfriend. Her mother hadn’t been even close to that wish, but, just like she had said, she had been there. Noah had left. He had given up on them. He hadn’t even tried to change his life to make things work. Donna had done that, though. She had stayed, and she had tried to make things work for Felicity. She had stayed and tried though it would have probably been easier if she had left and-

“Felicity?”

Felicity looked at Oliver with raised eyebrows, wondering if he had talking, and she had been too deep in thought to notice. When she saw the frown on his forehead and the slight hesitancy in his eyes, she frowned, though.

“What?” she asked.

Oliver puckered his lips for a moment before he looked at her nervously. “Do you think we could try baby steps?”

“Baby steps?”

“Like… spending more time together… maybe call it a date eventually?” Oliver asked. He frowned for a moment. “Do you think we are ready to go on a date… one day soon? But just to spend more time together, like this, first?”

Felicity opened her mouth to say something, but she wasn’t sure what she should say. If he had asked her five seconds ago, she would have immediately agreed. She enjoyed spending time with him. Their little walk and sitting here had proved that once more. Baby steps wouldn’t hurt. It would make sure they continued walking in the same direction. What could happen with baby steps?

Right now, Felicity was distracted by the memory of her mother’s words, though. Her brain-to-mouth filter might be terrible, but the filter that decided which memorized information came from the rearmost corner of her brain to the conscious part was usually quite intact. Felicity felt that should tell her something, but she wasn’t sure what it was.

“I know there is still a long way for me to go,” Oliver said quickly, mistaking her silence. “My way will be made with baby steps. Maybe that is the right pace for us too. We spend some time together. Maybe we go on a date one day. We take things slow. That way we can be in each other’s lives and naturally find our way back to each other, you know? We could rebuild our relationship slowly.”

_ I stayed, and I tried. _

Frowning, Felicity slid forward on the bench a little and leaned her head back to look at the sky. This morning, she had been at her mother’s grave and asked for advice. She hadn’t been handed any because it was impossible to get advice from someone who was dead. Maybe the memory of her mother was enough to show her what her mother would have advised her, though.

“Or maybe not.”

Felicity chuckled and repeated Oliver’s words. “Or maybe not.”

When she squeezed his hand, Oliver sighed. He mimicked her position, sliding forward a little and leaning his head back to look at the sky. Felicity watched him from the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Felicity asked.

Oliver turned his head slightly, and Felicity did the same. They looked at each other for a long moment.

“For pushing,” Oliver said. He shrugged his shoulders. “We talked about not rushing into anything again, and I use the first opportunity to ask for something more. I told you that I will respect whatever time and room you need and that I won’t push. I shouldn’t have asked for more, so I’m sorry.”

Felicity shot him a brief smile.

“Do you want to be left alone?” Oliver asked.

Felicity shook her head, just mouthing a “no”. Her eyes stayed on Oliver’s, looking at him intently. She took him in, watching the expression on his face. He was content and quiet. Despite the heavy things they had talked about today, mainly the complicated state of their feelings, he still seemed content. They were both scared, and Felicity had told him multiple times that she wasn’t sure she was ready to try again. Yet, Oliver was here. He stayed, and he tried.

Felicity sat up quickly. That was it. She had rejected Oliver several times now. She had told him that she wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship yet. She had rejected him when he had leaned in to kiss her. She had told him she wasn’t ready to give it another try. She had even mentioned that she wasn’t sure it would ever work out again.  Even with all of that , he was still here though. He stayed, and he tried. Just like her mother had done. Back then, Felicity hadn’t realized what her mother had been doing, but she wouldn’t miss it with Oliver.

“Everything alright?” Oliver asked, sitting up a little more.

Felicity nodded slowly, “Everything’s alright.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, making sure she was ready. Doing what her mother would have advised just because she had missed chances with her mother was not the solution. It wouldn’t be good for Oliver. It wouldn’t be good for her. It certainly wouldn’t be good for their relationship. They both needed to be ready.

When Felicity felt her heart jumping up and down from excitement, she smiled. Since Oliver had come to her and asked for a chance, he had made so much progress. He had put so much heart and energy into getting better. She had seen how much he had tried and how much he had effort he had given to make it work. She knew there was a long way ahead of him, but he was trying. That was all that really mattered, and she had known that all along. Even her heart, though scared of being hurt again, had known. It would have happily jumped back into Oliver’s arms at each given opportunity.

“Felicity?”

Felicity turned towards him. “I’m ready.”

Oliver frowned. “What?”

“I am ready to give it another try.”

For a split second, hope and joy spread over Oliver’s face. It was quickly replaced by confusion, though. Felicity smiled quietly. She was sure he needed to make sure she meant it before believing it just like she had needed a moment to make sure she meant it before telling Oliver about it.

“I know I am repeating myself, but what?”

Felicity chuckled, squeezing his hand encouragingly. “The last few weeks since I realized how serious you were about changing things, I have been trying to find reasons to be rational about our future. I have tried to find reasons why I shouldn’t be ready to try again. Rationally, it would probably make sense to wait, but I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Oliver’s frown deepened slightly. “Felicity, if this is because you regret how things ended with your mother and-“

“It’s not,” Felicity said firmly. “I… She once told me that, unlike my dad, she was always there for me. She couldn’t be the mother I wanted, but she did her best. He left, but she stayed and tried to be the mother I needed.”

Oliver looked at her for a long moment. “I don’t understand.”

Felicity chuckled. “Things between us aren’t perfect. They are complicated. Yet, you are here, and you try. That is all I needed to know.”

“But I ran when things got tough.”

“I know,” Felicity said with a sigh. She lifted her hand and cupped his cheek. With a sigh, Oliver closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. Felicity smiled. “I know what happened. I know you’d turn back time and make it right if you could. We can’t turn back time, but we can make the best of what happened to us in the past and look into the future. Together.”

Oliver looked at her face, looking for any uncertainty. Felicity just held his gaze, knowing he wouldn’t find any. When Oliver came to the same conclusion, he closed his eyes. He placed his hands over hers and leaned into her touch. His nose pressed against her wrist, and he breathed her in for a moment.

“I’m scared,” Oliver whispered. He opened his eyes, sorrow visible in them. “I am scared of hurting you again. I am scared of losing you. If the first happens, I might cause the latter.”

Felicity looked at Oliver sympathetically. For a long moment, neither of them said anything. Felicity was ready to try again, but she knew that Oliver had to be ready, too. She thought that he was, but he was the one who had to decide so. Otherwise, this wasn’t going to work.

“Are you really sure?” Oliver asked her after a moment.

“I am.” Felicity nodded. “And from your cautious reaction, I can tell you are not taking this lightly.”

“I am certainly not taking this lightly.”

“I know.” Felicity smiled. “I know.”

Another silence settled. Felicity wondered if Oliver could hear her heartbeat because her heart was pounding against her ribs. There was a rushing in her ear. It was so loud that Felicity could barely hear Oliver’s voice when he was finally spoke.

“I love you.” He smiled. “And I want to be with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course.”

Oliver didn’t waste another second. He framed her face with his hands and leaned in. Felicity’s heart was already about to jump out of her chest when Oliver stopped. His lips stayed just a breath away from hers, giving her the opportunity to pull away or tell him to stop. Instead, Felicity closed the distance between them. Their lips brushed together gently before meeting in a real kiss. When Felicity sighed, Oliver’s lips opened to her and their tongues met in a slow dance.

It wasn’t until that moment where Felicity was back in Oliver’s arms and their lips and tongues were moving in perfect sync, that understood how much she had missed this. She really had missed Oliver. Talking to him and being with him had felt so good and had made her feel so good, she couldn’t have fathomed how relieved she was to have this back, him back.

Whatever had happened to them was in the past. Their fears were still there, but they would face them together. They loved each other and they wanted to be together, so they would work through everything else. Felicity was sure of it.

When their lips parted, Oliver pulled back only for a second. Before Felicity could even catch her breath, he leaned back in to press another chaste kiss to her lips. Felicity smiled while Oliver rubbed the tip of her nose against hers.

“Wow,” she whispered.

“Yeah,” Oliver agreed. He brushed his lips against hers once more. “I am not going to disappoint you. You will not regret this.”

Resting her forehead against Oliver’s, Felicity opened her eyes to watch him. He held his eyes closed, smiling quietly. His contentedness infected her immediately, making a smile spread on her lips too. Several minutes passed as they stayed like that. Eventually, Oliver opened his eyes with a sigh and pulled back enough to look at her intently. When he didn’t say anything, Felicity smiled.

“What?”

Oliver grinned. “What do we do now?”

“Well, I guess we are feeling our way back into our relationship and-“

“No, no,” Oliver interrupted her with a chuckle, amusement sparkling in his eyes. “What do we do now? With the rest of the night?”

“Oh.” Felicity chuckled. “Well, what about dessert?”

Oliver perked up his eyebrows, cocking his head. “When you say dessert, you mean…?”

“Tiramisu.”

“Of course,” Oliver replied quickly, nodding his head. “That was what I was thinking.”

Felicity grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. “And then we can have a second dessert.”

Oliver pushed his tongue into his cheek. “Yeah?”

Felicity’s grin widened. “Yeah.”

With a smile, Oliver leaned forward. He kissed her lips three times, each kiss lasting a little longer than the last. When he pulled back, he got up and held out his hand for Felicity.

“Ready?”

Felicity smiled and took his hand. “Ready.”


	15. Epilogue

_ Two years later _

Looking at the cloudless night sky, Felicity puckered her lips. When she had been a kid, she had always wished that she could find the constellations. She had spent hours studying them in books during the day, and even more hours trying to locate in the sky at night when her mother had been working the nightshift. She had thought it would be a good idea to become friends with the stars since they were there every night when she was alone and couldn’t sleep. Unfortunately, Felicity just didn’t have a talent for that. She could still name and draw all eighty-eight constellations that had been in her book. She had never found a single one in the sky, though.

With a sigh, Felicity lifted her glass of champagne to her lips and took a few sips. She may not be able to recognize a single constellation, but it was still a great night. The sky was clear. There was no wind, but still chilly on this early April night. It made her long for summer. Winter had felt like it had drug on.

“Looking for shooting stars?”

Felicity jumped at the closeness of his voice and quickly turned around. Just like so many times before, it caused her to spill the rest of her champagne on his white shirt. Pressing her lips together and rolling them into her mouth, she lifted her gaze to Oliver’s face. He looked at her reproachfully, but amusement was sparkling in his eyes and gave away that he didn’t really mean it.

“The day is never really over until Felicity Smoak spills  her drink on me.”

“Well, usually I’d suggest you should take off your shirt, so I can lick what is left of my drink off your skin, but,” Felicity looked past him through the windows into the loft that was crowded with people, “I don’t think our guests would enjoy that. I mean they would enjoy it  if you took your shirt off, at least the ladies would, but not so much watching us getting caught up in foreplay.”

Oliver hummed, shooting a look back over his shoulder to where their guests were drinking, eating and chatting too. Felicity smiled at him briefly before she turned back around and looked over the city. A moment later, Oliver’s chest was pressed against her back and his strong arms came to wrap around her waist. Felicity smiled and leaned back against him, resting her head against his shoulder.

She kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds before opening them to look at Oliver’s face. He was looking at the sky like she had before. Even in the dark of the night, the deep blue color of his eyes seemed to shine. With the way his head was angled back, the line of his jaw looked even stronger. He was handsome, incredibly handsome. Felicity couldn’t say it had ever stopped to amaze her how handsome he was without even trying. It was kind of unfair the amount of sex appeal he had been blessed with.

Oliver sighed before meeting her eyes. When he didn’t speak, Felicity arched her eyebrow, wordlessly asking what was going on. Oliver grinned.

“I wanted to boast a little and show you a constellation,” Oliver admitted and kissed the tip of her nose, “but it’s been so long since I needed that romantic stuff to try and impress a girl. I think I need to refresh my skills before I am ready to use that again.”

“Good thing that you don’t actually have to impress me.”

“Because you are already unbelievably impressed by me?”

“Of course. Why else?”

Smiling brightly, he kissed the tip of Felicity’s nose once more and made her chuckle as his stubble tickled her sensitive skin. Felicity snuggled back into his arms and the warmth his body offered. Oliver took her left hand and lifted it to his lips. He kissed the back of her hand, swiping his thumb over the ring on her finger. He looked at his for a moment, smiling softly, before he kissed it too.

There was a bigger diamond that was framed by two smaller ones. It was a simple yet beautiful ring, something Felicity would have actually chosen for herself. After she had seen the ring Moira had received from Robert when they had gotten engaged, she had teased Oliver that she could never wear a ring like that since the diamond stone was too big and she would feel like she was lifting dumbbells whenever she lifted her hand. It had been meant as a joke back then, but she had still been more than happy when she had seen the simpler ring he had presented her.

Felicity’s eyes met Oliver’s, and they smiled at each other. Though neither of them said a word, Felicity was sure that he remembered the same moment Felicity did, the moment when he had knelt in front of her, during their latest vacation in Bali, to propose. It had been perfect. They had taken a late night walk on the beach, letting the water cool their bare feet as they had walked along the ocean. Oliver had stopped her eventually, telling her that he had wanted to wait until the next when they were hiking, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He had knelt in front of her then, telling her how much he loved her and how his heart was all hers. He hadn’t even needed to ask the question before Felicity had said yes. He had, just for the sake of completeness, asked her after sliding the ring on her finger anyway.

Seeing the ring on her finger still felt surreal. She had come to Starling City to connect with the family her mother had left her with. She had indeed made Quentin, Sara and Laurel her family. She couldn’t imagine going through the rest of her life without them. She had gained even more people, though, because she had also found her own family, a man she loved and who loved her back, a man she was sure would never leave her. When she had been a kid, left by her father, she had never dared to dream that this could be her future.

“What are you doing out here?” Oliver whispered, snuggling his cheek against hers. “In need of a little break from the party?”

“No.” Felicity smiled. “I am actually having a lot of fun. I am happy your mother and Walter came. We don’t see them often enough. It’s nice that they made the time to come for a week. Your mom and I also agreed that she is going to visit us more often as we getting closer to the wedding.”

“Though she is already trying to tell you how to plan it?”

“I appreciate her advice,” Felicity replied honestly, shrugging her shoulders. “We might have completely different tastes in dresses, flowers, menus and everything else weddings are about, but she knows what’s important in planning a wedding. It’s going to be helpful to have her help with the preparations. It’s just good to have a motherly perspective. ”

Oliver’s arms tightened around her. “Is that why you are out here? Are you thinking about your mother?”

“Kind of. Do you think-“ Felicity stopped and bit down on her bottom lip, shaking her head. “Never mind.”

“Do I think what?”

Felicity just shook her head again. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”

“Well, to quote you, we don’t do stupid, so…”

Felicity smiled amusedly. She had indeed said something like that to him a while back. She couldn’t remember what they had talked about. All she remembered was that Oliver had the same thought back then, maybe a little sad even, and her comment had made him smile. Just like it made her smile now. Over the years, they had learned how to make each other happy or get at least a smile from the other no matter how little they were feeling like smiling. Oliver stayed quiet, not urging her to reply. He just held her, peppering chaste kisses to the side of her face and neck.

“Do you think my mother is watching us from up there somewhere?”

She looked at the sky again as if it would suddenly open and her mother would smile at her from a cloud. As a child, she had always liked the thought that the people who died were living on a cloud that they could move wherever they wanted, so they could watch all over the earth and visit the other loved ones that were in heaven. Growing up, she had given up on that thought, but it did comfort her thinking about it now.

“What I think is that your mom, my dad and McKenna are together up there and partying with us or at least for us.”

Felicity smiled. She could almost imagine the scene. Her mother would decorate everything in pink and glitter, driving both Robert and McKenna insane. During the party, she would try encouraging them to dance. McKenna would give in eventually and end up having a lot more fun than she had thought she would, while Robert would stay where he was and just watch them. From what Felicity knew, Robert had never been much of a dancer.

Closing her eyes, Felicity let the scene play in her head for a while. She wanted to memorize the moment. That way she would know for the rest of her life that these three people, who had been ripped from her and Oliver’s lives too early, had been there with them.

“I think they’d all be really happy for us.”

Felicity opened her eyes and turned around in Oliver’s arms. Wrapping her arms around his middle, she rested her chin on his chest and looked at him.

“You think?” she asked.

Oliver smiled. “Absolutely. If they were here, they’d be celebrating with us.”

“Oh, really?” Felicity chuckled. “I actually think McKenna would pull me away by my hair and say,  _ Get your hands off my man, bitch _ .”

“Okay, I cannot argue against that.” Oliver chuckled. “With the way things are, she would be happy for us, though.”

“Yes, I think the same.”

Oliver lowered his lips and kissed Felicity. Their lips touched gently. Felicity sighed, and Oliver used the opportunity to stroke his tongue into her mouth. Felicity pressed herself closer to him, feeling all the little butterflies in her stomach trying to dance with the ones in his. Her body always reacted intensely to his. It would probably melt together with his if it were possible.

The last two years had been an exciting time, not only for her job but for them. Felicity had never had a serious relationship like this. Her relationships had never lasted long, most of them had barely deserved the name. With Oliver and her, it was different, though. It was better. Of course there had been some bumps in the road, but every good story had some, right? Nothing worthwhile ever came easy as Oliver had said once. They were something worthwhile. She could feel it in every fiber of her being. All the trouble was worth it because they had each other. That was worth all the trouble they had gone through to come here.

Figuring that it wasn’t the night for deep thoughts, Felicity sighed.

“Why are you out here?” she asked.

He frowned. “Carter said something that angered me. Then I saw you standing here and thought sneaking away from everyone to enjoy a moment with you was exactly what I needed. I know we have invited friends and family, but it’s still our night. Screw Carter. Nothing is going to ruin this evening for us.”

Felicity smiled. She knew Oliver hadn’t wanted to invite Carter, a former classmate. They had run into him last weekend, and somehow Oliver had felt forced to invite him nonetheless.

“What did he say?”

“Nothing that we should allow to ruin this day for us.”

Felicity considered insisting on an answer, but she chose against it. She knew that Carter and Oliver had been compared to one another a lot during their youth, and Oliver had come out on the shorter end most of the time. Even his mother had always been delighted by Carter, the golden son. According to Oliver, the praise had made Carter only grow more smug over the years. She doubted that he had anything meaningful to say.

Besides, Felicity knew a lot about the criticism people who didn’t know them held against them. When Oliver had announced their engagement to the press, quite a few tabloid magazines had written articles wondering if Felicity was just a stopgap and Oliver was marrying her out of gratitude rather than love. For media that earned most of their money from scandalous headlines, that story probably sold a lot better than the truth. Oliver had been angry and upset for at least three days, cursing reporters for trying to find tragic  reasons for stories where they were none, but Felicity had managed to calm him down. They knew the truth. They knew that they loved each other. That was all that mattered.

Felicity leaned forward and snuggled her cheek against Oliver’s chest, listening to the beat of his heart. With closed eyes, she stayed in his arms where she felt safe and cozy. She had never felt as loved by anyone as she did by him.

Oliver kissed the crown of her head with a sigh. “I think it’s time to go back in. I doubt that it’s a sign of playing a good host when the couple whose engagement is being celebrated is spending most of the party outside on the balcony.”

Felicity groaned and snuggled herself even closer to Oliver’s chest. “Can’t we stay here?”

Oliver tightened his arms around her. “I wished we could.”

“But we have guests,” Felicity agreed with a sigh. She rested her chin on Oliver’s chest and looked at him, scrunching up her nose. “Fine. Let’s go.”

Oliver pecked her lips before he let go of her and tugged at her hand to pull her back inside with him. “Come on, Mrs. Queen.”

“Mrs. Queen?” Felicity chuckled, standing still. “Not yet.”

Oliver turned back around to her and pulled her back against him. “But someday soon.”

Felicity smiled. “Someday soon.”

“Maybe in July.”

“I’d like a winter wedding more.”

“Okay, then in December or January maybe.”

“Sounds good.” Felicity smiled. “After that you can call me Mrs. Queen as long and as often as you want to.”

“Maybe I am going to be Mr. Smoak, though,” Oliver said. He puckered his lips. “Oliver Jonas Smoak. I would like that.”

“Feel free to take my name. I like it.”

“I could also continue telling you that you are smoaking hot.” Oliver grinned, letting his hands travel down her back to her butt and squeezing it playfully. “I don’t know why, but I do have a weakness for that wordplay.”

Felicity chuckled. “Really? I wouldn’t have noticed after you called me smoaking hot at least once a week these last two years.”

“I like to write it even more because you can see the spelling then.”

“I know.”

“Of course you do.” Oliver smiled and kissed her lips. He kept her close when their lips parted, holding her against him tightly. “I love you, you know that?”

“We wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t.” Felicity straightened up onto the tip of her toes and brushed her lips against his once more. “I love you, too.”

Oliver puckered his lips and looked inside at their guests. He scrunched up his nose as he looked back at her again, admitting, “Now I don’t want to go back inside, either.”

Felicity chuckled. “What do you want to do instead?”

When Oliver grinned, Felicity rolled her eyes with another chuckle. Of course he would want that instead.

“Do you think there is a way we can sneak out and… have some private time? It’s our night after all.”

“I doubt it,” Felicity replied, patting his chest sympathetically. “It’s the downside of living in a loft.”

Oliver pursed his lips. “We need to find a new place to live, something with more rooms where we can sneak away without attracting attention. It’s now on the top of my list of things to do in the near future. It has priority over everything else now.”

Felicity chuckled. “Don’t worry, Honey. I doubt we’ll be throwing  lots of parties in the near future, so there is no need to panic over a new place just yet.”

“That doesn’t help us for tonight, though.”

Again, Felicity chuckled. “A new apartment doesn’t either. We’d still have to find one.”

“That’s true.”

Oliver kissed her lips once more before letting go of her with a sigh and turning to the sliding doors once more. Felicity held him back by tugging at his hand, though. Oliver chuckled as he turned back to her.

“We are never going to make it back inside if we continue like this.”

“And that would be so bad?” Felicity asked.

“No,” Oliver chuckled.

He lowered his head and captured her lips in a kiss, smiling into it. Way too soon, he pulled away and started another attempt to turn towards the door, but Felicity held him back.

“Just one second.” Felicity kept holding onto his hand, stopping him from leaving. “I just wanted to tell you something.”

Oliver smiled gently “Shoot.”

“You know, my first day in Starling City, there was that gala?”

His smile widened, and he nodded his head. “It’s where we met.”

“Exactly.” Felicity stepped closer to Oliver and wrapped her arms around his middle once more. “That night, I really regretted accompanying Sara.”

“I remember. Neither of us was particularly pleased to be there.”

“Right.” Felicity leaned against him with a sigh. “Looking back, I am really glad I went.”

“I am really glad you went, too.”

They smiled at each other amorously for a moment before their lips met in a gentle kiss. While their tongues were dancing together, Felicity repeated the words in her head, feeling them sink into her heart even more. That gala had been the perfect start of their life together, so she really owed Sara one for urging her to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Lovelies!   
> That was the story of two people falling in love after losing someone in their life. I know it was a sensitive topic, so I knew not everyone would like it. I have to say I was a little surprised by how many people thought Oliver needed to forget about McKenna and shouldn’t talk about her or keep any memories of her.   
> This is about people being very black-and-white about this, not about those who criticized the details of how this played out in the story. I accept criticism (if voiced with respect). It’s just the general attitude that someone who lost his fiancée is supposed to forget about her and the memories he shared with her that bothers me.  
> Oliver and McKenna shared a life. During the time he was with McKenna, inspired by her, Oliver turned into a new person. This is important for his personality. Even if that wasn’t the case, there are years of memory for him that include McKenna. Forgetting about her and never talking about her would mean leaving out a complete part of his life. That was my reason to make Oliver and Felicity deal with this elephant in the room (or that other woman in Oliver’s heart) openly.  
> McKenna will always be Oliver’s first great love, but Felicity is his forever. Talking about what would have happened if McKenna had survived or Oliver had met Felicity first makes no sense. There is no answer to that, so why bother putting too much energy in the thought?  
> Like I said, I knew a lot wouldn’t agree with this story. It was a challenging thing to write for me too since I usually avoid exes and past lovers. The reason this story felt important to me (apart from the fact that this is very real for a lot of people) is a story my sister told me in her first year as a nurse:  
> She was taking care of a patient, a woman in her mid-thirties, who had been in a vigil coma for over five years by then. We don’t know how much exactly a person in that state realizes of her surroundings, but at least that patient wasn’t responsive. The reason she was in this state was that she fell down the stairs in the framing of the house she was building with her husband. They had just gotten married when this happened.  
> By now, the man had gotten married again. He had a wife and two children. Still, he was visiting his first wife at least every other week if possible. He also talked to her before getting divorced instead of just , saying he felt it was the respectful way to handle that. He wanted to live on, but he wanted her and his memory of her to be a part of his life.  
> Now, I know this is not the exact same thing because  
> a) the new wife was a good friend of the coma patient (which felt weird to me, so I didn’t write it into the story) and  
> b) the first wife didn’t die (though, in a lot of ways, the woman that man fell in love with, probably didn’t exist anymore and we don’t know how much the coma patient really realized).  
> Still, this was the story Another chance at love was inspired by. Oliver found a way to move on without pretending that those years with McKenna never happened. Felicity was the key to that realization because she didn’t feel threatened by McKenna which I think takes a lot of courage.  
> Anyway, I just wanted to add that for you to know!  
> My next story, 10 Rules of Rebounding, will take a couple of weeks or even months to be published. It’s an E-rated rebounding AU, very smutty and light. If this was too heavy for you, I am sure that story will be more fun.   
> xoxo Kathi

**Author's Note:**

> Updates always on Saturday!


End file.
